Author Topic: Official "What's the Story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
R_Zion  1283 posts
Registered: Nov '04
48080_Gryph (41909)
Date Posted: 9/2/05 4:28pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 9/2/05 4:38pm (1 edits total) Edited By: R_Zion
I guess I'll outline what I had had in mind for the Rodian. I've typed up some from my notebook, but I'll outline the rest of what I have. Be aware, this is gonna be long:

Nok

The Rodian Nok was an up-and-coming engineer on Rodia in the years leading up to the Battle of Naboo. A member of the Tetsus clan, he was a warrior by necessity, not by choice, and only so that he would not be ostracized by his people. Despite it all, though, the true love of his life remained machines and technology.

Several months before his twenty-second birthday, the leader of his clan, Detrais, and his wife, Saila, were on their way to the Rodian capital to pay their yearly homage to the Grand Protector, leader of the Rodians, when suddenly they found themselves caught in the middle of an ambush set by the leader of the Chattza clan, Clezik, and his son, Navik. The Chattza were a highly predatory clan reknown for hunting down and destroying weaker clans. In comparison to them, though, the Tetsus were among the lower clan within Rodian society. This was mostly due to the higher than usual population of those with non-combat professions, but a decently sized group of well-trained warriors kept them from being exiled from Rodia all together.

Outnumber and outclassed by their attacker’s power, Detrais and Saila of clan Tetsus quickly succumbed to them and were killed.

Fearing further Chattza assaults, it was decided by the eldest members of the clan that something drastic must be done to preserve themselves. While Detrais’s brother Galdo stepped forward to take charge of the clan in his stead, the surviving heir and Detrais’s only son, Greedo, was to be taken away from Rodia, protected in seclusion, until he was old enough to assume the mantle of clan head himself. However, a leader was still needed for this expedition. Out of love for his young sister Neela, who was betrothed to wed young Greedo, and concern for the future of his clan, Nok stepped forward. With his twin brother Teeku, Skee, a famed Tetsus hunter, and a handful of their warriors, they collected young Greedo and set off in the secrecy of night from Rodia. Once they were starside, Nok reviewed their NavComp and decided to set course for a small, out of the way desert planet controlled by the Hutts called Tatooine.

Upon arrival on the planet, the landed in the spaceport city of Mos Espa where Nok met up with an old friend of his from childhood. With his help, the Tetsus were able to find both shelter in the city and job working in and around the pod race bay and arena as either mechanics or security. Even better, there was even provided a friend for Greedo to help keep him occupied while they worked, the friend’s six-year-old son, Wald.

Life was slow on Tatooine, but Nok didn’t mind. It allowed him to focus all his efforts on improving his technological skills. As the months progressed, so did his reputation as an engineer, even to the point of bringing him to renown as the man to see across the various settlements on the desert world.

When the time came for that year's Boonta Eve Classic, many of the in-coming racers learned about Nok's skill and vied to have him on their crews for the race. In the end, though, the victory would go to the Phuii, Mars Guo. Through extensive performance checks and improvements made upon Guo's Collor Pondrat Plug-2 Behemoth Podracer, the real reason Nok chose to work with Mars, and brought the craft up to above peak performaces. Despite this, Mars Guo did not win the race, but lost to a young human local named Anakin Skywalker, but because of the excellent engineering having gone into his pod and despite a drunken pilot and high-speed Sabotauge by Sebulba, he was still able to pull in second place.

Though he had enjoyed working on his machine, Nok declined continuing working with the Phuii because of his drunking habits and overblown ego.

After the race, fueled by anger at the loss of the machine his brother-in-law had worked so hard on and because of a great deal of credits lost on wagering on the race, Greedo approached and ended up getting into a fist fight with Anakin Skywaler. Nok, amongst the crowd after congratulating the young human on a race well won, made his way forward to try and break up the fight, but was beaten to the punch by a tall, stoic-looking human who was constantly in Skywalker's company, as of late. Snatching up Greedo, he took him off to the side and had a serious talk with him. Reinforcing what he had been teaching the boy for months, Nok told him, "Though the way of the warrior is the way of our people, violence for violence's sake, with no purpose, should not be
your way."

So it was, for roughly ten years, the Tetsus remained on Tatooine. Nok continued working in the Pod race bay and took up side-jobs at the starport, as well as helping to repair some equipment for the local junk dealers, while Greedo grew stronger in both knowledge and stature under his tutelege until the time came when at last they were ready to return to their home.

