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Author	Topic: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic 22/03/04 NEW POST UPDATED
Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/16/03 12:40am Subject: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic 22/03/04 NEW POST UPDATED - Date Edited: 3/22/04 2:18am (27 edits total) Edited By: Rogue_of-Peace
	This fic was recently added last Christmas, and I've decided to move it here, post by post, day by day, since the boards have splitted, which will allow me to hopefully gain new readers and fix some dreadful spelling errors. ::cringes:: The original thread can be found here, but it will be locked so please post any thoughts, queries and reviews here. So welcome (for some of you, again) to Return of Empathy, enjoy, and please reply! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Return of Empathy Disclaimer: Various names, settings, and ideas do not belong to me. I do not know exactly who they belong to, but since I’m not making money out of this, they don’t need to care what happens. DRAMATIS PERSONAE: Jacen Solo; ex-Jedi (male human) Vergere; ex-Jedi (female Fosh) Leia Organa Solo; Republic ambassador (female human) Han Solo; captain, Millennium Falcon (male human) Luke Skywalker; Jedi Master (male human) Mara Jade Skywalker; Jedi Master (female human) Jaina Solo; Jedi Knight (female human) Tahiri Veila; Jedi Knight (female human) Jagged Fel; Twin Suns pilot (male human) Kyp Durron; Jedi Master (male human) Tenel Ka; Jedi Knight, Queen of the Hapes Cluster (female human) In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream, Alien, Alan Dean Foster Fear shot through his system, circulating through his veins and arteries until it permeated through his skin. Smelling this fear, predators now circled their prey, striking out. “Traitor!” Unknown shades ripped and teared through his soul, “Blasphemer! Heretic!!” “You disappoint me, my apprentice,” Suffering gripped his body still, as the voices became horribly known. "with all your talk, still you managed to turn against me, to wallow in Darkness,” A grief broken woman turned her attention to the victim, “How could you?! How could you kill my son?! Your BROTHER!!” “You disgust me,” a drunken voice radiated from the darkness drawled, “it’s hard to believe that you’re my son, a worthless body of life like you.” “They succeeded with you where they failed with me.” Confusion emanated from him until he perceived that it was the scarred girl talking, and dread fell upon him to sink into the soles of his feet, into his soul, “you’ve sided with those who killed my love, and you will not be forgiven.” “Look who’s laughing now, my friend,” a voice which usually made his heart sing instead filled it with sorrow and pain. “You are nothing to me, nothing but a joke.” The irony that ran through his mind did not miss him. Rage flared from behind, burning to the heart of his soul. “You never cared about him. You left him to die. I also lost another brother that day: the enemy molded him to their vision, all but his body dead. You are no longer my brother, my other half. You are a monster, that must be smitten!” A shaft of purple light rose from the figure, poised to strike..... With a start, Jacen Solo wakes, skin glistening with sweat. Breathing was hard and fast, heart pumping furiously. His head buzzed with battle-ready adrenaline. His body shook with what had just occurred. --------------------------------------------------- “Are you ok?” Vergere, enigmatic alien of mystery, asked as Jacen walked into the cockpit. “Yeah, just another bad dream,” replied Jacen, yawning with sleep lost. “I thought Jedi do not dream?” a mocking voice questioned. Jacen grinned at her, although resignedly, and answered, “’There are no Jedi here’, isn’t that what you told me?” An expression of thought manifested upon the alien’s face. “Indeed I did, my student. Indeed we are no longer Jedi.” Jacen stared at her expectantly, knowing a lesson was upon him. “Very well, then. Dreams are sometimes a reaction to the emotions of the subconscious mind. They create a ‘visual’ metaphor of the emotion and especially the reasons behind the emotion. Since Jedi must be forever calm and in control of their emotions, they have no such subconscious emotions to produce dreams of self awareness.” She let Jacen ponder about this for some time, and stated, “You are afraid of your family, fearing and hating what you have become,” She leaned in closer and whispered, “Remember, Jacen, I was just your guide through the lands of the dead. Here in Life, I can not dictate or show you the path you will take. Always remember what you have learnt: Choose, and act.” She then went to check on the navigation of the coral craft, a living creature created by the Yuuzhan Vong as transport units through the coldness of space. Originally, this craft had belonged to Nom Anor, an Executer of the Yuuzhan Vong who appeared long before the main invasion force arrived. He was in charge of shaping Jacen into an Avatar of the Yuuzhan Vong god Yun-Yammka. But Vergere tricked and manipulated Nom Anor into revealing his secret ‘get-away’ ship, and with Jacen befriending the living craft, he turned over the controls to Vergere. They had just been travelling slowly through the lesser known space lanes, with no set destination. Once again, Vergere gave Jacen the role of navigator, but she took care of the piloting and the maintenance of the ship, leaving Jacen with more time to rest. More time to dwell on this past year. More time to decide what to do now. Now was the time to choose, to act, to ‘do or do not’. Time to face his fears, and return to a place of potential darkness and terror and uncertainty. Time to go ‘home’. You can never go home again. - Bill Bryson ------------------------------------- -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/16/03 2:55am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: 1ST POST; Revised Edition
