Jedi Council Forums - The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread

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Author	Topic: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
koonfan Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/26 5:19am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread - Date Edited: 5/26 5:22am (1 edits total) Edited By: koonfan
	Well, thought I'd make another one of these things for us to laugh with or even at. Fear me. XD Just to point out some things, though... -This topic applies not only to stuff in the show, but products as well! As I'll illustrate in this opening post... -The general mood I'm gunning for is satirical and parodying, though you can also be dry and ironic -Please don't turn this into a way to debate by insulting the prequels, the pilot movie, or the series by saying a bitter, cynical thing along the lines of 'we'll never see a well-written episode'. Whether it's facts or just your opinion, these things can turn ugly and paint all involved in a rather bad light. With that in mind, let's start with something I hope to be infamous for...The Count Dooku Diplomacy Minigame! -Count Dooku selects a mission to the Bith system and views the briefing of information...- Count Dooku: Droid, present information on the Bith senators. Droid: The Bith have taken a neutral stance and do not wish to be involved in the war. However, they are in disagreement over the corruption in the Senate. Dooku: I see. Any particular issues or shameful secrets? Droid: The Bith do not agree with the creation of a clone army. The Senators do not have any recorded data of exploitable information that your spy network could retrieve. Dooku: I see...Very well. Let us begin. -On Bith!- Senator: Count Dooku, welcome. We are eager to begin some frank discussions on this war. Now, we are fully aware of the Republic's corruption, but we remain wary of the Confederacy. Are you not the aggressors in this conflicts? Dooku: (chooses the Divert The Question option) Who can rightly say who is the aggressor in any conflict, my friend? Isn't the galaxy far more complex than simple black and white? I mean (laughs) what are we, Kel Dorians? Senator: (Success) Hmm, you are correct, Count. In any case, thus far, our system has chosen to remain neutral. We dread the idea of warfare raining down upon our world. Dooku: (chooses the Persuade option) Oh, but you need not fight to make a point, senator! The galaxy deserves to know that good, faithful worlds like yours will not put up with corruption in the Senate! Don't you believe that you will be able to make a stronger point in the Confederacy? Senator 2: How can we trust Count Dooku?! He betrayed the Jedi Order! He will surely betray us, just like the Jedi whose lives were lost at Geonosis! How can you claim to come in peace, Count? Dooku: (chooses the Lie option) (feigns surprise) Wh...what? That is the news report? My friends, you are surely mistaken! We were in the midst of a peaceful negotiation to end this without bloodshed, when the Republic ambushed us with an army you were not aware of! Senator: (Success) If that is so...then...Bith will join the Confederacy. Something must be done about the Republic. However, we are peaceful protesters, count. We will not march to war. Dooku: (chooses the Threaten option) (cryptically) If I cannot count on your goodwill, my friend, I am uncertain if I can persuade my colleagues to defend your world from Republic reprisals. Senator: (Success) I...I suppose that we could spare an intelligence unit, Count...it is not as if we have much use for it... Dooku: (ends mission) Goooooood. -Count Dooku won over the Bith system!- -Count Dooku got a Bith Intelligence Unit!- -----signature----- Season 2: Preview-free since episode three! =D This is Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Adventure, not Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Angst “Only a diseased mind thinks Plo Koon is the best character."-George Lucas
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black_saber Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/26 9:38am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	I think we will never see a full scale battle in the clone wars episodes. -----signature----- "Just when I thought I was out , they push me back in." I never liked micheal Jackson and he was always a looney.
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Jango_Fettish Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 5/26 11:54am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	The live action series actually happening.
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ILuvJarJar Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/26 1:51pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread - Date Edited: 5/26 1:52pm (1 edits total) Edited By: ILuvJarJar
	Jar Jar's own spin-off. We can call and Jar Jar in friends! (co-starring little "Ani"!) Full cast: Jar Jar Little Anikan Kitster Ahsoka C-3PO and Ziro the Hutt -----signature----- ROTJ < ESB < ATOC < ANH < ROTS < TPM < TCW Star Wars Battlefront Elite Squadrons: Fall 2009 Proud President of the Salacious Crumb fanclub Star Wars>>>>>>>>My Social Life It is well worth it.....