While they were away all of those years, the Tetsus had shrunken back into the shadows of Rodia, doing all they could to prevent their extermination by the hands of the Chattza. Upon the return of the Tatooine group, however, the now Twenty-one year old Greedo at last wed his betrothed, Neela, and stepped forward to bring their clan back into the arena of Rodian clan politics and appointed Nok to serve at his side as a confidant and trusted advisor. During his rule on Rodia, Greedo, now known as 'Greedo the Elder,' sired a son who was given at birth the name of his father.

Seeing the brutality of the Rodian Gladiatorial Games and the use of this forum by some as just another means to eliminate weaker clans, Greedo the Elder spoke up and boycotted the games on behalf of his clan, remembering the words of Nok on that Mos Espa street years before. This action, however, spurred many Rodians to anger, chief among them the leader of the Chattza clan and now the Rodian Grand Protector, Navik the Red, murderer of Detrais and Saila of Clan Tetsus. Looking to complete the work his clan had been trying to accomplish for years, Navik initiated a new Tetsus extermination, beginning with the assassination of Greedo the Elder by his own hand.

Within the first week, nearly three-quarters of the Tetsus were destroyed. While most of the clan's remnant remained together, there were some who broke off, hoping to survive on their own wits, such as Revto Bodonawieedo, whose newborn son Dodo was born while he and his family were on route to Tatooine. Others, like Avaro Sookool, sought protection by joining criminals groups such as Black Sun, figuring that not even Navik the Red would dare attack a servant of Prince Xizor. Those others that remained, however, followed Nok, who with his own wife and son Beedo, Teeku Neela, great with child, Greedo, and a good many others, fled Rodia once and for all in a trio of heavily modified silver
Sheathipede-class shuttles and made there way to an untouched and unpopulated jungle planet on the edge of Hutt space. There they would remain and flourish, unseen by enemy eyes.

After settling his clan into their new home, Nokk took the three shuttles and hid them in a cavern within a nearby mountain. Every few months, he would return to the ship, perform maintainance, and keep them in peak condition should they ever be required again, though with all his heart he hoped they would not.

The Tetsus remained on their jungle world for years, with Nok himself taking the role of acting clan leader and surrogate father to Greedo and Pqweeduk, Greedo the Elder's second son, born after their arrival at their current home. In this way, Nok continued on in the same way as he had with the boys' father when he had to go through a similar circumstance. He would teach and train them until then they were ready to take the role of Clan leaders themselves. For all he had done to help protect his kin on some many occassions, his clansman bestowed up him the honorific title of 'Nok the Guardian.' Under his wise leadership, the clan lived in peace and prosperity, but not even 'the Guardian' could have forseen what would come next.

After years of scouring possible locations and trying to dig up what information they could on their query, the Chattza finall discovered the location of the Tetsus sanctuary world. Descending like a plague, Navik the Red and his warrios set foot upon the world at night and launched a surprise attack against the defenseless Rodian village, slaughtering many.

(This is where I stopped writing, but I'll summarize the rest)

Thinking quickly, Nok gathered up Neela, her sons, his own wife and son, and anyone else he could, and took them to the shuttles.

Having escaped annihilation at the hands of the Chattza once more, Nok took the remaining remnant and fled to Nar Shaddaa, where he hid them within the great vertical city. He took up jobs within a few of the local garages and put his engineering skills to work to help support his people. The rest of the clan grew quite acclimated to their new home and once again found rest. Suffering and death, however, seemed to have been the lot of the Tetsus' lives. After having tracked down a Rebel cell on the Nar Shaddaa, Imperial forces opened fire and scourged several levels where Rebels had been found, killing off almost all the Tetsus remnant in its wrath.

Only a handful of that group survived: Greedo the younger, discovering the death of his family, would move on to become a Bounty Hunter until one fateful encounter with a Corellian Smuggler named Han Solo. Nok's nephew, Teeku's son Chihdo, would partner up with a smuggler named Rik Duel, and Nok's own son, Beedo, would step forward to take Greedo's place within the court of Jabba the Hutt to try and preserve was remained of his family's honor.

 

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The2ndQuest  40065 posts
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Date Posted: 9/2/05 8:27pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
new one is posted- this time it's the "little Marauder" from Ewoks: The Battle For Endor.