	Looking good, Rogue. Your spelling's actually pretty good so don't put yourself down. At least you don't spell colour - color! I'm still unsure what to do with my stories - procrastinating about making a decision as usual! Anyway - looking forward to your edits. -----signature----- "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/16/03 3:29am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: 1ST POST; Revised Edition
	You don't understand: for the first 5 posts I spelt "Yuuzhan" "Yuzzhan"!!! [/over-dramatic] Mostly spelling edits, the plot and characterisation seem solid. -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/16/03 10:39pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: 1ST POST; Revised Edition - Date Edited: 3/16/03 10:44pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Rogue_of-Peace
	Second post coming up: Anyone else out there? ------------------------------------- Hope is definitely not the same as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Václav Havel ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the nothingness that was hyperspace, a lone bubble existed. The nothingness around it transformed into the coldness of space, nothing but darkness and the non-twinkling of lights that were other distant systems around the bubble. A mother, who was once a princess, looked out of the seemingly derelict ship that had been contained within the bubble. A mother, who was once, and still remains, the embodiment of hope. A father, who was once a smuggler, was fixing the hyperdrive with its constant and consistent failures, making the act of a derelict into a reality. A father, who once protected hope, who quitted over grief, was now the comfort of hope. Their children were once Jedi Knights. All specialised in different aspects of their talents, yet all drawing on the same strength. They were the children of hope, and therefore emanated this hope to embrace their surroundings. Hope, was thought to be invincible. Then hope died. Not once, but twice. Hope also was lost. The brightest star had burnt out. The light of hope was plunged into darkness. Hope’s warmth buckled under the cold of despair. But the star of hope became a symbol, and while his actions are no longer threaded by living flesh, he now influences hearts with hope. Through the help of the Guide of Hope and Hope’s Friend, despair’s shackles were lifted, and the fire of hope was rekindled. Hope was reborn. It had been remolded, changed, and had experienced many harsh realities. He had been changed from the hope of victory, to that of peace. -------------------------------------------- Leia Organa Solo was sitting at the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, which was once know as “the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy”. Sleep nearly overtook her: recently the ambassador was on a diplomatic mission to gather resources and alliances from planets to help fight against the Yuuzhan Vong. Han was at the back fixing the hyperdrive after a narrow escape from coral skippers damaged the hyperdrive system. A twinge in the Force made Leia jump to full alertness. She sensed a presence that she was familiar with, but wasn’t significant enough to recognize. The presence grew more pronounced, until.... “Jacen!” “Hello Mum.” -------------------------------------------- “Damn this wretched machinery,” Han grumbled. ZAP! “Ow! Okay, I’m sorry, sheesh.” as he receives a shock. Han wished Chewier was here: he was always better with the wiring system of the Millennium Falcon. “There! That’ll work until we get back to base.” He started to head to the refresher to wash his hands when... “Jacen!” Fearing the worst, Han dashed to the cockpit. His expression grim, he reached Leia and found her face glistening with tears, yet they were tears of joy and of relief. “He’s alive, Han, Jacen lives!” “What? Jacen’s alive?!” laying one of his greasy hands upon Leia’s fair hand. “Yes Dad, I’ve pulled a Horn” Although Han was shocked at “hearing” Jacen’s disembodied voice, he was amused, as he remembered the multiple times that Corral Horn was suspected to have died, and later was revealed to have dodged death. “Jacen, are you all right?” Leia’s maternal instincts double checking what she knew. “I’m... alive. Lets just keep it at that.” Leia frowned at this, sensing although physically he was well, something troubled his mind and spirit. Han was now adjusted to talking into thin air. “So now that we’ve heard from you, will we get to see you soon? Or do we have to wait another year for that... Ouch!” as he is kicked by Leia. Jacen’s “voice” lined with amusement, he responded, “We’ve been wandering through space, being left out of the loop of where to go now.” Leia listed off a set of co-ordinates to the Star Destroyers Rebel Dream and Mon Mothma , where the command system currently was held until they reached a planet suitable for setting up a base. “We’ll be there in two hours, if Han managed to fix the hyperdrive for once.” While Han shot her with a wounded look, Jacen replied, “It’ll take us at least eight hours. Oh, and you might wanna warn whoever's in charge that we are coming in on an unarmed commandeered coral craft, so that we’re not shot at, and perhaps to keep things as privately as possible. Also....” Jacen hesitated, then took the plunge. Don’t tell Jaina about me, especially if she’s on a mission.” “Wait a second.... why not?! And who’s ‘We’?” as realisation settled in. But Jacen’s presence withdrew before he would answer. “Don’t worry, Princess. Whatever has happened to Jacen, whatever he’s not telling us, at least he’s alive, and we’ll be together again in eight hours.” Han reassured Leia, running his hand through her hair. “You’re right Han... Hey! You’ve gotten grease all through my hair!” Sheepishly, he threw her his patented Solo grin, and said, “Oops, sorry dear. I guess we’ll have to freshen up together then,” drawing Leia in for a kiss. -------------------------------------------- Hope is a waking dream. Aristotle -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/17/03 4:17am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 17/03/03; Revised Edition
