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Topic:
Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Obi_J_Kenobi
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
7/29 6:35am
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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nightwatch was about a kid(ewan) who takes a job at a morgue. I don't remember the story line, as i saw it a long time ago, but it was a dump.
Ill add a movie called, "The Outpost" all about some un dead Nazis haunting an abandoned WWII outpost. Don't ask me why I got it, the things we do at walmart late at night.
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"I have a bad feeling about this..."- Juno Eclipse
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StarBlazerM31
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
7/29 8:12am
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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hyperspace_police posted:
Nightwatch... Is that the one with the dead girls and at the end some guy cuts his hand off or something like that to get out of handcuffs???
Yeah, that's the one.
A serial killer was killing...girls of ill repute, and Ewan's character was working at the morgue they were all brought to (and somehow being blamed for the murders). Nick Nolte was the bad guy in that movie. But yeah...that movie was horrible.
-Darth Grace 
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
7/29 11:35am
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
- Date Edited:
7/29 11:38am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Qui-Gon Tim
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Yeah, that one was pretty freakin' bad.
I watched The Tulse Luper Suitcases. All three parts. Nine hours. They were written and directed by Peter Greenaway, the director who brought us The Pillow Book and Prospero's Books.
I can't decide if I like them or not, but Greenaway has a way of telling a story in nine hours that could be told in two. In other words, I think I need to have my meds adjusted for watching it in the first place.
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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Commander Antilles
Title: Administrator Emeritus
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
7/29 12:49pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117989391.html?categoryid=13&cs=1
This.
You don't need to see something or even wait for filming to finish before knowing it's going to be an horrific crash and burn.
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Beer is the answer.....but I can't remember the question
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
7/29 1:59pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Oh, nuuuuuuuuh-uuuuuuuuuh! Why in the high holy hell would they they even dare think that Rocky Horror needs a remake?
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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TNPredsFan
Title: FF Chapter Rep
Memphis, TN
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
7/29 2:07pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Because there are no original ideas left in Hollywood. We must remake every movie, TV show, children's toy, book, and video game into a movie.
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"I hate it when people I hate make sense." - Jarael, KotOR
"In...women courage is often mistaken for insanity. " - Iron Jawed Angels
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
7/29 2:30pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Broadway's going the same route: We now have musical versions of Legally Blond and Happy Days. What next? Deliverance: The Musical?
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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StarBlazerM31
Registered:
Jan '05
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Date Posted:
7/30 10:53am
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Well, they did make Evil Dead into a musical. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And I heard they are wanting to remake The Princess Bride. Can there be no greater travesdy?! It's absolutely PERFECT the way it is!!!
-Darth Grace
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
7/30 1:12pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Somebody stop the remake madness!
Don't you just love it when they remake a movie that was already perfect? There have been two Steve Martin movies that fall into this category: Father of the Bride and The Pink Panther. Granted, I am a big fan of Steve Martin, but these movies just didn't need to be remade.
The Hollywood studio machine is completely out of original ideas. You have to look to independent features for originality now. It's not surprising, though, especially since the film industry has become a bastion of investors seeking to make a return on their capital instead of a creative haven.
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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hyperspace_police
Title: FanForce CR
Arkansas US
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
7/30 4:00pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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It's a little gem called "Big Jim McClain"
Watched it once for a paper...
And yes, there are no original ideas... Just semi-original ideas for re-hashing things that were fine before they touched them... They're like DelRey... Just out for our pocketbook contents...
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We managed it with the power of "assless chaps"... Oh yes... that one is a direct quote from myself...
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IrishThunder
Registered:
Jul '01
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Date Posted:
8/18 3:04pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Barry Lyndon
Kubrick was a genius but for some reason, I hated that movie
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There are 3 kinds of people in this world... Suspicious Mind Trick http://www.suspiciousmindtrick.net http://www.ziggythecat.com
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
9/2 7:37pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Speaking of Kubrick, Dale, here's another of his that just sucked out loud:
Eyes Wide Shut
Somehow this stinkeroo even managed to make full-frontal female nudity boring.
Let me repeat that for effect:
It made full-frontal female nudity boring!!!!
I didn't think that was possible. Well, perhaps with the exception of some of the after-dark fare on SkinaMax, but Kubrick even made "kinky" sex scenes dull and lifeless. I mean, even Caligula had some merit, but they had Gore Vidal's script and Bob Guccioni's sleaze to make it interesting. Kubrick, however, had neither, and the result is painfully obvious. So, what we were stuck with was a droll movie with two people- who, by the way, were married to each other at the time- who had no chemistry whatsoever running around trying to get their jollies by seeking a masked sex cult that obviously forget to pick up a copy of "Masked Sleazy Sex Cults for Dummies". (Or at least an Anne Rice novel or three. You know the ones! And don't pretend you don't!  )
And then there was the music score that was so repetitive that Philip Glass called me up and said, "Hey, Tim, it's Philip. Click over to HBO right now. Eyes Wide Shut is on. You there yet? Good. You hear that music? Man, isn't that just so freakin' repetitive that you want to find out who did it, hunt them down, and stab them in the eye with a conductor's baton? See what I mean? Exactly! Annoying as hell! Well, I gotta run. I just found my conductor's baton in the bottom drawer of my bureau and I have a few errands to run. See you next Tuesday for Badminton." (Philip and I don't play Badminton together anymore since he hurt his hand in some bizarre incident involving a conductor's baton. I could never get a straight answer from him on how it happened.)
Oh, Clorox... Why don't you make brain bleach?
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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Commander Antilles
Title: Administrator Emeritus
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
9/3 2:13pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Can we add Armageddon to the list? Just watching the first few minutes of this a few days ago nearly sent me into "Hulk Smash" mode.
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Beer is the answer.....but I can't remember the question
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Qui-Gon Tim
Title: CR Emeritus: Memphis, TN
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
9/3 4:04pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Dang, Ben... You just had to bring up that sorry excuse for a film, didn't you?
Armageddon was so bad that the cast of Showgirls sent it a sympathy card. Not that Armageddon's big rival at the time, Deep Impact, was any better, though.
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Inked Monkey Productions: http://www.inkedmonkey.com Official Sergeant-At-Arms and Token Deliah Blue Fanboy of the Cade Brigade Once you go Blue, you never go back!
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Commander Antilles
Title: Administrator Emeritus
Registered:
Jul '99
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Date Posted:
9/3 11:28pm
Subject:
RE: Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: The Absolutely, Obscenely Awful Movie and TV Thread
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Well, Deep Impact did have Morgan Freeman. Even though he plays the same role in. every. single. film!!
And the impact sequence itself was pretty good.
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Beer is the answer.....but I can't remember the question
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