 

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The2ndQuest  40065 posts
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Date Posted: 9/2/05 10:36pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
For the continuity notes for my Rodian submission:

-I decided to go with a Greedo/Beedo naming thing
-My intent was to identify that odd spaceship Anakin and Qui-Gon pass by as they run out of Mos Espa after Qui-Gon destroys the Sith Probe Droid in the one deleted scene on the TPM DVD.
-Pabs Tyerell and the foundation refer to an HNN article, though I made up Dents (I figured Ratts / rodents made sense).
-The idea is that the Ando Prime podrace mentioned at the end is the race being shown on the Outlander vidscreens in AOTC ::)

 

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"When your future self tells you to do something, YOU DO IT."
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Well, it's kinda a long story, see, I had this freaking sweet hat..."
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Tam_Elgrin  4205 posts
Registered: May '04
46300_Ahsoka Tano (3164)
Date Posted: 9/3/05 1:46am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
Snooba Crel

Snooba Crel was cursed with a twin brother who thought he was Rodia’s greatest hunter, simply because he could slag three RHTC droids (with difficulty set to easy) on a daily basis. Snooba honed his mechanical skills repairing not only his brother Kooba’s droids but also his various skiffs and speeders. When Kooba began to accept contracts that took him off Rodia, Snooba was forced to accompany his brother, and was often responsible for bailing his sibling out of trouble – but more often responsible for sabotaging his jobs. On an assignment to capture the Night Lord of Nivek, in the Hadar Sector, Snooba happened upon another hunter, who had been shot down above Turkana. Snooba repaired the man’s crippled ship, and the rival hunter went on to steal the kill from under Kooba’s stubby green nose.

Later, Kooba foolishly took on a mission to assassinate Jabba the Hutt. Using his brother’s technical expertise, the Rodians secured a place on Mars Guo’s pit crew. On the eve of the race, Kooba left to recon the Mos Espa Arena, but wound up only in the Poodoo Lounge, where he made several drunken bets on Anakin Skywalker. When the young boy won the race the next day, Kooba was ecstatic. Feeling on top of the world, he stormed into Jabba’s box in the aftermath of the race, where he was shot and killed by Chokk, Jabba’s bodyguard. Snooba was disappointed that the pod he had worked on had been wrecked in the race, but pleased that he had just acquired a small fortune in credits from his deceased brother.

With the money, Kooba opened up a small garage on Corulag. Shortly afterwards, he was approached by a mysterious visitor – the hunter he had helped on Turkana five years ago, one Jango Fett. Fett explained that he was looking for a good mechanic to help instruct an elite commando force – and so it was that Snooba Crel became one of the Cuy’vul Dar, teaching squad technical specialists just how to repair a crashed gunship within sixty minutes, amongst other mechanical secrets.

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
Title: Vice President/Chapt er Rep
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Registered: Apr '02
6198_Jawa
Date Posted: 9/3/05 11:51am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
jawajames posted:
The2ndQuest posted:
However there is room for any patterns to be broken- we've been told, for example, that we can expect an EU character eventually.


of course.. i was just going on if they stuck with some sort of pattern. an EU character? like they'd just pick someone from the background of a comic and let us run with it? or some character that is named in a novel, but nothing more is given? best guess might be one of the characters from the ewok movies or the clone wars cartoons.



character from the ewok movies..hmmm...

Tam, nice story!

 

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The2ndQuest  40065 posts
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Date Posted: 9/7/05 5:27pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
Pablo:

"Just a head's up. Whatever entry gets posted on September 9th, it will only be open for submissions through to September 15th (Thursday). starwars.com will not be publishing on September 16th, so certain pieces of content are moving around.

My guess is that by Thursday, Sept 15 at 3pm, starwars.com should have updated. All our computers will have been packed up by that time for our move to our new facility."

 

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"When your future self tells you to do something, YOU DO IT."
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Well, it's kinda a long story, see, I had this freaking sweet hat..."
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jawajames  10013 posts
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Date Posted: 9/9/05 9:00am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
no moving day update?

hehe.. so how about that mini-Marauder...

 

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The2ndQuest  40065 posts
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Date Posted: 9/9/05 9:41pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 9/9/05 9:57pm (1 edits total) Edited By: The2ndQuest
New one is posted- this time it's Bail Organa's speeder.

Here's my Little Marauder submission:

Kulza

This diminutive Sanyassan, despite the aspirations of his older brother, Zakul, was the highest ranking and most trusted of his father, King Terak's, Marauders on Endor.

That trust was earned when a hunting party he led managed to capture an Imperial scouting group, bringing them before Terak and subsequently exposing Charal's attempts to bargain for her sole escape.

