Jedi Council Forums - Kyle Katarn is so tough...

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Author	Topic: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
Jaden-Skywalker Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 9/9/06 6:31pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Think of a beautiful woman. Kyle Katarn did her. -----signature----- PHASED PLASMA PULSE RIFLE
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SephyCloneNo15 Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 9/9/06 6:37pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough... - Date Edited: 9/9/06 7:08pm (1 edits total) Edited By: SephyCloneNo15
	The Dark Side ending of Jedi Knight isn't non-canon because LFL has a policy of making Dark Side endings non-canon. It's non-canon because they realized the story was over because no other good guy is bad*** enough to take out Dark Side Kyle. ROTS is lying, the real reason Vader is in the suit is because he picked a fight with 3-year-old Kyle, and Kyle was feeling generous that day. Edit: Thought "picked a fight" sounded better than "got in a fight" -----signature----- Member: GDG, GMG. Sub-GM: CDG Zam Wessel Lives! Recipient of Thrawn McEwok's Squib Creations Limited-Edition Replica Glove of Darth Vader™ "Samuel L. Jackson isn't only a fine actor, but a gamer. He's one of us." ~ Kotaku
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DarthNidLoc Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 9/9/06 6:53pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	SephyCloneNo15 posted: ROTS is lying, the real reason Vader is in the suit is because he got in a fight with 3-year-old Kyle, and Kyle was feeling generous that day. SOLD!!! -----signature----- Luke Skywalkers three rules for raising a son. 1. You can cut your own head off with a lightsaber if you are not careful 2. Girls are fun but dangerous 3. Uncle lando always has a card up his sleeve
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Darth_Erronus Registered: Sep '06	Date Posted: 9/9/06 7:02pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Ewoks are just leftovers from when Kyle Katarn shaves his beard.
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SWBob Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 9/9/06 8:23pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Kenobi_Kid posted: When Kyle Katarn fires a blaster, there's no recoil. The universe moves forward a little. Wonderful. -----signature----- Think of something funny. Got it? Is it really funny? Good. Thats my signature.
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Mark686 Registered: Aug '01	Date Posted: 9/9/06 9:49pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Kyle Katarn is not referenced in the Star Wars film saga, but he is mentioned in Pulp Fiction by Sam Jackson’s wallet.
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quad_gun_jinn Registered: Dec '02	Date Posted: 9/9/06 9:56pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	You can just take the ones about Chuck and Bauer and tweak them a bit "Kyle isnt addicted to spice, spice is addicted to Kyle" "Centrepoint wasn't used to create the Maw. Kyle dragged the black holes ther" -----signature----- It's my time to shine Like a tuna in the brine
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JaySkywalker01 Registered: Oct '05	Date Posted: 9/9/06 10:22pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Darth_Erronus posted: Ewoks are just leftovers from when Kyle Katarn shaves his beard. Nice. From any "certain point of view", Kyle Katarn will mess you up. Kyle Katarn once met Yoda. He put a collar on him and took him for a walk. Asteroids do not concern Kyle Katarn, Admiral, they're just his kidney stones. Chiss scientists created Alpha Red by synthesizing Kyle's urine. Kyle Katarn never writes in his datapads; the words assemble themselves out of fear. Some people whine and cry after slaughtering a camp of Tusken Raiders. Kyle Katarn calls it target practice. The account of Yun-Yuuzhan creating the universe by sacrificing parts of his body was just a day that Kyle decided to shave. -----signature----- Jay: "Ben Franklin said, speak softly and carry a big stick!" Carnage: Uhm, Ben Franklin was more like "Speak Loud, Get Wasted, and use his "Stick" on French Women." Oh yeah....
