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Topic:
The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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DARTH_MU
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
7/4 9:03pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Benirianism FTW!
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In Nelani's myriad futures he could dimly glimpse good and kind
acts, love, perhaps family and children. Kidan's Apprentice
EOV I: Despair (Link Lost) Gone, Gone, and never called me author!
Lightsaber123's sock. Crewman aboard the goodship Beneha
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CoppiceThorne
Registered:
Jun '08
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Date Posted:
7/4 9:37pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
- Date Edited:
7/4 9:49pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
CoppiceThorne
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Under the heading of strategics, the Highest Merit Accolade for the category of Wreaking Sweet Calculated Revenge Via The Occurrence Of One's Own Death -- goes to...Gilad Pellaeon. Excellent strategics on the hop. Sent the feathers flying on a number of fields concurrently.
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I won't make you feel small, because that's the one thing I belittle.
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Jinn_Soresom
Registered:
Jun '07
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Date Posted:
7/4 11:47pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The Kill Bill Award for Limb-Lopping, for the first time ever, doesn't go to Obi-Wan Kenobi, but rather to Jaina Solo for her sweet dis-arming of Darth Caedus in Invincible.
The Black Knight Award goes to Jacen Solo, who drops takes a licking and keeps on kicking...until Jaina cuts his foot off.
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"Nihilistic little bastard, isn't he?" Kyp Durron, speaking about Darth Caedus. Anakin pointed his lightsaber towards Darth Caedus. "You." Jacen smiled and bowed. "Me." Anakin struck. VERSUS: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27412705/p1/?
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DarthBoba
Registered:
Jun '00
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Date Posted:
7/6 3:57pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The Severe Overreaction To A Minor Trade Dispute goes to Jacen Solo/Darth Caedus, who single-handedly turned a minor trade disagreement into a full-scale galactic war while attempting to stop another war from ocurring.
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Creationists Travel Back In Time, Become First Human Skeletons
From The Cretaceous Period.
TOYB!
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Jek_Windu
Registered:
Jan '03
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Date Posted:
7/6 7:43pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The Keeping the to the Big Three as the heroes in TWO series about their children award goes to our favorite publisher, the illustrious and highly-skilled Del Rey.
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Tryanids: You don't have enough bullets! Imperial Guard: YES WE DO! R.I.P. Trini 
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goraq
Registered:
May '08
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Date Posted:
7/10 9:52am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The sneaky bastard award goes to Sardoth had wited more then 20 years to awenge his Master,and then he was killed by Vader.
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YVH
Registered:
Dec '07
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Date Posted:
7/10 11:39am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The That's No Moon award for Destructive Space-Stations goes to Centerpoint Station for being used for mass destruction, terror, and evil, and then being blown up in a spectacular fashion.
The Dead Horse award goes to Borsk Fey'lya and the Bothans for harping on and on about those dead Bothan spies who found the location of the Death Star II, and for using them for political leverage every other second.
The Yoda's Gimer Stick award for Excessive Drug Use usually goes to those darn spice-eaters and glitterstim-smokers, but has instead been presented this year to Cade Skywalker. Unfortunately, he cannot recieve his award as he is busy looking at the pretty colors.
The Ysanne "Ice Heart" Isard award for Cold-Hearted Cruelty goes to...Isard's clone.
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This cake is great, it's so delicious and moist.
"Procedure programs for visiting Gamorr consist of a single line: DO NOT VISIT GAMORR. Really!" - C-3PO, COTJ
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Callina
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
7/15 11:38pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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In honor of our recent holiday, Independence Day, I would like to present the following awards:
The Sarcastic James Madison Award goes to Star Wars authors for a solid stream of democratic governments that appear to have been designed in less time than it takes most people to floss their teeth. You could go on about the defeciencies of these governments. Who is the head of state? Why are there no ministers or secretaries? Why are there no political parties, caucases, Senate leadership, or any apparatus for fulfilling the executive functions of the government? What is the mysterious bureaucracy to which these devilish bureaucrats belong?
Every democracy in the GFFA is inept, badly organized, and predominated by knaves, fools, and craven self-serving idiots. Every democracy trembles on the brink of becoming a fascist dictatorship. It really should not be that way.
