SephyCloneNo15 posted:

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I_am_darth_chewbacca posted:

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SephyCloneNo15 posted:

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The Lord Giveth; the Lord taketh away.

Kyle Giveth [pain and grievous wounds]; Kyle taketh away [life and virginity].

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One day, while fighting against a bunch of Dark Jedi, Kyle Katarn saw an Ewok that had pasted out from the heat. Kyle went over to it and gave it a long beard rub across its face. The Ewok stood up brought back to live. Kyle looked around in a shocked manner then took out his lightsaber and cut the Ewok in two. When asked why he did this he simple responded "The good Kyle giveth and the good Kyle taketh away"

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For those few moments before being cut in half, however, that Ewok was transformed Thor-like into Simon the Killer Ewok.

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Yodas-evil-twin posted:

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Being exposed to the beard for ten seconds will result in eyeballs burning, twenty seconds will cause ones brain to melt and run out of their ears, and thirty seconds will result in ones soul being destroyed, followed by their heart exploding.

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