Author Topic: Official "What's the Story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
The2ndQuest  40066 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:28pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 6:29pm (1 edits total) Edited By: The2ndQuest
Right- he's the one who finds what the Separatists were working on. Once all the Seppie resources are absorbed by the Empire, Tarkin will be placed in control of the project.

Tarkin probably took such an initiative like this because he already had an idea of what it was, based in his knowledge of Sienar's Battle Planetoid designs.

 

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CooperTFN  4578 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:31pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
But I thought he was the one who gave the concept to Palpatine in the first place. Wouldn't he put two and two together?

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
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Registered: Apr '02
6198_Jawa
Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:39pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 6:48pm (2 edits total) Edited By: jawajames
the_jawa posted:


Lt. Barrow Oicunn

As the Empire’s military transformed itself after the end of the Clone Wars, many young officers found exciting opportunities for promotion in the growing Imperial Navy. Barrow Oicunn was such an ambitious junior officer. Born in the spaceport town of Nayli on Chandrila, and starting his military career in the Chandrila Defense Fleet, he transferred to the Republic Navy after the passage of Emergency Amendment 121b. With a recommendation from a fellow Chandrilan, Jedi Master Avan Post, he was accepted into the Navy’s command training program. Oicunn specialized in orbital fleet coordination, and was given a commission on the dreadnaught Subjugator.

As the war grew on, Oicunn saw that though the Jedi were great individual warriors, that many Jedi generals were poorly trained in naval operations and tactics. After the Subjugator was badly damaged in the Battle of Boz Pity, he accepted a promotion to a bridge position on the Ro-ti-Mundi, one of the Republic’s new Venator-class cruisers, and saw service in the defense of Coruscant. Though the Jedi heroes had rescued Chancellor Palpatine, Oicunn knew the tremendous cost in lost ships and crew. After the treachery of the Jedi was revealed, Oicunn attempted to remove the recommendation from Avan Post from his service record. He was caught in the act, but rather than being punished, his commander praised him for his initiative to show his loyalty to the Empire by erasing a blot on his record. After Darth Vader began purging the Imperial Navy of traitors like Jace Dallin and Segoro Autem, Oicunn saw the opportunity to move up in rank. Now a lieutenant, Oicunn proudly served as a fleet operations bridge chief on Tarkin’s flagship, the Harbinger. While coordinating the defense of the Death Star project, Oicunn felt a slight sense of dread as the Emperor and Lord Vader came personally to inspect the project. After their departure, Oicunn exhaled a relieved sigh – and resolved to apply for a transfer to Vader’s command ship.



at first i was going to have Mon Mothma give him a commendation, then i found a hometown jedi Avan Post (mentioned in the Krytos Trap), Republic 78 (Vader chokes Jace and chases Segoro), the Ro-ti-Mundi (Complete Locations), Emergency Amendment 121b (Insider) and naming Tarkin's ship as a omen for what is to come.. the death star. yes, there are quite a few ships called the Subjugator, but i left an out for mine.. it pretty much gets toasted in the events of Obsession, leading to Oicunn going to the Ro-ti-mundi.

There was a little timing issue for me - namely, when does this movie scene take place, in relation to Republic 78.. would Vader's formal appearance to the captains really take place after he goes to inspect Tarkin's project? so i kinda fudged the ROTS scene to take place a while after Vader's creation. i wanted to work Lekauf (from V:UG) in, but didn't have the space.

edit: at TalonCard: Sejma is an anagram for James.. i'm flattered - now you're writing me into your fics wink you still can't have my girlfriend though..
T2Q: I hope your guy doesn't ever deal with Russians telling him no..

 

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CooperTFN  4578 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:48pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
Dude, anything with Chandrila gets my vote. Aside from, you know, my entry. happy

I'm not sure something can "grow on", though. confused

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
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6198_Jawa
Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:50pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
grow on?
?
?

 

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CooperTFN  4578 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:52pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 6:52pm (1 edits total) Edited By: CooperTFN
"As the war grew on, Oicunn saw..."

I don't think that's grammatically correct.

 

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jawajames  10013 posts
Title: Vice President/Chapt er Rep
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 6:56pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
heh.. i did a search for 'grow' and not 'grew' - i took you too literally.. it'll grow on me.
mmmm.. well.. you're probably right, but it sounded good at the time. you get the meaning of it..

 

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BootlegVader  749 posts
Registered: Aug '04
8181_Hoojib
Date Posted: 10/21/05 8:57pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 9:25pm (1 edits total) Edited By: BootlegVader
Um hello everyone! worried

This was the first time I decided to send something, as I haf nothing else to do. So while I know the entry sucks, I will posted it here so I can see what others think of it. I f you got any hints for the future can you please tell me. worried

So here it is.....

Lt. Saul Oicunn was born in Eriadu City, Eriadu to the famous Caption Oicunn. Captain Cassio Oicunn was well known around Eriadu for his service in the Stark Hyperspace War, and his great loyalty to the planetary governors of the Tarkin family. Saul idolized his father his whole life so when he was old enough he joined the Judicial Forces. Soon after joining the Judical Forces the Clone Wars broke out.

