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Topic:
Support Thread
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Lelila
Title: FF CR Emeritus
London ON Canada
Registered:
Jan '99
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Date Posted:
9/22/03 11:27pm
Subject:
Support Thread
- Date Edited:
2/22/06 4:50pm (3 edits total)
Edited By:
CrazyMike
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I think the recent stuff brought up in the fanfilm thread deserves it's own thread so we can share the "big bads" with one another (or even "smaller bads," or little stresses, it doesn't matter). I'm learning how important having a support system is and how much strength one can get from friends. This way we can also keep each other updated on these situations, if we feel the need, which I know I'll probably be doing when I'm in an OK mental state. I know it'll help me a lot.
So...big hugs to Janet, thank you for sharing about your grandmother. Do you get to see her often? Can she speak? Will she be starting physio when she gets out of the hospital?
In my world, I went to Toronto from Friday morning to Saturday, as I'm sure many know already. I wasn't planning on it, but after the results of the MRI came back (the cancer hasn't spread, thank goodness), I just kind of had to see him for myself. My mom's been really good at keeping me updated because she knows how important that is to me, but it's not the same thing. So I hopped on the bus a little apprehensively, faced with the dual bad of the separate parents and the illness. It was hectic, but I managed to spend time with both parents, and my youngest brother was around which made things seem much more normal. Managed to spend about 10 hours with my grandparents over the two days. Being there was difficult - things lately have been a nightmare of changing medications, homecare workers in and out, and mysterious, nasty side effects. Everyone is stressed out, frustrated, and wondering where things should go from here. My grandfather, fortunately was quite coherent most of the time I was there, and we had some one-on-one time, which I think eased my mind a little bit. Keeping together was insanely hard, but I know it's important for him to see us smiling.
-----signature-----
"For the first time, let's just allow ourselves to be whoever we are, and it'll get better, okay?"
(Garden State)
Past CR of London, ON, CAN
Toronto Episode III Line Co-ordinator
www.torontoline.ca
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Jymm_Roquand
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
9/22/03 11:41pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Actually I would agree with you Deb that having support is vital sometimes. I myself faced many tragedies seemingly simultaneously and lost a lot of myself...
It got so bad at one point I became foolish an irrational about how to handle it. Drinking was no longer a pleasure thing but a means to wash away the pain. Strange patterns of anger and depression sprung up all the time. I hated life and everything to do with it. Then last summer on my birthday I had a breakthrough. A friend of mine who i gave unrelenting support to told me that if I had not been there for her she would be gone now...funny because that was the night i was planning to let myself go...perhaps some devine intervention there. Anyway because of the return support of her and Pepper I am here still and stronger then ever. Support is vital sometimes because we can not do this on our own.
So I am appreciative of this thread and all that it entails. Remember I am here to help all of you if you need it as i would like to return the favor once blessed to me in my dear friends.
DEB I am praying for you and your family. Janet you too will be in my prayers...if I can help either of you let me know and I will see what I can do.
-----signature-----
It feels so good to cut so deep, cool metal in soft warm tissue and bleed the red life out.
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Wolf
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 12:03am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Deb i think i must have been asleep when you started this thread but you don't know how happy i am to see it.
Support is an essential thing, as the world is so big sometimes with so many problems that one person can no longer deal with it alone. When one person is down their friends should be their to supply the strength that is missing.
Janet i hope that your grandmother recovers speedly and you have our phonenumber, anytime you need to talk just phone if i'm not online and i'll give you my ear and everything else i can.
Deb, I'm right in the next room and i know i don't understand all your problems but my love for you is eternal and i'm here for you day and night when you need me for what ever you need me for. I'm your ear to listen, your shoulder to cry on, or your friend to laugh with...
This thread is a great idea, support can make the differance in someones life, No matter how foolish i comeoff sometimes i wish everyone nothing but good health and happyness almost to the point where it is not healthy.
((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))
-----signature-----
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CrazyMike
Title: FF RSA Canada- JC Collecting Forum Manager
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 4:27am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Debbie you know that I am here for you too 
I pray that everything goes well for you and your family. Janet I pray that your grandmother has a speedy recovery...
-----signature-----
You will always be in my heart Nick 
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The_Last_Warrior
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 1:28pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Excellent idea Debs.
I know I might not seem the type, but I'm around for anyone that needs to chat.
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Rabellaka
Title: FF City Rep London, ON Canada
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 2:04pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Thank you everyone for your support. I really don't know what's going on with my grandmother, my mom has a crazy work schedule with 3 jobs, and since I work nights, we never seem to catch each other at home. My grandmother has advanced alzheimers and was basicly non-verbal before, but I don't know how this will change. I'll be talking to my mom tomorrow, so I'll know more then.
-----signature-----
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Rabellaka I don't want players to feel like Luke Skywalker. I want them to feel like George Lucas - Will Wright's view on the games he makes (SimCity, Spore)
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SarahSkywalker
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 4:56pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Janet and Deb, I lost 2 grandparents within a year of each other when I was in 2nd year uni. I loved them more than anyone in the world other than my parents and it was super hard. That plus a friend turning on me and trying to turn others against me too made me a bit mental that year. Some of my friends left me alone 'cause they thought that was what I wanted, but really I needed them. So I'm here for you now in your time of crap and i hope things improve.