	Golly - I didn't notice the Yuzzhan business! Anyway it doesn't detract from the story. It's funny how you and I hear Jacen and Anakin calling their mother Mum rather than Mom. Good post. -----signature----- "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/21/03 6:40pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 17/03/03; Revised Edition
	Wah! I came here to get MORE readers, not lose them! Here's the next part anyway.... -------------------------------------------- "What?! Jacen’s alive, you say?!" skepticism rang through the hangar of the Rebel Dream , resonating through the empty room. Leia sighed. General Antilles had replied in almost exactly the same manner. It was no secret that only Leia felt that Jacen was alive during the past months. As time went on she stopped correcting people as they consolidated her on the loss of her sons. She had almost lost faith herself until Jacen had contacted her. But Wedge had ordered the least used area of the hangar to be cleared of ships and maintenance staff. Wedge trusted Leia enough that there was no security around, believing that if the Vong craft was as small as Leia thought, that three Jedi and Han Solo could handle any potential enemies. (It helped that Han was wearing a don’t-argue-with-her expression behind her back.) "Yes, Mara, I felt Jacen’s presence. I talked to him." Mara Jade, and her husband, the renowned Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, exchanged a worried expression. Both of them had felt Jacen’s pain, then no longer felt his presence. This feeling was confirmed by Kyp Durron and many of the survivors of the Jedi Strike Force. But Jaina, who would’ve been the more accurate and definite opinion had cut off the twin bond link during her stint of the Dark Side, and didn’t feel any pain or other sign of death, but knew the other survivors had felt it. Leia was adamant that the pain felt did not indicate his death, and was believed delusional after losing both Anakin and Jacen on the same day. Luke and Mara feared this delusion was becoming greater than before. "Are you sure he’s alive?" Luke asked. "I can’t feel his presence now, and we felt his death nearly a year ago." He stated. "I felt him alive, and he confirmed it when he spoke to me." Mara questioned, "You sure it was him? A powerful darksider, like that Lomi Ploon from the Shadow Academy that the children encountered on Mykr, could’ve muddled your senses and tricked you into revealing our location." Leia looked at her darkly. "When it comes to my children, my senses are flawless. " Mara flinched and clutched Ben, her baby son, closer to her breast as she realised that the connection she and Ben had was the same she had with all her children. "I may have lost my touch while busy trying to hold the New Republic together, I have spent many years training and teaching with the children. I sensed Anakin’s death. I sensed Jacen’s pain, though it did not resolve in death. And I sensed his life: battered yet prominent." "And I’ve heard him too." Han had just finished the final repairs to the Millennium Falcon, and had heard Mara’s question and Leia’s response. "And before you ask how and why, and if I could’ve been hoodwinked too, how many people would know the term: "pulled a Horn?" Yeah, that’s what I thought." Seeing the expression on Luke’s face. At a Rogue Squadron reunion where Rogues, old and new, and guests including Wraith Squadron members and Han and Captain Onoma were reminiscing old times. When Hobbie Klivian started choking on some Bantha steak fat, after Wes Janson helped him cough it up, the joker commented: "You’ve pulled a Horn!" A great roar of laughter resounded around. Needless to say, Corran was not amused. "Well, if he is alive, why hasn’t he contacted me?" Luke wondered. "For whatever reason, Kid, he told us not to tell Jaina, especially if she was on a mission, so she hasn’t heard from him either. He sounded weary and sad, yet anxious to actually see us." "He didn’t seem ill physically, but I’m certain something troubles his mind and spirit." Leia commented. "What else could’ve happened to him during his captivity amongst the Yuuzhan Vong?" She was holding Ben as tightly as possible without hurting him, thinking what might’ve happened to him had Viqi Shesh managed to kidnapped him. Ever since that incident, Mara has struggled to ensure his safety, no matter what costs. "We may find out shortly," Luke said softly. "Forgive me, Leia. You were right: Jacen is alive, and he’s coming home." He was looking out towards space, where a lone Yuuzhan Vong coral craft had just appeared into view. Within the void of the rock, was a potent presence felt through the Force. -------------------------------------- You read this, you post. PLEASE! It's lonely in here.... -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/23/03 3:03pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 22/03/03
	Lovely stuff Rogue. Great evocations - quite stirring. Yes - I know what you mean about these new boards - they are a bit slow. I think we just have to be patient - until people get used to them, they probably will be slow. I've just moved my stories here, and am going through the same waiting process! -----signature----- "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/23/03 10:11pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 22/03/03