Oicuun was placed under the command of the fleet of Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi. Though because of lack of skill he only took place in one battle, the battle of Skye. After placing his whole crew in danger in the battle he was going to get discharged, but his father went to his friends in the Tarkin family and asked if they would have his son transferred over to the Seswenna Sector to save his family name and keep his son out of trouble. So then Lt. Saul Oicuun was transferred over to the command of the newly made Star Destroyer Decimator.

Oicuun stayed as first officer of the Star Destroyer Decimator until the end of the end of the Clone Wars. At the end of the war Palpatine called Tarkin to come to Coruscant, Coming in the Star Destroyer Decimator and picked up Palpatine and his new apprentice Lord Vader, once in the Decimator Palpatine led Tarkin to cluster of blackholes, codenamed the Maw, where both Takin and Oicuun were amazed to see the construction of giant battle station.

Once there Oicuun could not control himself, as he was full of questions. As Palpatine, Vader, and Tarkin looked the battle station, the foolish Oicunn came up saying it was impossible for and Station that size to be completed and how he thought it was a foolish risk. It was there Oicuun received the honor of being the first Imperial Officer to be chocked by the mysterious powers of Lord Vader.



God this sucks.

 

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Valin__Kenobi  1013 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 9:16pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 9:27pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Valin__Kenobi
Tam_Elgrin posted:
And I bet they have red lights on for anyone who tries to slip something like "Melee's personal Super Star Destroyer was 5km long" or "the Ewok discovered conclusive records that Anakin Skywalker in fact was a byproduct of Sith experimentation".


laugh That actually made me laugh out loud. Nicely done. applause

Here's my submission for the latest guy:

Valin posted:
Rylet Oicunn was a cadet at the Raithal Academy when Palpatine was elected Chancellor, and he soon came to agree with the bold direction the man was leading the Republic. Oicunn hailed from Wukkar: a bustling Core World that had been a Republic stalwart for dozens of millennia. Before the Clone Wars he was a Judicial, but weeks after Geonosis he was transferred to the Acclamator assault ship Nimbar and sent off to fight in "the Great Clone War", as it was dubbed at first.

On Raithal he’d found his niche calculating ballistics trajectories for capital ship combat. His surgical bombardment calculations secured the Nimbar’s victory against Commander Trenox’s squadrons in the Battle of Ansinal, 7.5 months A.B.G. And while the diversionary starship battle raged in orbit, a dozen clone commandos led by Sergeant Reppep were able to sabotage a droid factory on Ansinal's surface, destroying or incapacitating over five and a half million battle droids in various stages of production. Although it turned out to be only a temporary setback for the Dark Jedi, Oicunn was promoted to Lieutenant for his role.

23 months A.B.G. the Nimbar was downed in battle and Oicunn became Gunnery Chief on the Moliminous, a grand Venator-class Star Destroyer fresh out of the shipyards. She joined an armada under Brigadier General Gideon Tarkin that repulsed CIS incursions into the Seswenna Sector over the next year.

After the Jedi Rebellion was foiled, Gideon briefly lent his brother--newly installed Regional Governor Wilhuff Tarkin--the Moliminous and other Venators to give the Emperor and Lord Vader an inspection tour of Wilhuff’s latest pet project.

Soon the Moliminous was redeployed to a task force under Vice Admiral Screed that reconquered lingering Separatist bastions like Hakassi and Sif-Uwana. Oicunn, now Second Mate, was key in driving Commerce Guild remnants from the magma smelting plants on Golrath, which lay abandoned until occupied by the Rebel Alliance two decades later.


It didn't turn out quite as well as I'd envisioned. It reads more like a laundry list of continuity plugs rather than a believable story. And I really ran out of room to plausibly explain how he relates to that end scene in ROTS. Oh well. I'm still happy with the various references I got in (these are the highlights):

--Ansinal and the battle are entirely my own creation. Trenox is a Dark Jedi from one of the CW video games (New Droid Army I think). The sentence about the clone commando mission was rammed in there pretty late in the process.

--"Moliminous" is an obsolete word meaning "Of great bulk or consequence; very important"

--Brigadier Gideon Tarkin is from some old RPG stuff.

--I purposely avoided details on the Death Star's progress, location, etc. since I don't want to run afoul of the 2007 DS novel or the TV show. Pablo or someone can fill that part in if they want.

--Golrath is from the old Marvel comics, but the connection to the Commerce Guild is mine.

--Bonus points to anyone who spots the Beatles reference. wink

Also, here's what I had for the last one, Diva Shaliqua:

Valin posted:
Diva Eo Shaliqua rarely talks about her near-human parents, but it is known that both were slaves of Inagadda the Hutt and conceived a child in secret. Eo’s talents made themselves known; clanmember Jabba bought her and made her a backup vocalist for his house band on Tatooine. Her vocal prowess and alluring dance earned the Hutt Lord’s favor and the honorific "Diva", conferred by her status as a minor Mos Espa celebrity.

