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Author	Topic: Future Tense- a challenge
ThePariah Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 6/30/04 7:56pm Subject: RE: future tense- a challenge
	Beautiful effort, VL. -----signature----- Eternal Groveler to rhonderoo, VaderLVR64, Knight_Aragorn, Oba, & the SJRS crew Has a postcard from the Dark Side. "I suspect that most if not all the world's ills could be cured by humour transplants."--Karen Traviss TEMPORARY SET-UP!!!
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Star Wars Trivia Hostess Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 7/1/04 8:02am Subject: RE: future tense- a challenge
	PHEW! Intense! Loved the line about taking him to the Temple he will one day destroy. -----signature----- "You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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Laura_Anu Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 7/1/04 9:44am Subject: RE: future tense- a challenge
	Wow, VL! That was awesome! I didn't even notice all the "wills" after a while, because I got so into the story! -----signature----- "It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it." - Brooks Johnson Currently taking time off from the boards while I get all of my school/track stuff in order
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bobilll Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 7/1/04 11:57am Subject: RE: future tense- a challenge
	VaderLVR64 - I liked how you wove Anakin's whole story into this! The title's very clever too. And it's interesting how you used Luke as his future... it's like symbolism! ~~~~~ Ok so I finally got the courage to try my own challenge... This one here is kinda morbid, but you might enjoy it. I don't really know that much about Ta'a Chume, but from what I've gathered so far, she's supposedly really cruel. Didn't quite know which forum it belongs to, so I will post it here. Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I wish I did, though. Title: Been’th ~~~*~ Ta'a Chume was born to be great. In years to come, Ta'a will become the Queen Mother of Hapes, ruler of 63 of the richest planets in the galaxy. She will bribe, blackmail, and kill many to get what she wanted. But first, she will meet Been'th He, a mercenary smuggler from Corellia, will try and steal the valuable rainbow gems from Ta’a’s home world. Having a faulty hyperdrive, he will find himself quickly captured by the Hapans and set up for trial. As princess and future queen mother, Ta’a will be called upon to sit in on the trial. She will first notice his eyes, small and close together. His cheeks will be too scarred, his nose broken in two places. Compared to the carefully bred beautiful men of Hapes, he will be repulsive. But Ta’a will notice none of this. As the trial wore on, his face will pale, and will remind Ta’a of the mysterious albinos of Chordes. In his nervousness, he will twirl his mustache, and Ta’a will cover her mouth and giggle quietly. And with his death sentence, Ta’a will feel pity. She will accuse her mother of being barbarous and inhumane, and that night, against the current Chume’s wishes, Ta’a will go down into the prison and visit the prisoner herself. “Been’th”, he will introduce, extending a rough hand, and Ta’a will take it tentatively. He will sing poetry of her beauty, and she will fall into his trance. In later days, she will find herself confused, unable to concentrate on her diplomatic lessons. She will eat little, and sleep less. And when her mother’s mood is fair, Ta’a will find some excuse for her to postpone Been’th’s execution. “The New Age Ceremony will be held soon,” she will say. “Surely you would not taint it with death.” And in time, her mother will become suspicious. She will trick Ta’a’s bodyguards into an empty room, and through persistent persuasion that left lacerations, will find what she wanted to know. Every night, after last meal, the mistress would order all the servants and bodyguards away. Ta’a would don her finest silks, and, carrying expensive trinkets, would leave the palace ground. She would kill anyone who dares to follow. The Queen Mother will then order a tracking device to be planted into Ta’a’s clothes. To her horror, the Chume will find her daughter falling for what was commonly referred to as the “romance trick.” The prisoner, Been’th, would offer Ta’a indulgent kisses and passionate love professions. And in return, Ta’a would give him anything he asked for. Credits, jewels, and delicacies would be brought down in abundance. And when he asks for a viroblade, she will give him the best, engraved