{{{{{{group hug}}}}}}
London guys, I miss you! Most of my friends weren't there anymore for my fifth year of uni, and you guys were a Godsend in a year that I thought I'd spend alone and without a social life. I hope I'll get to visit you again sometime.
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Jymm_Roquand
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 8:20pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
- Date Edited:
9/23/03 9:35pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
Jymm_Roquand
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Ok this is gonna seem a little selfish. But I need to make a descision about my career and where I am going in my life.
As you guys may or may not know I am at school right now studying the craft and bussiness of film. This is why I jumped onto The Fanfilm. I wanted to add the little knowledge I have accumulated.
Well I am facing graduation this year which is a good thing but I also have to move on to something else next year. Whether I go to university or a specialty school to further my education or go in search of employment in the feild, I have to make a major choice soon. And it is becoming more and more aparent that I may not make the grade when it comes to this bussiness. I fear I may lack the talent. Yes I have the passion and am accumulating the knowledge, but there is still the talent factor. I am not sure how good I am. And I hate failure...I fear it.
My dream is to direct movies, movies I love and that others can love, to make them laugh and cry and have fun. I want to supply people with the same entertainment and joy that I have when I watch. But the reality of this coming to light seems slimmer and slimmer. My attempts are terrible and rarely entertaining. When they are I often wonder whether the entertainment is forced...like a parent loving a child's drawing when they have no idea what it is.
I am worried about this. Am I pursuing something that is just gonna make me feel worse. Because there are other things I can do. I know that there are a few other jobs I can do. But I won't be acheiving my dream.
I am paranoid and sometimes lose sleep that I am following something that can never be. I don't want to give up on this though.
So I need to know from those who have seen me work, those who have seen the raw footage, how did I do? Again I do not want the comments that will make me feel good I need cold honest opinions...I need support but telling me I am good when you hated it won't help me. Most of my job is entertaining the audience and if the audience hates it then I have failed. So I need to know what you guys think...Honestly.
Again this is not to stroke my own ego...just to help me make a desicion about whether i can entertain an audience...if what I do is any good...and if I should continue...
Honestly...
Thank you
EDIT: I don't mean to steal anyone's wind. Please continue to offer support to those ahead of me. If it is easier to give my your answer in private then there is PMs and MSN.
-----signature-----
It feels so good to cut so deep, cool metal in soft warm tissue and bleed the red life out.
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The_Last_Warrior
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
9/23/03 10:52pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Ok Jymm..... here's the honest truth, as I see it. (Keep in mind I didn't see the footage, but did see some playback on the camera itself.)
You were very knowledgable about *all* technical aspects. (ie: director's line, polarization, etc.)
You had a good hand with the camera, steady motions, good intuition for zooms, etc.
You shared a natural eye for certain things. What I call, the "je ne c'est quoi". Sometimes a certain collage in the background made sense to you, and while no one can say exactly what it is, they will all admit it works well. (ie: What is it about that scene with Luke staring at the suns, with the dramatic music? Thousands of different interpretations, but all agree it's got a solemn beauty.) There were shots where you were able to incorporate things of this nature.
Regarding creativity, I didn't see you take a whole lot of initiative. Maybe it was because you were only there to help. Maybe it was because you were being respectful of Justin and co.'s vision. Maybe it was because certain people (*coughdamn Rein/Mal actorcough*) are arrogant, domineering S.O.B's. :P Only you know why, but in terms of creativity, I didn't see you *trying* to flex your creative muscles. Not a knock on you, just saying I didn't see enough to give a better opinion.
Regarding talent, again, that's an iffy situation. Are you talented? Yes. Are you talented compared to the other's in your program, I have no way of knowing, and none of us here can.
But I like the second part of your post. Deep, intraspective philosophical questions there.
Some (optimists) think to follow one's dream, no matter the outcome, is what we're all here to do. Others, (realists) believe that once the necessities of life are met, then and only then is one free to follow his dreams.
Personally, I don't know much about the filming industry. But here's what I do know. For every one Hayden, there's 1000 actors in Hollywood and around the world getting minor walk ons and one liners. Then, there's 10,000 stuggling actors behind them, holding waitering and other jobs, sustaining themselves while in pursuit of their dream. A noble endeavour, yet one without a secure future.
I guess it ultimately comes down to what kind of man you are.
I have friends that will choose the security of a government job and a pension over chasing their dreams. Nothing wrong with this. As long as the bills are getting paid, make filming a serious hobby, but still secondary to the means of providing.
Or, play it balls to the wall, pick your dream, go out there, and MAKE it happen. Talent only gets you so far.....determination gets the results.
You're the only one who can make this decision. While others (like those here) can support you, you're the one who has to make it happen. You are the master of your own destiny. You have to power to make yourself so good, the industry has no choice but to make you what you want to be.