	::sigh:: At least there's one positive new thing I've noticed: Lots of new J/TK fics! Less J/J/K fics! Less Anak... ::coughs:: No Anakin/Amidala fics!! New post........now. -------------------------------------- The hero returned from the lands of the dead. As true heroes do, he returned with supernatural gifts: gifts that were always his nature, now transcending their mortal limits. He came forth as an infant: nameless, weak, and squalling. He faced the task of all returning heroes: to master the forces that had created him. In other words: to grow up. Blade of Tyshalle, Matthew Woodring Stover ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The coral craft cruised into the hangar without a sound: an improvement on the mechanical counterparts of the New Republic and the Imperial Remnant with the near- deafening tone of their engines. The craft landed without incident: a non-dramatic entrance for a dramatic encounter. As the craft settled onto the deck, a flab of coral peeled off to form a ramp. Spikes of coral protruded to form a stand and support it and stop it from moving. Try as they might, the people waiting outside could not identify the figure in the cockpit. At the top of the ramp stood a persona of an unrecognisable nature. The figure was clothed in a long, flowing, black robe with intricate designs flowing and glowing all around the writhing cloth. A surplice of religious white, glowing with its own design, was draped over the robe. The exposed arms and legs were of a pale and sickly colour: no fat remained, practically pure muscle. Beneath the untidy, rough beard hid a sharp face also deprived of fat. It was the scruffy brown hair and equally brown eyes, an image belonging also to another, that revealed the identity of the persona. Luke was stunned at the changes that had been brought about Jacen, as Jacen gazed across the hangar with a solemn look finally settling down upon the group below. Where is the child that pulled pranks, the teenager who questioned life? Who is this adult that has replaced him? Then the adult’s face broke into a smile and yelled, "Mum, Dad!" Ahh… there he is… Jacen ran down the living ramp and threw himself into the embracing group that awaited him. Mixed cries of laughter and relief and "Jacen!" resounded around the empty hangar. Luke was shocked to notice that Jacen’s face had risen since he last looked upon it. Now his head tilted back to look upon Jacen’s face. "I’m sorry, Jacen, I thought you were dead, I should have sent people looking for you." The cheerful face quickly grew somber. "For all purposes, during my time with the Yuuzhan Vong, I was dead." "How did you escape?" questioned Mara. "I had some help and advice from my guide. Let me introduce you to my guide through the lands of the dead." The avian creature known as Vergere hopped her way down the living ramp. FLASH Jacen had watched the adults very carefully to check their reactions. When he saw his father drawing and firing his blaster, he was shocked: not at the fact that had fired at her, that he had expected; what he was shocked at was the speed. He had heard of his father’s quick draw but never seen it in action. Vergere deflected the bolt with a wave of her feathery hand and said "I see the Correllian form of gratitude hasn’t changed in fifty years." Sheepishly, Han lowered his gun into its holster and replied, "Er, sorry…. force of habit." "Has the galaxy been that treacherous? Anyway, I wasn’t expecting any." Luke stared at her in a new light. "You’re a Jedi…" he whispered. Vergere responded, "I was a Jedi Knight of the Republic. I have been among the Yuuzhan Vong for nearly fifty years." "How have you survived?" Mara wondered. "That tale will be saved for a more appropriate moment. Jacen has more pressing matters to announce to you." ----------------------------------------- “You want to tell us about what’s happened to you, Jacen?” Luke asked. “Yes, Uncle Luke, there’s some information you should know. There’s some information you need to know.” Jacen said ferhemently But I would be unable to tell you.” he said sadly. Han demanded in a gentle tone, “Why not?” Here Jacen smiled nostalgically. “Everything I would tell you would be a lie. The truth will always be greater than the words used to describe it.” “Will you ever be able to tell us?” wondered Leia. “Tell you? Never, not in my lifetime. But perhaps...” Jacen faltered. “Perhaps I could show you.” “Show us?” Mara was confused. “I can share my feelings, emotions and experiences with you. All of you,” looking at Han, who was wearing an incredulous expression. “But I warn you, my experiences are not to be undertaken lightly.” The adults shared a concerned glance, and nodded. “Hold hands - Aunt Mara, let me take Ben,” Jacen took Ben, gave him a quick, comforting hug. As an afterthought, he put a variety of shields around Ben before giving him to Vergere: he trusted her with his life, he didn’t trust her with Ben’s. He took one of his father’s rough hands and one of his aunt’s lean hands. He reached into himself, deep inside his chest, into the void, where the slave-seed no longer resides. He reached, and poured all of himself into them, and all of them, into himself. He finds cinders of thirst that bake his throat, wire-stretched ligaments that sizzle within his shoulders, bubbling tongues of acid hungrily lick his nerves, lightning blue shocks that spasm his body into convulsion. Han was no stranger to pain: he had faced crude and cruel beatings with Garris Shrike; professional, cold torture at the hands of Darth Vader himself; and the mystical bone-breakings when held in the grasp of the Nightsister Gethzerion; and more recently the emotional pains of the crippling grief over Chewbacca and the enraging reaction to Anakin’s death. But he was shocked at the intensity of the torture, yet proud at the way his son must have handled himself. He had taken every respite from the pain to minister to his fellow slaves. He didn’t have real medical training but his exotic life-form collection had taught him some basics of exobiology, and in his adventures he had garnered a working knowledge of field surgery. Leia was astonished at Jacen’s resilience to pain now, yet proud at how he was striving to heal and to protect the fellow slaves, despite the situation, and isolation he was under. He sat on the mossy ledge above the jungle. Flashes of bioluminescence chased each other in jagged streaks of blue-green and vivid yellow. The Bridge was impossibly bright, the colours themselves shimmered and shifted. It cast a glow over the nightscape brighter, softer, more diffuse, than any conjunction of Coruscant’s moons ever had. Luke was devastated at how much change had occurred upon