with her personal Royal Seal. Furious, the Queen Mother will severely censor her daughter’s actions and order an immediate execution for Been’th. Ta’a will beg and cry, but to no avail; the Chume will be resolute. Seeing no other way, Ta’a will spring her lover from his cell, and with him, will fly far from her home. For months, the queen mother will search desperately for her daughter. Ta’a is her only daughter, and without her, the Hapan royal line will be doomed. Finally, the two will be found on an unnamed moon in the outer rim. This time, the Hapan Queen Mother will not dare defy her daughter’s romantic wishes. Ta’a will be overjoyed, and she and her new consort will willingly return to Hapes. She will listen in disgust as the elderly court women would gossip disapprovingly of her marriage to such an unworthy man, and in fury, will have them all slowly poisoned. The princess will busy herself in showing her new husband all sixty three worlds of the sector. As she has done before, she will spoil him with the finest gifts, many rare in the entire galaxy. And he will prove to be as loving as ever. It will not be until a viro-blade was found in the Queen Mother’s chest, bearing the Chume Ta’s seal, that Ta’a will start to doubt him. Bit by bit, she will uncover the evidence. Three guards will admit to his bribery in allowing him to clean up before Ta’a’s visits to his cell. The late Chume’s assassins will be found, and in torture, will admit Been’th’s part in the crime. And two Royal Advisors will admit of their rejection for all of Ta’a’s prospecting suitors, all under Been’th’s blackmail. But when the elders recommend a quick execution, Ta’a will turn them down. As Ta’a takes on the position as the new Chume, she will start to alienate herself from her beloved consort, declining his requests for treasures and rejecting him from her bed. In the depths of the night, Ta’a Chume will take away his precious gems and silks and spices, replacing them all with cheap imitations. Using her mother’s less-than-gentle tactics, Ta’a will slowly uncover all of Been’th’s associates. Those who loosened their tongues easily will be granted a quick death; those who were obstinate will be burned alive. Eventually, Been’th will start to hear of the secret investigation, and in fear, will gather his treasures and flee the planet. But by then, Ta’a will be ready for him. She will track him for three years, and through her stealth assassins, will kill any who dare to shelter him. The families will then be convinced that Been’th that he was a murderer. The former smuggler will soon become an impoverished, wanted criminal. Charged with manslaughter on eighteen systems, Been’th will finally give up, and plead for clemency. Ta’a will allow him back to Hapes, under the false pretense that he was forgiven. The night he came back, she will bring him back to her quarters and softly sing him to sleep, as she had many times before. While he slept, the Queen will pour two drops of liquid into each of his eyes. Been’th will feel the moisture and woke up, but Ta’a, in a mellifluous voice, will tell him to keep his eyes closed. “So I can kiss your eyes,” she will purr. He will not be able to open his eyelids anyways, for they will be glued shut. Cooing softly into his ear, she will urge him follow her. “To a magnificent castle,” she will promise. She will signal the two servants to carry the pitcher of sweet juice and pail of spiced nuts after them. They will march to the top of a hill. Citizens in the streets, curious, will trail behind their Queen Mother. At the top of the hill, Ta’a Chume will have Been’th stripped, calming him with promises of sexual pleasures. She will then have sticky, sweet juices poured over his body, and grains sprinkled on top. “Magnificent jewels,” she will explain. A net wall will be dropped around the former smuggler, barricading him on all four sides. Ta’a will call from afar, urging him to follow her. Unable to open his eyes, he will run into the net wall many times. Each time, Ta’a Chume will cry out, “You are going the wrong way!” and he will turn and run the other direction- only to run into another side of the wall. As morning came, the predator birds with their powerful beaks will smell the sweet juice and tasty grains. They will slide through the netting with ease, attacking their feast. “Ta’a Chume!” he will cry. “Help me! Something is hurting me!” And while Been’th was slowly devoured to death by the birds, Ta’a Chume will laugh. She will never again allow a thieving Corellian to threaten the riches of her beloved Hapes. -----signature----- You'll have to buy him a sweater.