Typically in charge of their Blurrg calvary during raids, he was known to assume command of warriors on occasion. Following a successful raid he would, however, more often be given the task of looking after Terak's most prized plunderings, once blurrg prisoner caravans had embarked back towards their fortress on the Dragon's Pelt savanna, in the shadow of the Dragon's Spine mountain range.

As his Chief Lieutenant, Kulza had the distinction of being one of very few Marauders with a truly recognized rank, not just some self-appointed title to superficially raise his importance.

Among his most prized possessions was an Abyssin ornament, acquired during a pirate raid prior to their crash landing on Endor, which he fashioned into an alarm bell for the castle's dungeon level.

Following Terak's death, Kulza took command of the Marauders, much to Zakul's displeasure, later solidifying his claim by taking credit for a great fire that rained down from the sky.

For more than a year, not caring for Terak's quest for "the power", King Kulza led many successful raids on the local Endor natives, including devastating attacks on several Dulok tribes.

His reign came to an end about a year after the Battle of Endor, after Zakul discovered the corpse of a Gorax and returned, claiming the kill for himself (in actuality, the giant was killed by a pair of marooned Rebel and Imperial scouts). Such a feat drew many to champion Zakul and soon he usurped Kulza's throne, sparing his brother's life (who was stlll emboldened to continue efforts to reclaim his throne) and ruled with a brutality equal to his father's.



Notes:

-Zakul and his leadership (and brutality) after Terak's death comes from Geonosis & the Outer Rim. I based Kazul's name on Zakul to enhance the appearance of their relation.
-The socuting group and Charal's attempts to bargain for her escape is from The Illustrated SW Universe.
-His association with the Blurrgs, commanding others and being in charge of Terak's most prized takings come from observations of the film (I would that he was the one holding the power source in the court to be of particular significance regarding hitning at his rank among the Marauders)
-The Marauders giving themselves meaningless titles to make themselves seme important was from either G&TOR or ISWU
-The Abyssin ornament's appearance in the movie jumped out at me, long recognizing it from the CCG.
-The great fire is the DS2's debris.
-The Rebel and Imperial socuts killing the Gorax is from the one story in one of the newer issues of SW tales (the story was titled Marooned, I believe).

 

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"When your future self tells you to do something, YOU DO IT."
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Well, it's kinda a long story, see, I had this freaking sweet hat..."
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jawajames  10013 posts
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Date Posted: 9/9/05 9:58pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
cool.. i like how you threw in the imperial/rebel scout pair.
i forgot to save my final draft of mine, but i had an early draft that i had to email from work to home before i finished...

“Size matters not” might work for the Jedi, but among
the barbaric Marauders brute strength generally means
that the biggest prevail. King Terak fit that mold,
being stronger and larger than his fellow Sanyassans.
But Hrund the Runt showed the Marauders never to
underestimate the smallest among them.

While Sanyassans often gave birth to large litters, in
times of scarce food supply, only the oldest two are
given full nourishment and the rest have to fight for
scraps to survive. Being the last born in a litter of
eight, the unnamed Hrund was abandoned to the roads of
the Marauder village. A one-eyed old warrior named
Patog found the child in the dirt clutching onto a
sharp reed and took him home and named him Hrund,
meaning “tough grip”. Patog shared what little food he
could find on his foraging trips around the Marauder
camp. Hrund suffered from stunted growth, but Patog
taught him to be tough and self-reliant.
When Hrund was four, Patog began training him in
hunting and fighting. One day, Terak and Patog
returned from a raid on the Duloks to find Hrund
wrestling with the Brark, son of one of Terak’s
generals. While Brark pummeled Hrund’s diminutive
body, Hrund had an eel-like grasp on Brark’s thigh and
bit into his hip, straight to the bone. Terak was so
amused with Hrund’s tenacity that he allowed Hrund to
join the raid for new warriors. Patog had never felt
so proud of his adopted son, but was also worried for
Hrund’s safety.

During Hrund’s first war party, Hrund lured a Dulok
warrior by mimicking the cry of a lanternbird, and
Patog joined his son in viciously defeating the Dulok.
Terak was impressed with Hrund’s trickery but his
generals argued against allowing the runt join the
Marauder army as a warrior. Terak let Hrund join the
forces as a caravan rider. Hrund wasn’t satisfied with
this role guiding blurrgs but took it upon himself to
excel at it. While the hunters were off on a raid, a
pack of borras attacked Hrund’s caravan. Most of the
other riders fled, but Hrund kept his blurrg under
control and slew two of the borras. This deed
impressed the Nightsister Charal, who witnessed the
event in raven form. As Charal and Terak plotted their
war on the Ewoks and the human Towani family, Hrund
was given command of the entire blurrg caravan, a
position normally given to a general. After Terak's death,
Hrund started a new village in the hills and was known as
a fierce leader who raided the white armored invaders.


bail organa's speeder?