Coruscant in only a few months since his mission against Lord Nyax. He now knew there was no chance of reverting the planet back to it’s former state. He faced them without slightest appearance of concern. “What signifies this interruption?” he intoned in the rolling thunder of his Avatar-of-God voice. “Your concern is an insult, ” with magnificent arrogance. “Nothing can occur that is not My Will. If these creatures slept, it is because I made it so!” Mara surveyed this with a practiced eye. She had seen many rulers and leaders in the prime of their command: Emperor Palpatine, cold and malicious; Grand Admiral Thrawn, calculating and intellectual; Leia, strong, uncorruptable; and Borsk, powerhungry parasite. But while Jaina’s Goddess act was for show and unintimidating within the base on Borleias, Jacen’s Avatar act, a show for the Yuuzhan Vong, was fearsome, and Mara imagined that this would’ve been the Jacen Solo if he had been born under Imperial Rule. Mean while, Jacen was experiencing their recent lives, for he could not share his experiences without embracing theirs, for they were One. He experienced Han’s rage over Anakin’s death, yet was glad at Han’s vow of comforting his mother. He experienced Leia’s unrelenting belief that he was still alive, and felt gratitude when she never faltered. He experienced Luke’s despair of nearly losing his son to Viqi Shesh, and he experienced Mara’s grief of having to send her son away to protect Ben. The visions ended as quickly as they appeared. Sweat glistened on their faces, and each of them felt and looked as if they had aged an extra ten years. On some faces sweat wasn’t the only thing glistening. “Oh Jacen, Jacen, I’m sorry, so sorry,” wept Leia, tears running down her face. Once again she threw her arms around Jacen’s neck and embraced him. Over her shoulder Jacen viewed his father’s stone-set face, the same face he wore at Chewie’s funeral. He viewed his uncle’s grim face of sorrow, and his aunt’s mask of cold, distant, gaze. “I’m sorry, too,” He responded, “sorry that so far pain is still necessary to teach.” Luke faced Jacen and said, “We haven’t learnt much that we had not already known.” At this, although the expression was kept off Jacen’s face, hopefulness fell. “We need to hear your words, your story.” Jacen’s face set, he turned away from his uncle out towards space. “Fine then, if you prefer deceptions.” There was silence, then he simply said, “Jaina has returned.” Out in the reaches of space, a squadron of X-Wings flew towards the Star Destroyer, landing at the far edge of the hangar. “I must see her.” again he simply stated, and ran off down the hangar. “We’ll wait here!” yelled Han as the figure shrank into the distance to be reunited with his twin. --------------------------------- -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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rogue11lovesjag Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/24/03 6:14am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 24/03/03
	YEAH!!! AWESOME!! And we're sure you're not Matt Stover? ~Rogue -----signature----- Carrolé, Handmaiden of the Crest! Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to hide the bodies of everyone who ruins my ships.
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/24/03 11:31am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 24/03/03
	Thanx rogue! Lets see, am I MWS? I live in NZ, am 16 years old, still in high school/ college. I don't think so. You might not be convinced when I get to one of the one vs one fights, as I will draw inspiration from the great man, as I do with his writing (see quote above post). -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/25/03 12:42am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 24/03/03 - Date Edited: 3/28/03 4:08am (1 edits total) Edited By: Rogue_of-Peace
	I've been lazy, haven't been writing as much as I should.... Here's the next bit. --------------------------------------- Twelve starfighters landed after a scouting mission to find a safe route for the Star Destroyers to pass through. The squadron known as Twin Suns had run into some dovin basal mines, along with a battle freighter, which released it’s own squadron of coralskippers. Combat commenced, and the coralskippers were annihilated. The New Republic now had the tactics needed to defeat them on a one-on-one ratio: shield sharing; co-ordinated shooting; and use of the Force Meld between Jedi pilots. Only one ‘skipper remained, who retreated towards the freighter as more freighters, jumping in from hyperspace, appeared. Twin Suns retreated, and returned back to Rebel Dream. Mechanics and medics rushed in for emergency care, but they didn’t need to have bothered, having only suffered depleted shields and ammo, and some singed metal from one fighter who lost shields. A man whose XJ X-Wing was decorated with a blazing nova climbed out of the cockpit and marched to the unique Clawcraft, emulating a real claw with painted colours of black, silver and red. As the canopy rose the pilot said, “That kill was mine, Imp Boy.” ‘Imp Boy’ stared down at him no expression on his face. “What kill?” “That last one, you nerf-herder! I had just finished it off with my lasers, and it was breaking apart, when you swooped in, wasted a missile and obliterated the rock. You shot a dead rock!” “It wasn’t completely dead, you imbecile, it was going to open fire at any moment. I destroyed it to save lives.” Jagged Fel, commander for Spike Squadron, responded. Kyp Durron, Jedi Master, was astounded. “Save lives? It was a piece of molten rock! The only damage that wreck could’ve done is if some glitbiter piloted their craft into it!” “Boys, boys, stop this bickering,” the Twin Suns leader said mockingly, whose own fighter was decorated with a strange reptilian creature. “I’ll give the ruling on whose kill it is.” Great, she’ll give it to her boyfriend. [i[ Great, she’ll give it to her fellow Jedi. [/i] “The kill shall go to... me!” “What!” echoed shouts of exclamation. “The Goddess rules