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lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 11/15/04 6:56am Subject: As It Will Be - Date Edited: 4/15/05 7:11am (1 edits total) Edited By: lazykbys
	I'm posting this here because a) I wrote it specifically for the challenge, and b) I haven't the faintest idea when it takes place. You will probably be able to guess how this turns out As It Will Be Though not a Jedi, I am strong in the Force. So strong, in fact, that I can see my future as it will unfold before me. In a short while, the ruffians will enter the tapcafé. They will order their usual round of drinks. They will become inebriated and start singing bawdy songs. And then one of them will start harassing the waitress in a most dishonorable way. Of course, you do not need the Force to know all this. It is simply what they have been doing every day for the past month. They do this knowing nobody has the courage to stand up to them or the strength to make them regret their ways. Today, however, I will see to it they never bother the patrons of this tapcafé again. I will stroll over to the counter, just as they begin to sing their songs. I will say, slightly louder than strictly necessary, that only a Hutt could appreciate their off-key singing. They will be stunned. They will be angry. They will be shocked that someone so small in stature could offer them such insults. One of them - the one with the shifty eyes - will ask me what I meant by that remark. His voice will have an edge to it that would send weaker-willed beings cowering. I will not, however. I will stand there, calmly, as I raise an eyebrow. "I am sorry," I will say. "I did not realize you were too . . . simple to understand. I meant to say that your singing was terrible." Then I will take a sip from my cup, taking my eyes off of him for a few seconds. This will leave me vulnerable to attack - or at least, it would, were I not strong in the Force. I will sway back as his knuckles pass by my nose, a hair's breadth away. I will smile at his astonishment, and shake my head in disapproval. "You do not want to do this," I will say. But I will not use the Force to infulence his mind, no matter how tempting it may be. For he and his friends need to be taught a lesson, and today they will have the lesson drilled into them with a minimum of fuss and the maximum of humiliation. However, at this point he will not be thus educated, and throw a second punch at my face. I will stop it effortlessly with my left hand, and twist so that he has no choice but to kneel down in submission or have his arm dislocated. I will them throw him bodily at the table where his companions are. He will hit the table with his sizable stomach, and drop to the floor whimpering in pain. He will be the lucky one, with nothing but several sore spots and a bruised ego to show for his troubles. The others . . . will not be. They will rise as one, some so forcefully their chairs will go flying backwards. Their faces will be red partly from anger, and partly from the intoxicants in their beverages. One will even draw a vibroblade. Before they can surround me, I will take a quick step forward. I will smile, and strike the one nearest me in the jaw so hard my knuckles will ache. I will then push his unconscious bulk toward the hoodlum with the knife, and deliver a sharp kick to the ribcage of the man who tried to sneak up behind me. By this time they will know they are not up against a meek bystander who has finally gathered the nerve to speak up, but a master warrior to be reckoned with. All but the most foolhardy - the ruffian with the vibroblade, of course - will have lost their will to fight. "Put the weapon down," I will say to him. "I don't want to hurt you any more than is necessary." He will not understand. He will think I said those words to avoid being slashed or stabbed. He will roar a word in an alien tongue, so vile than I will have to read books of Camaasi poetry afterwards to cleanse myself. The fight will be over in three short moves. First, I will kick the knife out of his hands with a sweeping high kick. Then I will take hold of his sleeves, sweeping his feet out from him at the same time. Lastly I will let his momentum and gravity work against him as I flip him over. He will know terror as he has never known before in the split second before he hits the floor. Then he will know only darkness as he passes out from the pain. All this I will do without breaking a sweat, for I am strong in the Force. Then I will pay for the damages and stroll out of the tapcafé, satisfied with my work. . . . and then again, maybe I will wait until tomorrow. -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 11/19/04 5:49pm Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	I wrote something in the future tense, once. It is very, very difficult, though the ones here are good and prettyful. -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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bobilll Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 11/19/04 6:33pm Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	lazykbys - I love how you make it all a premonition. Very interesting how it plays out just as if it were in present tense, but in the future. Smuggler_Shidakis - How did you handle it? I'm interested to see how people approach future tense. So far I've seen a lot here, but I'm curious to more ideas. -----signature----- You'll have to buy him a sweater.