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LawJedi Registered: Jan '09	Date Posted: 5/26 3:16pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread - Date Edited: 5/26 3:20pm (2 edits total) Edited By: LawJedi
	-Obi-Wan and Dooku shave their beards -Hutt Jedi lightsaber action -A Twilek with no lekku (removed because of tentacle cancer, of course) -R2-D2's gender reassignment surgery -Yoda sleeping in the top bunk -Jar-Jar in black face (wait...) -Wookie alopecia -Asajj Ventress using Mystic Tan products -clone femme troopers (voiced by Dee Bradley Baker) -Kitster on the Separatist Council -a Wampa on Mustafar -Ugnaught strippers -Ki-Adi Mundi walking through a really short doorway without ducking -Ahsoka ever being drinking age -Tauntauns in spacesuits -----signature----- "Retcon is your friend in Star Wars." -Dave Filoni
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DarthIktomi Registered: May '09	Date Posted: 5/26 3:46pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	a young Han Solo the Republic develop a superweapon
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Fettclone1 Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 5/26 4:54pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	Ahsoka dying in a horrible crash.
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SaberJedi2 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 5/26 5:18pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	Jango_Fettish posted: The live action series actually happening. Or any relevant characters..... -----signature----- Fanboys FINALLY in February!
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ILuvJarJar Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/26 8:10pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	black_saber posted: I think we will never see a full scale battle in the clone wars episodes. true..... -----signature----- ROTJ < ESB < ATOC < ANH < ROTS < TPM < TCW Star Wars Battlefront Elite Squadrons: Fall 2009 Proud President of the Salacious Crumb fanclub Star Wars>>>>>>>>My Social Life It is well worth it.....
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Qui-Gon_Reborn Title: Qui-Gon's Personal SWC Modsaber Registered: Dec '08	Date Posted: 5/26 9:24pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	I don't think we'll ever see an NJO era live action series. -----signature----- Twenty years ago, there was another Edward with a strange disposition and even stranger hair that the ladies swooned over. This Edward had scissors for hands, but he was much, much cooler. ------ I agree with Nat.
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koonfan Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/27 12:49am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	LawJedi posted: -Obi-Wan and Dooku shave their beards -Hutt Jedi lightsaber action -A Twilek with no lekku (removed because of tentacle cancer, of course) -R2-D2's gender reassignment surgery -Yoda sleeping in the top bunk -Jar-Jar in black face (wait...) -Wookie alopecia -Asajj Ventress using Mystic Tan products -clone femme troopers (voiced by Dee Bradley Baker) -Kitster on the Separatist Council -a Wampa on Mustafar -Ugnaught strippers -Ki-Adi Mundi walking through a really short doorway without ducking -Ahsoka ever being drinking age -Tauntauns in spacesuits Nice. -A C3PO voiced by David Hyde Pierce (Niles Crane of Frasier XD), or for that matter, anyone not Anthony Daniels -A playset of Florrum with actual acidic geysers -Hondo Ohnoka's daddy -Someone trying to rip a Kel Dor's mask off...right? XD -The Talz orchestra -General Grievous taking cough drops -Cad Bane attending elocution lessons to speak more better -The Separatists hog-tying Republic walkers with cables -Thermal exhaust ports with bulls-eyes painted on them -Yoda delivering a statement on his species -Beggar's Canyon back home, yeeeeeehaaaaaaw! And to follow up on the Diplomacy Minigame, I less-than-proudly present the General Grievous unlockable! -General Grievous enters a mission to the Trandoshans- B1: Sir, we have the data prepa- GG: GRAAAAAR! (smashes the B1) -On Kashyyyk...- Trandoshan: Now, we are undersssstanding that your Confederacy offerssss much lucrative opportunities. We are intrigued. Grievous: (chooses the Threaten Verbally option) That's right! And if you know what's good for your species and their economy, you will join us! Trandoshan: (Failure) Oooookaaaay. We will be conssssidering that threat mossst heavily. Now tell me, General. Can you give us assurance of protection from the Jeedai? Grievous: (chooses Evil Asthma Attack option) GWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA coughhackcoughcoughchokewheezehack Trandoshan: (Success) That actually soundsssss reassuring! Now, of coursssse, setting ourssssselves againsssst the Wookiees is no small feat, sssooo we shall require conssssiderable compenssssation! Grievous: (chooses the Threaten Physically option) You WORM! I will rip off your head and use your bodily fluids as paint for my bodyguards! Trandoshan: (Success) No! Nooo! NOOOOOO! Bodyguard: We do not have to put up with thisssss! We no longer require your presssence, General! Grievous: (chooses the Eliminate option) (impales the bodyguard on his lightsaber) Anyone else who wishes to protest? (Trandoshans murmur denials) -General Grievous has threatened the Trandoshans into joining the Confederacy!- -General Grievous has four new bounties on his head!- Yes, you read right. The good General has two different kinds of Threaten options. XD -----signature----- Season 2: Preview-free since episode three! =D This is Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Adventure, not Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Angst “Only a diseased mind thinks Plo Koon is the best character."-George Lucas
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Gry Sarth Title: Moderator: LACWAC Registered: Jun '99	Date Posted: 5/27 12:10pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	...real starfighters dogfighting ever again... -----signature----- If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all.