that all unclaimed kills shall go to She. And both of you can buy me a drink.” Kyp and Jag were in a challenge with each other: whoever beat the other with more kills would be granted a drink from the loser. So far, the score had been dead even. The two replied in monotone, “Yes, Goddess.” The Goddess, whose guise is used by Jaina Solo, was created in order to distract the Yuuzhan Vong from making reasonable, tactile choices. “Yeah, it’s not as if you didn’t have enough already.” said Kyp. “Quit yer whining,” Jaina said jokingly, “and maybe I’ll present you with a drink...” Jaina faltered. The Jedi were feeling a new presence in the Force, unidentifiable, yet familiar. “What is it?” cried out Jag, blind to the senses of the Force. Suddenly, Jaina dashed to the corner of the hangar, leaving shouts of “Wait up!” behind her. When she reached the far boundary of the room, she couldn’t see anyone, not even in the shadows. Her gaze settled on the shadows: There was nothing to cast any shadows. “Who’s there?” she demanded, trying to see and sense her way through the Force-Illusion. The shadows vanished, leaving behind a figure she had known all her life. “Hello Jaina.” he whispered. She couldn’t reply. It was impossible for her. He couldn’t be back, he was gone, dead, they didn’t even have his corpse, that’s how much he couldn’t be here. The figure ran to her, yelling “Jaina!”, to which she could only reply “Jacen!” once before she was wrapped in the strong arms of his embrace. Kyp and Jag finally caught up to her, and stared at the pair. Jag took a step forward, but Kyp grapped his shoulder and stopped him. “Leave them be,” he said quietly, looking very pale. When he saw the slight expression on Jag’s face, he chuckled, and said, “Don’t worry, he can’t steal her from you, can’t you see the resemblance? Hell, just look!” Over Jaina’s shoulder Jag could see a bearded face, with eyes and hair almost identical to the ones he had fallen in love with. “That’s Jaina’s twin?” Jag murmured. “Yeah, that’s Jacen, who had been captured nearly a year ago. We had feared that he had been killed shortly after.” responded Kyp, still obviously astonished at the sudden arrival, yet was reverting back to his natural skin colour. The pair separated, and Jacen could see Kyp and Jag behind her. “What’s with the fan club now, Jaina?” he said, with the smile still stuck on his face. Sticking her tongue out at him, she introduced him to Jag. “Jagged Fel, on loan from Spike squadron, investigating whether the Chiss House Mitth’raw’nurodo should enter the war.” Jacen firmly shook hands with the corporal, then met Kyp’s stare. Kyp realised that this man was not the philosophing boy with a bleeding heart that he once knew. “Jacen.” Kyp said with a respectful nod. He was standing in the presence of his sister and still living, things had to have changed since Sernpidal. “Kyp.” he replied, returning the nod. Jag noticed the pale skin and moving cloth. “You’ve just escaped from the Yuuzhan Vong?” he asked. The smile turned into a grim expression. “It’s been a week since I left Yuuzhan’tar.” Seeing the confused looks, “The former Coruscant.” “What happened?” asked Kyp. “I couldn’t tell you, the truth would never be fully realised. But I can show you,” Jacen said, with some hesitation. “But I warn you, it will not be a pleasant experience. “Show us, Jacen.” said Jaina, as the two men exchanged worried glances. Reaching out, he asked, “Join hands.” He grabbed one of Jaina’s light hands and one of Kyp’s calloused hands. Once again he reached into the void within himself, and pored all of himself into them, and all of them into himself. This corpse had once stood against him with violence. A warrior? Or a slave - innocent, driven to attack against his will. Why did he feel like it didn’t matter? He cut at them, killing and scrambling and killing, striking these red-blurred shapes with death-soaked accuracy. Kyp Durron, Destroyer of Worlds, was frightened. Frightened at having met a monster far worse than himself. He struggled to find anger, only finding pity for the monster. No more wrestling with right and wrong, good and evil. Every knotty problem of Jedi ethics had dissolved; once he had surrendered complexity, everything was simple. Anger alone had meaning, the only answer was pain. The dark side called to him: it murmured infinite release, humming a song of the eternity that lies beyond all shadows of doubt and remorse. Jaina had experienced this before, back when Anakin... She knew what Jacen had been through personally, heard the whisperings of the dark side, but could scarecly believe what drove him, consumed him. Compared to some other Jedi, Jacen was a saint! He faced them without slightest appearance of concern. “What signifies this interruption?” he intoned in the rolling thunder of his Avatar-of-God voice. “Your concern is an insult, ” with magnificent arrogance. “Nothing can occur that is not My Will. If these creatures slept, it is because I made it so!” When Jag had first been introduced to the “Goddess” scheme, he had refused to comply with all their requests of obedience; using logic to hide a weakness: he was never an effective actor. He could show the respect and love given due to Jaina, but not the greater level of respect and fear due to the “Goddess”. But this Avatar... he had an aura of power and of command, one usually held by the High Command back on Nirauan. Jag had a feeling if the “Avatar” were to command him, he would be too terrified to not comply. Meanwhile, Jacen experienced Jaina’s grief and rae against the Yuuzhan Vong, and lived through her cruel, manipulative methods of destruction. He also felt love, both giving and receiving. A nugget of despair had seeded in, worrying him, but he could not discern the cause. Jacen felt Kyp’s strong will to help and protect Jaina, yet saddness, because he knew she would never return his love. From Jag he experienced unwavering committment, and unrelenting love, honour, courage, and stubborness. The visions ended as suddenly as they had came. The