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Amidala_Skywalker Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Jul '01	Date Posted: 11/19/04 6:39pm Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Wow, bobilll. Did you post that vignette in a story forum? It’s very good! Excellent writing! The execution sounds like something Ta’a would do. Amsie -----signature----- Amsié, Crest of Handmaidens . ___ TF.N Archive Reviewer ___ Battlestar Galactica is the new way.
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 11/20/04 7:46am Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	bobill:Well, the plot bunny struck, so I spent a whole night agonizing. The hard part was putting 'will' in every sentence without making it sound idiotic. Is there any other way to denote future tense besides 'will', BTW? -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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bobilll Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 11/20/04 6:24pm Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Amidala_Skywalker - Thanks! I think I did... it was so long ago. I was trying to get a back story on why Ta'a Chume's the way she is, especially in her attitude toward men. Smuggler_Shidakis - I was wondering that, too. I know in french there's actually a future tense for verbs... Is there one for english? I guess there's "I'm going too", but I think that would sound even wierder than "I will" if used repetitively. -----signature----- You'll have to buy him a sweater.
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lazykbys Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 11/21/04 1:58am Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Bobilll: wellll . . . It's not a premonition, actually. It's just a guy with miniscule Force ability running a fantasy through his head. You know - "I will do this and this and this (and maybe the girl will go out with me)." -----signature----- I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism you can give me. Please feel free to PM me with your comments. . by the same author (click and scroll dowwwn): http://boards.theforce.net/m/b1/17609715/r17736763
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 11/21/04 11:24am Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Here's what happened the one time I attempted this... makes face _______________ She Will Scream She'll scream. Jaina will dispatch her opponent with a sweep of her blade, and see it from the corner of her eye. The crimson 'saber will plunge through his stomach, as she watches in horror, and he'll fall to his knees. He'll drop his own weapon, the violet-white light vanishing in a snap-hiss. She'll scream and run to his side, laying him on his back. His blood will cover her black robes, but she won't notice. Tears will run down her cheeks as she sobs silently. For she will know that it is all her doing. For the first time, she will resist the darkness that binds her. "Kyp," she'll whisper, soft as a breath of wind. "Sweet Force, what have I done?" Clouded emerald orbs will regard her from half-closed eyelids. "Goddess," he'll murmur, struggling to catch breath. "I'm sorry," Jaina will cry, "I'm so sorry. Kyp . . . " Through his ragged, uneven heaves, he'll manage a weak, barely-there grin, a ghost of a smile. "Jay-I lo- I love- you-" Grief will overwhelm her. All around, the battle will rage, Jedi versus Sith, good versus evil. Death and pain will surround them, but both will be deaf to it. Jaina will turn her back on the dark that has betrayed her as he dies before her. "I love you, Kyp. I'm sorry. Forgive me," she will beg. "Forgive me." Life will drain from his body slowly, but his passage will be eased by the knowledge that the woman he loves has returned to the light. "Al...ready...have," he'll gasp in his final breath. And he'll die, in the midst destruction but at peace. The turmoil of his life will have ended at last. No longer will he have to fight, day after day, year after year. The Force will welcome him, and he will become one with it. Its comfort will envelope him, respite after weariness, healing his wounds. He will find his redemption, the forgiveness he sought throughout his life. His blood-covered face will be serene in death, and thus will pass Kyp Durron, Destroyer of Carida, the prodigal son. Jaina will let out a cry of anguish. The Jedi, those who were her friends and family, will feel her return to the light and rejoice. Jaina will take up Kyp's abandoned blade, flooded with pain but not controlled by it. Once again, the fiery amethyst brand will be used against the dark. She will battle to the death, against the very beings who she taught, who she lured away from the light. But even as she does, she will beg them, her students, to heed their teacher one last time, to renounce the evil she brought upon them in her folly. Some will have the strength. Most will not. As the light of the blue sun wanes, she will be locked in combat with her own apprentice, her prized pupil. He will resist her pleas, meeting each one with a temptation of his own. Tempted, she will be, but Kyp's dying face will fill her mind, and she will resist. In flurries of sparks, their blades will clash again and again, until both are weary. Her apprentice will make one mistake - his footing will slip only slightly, but that's all it will take. Instead