Accompanying Jabba to the Podraces, Shaliqua made acquaintances with gamblers like Watto, Nic Whoma, and Romeo Treblanc, retired actor and new owner of the Galaxies Opera House. A huge Podracing fan, Romeo was attending as Gardulla’s guest his first Boonta Eve Classic, using the pseudonym Dineas Denoot--one of his ancestors who’d been a renowned Jedi Master. Unfortunately he bet on Gasgano and lost big when Anakin Skywalker took the trophy.

Seeing through his simple disguise and using her feminine wiles to draw out his identity, Shaliqua saw an opportunity and feigned a schoolgirl crush. Treblanc recognized her genuine potential but did become smitten with her during his brief stay, and promised to see her again the following Boonta Eve. And he did, bringing enough hard cash to buy her from Jabba. He freed her and brought her to Coruscant to live with him while she got on her feet, hoping that the relationship might develop into something more.

But hours after their arrival Shaliqua vanished, taking only her emancipation papers and a few items stolen from Treblanc’s home. Tragically, he’d planned to offer her a small role in the Galaxies’ next musical and was going to surprise her with the news the next day. Devastated, he had to return to his work with a heavy heart and a much lighter bank account.

Shaliqua adopted a stage name and took up a legitimate if unremarkable entertainment career in the cookie-cutter nightclubs and casinos of Coruscant’s midlevels. She never realized how close she had come to breaking through to the big time.


I know the "twist" is pretty contrived, but I like it anyway, because I was able to tie in with Rob Coleman's cameo and with Romeo's Databank entry (showing two examples of him getting sucked deeper into debt, etc.).

The "Dineas Denoot" bit is in reference to the Rob Coleman bust in the Jedi Archives. There is no hidden meaning to the name.

 

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CooperTFN  4578 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 9:33pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 9:34pm (1 edits total) Edited By: CooperTFN
And "Inagadda"? mischief

 

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The2ndQuest  40066 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 9:47pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
>>But I thought he was the one who gave the concept to Palpatine in the first place. Wouldn't he put two and two together?

 

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Valin__Kenobi  1013 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 9:50pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 9:52pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Valin__Kenobi
Good eye Mike! wink Yep, it's an Iron Butterfly reference. (Although I must admit I've never actually listened to the song).

Origin ... on the TOS forums we had a relatively lengthy discussion about whether "Diva" was the species name, a title/honorific, or something else. On a whim in roundabout homage to that, I named my Hutt after the Iron Butterfly song "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida".

...See what it is, is "Da-Vida" sounds a little bit like "Diva". whistling

...Well I thought it was clever. tongue

 

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The2ndQuest  40066 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 9:52pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion - Date Edited: 10/21/05 9:57pm (1 edits total) Edited By: The2ndQuest
New entry is posted BTW- Tzizvvt (a cantina alien! woohoo! a CCG card cantina alien! double woo-hoo! a CCG card cantina alien with an apparent association with a Clone Wars veteran! triple woo-hoo!!!).

So this'll be the last one for Round 3. So, that means roughly two weeks from now we'll hopefully get the next update ::)

 

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CooperTFN  4578 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 10:21pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
We could really have some fun with this one. There's a whole species/world basically wide open.

T2Q posted:
He then starts to look for it, in the hopes of getting control of the project, and they find it near the end (or at the end) of the war.

But are you suggesting that he figures out Palpatine was behind the Seps as well? Seems to me Palp would've preferred for him to never have known they had anything to do with it.

 

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The2ndQuest  40066 posts
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Date Posted: 10/21/05 10:31pm Subject: RE: Official "What's the story?" Hyperspace Databank Feature Discussion
Tarkin doesn't know anything about that- he only suspects what the Geonosians are building is related to the Sienar design or is a wholly seperate design based on the same premise. He knows finding it would be a big push for his influence and power, especially if he convinced the Republic (later Empire) to let him take over the project.


Anyways, here are the continuity notes for my entry:

-The Redoubt and it's participation at Boz Pity is from SW Insider (I didn't have room to mention it's commander, Denn Wessex)
-Second Ilthmar is a dejarik move from Han Solo at Stars' End (I liked the contradiction that it's a defensive move used by Oicunn for an offensive operation)
-Lethe was a former Corporate Alliance HQ mentioned in the AOTC VD.
-Eos was a Trade Federation facility from Starfighter
-Foundry was a former site of a Baktoid Armor Workshop, from HNN (which in itself was a Marvel reference)
-Foerost was a Techno Union shipyard as well as an R&D planet site, mentioned in HNN (referencing TOTJ)
-The whole droid loss thing is my attempt to help level the playing field between the (so far that we know about) millions of clones vs quadrillions of battledroids.
-Zaadja and the Death Star link are from Republic #67

 

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