participants released hands. Kyp stared at Jacen with an incredulous stare; Jag satggered, dizzy from never experiencing any sort of vision. Jaina, howerver, embraced her brother again, tears running down her cheeks. “Oh, Jasa, it had to be horrible.” she murmured. “It’s okay now, Jaya. I’m back, I’m alright.” replied Jacen. Releasing him, Jaina stepped back and raised her head to meet his eyes. His face was dry, though his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had cried so much, no tears could come anymore. “The others!” Jaina blurted. “Do they know...” Interrupting her, Jacen answered, “I’ve met up with Mum, Dad, Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara shortly before you returned. Other than that, I’m still just a memory.” said Jacen, his voice sombre. “There are still a few questions I have for you, however.” Kyp stated. “I understand, but you must know it won’t be the full truth. Jacen replied. “I do.” Kyp answered with certainty. “Let’s get back to the adults, and we can discuss it together.” said Jacen. “Finally! A comment that doesn’t make me feel so old!” laughed Kyp, the others joining in shortly after. “I should debrief our squadron.” Jag said after the laughter had faded. Jacen nodded. “Alright then, it was good to meet you.” and shook his hand. As they started walk, Jacen hung back and whispered to the two men. “Thankyou for taking care of my sister through her time of grief, I can’t thank you enough. It’s good to see her cheerful and well again in admidst the darkness of war. --------------------------------------------------- -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/27/03 2:41am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 26/03/03
	UP and down, UP and down, that's what makes, the boards go round! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 3/27/03 9:01pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 26/03/03
	Less Anak... ::coughs LOL This is a fine look inside Jaina's head - as well as Kyp's and Jag's. I like that bit where Kyp gets a kick out of not being counted as an adult - quite funny. You capture Kyp's dry humour well. After all Jacen and Jaina have been through, I'd definitely say that they qualify for adulthood. I gather you're a big Stover fan. Is his other stuff similar to Traitor? -----signature----- "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Soulwalker Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 3/27/03 9:12pm Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 26/03/03
	Awesome work, I like the fact that Jacen is finally getting the respect he deserves, although he had to get tortured for months on end, go on a few killing spree's, lose half his humanity, and come back as some kind of a demi-god to achieve it. Either way, you're doing a bang up job, keep it up! -----signature----- Stolen Chance (NJO, J/TK, Updated 5/26): http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10971166 Chiss Wing Commander/Chiss Lead of the NJO Fan Club "This is the shameful secret of the Jedi: There is no dark side." - Vergere
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/28/03 3:46am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 26/03/03
	Thanx guys.... ::actually reads fic this time; notices grand error, begins to smack head on desk:: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! Forgot to change the quote for Jag's vision.... Tahi! You're supposed to help me out after I post this! .... ..... .... Don't worry about it though, just try to catch some of my more obvious errors, I appreciate the ones you do catch. Soulwalker: Welcome to Return of Empathy! Hope you enjoy the ride... ::offers food and drink to both SW and Tahi:: Possible post up after I deal with this horrendous error... STUPID! ::BANG:: OUCH! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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Rogue_of-Peace Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/28/03 6:00am Subject: RE: Return of Empathy: Post Traitor fic featuring Jacen Solo: UPDATED 26/03/03
	Are you sitting down? Do you have food and beverage near you? Be prepared, for this is a LONGGGG post. --------------------------------------------------- Two voices reverberated throughout the empty hangar: one with fury and anger; another with calm and sadness. “She tricked you!” “She taught me.” “She hurt you!” “I hurt her back.” “She betrayed you!” “And I betrayed a friend in turn. Am I any better than her? Am I any worse? “How about you Jaina? Are you any better or worse than Vergere? Am I?” Kyp Durron asked. “We have all done acts, terrible and horrendous. Who are we to judge the actions of another?” Jacen was impressed at how much Kyp’s attitude had changed, more like the Master status he had received. Perhaps he will understand... They approached the coral craft noticing a new figure among the adults: Wedge Antilles, General of the New Republic. Jaina drew close to Leia, hugging her and whispered, “I’m sorry, Mum. I’m sorry I doubted you.” “It’s okay now, he’s back, that’s all that matters.” Leia replied. Meanwhile, Kyp walked over to the crouching avian. “So this is the enigmatic Vergere, familiar to an assassin, betrayer to both New Republic and Vong, held in high esteem by the Warmaster, associate of Nom Anor, and now she’s a Jedi!” Kyp said this with a grin on his face. Vergere cocked her head, and replied, “I once was with the Republic, yes. And you are...?” “Jedi Master Kyp Durron.” “Jedi Master? I knew of Padawans approaching Knighthood with more knowledge and skill of the Force than some of you self-acclaimed Masters.” “Excuse me, -Padawans?” “Good, Force! Is even this trivial information lost?!” “There are many things lost from the Old Order.” Luke interjected. “Will you teach us what you know of the times and lessons of the Old Order?” he asked. Vergere closed her eyes in thought, feathers ruffling and changing colour. “Hmm... perhaps. But it will not be a matter of what I teach, but of what you will learn.” During this, Jacen was talking to Wedge. “Good to see