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Ris_jSarek Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/10/06 12:42am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	JaySkywalker01 posted: Chiss scientists created Alpha Red by synthesizing Kyle's urine. That takes on a whole different set of connotations when you realize who hired the Chiss in the first place. -----signature----- http://churchofbrad.com/jsarek/ Proud recipient of Halagad_Ventor's MOO (Master of Obscurity) Award, Brett_Bass's Spiffy Crown™, and Thrawn McEwok's "Ohh...? Interesting..." Award™
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Winged_Jedi Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 9/10/06 3:10am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	No, connotations are still the same for me. Kyle Katarn...urine...kills Vong. Seriously, that's an odd coincidence. JS01, you have inadvertently explained the truth of Alpha Red! The Death Star was not supposed to have any weakness. They were planning to have Kyle Katarn stand inside the exhaust shaft. -----signature----- "Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure." -Tacitus
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Ris_jSarek Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/10/06 4:19am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough... - Date Edited: 9/10/06 4:25am (1 edits total) Edited By: Ris_jSarek
	An original . . . That green flash you see when Kyle is shot isn't a shield, it's just the blaster bolts becoming envious when they realize who they're about to hit. And a distillation of my list of Chuck Norris facts, with the relevant facts replaced with the truth . . . Kyle Katarn visited the baby Obi-Wan Kenobi and gave him the gift of beard. Kyle Katarn once shot a Star Destroyer down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" In the cancelled LucasArts game "Dark Forces: Oregon Trail," Kyle's family doesn't die from cholera or dysentery, but rather from Bryar Pistol blasts and lightsaber blows. The programmers also didn't include a wagon, since he carried the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. They cancelled development when they realized that Kyle always made it to Oregon before the player. Kyle gave his soul to Darth Sidious for his rugged good looks and unparalleled combat skills. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Kyle shot Sidious in the face with his Bryar Pistol and took his soul back. Palpatine, who every so often appreciated irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. Kyle and Palpatine had a steady Sabacc game every second Wednesday of the month until Kyle let some other guy kill him. If you can see Kyle Katarn, he can see you. If you can't see Kyle Katarn, you may be only seconds away from death. Kyle Katarn once lightsabered someone so hard that his blade broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Darth Bane while he was training Darth Zannah. If you ask Kyle Katarn what time it is, he always looks at his chrono and says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he shoots you in the face with his Bryar Pistol. Kyle Katarn lost his virginity before Morgan Katarn did. Since around 22 BBY, when Kyle Katarn is believed to have been born, Bryar Pistol-related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. There are no disabled beings. Only beings who have met Kyle Katarn. Kyle Katarn is currently suing Del Rey, claiming "Legacy" and "The Force" are trademarked names for his lightsaber and Bryar Pistol. It was once believed that Kyle Katarn actually lost a fight to a Yuuzhan Vong, but that is a lie, created by Kyle Katarn himself to lure more Yuuzhan Vong to him. Yuuzhan Vong never were very smart. Kyle Katarn won at Dejarik without ever moving a piece. He simply ripped the arm off of the Wookiee that was playing against him. Winged_Jedi posted: No, connotations are still the same for me. Kyle Katarn...urine...kills Vong. Seriously, that's an odd coincidence. JS01, you have inadvertently explained the truth of Alpha Red! Well, the connotations of how the Chiss got Mr. Katarn's urine become a lot more interesting, at any rate. ;-) There was originally only one woman in the Star Wars galaxy, but Kyle decided there needed to be more so that they could pale in comparison to Jan. -----signature----- http://churchofbrad.com/jsarek/ Proud recipient of Halagad_Ventor's MOO (Master of Obscurity) Award, Brett_Bass's Spiffy Crown™, and Thrawn McEwok's "Ohh...? Interesting..." Award™
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Excellence Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 9/10/06 4:34am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough... - Date Edited: 9/10/06 5:55am (4 edits total) Edited By: Excellence
	This . . . is so not funny. shakes head Katarn's so tough . . . no shaver can handle his jaw. Katarn's so tough, his pixel hair doesn't breeze and inch. Katarn's so tough, he falls off a ledge side and just reloads. Why doesn't Jan have kids? Katarn's waiting for her sadow panties to lose a blasted a fortitude save. Why have you corrupted me with this lapdance? I'm nortoning myself before I jiggle any further. -----signature----- Rock-a-by baby, on the treetop, Beaming with pride, the filth they hold, But when the wind blows, my temper implodes, High above a pit, filled with sharkticons, Down will come hardcover addicts, beaming no more. ©
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 9/10/06 4:58am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Excellence posted: Katarn's so tough, he falls off a ledge side and just reloads. This... is so not funny, either! -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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ThrawnRocks Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 9/10/06 10:42am Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough...
	Kyle is Zonama Sekot's father. In Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast players may see a screen that says "Game Over Kyle Katarn Has Died" This however is a typo. It was supposed to say "Game Over Kyle Katarn Is Bored" The Yuuzhan Vong took Coruscant and won the first half of the war because Kyle was sleeping. No one was brave enough to wake him up. God won't let you touch Kyle Katarn Kyle Katarn doesn't need to Flow Walk, he just scares space/time. -----signature----- My Icons: http://www.powow.com/thrawnrocks/icons.html Roan Fel's badassery knows no bounds. "The next Allston book should be all Syal and Myri, all the time." - Jello
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Sarg_Kulo Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 9/10/06 12:27pm Subject: RE: Kyle Katarn is so tough... - Date Edited: 9/10/06 12:33pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Sarg_Kulo
	If there's a bright centre to the universe then it is Kyle Katarn. Kyle Katarn isn't named ofter the Bull Katarn, Bull Katarns are named after Kyle. Kyle killed them all for improper use of his name. Kyle Katarn was about to fly across the galaxy when he relised it would be quicker to run. When Anakin said he was the only human who could podrace... he lied. No one has seen Kyle Katarn more then once. The reason, he kills them the first time. Kyle Katarn has a differen't colour lightsaber for every day of the week. -----signature----- http://www.acc.umu.se/~klabbe/star_wars_joke.wmv
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