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DarthIktomi Registered: May '09	Date Posted: 5/28 10:14am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	A Rebel pilot saying "Does this remind you of anything?" when Dodonna goes over the Death Star plans. (Thanks to Matt Stover for that one!)
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koonfan Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/29 9:20am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	On an aside note, I'd like to throw out my wild theory that large scale battles are POSSIBLE, if not the entire campaign or war. You remember that the Battle of Christophsis (first engagement in the movie) was quite large but short (three minutes, which is quite formidable in a 23 or 22 minute show). Well, if they structure the episode to introduce the threat, develop the characters, then jump into the battle, they could pull it off! Of course, this is me being positive. XD Also, we shall never see (back on topic at last!)... -Vilmahr Grahrk conning Han Solo out of the Millennium Falcon....wait.... -Quinlan Vos stealthily making Jar Jar look like a Jedi...or WILL he? -A pretty trandoshan -A gun-toting, death-stick-chomping, fighter-blasting.......Ewok. -LUUUUUUUUUUURMEEEEEEEEEEEN KOOOOOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!! And a bunch of Jedi Fortune Cookies we'll likely never see (extra long for your viewing pleasure, less inspirational, more corny XD)...Be warned, it's REALLY long! MORALITY! Or the ambiguity thereof... -'What the heck. Everyone loves shades of gray.' -'Jaded spirits cannot hide the fact that there is a concrete, definite evil out there.' -'It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.' -'Life is like a box of gravity wells. You never know what you're going to get, but you know it's going to suck.' (Credit to Arawn Fenn from the series suggestion thread XD) -'Sometimes, people just die.' SATIRICAL NORMS AND TROPES! -'Never join a unit lead by a famous character.' -'No leader ever got great by just bowing to the tyranny of the minority.' -'Jailbait is not an edible material used to recapture convicts.' -'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.' (extra irony if Shatner voices a character, or any other Trek actor appears XD) -'A hero's prowess is doubled with an extra weapon in hand.' CHARACTERS! -'This Clone is different because he's the focus of today's episode.' -'He is as clumsy as he is stupid.' (Note: Kendal Ozzel actually appears in an upcoming Clone Wars comic, seeking glory and fame. Who else has to pull his fat out of the fire but the redoubtable Kit Fisto and Plo Koon XD) -'Who's the Master who won't cop out, when there's danger all about? MACE!' (following which TC Carson sings the Mace Windu equivalent of Shaft, instead of Tom Kane narrating the opening reel XD) -'The old and very wise are often the most dangerous.' (Yoda or Oppo Rancicis ) STAR WARS LINES AND PHENOMENA! Episode 4: -'This isn't the Jedi Fortune Cookie you were looking for.' -'This show can have a strong influence on the weak minded.' -'You have a bad feeling about this.' -'Shoot first, as opposed to second.' -'You can waste time with your friends later. Watch this show!' (with Admiral Yularen lecturing viewers to watch the episode XD) Episode 5: -'And you thought this remarkable smell you discovered was bad on the outside.' -'Guess nobody knows anything about women, do they?' -'Even a scoundrel can find friends to like him for who he is.' -'Search your feelings, and you will know it to be true.' -'Some deals just keep getting worse all the time.' Episode 6: -'Intensify your forward firepower before it's too late!' -'Many Bothans died to bring you this episode.' -'If it feels like a trap, and looks like a trap, it most certainly is a trap.' -'Your faith in Yo Mama is your weakness.' (Robot Chicken. ) -'A litesaber does NOT have fewer calories.' (again, Robot Chicken) -'When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.' (Yoda gets a face lift!) -----signature----- Season 2: Preview-free since episode three! =D This is Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Adventure, not Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Angst “Only a diseased mind thinks Plo Koon is the best character."-George Lucas