of taking his arm, disabling him but leaving him alive, her blade will slash across his chest. He'll fall to the ground. With a soft 'I'm sorry,' she'll begin limping away, favoring an injured left leg. But her apprentice won't be dead yet. As he dies, he will pick up his lightsaber and lunge. Jaina will sense the attack a split-second beforehand, and the ghost of a smile will linger on her lips as the scarlet blade is driven through her heart. For she repented, and the Force will welcome her, also. Because Kyp had forgiven her. Her body will fall atop Kyp's lifeless form. From another plane she will watch, cradled in Kyp's arms. She will be held in death where she never was in life, in his loving embrace. One with each other and one with the Force, the prodigal children will watch. Leia's anguished scream will tear through the night. -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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JalendaviLady Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 11/22/04 8:14pm Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Nice one,Smuggler_Shidakis Here's a little something I came up with; AU universe, as usual. Grand Matriarch Ela My people will wonder why I have allowed this. Why I let a Darkside male of my people wander free, even if he be my own child. They have forgotten why and will continue to forget for a long time yet why the Great Matriarchs of the past were once the advisors to the Rajans under the ground, as I will never be, and not merely the leaders of our people, as I will be until the day the Maker takes me into paradise. My people know and will always know the wilder things of the world: lightning, thunder, summer gales, the power of wind and wave. There will never be a time for a long time yet when one of my children can enter a room in full honorable regalia and not be called "Witch!" or "Warlock". A gift and a curse our powers shall always remain. The Sith have tried to gain our destructive capacity, but it will always remain but an echo of the power in a true Lightning Path mage of my people. My people see into the maelstrom of wind and rain. I see into the maelstrom of the Force, where the Jedi will never see anything but vague potentials until the future will be now. I am Great Matriarch Ela, leader of a foundering people, and I will see the Maker's weaving until the day I leave this world. This impetuous Lightning Path child, so barely come into his powers that the Force has scarcely told him his Path, will wreck all he touches. That is not hard to see coming, for my own father carved a swath of destruction through the Unknown Regions that will not heal for another generation at the least. The destruction will be the tilling that mixes the fertilizer of new ideas into the weary soil of a galaxy that has not changed in far too long. The world will stagnate, or wither and bloom again in a new spring. There will be children of his line, strong bold children to make any Matriarch proud of her people anew, and they will see the wrongness and fight it. One will fall into death, another into shadows. There will be a girl, strong and bold as Ancestress Rana called the Wolf, and she will rise as Matriarch of a tiny band of her close kin, and be listened to by the others of her rank and honored by them even in her youth. There will be a son, Wind Path and mistreated from the first breath of air to cross his lips. There will be others... so many others... Cloning, that strange science that makes the Force-strong uneasy in its presence, will bring our world to its knees. The Sith will rise to new power, and fall into non-existance. The Lightside peoples of this galaxy will begin to rise into a new golden age. The children of my people and the Rajan's blood, bound together since times of old, will change the fates of the world. After that, all is mist and fog even for me. I must choose between the hope of new beginnings or a slow descent into an apathy that will even color the Force, the risk of falling into darkness or the surety of a slow drift from the Light. I have chosen. May the Maker have mercy on me if I am wrong. And may he have mercy on Palpatine if he dares show his face in a meeting of his mother's people ever again. -----signature----- Yes, I'm maybe possibly back. Hold Your Head High (pre-TPM OC vignette) http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28694279/p1/?0 Signs of Life, Chapter 37 now up http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15114788
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bobilll Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 11/26/04 8:57am Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	lazybys - hehe, that's cute! smuggler - I love how you manipulated the future tense in this one to add to the creepiness of Jaina's death/murder! Jalendavilady - That's pretty interesting, how the AU setting was manipulated. Love the catchy first line! -----signature----- You'll have to buy him a sweater.
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Smuggler_Shidakis Registered: Jul '04	Date Posted: 11/26/04 10:10am Subject: RE: Future Tense- a challenge
	Thank you. -----signature----- K/J = Dark Lady of the JCC \| Master to Darth-Wanderguard Adopter of Rosh_Penin Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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