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Topic:
The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Charlemagne19
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
1/20/06 7:49pm
Subject:
The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Just make up an award and present it to any character or momment in the EU.
The only qualification is you have to explain your choice in a paragraph and it has to be funny in some way.
;-)
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Charlemagne19
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
1/20/06 8:03pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Worst Sith of All Time
The Ancient Sith
Marcus Ragnos, whom apparently was smart enough to prepare for the Sith's fall, and Naga Sadow aside (you can't fault a Sith for ambition)....the Ancient Sith sucked. What sort of Sith does it take that NEEDS AN IMPETUOUS to go to war!? A Sith whose a talking head? Yes, that's really terrifying. Sith whom are UPSET about an assassination of one of their own? These guys wouldn't even last in the Empire.
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Kyptastic
Title: Manager Emeritus
SWD Co-Commish
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
1/20/06 10:27pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
- Date Edited:
1/20/06 10:30pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Kyptastic
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The Starwin Darwin Award, goes to...
Drumroll please
DARTH SION
Unfortunately Darth Sion can't be with us today to accept this award, as he was convinced to die by a man known simply as Exile. The greatest Sith Assasin of all time was stupid enough to remove himself from the gene pool because someone said he should  (honestly if I had that abillity I would go around old folks homes and make a million)
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Valar Morghulis
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Jedi Merkurian
Title: Games: RPG d20 GM
Registered:
May '00
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 6:33am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
- Date Edited:
1/26/06 6:39am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Jedi Merkurian
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The Alzheimer Irony Award for forgetting history goes to Darth Sidious.
As we're seeing in the EU (Dark Lord and Purge) Lord Sidious doesn't really seem to give a flip that there are still a whole crapload of Jedi still running loose in the galaxy. Given that the ruination of the Jedi Order and Sith rulership of the galaxy began with a single Sith Lord going to ground, you'd think that the reigning Dark Lord would be a bit more ummm....thorough in exterminating any remaining Jedi. Especially since you know for a fact that the frakkin' Grand Master of the Order is still unaccounted for! Actual dialog from Purge:
Darth Vader- My master, the Jedi are still dangerous. They should be hunted down.
Darth Sidious- Nonsense!
Net result: 1,000 of work gets unravelled inside of 25 years. Pathetic.
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dp4m
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 7:36am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The Looney Toons Foghorn Leghorn Award
Goes to Vergere.
"Hey, I'm a Jedi Knight who's newly minted and I've been extragalactic for 50 years, tortured, kept as a pet and hanging with people who I can't feel with any of the training I've received over my entire childhood which all leads me to conclude that the Sith Order is correct and there is no Light/Dark duality and the ends justify the means."
The Mara Jade Gullibility Award
Goes to Jacen Solo, for believing the aforementioned The Looney Toons Foghorn Leghorn Award winner. Because being the assassin for a despot somehow leads one to be working on the side of Good and Light!
The Willow Ufgood "Forget All You Know" Award
Goes to Luke Skywalker.
Somehow forgetting the instruction of Ben and Yoda and how to recognize the Dark Side, not to mention the Dagobah cave, his experiences in Dark Empire, his instruction with the Fallanassi and Jacen Solo's behavior after training with the Fallanassi Luke somehow still comes to allow his students and Jedi Learners, Knights and Masters to act with any "ends justfying the means" impunity they wish.
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"Looks like you're about to get pwned" - Eric Cartman
"Awarding experience points for cleverly and creatively generating an enjoyable experience. How warped is that?" - Darths & Droids
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TheSoloMan2
Registered:
Aug '05
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 11:34am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Best rip off of a sesame street character
Vergere!!!! what an idiot!
Funniest quote in an EU book
"Will you wear the suit?" -Han Solo in the swarm war
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Superbowl XL champs: PITTSBURG!
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wade1972
Registered:
Nov '05
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 12:04pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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TheSoloMan2 posted:
Best rip off of a sesame street character
Vergere!!!! what an idiot!