And the bottom line is: Is it possible for you to be happy if you were to give up your dream?
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Rabellaka
Title: FF City Rep London, ON Canada
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
9/24/03 2:00am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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I haven't seen any of the footage from the weekend (nor did I see much in the way of shooting), so I can't get into the technical part of this at all.
I do have a few points though. The first is the creativity part. This takes practice. Very few "creative" people I know are just naturals. Almost everyone I've talked to, and was jealous of their creative talent, told me that it took a lot of practice and playing around to become creative with their chosen form of art. One person I could use as an example for this is Peter (maybe you can talk to him yourself this weekend...) He writes his own music for piano, and to me, it sounds amazing. I can play almost any instument I try, but I can't improvise worth beans. Peter, on the other hand,is always practicing, always playing around with sounds. I don't have the patience for that, nor the motivation. That's why I'll never be a good musician.
The second part I want to talk about is following your dream. I've had several jobs in the last 3 years, some of them just to keep me from going bankrupt, and a few as jobs I enjoyed. I've heard people say that a job isn't supposed to be supposed to be something you like, it's just a job. I pity those people. I love where I work and what I do, though I've had jobs I absolutely hated. This is one thing I've learned: if you don't like your job, everything else in your life suffers. I've also realized that if you really do have a dream, you don't give up on it. Like the wannabe actors waiting tables, keep at your dream even if it just stays at the hobby state.
And finally, don't be overly critical of yourself. it's a pitfall to many people fall into (myself included)
I hope some of this made some sort of sense and helps you a bit.
-----signature-----
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Rabellaka I don't want players to feel like Luke Skywalker. I want them to feel like George Lucas - Will Wright's view on the games he makes (SimCity, Spore)
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SarahSkywalker
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
9/24/03 10:13am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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2 things Jake said that I couldn't agree with more:
Talent only gets you so far.....determination gets the results.
Is it possible for you to be happy if you were to give up your dream?
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The_Last_Warrior
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
9/24/03 12:12pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Thank you Sarah.
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Nyla
Registered:
Apr '02
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Date Posted:
9/24/03 8:53pm
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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I just found this thread.
Huge group hug:
(((((((()))))))))))
Janet, I hope for a speedy recovery for your grandmother. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk
Deb, you'll always have my love and support whenever you need it, (and its always there even when you don't need it. )
(I miss you girls!)
I know I'm in a different city from you guys, but I'm just a pm, MSN message, or phone call away.
James, I wish I had some great and wonderful advise or wisdom, but anything that I can think of has already been said (and more eloquently stated that I would have mangaged) by Jake and Janet.
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Rabellaka
Title: FF City Rep London, ON Canada
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
9/25/03 5:53am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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here's a bit of an update about my grandmother....
she has gone for a short "walk" with help, but may never walk by herself again. The next 2 weeks are very important, as she will never improve past that point. She will be moved to a nursing home as soon as a space becomes available, however my grandfather is still under the impression that it will be temperary.
-----signature-----
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?Rabellaka I don't want players to feel like Luke Skywalker. I want them to feel like George Lucas - Will Wright's view on the games he makes (SimCity, Spore)
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SarahSkywalker
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
9/25/03 8:00am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Oh, grandma and grandpa separated, that's hard 
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Lelila
Title: FF CR Emeritus
London ON Canada
Registered:
Jan '99
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Date Posted:
9/25/03 9:26am
Subject:
RE: Support Thread
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Wow, this thread has really taken off, I didn't expect it to get this many replies. Thanks, guys.
James, as Jake says, "I guess it ultimately comes down to what kind of man you are."
Going for your dream involves great risk, and that can be really scary because it can dictate how you live your whole life. Back in the OAC days I was really torn about what do in university, I really wanted to take up singing seriously. I agonized over it for a long time, but then real life set in, I realized that I should do something that was stable, something that would lead to a more secure future... Do I regret that? Difficult to say.
Then I look at my friend Kevin and say "wow, he could have gone to school for anything he wanted, he was, and is, an amazing student" - but he chose music because that is his dream, and he's making it happen. The same risks apply to film, it's something that's really admirable, I think.
You have to make a decision that will ultimately make you happy, and not regret, that's the most important thing.
The bottom line is, as others have said, if you want it bad enough, you can MAKE it happen.
Janet, I'm glad that she's walking, although she needs help. Hopefully they'll just keep pushing her for the next few weeks to do all that she can do. That's going to be tough on your grandfather
Spoke to my mom yesterday, the doctor is recommending, for my grandfather's psychological health, that he be moved out of the house into a palliative care institution. My mom asked him what he'd rather do and he wants to stay exactly where he is, where things are familiar, even though my grandmother isn't exactly making things easy on him. So until things get worse, that's where he'll stay for the time being. My mom and aunt are still being forced to spend every single evening there, "on duty". Hopefully that will change too.
-----signature-----
"For the first time, let's just allow ourselves to be whoever we are, and it'll get better, okay?"
(Garden State)
Past CR of London, ON, CAN
Toronto Episode III Line Co-ordinator
www.torontoline.ca
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