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LawJedi Registered: Jan '09	Date Posted: 5/29 11:29am Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	koonfan posted: -A C3PO voiced by David Hyde Pierce (Niles Crane of Frasier XD), or for that matter, anyone not Anthony Daniels -A playset of Florrum with actual acidic geysers -Hondo Ohnoka's daddy -Someone trying to rip a Kel Dor's mask off...right? XD -The Talz orchestra -General Grievous taking cough drops -Cad Bane attending elocution lessons to speak more better -The Separatists hog-tying Republic walkers with cables -Thermal exhaust ports with bulls-eyes painted on them -Yoda delivering a statement on his species -Beggar's Canyon back home, yeeeeeehaaaaaaw! -Health Inspector shuts down Dex's Diner -Season Two: Ahsoka finally gets her own Padawan! -C-3PO blinking -Wat Tambor break dancing -Oppo Rancisis wears shoes -Taun We gets her Iphone wet, has no warranty, must purchase new Iphone full price ( ) -Return of Goldie, now with cool battle scars and machine gun parts -Neimoidians running convenience stores -Jedi solve mystery of the Sith with a google search -Even Piell has depth perception -----signature----- "Retcon is your friend in Star Wars." -Dave Filoni
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koonfan Registered: Oct '08	Date Posted: 5/29 6:55pm Subject: The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread
	LawJedi posted: -Health Inspector shuts down Dex's Diner -Season Two: Ahsoka finally gets her own Padawan! -C-3PO blinking -Wat Tambor break dancing -Oppo Rancisis wears shoes -Taun We gets her Iphone wet, has no warranty, must purchase new Iphone full price ( ) -Return of Goldie, now with cool battle scars and machine gun parts -Neimoidians running convenience stores -Jedi solve mystery of the Sith with a google search -Even Piell has depth perception And a few lines from or regarding famous Jedi Council members... Even Piell: Eh, what the heck. Gimme a prosthetic. Oppo Rancicis: (drowsily) I remember in my youth when they had these holo-programs to teach us the aurebesh (alphabet). Aurek (A), they'd say.....then besh (B)....cresh (C) would usually follow... (Simpsons reference! ) (Yes, Yoda is older than him, but that's beside the point XD) Stass Allie: What do you mean you can't tell the difference between me and my sister? Agen Kolar: Well, you both just look so alike! Ki-Adi-Mundi: Hard to believe he was a murderer and not a political idealist. Kit Fisto: Ya, mon! I and I be jammin' with de foxy Twi'lek honnie, mon! Saesee Tiin: How do you fly this thing? Jedi: (on Kaminoans) Wow. I haven't seen necks that long since master...uhh....what was his name, that guy with the long neck..... Jedi 2: (deadpan) Yarael Poof. Jedi: (chuckles) Poof? Jedi 2: (unamused) He gave his life to save all of Coruscant. Jedi: (laughing) Well, yeah, but with a name like Poof... (Yay dead guy jokes!) Jedi: Remember we used to have another one of those Yoda things? Ahhhh, what was she called... Jedi 2: Yaddle. Jedi: Yeah, that's the one. What are they, anyway? (And more dead guy jokes! I'll stop now) (no Depa Bilaba jokes as mental illness is quite harsh) Shaak Ti: (on jungle planet) Ick. I can't imagine any sentient living here for years, let alone their whole lives. (TFU reference!) Plo Koon: <insert Ian McKellen reference or line> (Ian McKellen was the basis for Plo Koon's voice. XD) Mace Windu: (singing at episode's start) Who's the master who won't cop out, when there's danger all about? Council Members chime in: MACE! Mace: Ya stang right! Who's the Jedi who'd risk his neck for his brother Jedi? Council Members: MACE! Mace: Can you dig it? Who's the guy with the purple saber, whose fighting style can beat Lord Vader? Council Members: MACE! Mace: That's right, he makes anachronistic statements, dig it! And they say that this cat Mace is a bad mother- Council Members: SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Mace: I'm talkin' 'bout Mace! Council Members: Then we can dig it! Mace: He's a complicated man, but no one understands him but his...Tree Woman! (T'ra Saa reference XD) Council Members: Mace Windu! -----signature----- Season 2: Preview-free since episode three! =D This is Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Adventure, not Star-Wars-Galaxy-of-Angst “Only a diseased mind thinks Plo Koon is the best character."-George Lucas
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