Funniest quote in an EU book
"Will you wear the suit?" -Han Solo in the swarm war
Funny you should mention that - when I first read about Vergere, I used to think about that old vulture from the Muppet Show.
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Quinnocent-Till-Sith
Registered:
Jul '04
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 12:09pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Jedi Merkurian posted:
Actual dialog from Purge:
Darth Vader- My master, the Jedi are still dangerous. They should be hunted down.
Darth Sidious- Nonsense!
Why do I picture Smithers and Mr.Burns [of Simpsons fame of course] saying that?
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"Look, we've been trying to tell you for years which books are good! And you just don't listen! You're not listening now! You're just going out there and buying this d*** book!"
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LastOneStanding
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 3:20pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The Never Underestimate the Power of the Vegetation Award goes to:
Executor Sedriss from DE II for being so arrogant he refused to believe that a talking tree could cause him any harm. Bang...darksider turns into dark meat! 
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Recipient of the Plush Prophet of the Dark Side Award
Plus, if you make yourself into a hot little bonzai, you can pull a badass Jedi boyfriend.-BobaMatt
Roan Fel = Emperor Tubby- C19
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Charlemagne19
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 3:22pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The I just can't Win Award goes to Darth Maul
If we briefly assume that the Tales stories are all cannon. Darth Maul loses to Obi Wan, Darth Darth Maul loses to UNCLE OWEN, Maul loses to Vader, Darth Maul loses to Luke Skywalker. Hell, I would have hung up after the Uncle Owen part.
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Master_Keralys
Title: Lit Mod of Ferociously Furious Fury
Registered:
Oct '03
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 3:28pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The I'm Such a Moron I'm Going to Die and Give My Body to a Computer Entity Because My Boyfriend Died award has to go to Cray Mingla, who gave up herself to a body-snatching woman, in the end not even achieving her goal of giving Luke a chance at love, since Callista ran off because she was a dork. *sigh* All for nothing.
- Keralys
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God made man. Man rejected God. God became the man Jesus Christ, died and rose again to life, saving man from himself.
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The truest.
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Charlemagne19
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 4:42pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Master_Keralys posted:
The I'm Such a Moron I'm Going to Die and Give My Body to a Computer Entity Because My Boyfriend Died award has to go to Cray Mingla, who gave up herself to a body-snatching woman, in the end not even achieving her goal of giving Luke a chance at love, since Callista ran off because she was a dork. *sigh* All for nothing.
- Keralys
Unless you buy my theory that Callista died on the Eye and Cray just developed delusions along with a mighty fixation on her mentor.
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kttch809
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 4:43pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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TheSoloMan2 posted:
Best rip off of a sesame street character
Vergere!!!! what an idiot!
I think Waywa Fybot has Vergere beat in this category.
"It was two and a half meters tall, had an orange beak and scaly three-toed feet, was covered with bright yellow feathers, spoke in an annoying high-pitched effeminate voice despite its repulsively obvious masculinity..."
(Lando Calrissian & the Flamewind of Oseon, beginning of Chapter 8.) 
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"The Force is a superstition, a myth people swear by. It's used to frighten children."
-Luke Skywalker
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Ashandarei
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 4:51pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Not really EU, but ...
The Happy Gilmore Award goes to Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones, for getting the crap beaten out of him by a man 60 years his senior.
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What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.
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rogue_wookiee
Registered:
Apr '04
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 4:53pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
- Date Edited:
1/26/06 5:19pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
rogue_wookiee
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kttch809 posted:
"It was two and a half meters tall, had an orange beak and scaly three-toed feet, was covered with bright yellow feathers, spoke in an annoying high-pitched effeminate voice despite its repulsively obvious masculinity..."
At least Big Bird didn't have his "masculine" parts showing. 
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AdmiralWesJanson
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
1/26/06 5:18pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The It's a Trap! award goes to Daala for losing a quarter of the fleet Harrsk gives her to exploding rocks...
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