 

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Tam_Elgrin  4205 posts
Registered: May '04
46300_Ahsoka Tano (3164)
Date Posted: 9/10/05 2:30am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
I very much enjoyed yours, James. I think it's conclusive evidence that the character count should be 3000 rather than 2000. sad

Lyrkul
The warlike Sanyassans had always zealously guarded the Moddell sector in their salvaged starships, and when the Clone Wars broke out, the race effectively sealed off the sector, harassing both Republic and Confederate patrols with ragtag fighter assaults. After losing several transports to the raiders, both sides declared the sector a “no-go” area, leaving the Sanyassans well alone. But in the wake of the bloody Battle of Cerea, Republic Admiral Borkata had no choice but to retreat into the Moddell, where a Sanyassan attack force, led by the distinguished warriors Kreshack and Terak, attacked and devastated the force. Only Borkata’s ship escaped, limping back to Coruscant.

Humiliated, Borkata returned to his native Arkania, where he rounded up a strike group and returned to the Moddell Sector, staging a lightning raid on Sanyassa IV. In the attack, Kreshack was killed, and his wife – pregnant with unborn child – captured. For a hefty fee, the captured Sanyassans were delivered to Arkanian Microtechnologies, who began re-engineering the warriors, eventually delivering a battalion of augmented Sanyassans to the front on T’olan. Kreshack’s mate went into labour midway through the research, and the genetic engineers took a special interest in her child, feeding him drugs to retard his growth and boost his muscles and reactions, making the child – named Lyrkul – a skilled pilot and warrior - skilled enough to escape the facility and rejoin Terak in the Moddel Sector.

Mocked for his size, even after proving his worth in battle, Lyrkul was relegated to a second-rate job as a blurrg herder, eventually rising to the post of chief blurrg commander. Feeling extremely limited and suppressed in this post, and knowing that his fellow Sanyassans would never accept him, Lyrkul joined the fledgling New Republic as a support pilot. Nicknamed “the Bear” because of his small stature and ferocious demeanour, Lyrkul was killed at the Battle of Doornik-319, during the Yevethan crisis.


This weeks looks like a challenge.

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
Title: Vice President/Chapt er Rep
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Date Posted: 9/10/05 11:53am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
Tam_Elgrin posted:
I very much enjoyed yours, James. I think it's conclusive evidence that the character count should be 3000 rather than 2000. sad



even 2,500. i always seem to finish my tale in the 2,200-2,500 range. wow you went for the comprehensive history of the Sanyassans here. often with my stories, i tend to spend a lot of effort trying to get the character to the scene in question, with little room for what happens afterward... then you have to go and spend just as much time just to get the character born! happy

i'll go check out the speeder one.

 

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Tam_Elgrin  4205 posts
Registered: May '04
46300_Ahsoka Tano (3164)
Date Posted: 9/10/05 1:15pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
>>"often with my stories, i tend to spend a lot of effort trying to get the character to the scene in question, with little room for what happens afterward... then you have to go and spend just as much time just to get the character born!"<<

Yeah, I did that last time too (but the Rodian history got chopped). I tend to get to about 1,000 and then realise, 'Ah no, I've not actually written ANYTHING about the character in question yet!'.

 

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Tam_Elgrin  4205 posts
Registered: May '04
46300_Ahsoka Tano (3164)
Date Posted: 9/15/05 11:36am Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
I'm sitting this week out - I haven't any ideas or inspiration at all. Hopefully the next one will re-invigorate me. happy

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
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Date Posted: 9/15/05 12:19pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
i didn't have much inspiration either.. i totally put it off until you reminded me. pretty simple backstory. it seemed to already have enough of a story as provided by the intro to the contest.

i'll post mine tomorrow.

 

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The2ndQuest  40065 posts
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Date Posted: 9/15/05 2:32pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
new ones up- a dark-furred Ewok.

 

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"When your future self tells you to do something, YOU DO IT."
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Well, it's kinda a long story, see, I had this freaking sweet hat..."
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