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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Luna_Nightshade, Nov 24, 2011.

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  1. TheRynJedi

    TheRynJedi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2018
    Well, not actually planning on writing a Horn story, but I have a clone wars era Jedi character I created long ago who had the same 'disability', and I'm finally getting around to writing her story, and because I'm just weird that way I wanted to make her fit new canon, and I kinda got stuck on this thought about Jedi telekinesis and initiates having to pass some trials.

    Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
     
  2. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Aha, ok. That's something else.

    If she is you could have it so that she is not that good with it, and/or need to concentrate to use it. Maybe she has a self-fulfilling problem with TK, she was not as good with it as the other kids in her class and therefore did not train with anymore then she needed and now she only use it when she absolutely needed it because she thinks she ain’t good with it.

    There is also a possibility if she is from a non-human species that her species just don’t get TK, like how probably blind species don’t get light/colour/sight based Powers.
     
  3. boady22

    boady22 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2003
    Horn was able to use telekinesis. After he absorbed energy he was able to turn that energy into telekinetic feats. He could do it without absorbing too, just very poorly. It took a lot out of him just to make a rock move but he could do it.
     
  4. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2018
    Hi guys! Writing question: When characters are crying (which somehow makes its way into every single one of my fics...[face_whistling]) how do you balance between showing that (like stuttering, for example) and making it comfortably readable? Any advice would be great :D
     
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  5. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    @ThisIsMe1138 - perhaps mention it once, but don't dwell on it?
     
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  6. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    What about quotes though? I mean, in some of them, it's a major part of the story.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
  7. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Not sure what you mean there.

    If you mean descriptive words, the Necroscope series is quite keen on "mewling".

    You could also hear a "keening wail", such as would accompany news of the death of one's youngling.

    You can change face colour, and go through tissues.

    Nearby characters can react to such goings on.

    I just had a wierd smartphone error (typing this on the phone) that erased my idea of easing a knife into the sobbing person's hand, and sprinkling slices of spring onion around them, to throw off the authorities. In the manner of sprinkling crack on a homicide victim, as in a stand up comedy set that I recall.

    Of course, that is only if you think you are going to get the blame for them crying.

    Can you give us a sample scene?
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
  8. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    For example, this is a quote from something I wrote: “What? How d-do you know what hap-happened?” The stutter gets the point across, but when do you stop and have them talking normally? Sorry if I'm really confusing...
     
  9. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Oh, right.

    You stop stuttering at the point that you figure they would have composed themselves enough to stop it naturally.

    Three sentences is a good yardstick, I would say.
     
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  10. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Good place for some show, don’t tell. Don’t tell me the character’s crying. Show me the thin lines that trace through the dust on his face. Have her wipe her face with the back of her hand. Have his shoulders shake as he covers his mouth with his hand.
    Focus on the emotion, not the act of crying. Describe how your character is so stunned by grief that she can’t stand up and grasps the railing for support.
    For all that’s holy, please don’t have a single tear sliding from her eye and down her cheek. Gah. Nobody cries like that, and it’s such a cliche.
     
  11. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    I agree. Hate when that happens. I like to make it more... dramatic :cool:

    Anyways, thanks @divapilot and @Sith-I-5 ! Helps a lot!
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
  12. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 2015
    @ThisIsMe1138, it may be creepy, but you'll probably want to observe people crying, either on film or in real life. Crying is a result of any extreme emotion, but speaking patterns can be different depending on the emotion. Someone who is crying from happiness will probably speak differently from someone who is crying from sadness, and also differently from someone who is extremely angry. That may need to be taken into account.

    An example from my own writing:
    Anakin looked at the Jedi. His eyes were full of conviction as well as indecision. "I've always heard stories of brave Jedi Knights who have fought for justice throughout the galaxy—that's something I've always wanted to do myself, too. But, I—I just never really considered that it would mean—that I would have to leave..." His voice caught in his throat as he glanced at Shmi, and he stopped.
    His mother leaned forward in her chair and grasped his hand. "Ani, my place is here. My future is here. It's time for you to go find your destiny—and that's something I cannot always be with you to experience."
    The boy hung his head and stared at the dusty floor. Tears fell from his cheeks, making small wet circles on the ground. "I don't want things to change," he said quietly.
    Shmi smiled and lifted up his chin. "You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting, Anakin."

    There is a bit of stuttering here, I suppose, but people don't automatically stutter when they are crying. I think the setting and the surrounding conversation go a long way to convey emotion and draw the reader into that same emotion. If you can get the reader to feel the same way the character is feeling, I consider that a great success.
     
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  13. teamhansolo

    teamhansolo Jedi Master star 4

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    Jun 25, 2018
    Is this the story
    Is this the story I think it is! [face_love]
     
  14. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    Haha, yes, as creepy as that sounds, I do :p Thanks a lot guys, these answers have been really helpful! And no, @teamhansolo , *hand wave* this isn't the story you're looking for
     
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  15. teamhansolo

    teamhansolo Jedi Master star 4

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    Jun 25, 2018
    :(
     
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  16. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    So...how do we call the opposite of Darth Real Life (DRL). As in, good stuff is happening, yet you're still distracted? :p

    Jedi Real Life (JRL) sounds boring...all about staring at cubes and such.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2018
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  17. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    Mando Real Life
     
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  18. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Luvvit. <3
     
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  19. teamhansolo

    teamhansolo Jedi Master star 4

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    Jun 25, 2018
    Me2
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
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  20. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Now I wonder if the story I wrote in December 2017 is already suitable for this enough. The characters read our fics in it and I realise that we'll all die in the end, BUT they themselves don't know that they're in a fic as well.

    Okay, I need help with this. :p
     
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  21. teamhansolo

    teamhansolo Jedi Master star 4

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    Jun 25, 2018
    I'mean interested in reading this story. What do you need help with?
     
  22. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

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    Dec 16, 2012
    If I write that a culture's technological level is "advanced pre-industrial" what images come into peoples' minds?
     
  23. -thor-

    -thor- Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2002
    Hmmm … Transport via carts drawn by draft animals only, unpaved roads with cobblestone pavement only on central city roads/squares, either primitive democracy (voting rights only for men based on land ownership etc) or aristocratic absolutism with strict class division, strong standing of religion in everyday life and politics … That kind of images?
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2018
  24. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

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    Dec 16, 2012
    Well, I have to admit that I was more thinking of rather advanced clockworks, wind and water mills, functional (if not mass-produced) steam-engines, semaphore lines, experimental electronic equipment, and similar. But good to know that's not what other think of :)

    And to be pedantic :cool:... *no, wait, wrong glasses* :-B*that's better* government systems are not part of technology and by the time of advanced pre-industrial so did USA have democracy* and Sweden had been controlled by a Riksdag of the Estates** for some time, and war, education or money (if not al three) always made class moment possible, among other things.
    * if we think of slaves and women as not counting as people
    ** a diet made up of the Four Estates (Nobility, Clergy, Burghers, Peasants)
    :p
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2018
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  25. ThisIsMe1138

    ThisIsMe1138 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 26, 2018
    LOL [face_rofl]