The Sarcastic James Monroe Award can go to just about everyone, but special recognition to the Mandalorians and Confederation.
The Alexander Hamilton Award for Power-Broking and Conniving goes to Luke Skywalker for his command performance in Invincible.
The John Adams Award for Titles That Try Too Hard goes to Boba Fett, aka "commando of supercommandos".
The George Washington Award for Statesmanship goes to no one. Yes, we're back to the lousy government complaint.
The Benedict Arnold Award goes to Jacen Solo. Like Benedict Arnold, Jacen was a great hero who became an even greater traitor, and that will be his legacy.
The Aaron Burr Award for Being Known For Who You Killed goes to Del Rey.
The Benjamin Franklin Award for Maxims and Proverbs goes to Yoda.
And finally, breaking the pattern somewhat but what the heck:
The George W. Bush Award for Being Misunderestimated goes to Jaina Solo.
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A man would have to rise to the dizziest heights of the divine understanding before he saw, as from a peak far above a whirlpool, how precious is his perishing soul. ~G. K. Chesterton
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Ashandarei
Registered:
Oct '04
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Date Posted:
7/16 10:20am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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The I Get No Respect award goes to the NJO of Luke's lifetime, who were utterly passed over in terms of descendants, survivors and even simple holocrons and recordings in the Legacy comics. Apparently Jedi who wimped out for a hundred years or so are better suited to leading the Order than anyone who was actually around for that time.
Accepting this award is Lowbacca, who would be at most middle-aged by Legacy and was likely also excluded because of his Silly Rabbit award for being a species that Jedi aren't for.
The Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull award for excellence in continuing a story in exactly the right way to alienate longtime fans goes to the people behind Legacy of the Force. Stand up and take a bow, folks, one could almost imagine you being George Lucas' heirs in this field.
The Miko Miyazaki Medal for Missing the Point Entirely goes to the Jedi Covenant, who continue to slide further and further into utter self-delusion in their hunt for Zayne Carrick. Unfortunately, they probably won't be raised as supercool undead Sith either when they die.
The Kratos Certificate of EXXXTREME!!! Powers and Serious Business goes to the Force Unleashed's Secret Apprentice, for starring in what seems to shaping up as "God of War: Star Wars".
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What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.
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rumsmuggler
Registered:
Aug '00
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Date Posted:
7/16 10:50am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Awesome, especially the Lowbacca bit, who would still be relatively young in Legacy(by Wookiee standards of age), not middle aged. 
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" Conan, what's best in life?" " Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of the women."
W.W.L.D. What Would Lando Do
"Why is the rum always gone?"
Retcons = making the dumb stuff look even dumber.
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KissMeImARebel
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
7/23 9:49pm
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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I would like to present a Token Whipping-Girl award to Tahiri: narrative afflictions include:
a) Orphaned at a young age on Tatooine
b) Tortured and brainwashed by the YV
c) Her best friend and love interest being killed, resulting in:
d) Being (metaphorically) orphaned again by the Skywalker-Solos who otherwise would have been her in-laws, and
e) Being driven mynock-poo crazy, leading to her:
f) Forced to merge with a Vong personality
g) Going Sith
Seriously, no one deserves to be that kriffed with.
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Waru's Sword of Truth
RebelMollom of The Kind
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Jedi Merkurian
Title: Games: RPG d20 GM
Registered:
May '00
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Date Posted:
10/6 10:28am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Today's OWNED! F&%#ing OWNED!!! Award goes to Asajj Ventress, who continues her abysmal losing streak against Jedi Masters.
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Striking down can result in common side effects including fear, anger, aggresion, nausea, dry mouth, hatred, suffering, headaches, IBS, & in some extreme cases has been linked to lava burns
Please consult your doctor before striking anyone down
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MistrX
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
10/6 10:50am
Subject:
RE: The Starwin Awards of Star Wars Literature
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Callina posted:
The Aaron Burr Award for Being Known For Who You Killed goes to Del Rey.
I think Mirta Gev may deserve that one as well.
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We are well and truly forked
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