you again, Wedge.” “And it is good to have you back, Jacen.” switching from a grin to a somber look, “I’m sorry for Anakin’s death. He was a great man.” Jacen met his eyes and fixed them with a serious stare. “He was more than that: he was a brother, son, a friend, protector. He was all this and more.” Wedge returned the stare, and Jacen received a flash of memories throughout Wedge’s career, dealing with the many deaths of pilots under his command. “That he was, Jacen.” he agreed. Stepping back into his military persona, “If you don’t mind, I’ll need to debrief you on the Yuuzhan Vong and what they have done to Coruscant. In words, not with that, umm.... Jedi mind meld you’ve done earlier. I’ll need a recording.” “Fine then. My debriefing should be able to answer most questions my family has.” “We’ll use the In...” Wedge coughed. “The smaller meeting room then.” When they reached the meeting room, Wedge invited Jacen to sit at the head of the table while he took a seat to Jacen’s right. Jaina immediately took the one to Jacen’s left, with Kyp on the seat beside her. Mara and Luke took seats on Wedge’s side, while Han and Leia took seats near Kyp. Vergere perched herself on a seat a little away from the others. Jacen closed his eyes in deep concentration, sorting through his memories of his ordeal. His eyes opened, and spoke his tale: “After capturing me, the Yuuzhan Vong took me to their World Shaping craft. Along the way many voxyn crowded the area, some of them of the feral breed. Not knowing whether Jaina and the others had escaped yet, I decided to eliminate two mynocks with one blast to protect them. I encouraged the voxyn to attack various warriors around the area, and in turn eliminating the rest of the living voxyn. I received many hits and bruises from my escorts, and was eventually knocked unconscious. But the pain I received then was nothing compared to the Embrace of Pain. “The Embrace of Pain is a creature whose only purpose to the Yuuzhan Vong is to cause a variety of different pains to the one within it’s grasp, only stopping when commanded to by those in charge, or when the pain is so great any longer and the subject would be killed. The Force helped relieve the pain for a time, but it’s use was ultimately futile.” “Thank goodness you had the Force to aid you,” exclaimed Luke. “He did not.” the quiet correction made everyone, excluding Jacen to turn around and face Vergere. “I removed him of his mask and crutch.” Furious, Han yelled, “For goodness’ sakes why?!” Leia forced Han back into his seat, though her expression was alight with fury too. “To strip him of any illusions and preconceptions he had and leave him with his bare soul. Only then could he reconstruct himself and strengthen his spirit.” Vergere’s opaque eyes burrowed into Han. “When the war first began, didn’t you lose a close friend? You felt great pain, yes?” Shame and anguish showed on his face. “Yes.” He whispered. “Through the pains and trials you have experienced, has it not strengthened you, made a better man out of you?” Vergere meant this as rhetorical, and Han compared the two greatest losses of his life, and while the pain was no greater, his conduct and actions had matured to allow him to be of use to others. He leaned forward in his chair, to reconsider. “Yes, Vergere stripped me of my greatest asset, and yet my greatest liability. She left me without defenses against the pain. Periodically she would see me and talk to me, and during these talks she, well, in extreme Basic, told me to stop whining and grow up. “She made me realise that I was not helpless, merely alone. When I challenged her interpretation of help, Vergere told me a parable about a coccooned shadowmoth and how her help was defined. She left me to work on the lesson of pain, about it’s many facets. I came to realise that pain can be used as a power, to strengthen myself. It was no longer merely a slavemaster: Pain was my teacher, my bridge to goals and my source of strength.” Jacen paused here to gauge people’s current reactions. Leia and Han’s expressions were grim, and through the Force Jacen could feel Han fuming at the technique used on Jacen. Luke was frowning, clearly concerned about something he said. Mara was currently busy with Ben, although her expression indicated she too was not pleased. Kyp’s face showed deep thought and concentration, while Jaina was clearly concerned about what happened to her brother. Wedge’s face showed no emotional sign, but within him a rage filled directed at the outrage that the enemy would even do this. Vergere, where only Jacen could see her, was proud at how Jacen had learnt the lesson. She was pleased that the student had indeed become the teacher. Jacen cleared his throat, and began again. “The Embrace of Pain eventually released me, allowing wounds to heal. An unknown period of time passed, and Vergere came and told me to come with her. She showed me a chamber that contained an unimaginable world, with plants and creatures not native to this galaxy. “There were also slaves: even without the Force their pain was obvious. I was outraged, especially when Vergere compared the chamber to a playground. A playground, where the slaves are used as toys and tools by the potential brains of Yuuzhan’Tar. The playground was used to teach and train the World Brains - thirteen dhuryams, relatives to yammosks - to create and govern the Yuuzhan Vong homeworld, controlling the slaves using seeds that caused pain until a task was done. Vergere tricked me and said this was my new home, implanting me with the seed. “My dhuryam tried to overpower me using pain, but I instead used the pain to build a resolve to not be controlled, and a contest of wills broke out. As a result of the dhuryam’s unrelenting focus on controlling me, it’s domain dilapidated, risking it’s chances of being chosen, so it had to learn to compromise. I spent my moments reprieved of pain to take care of the other slaves, dressing wounds and setting bones. But because I was different, not letting pain control me, I was alone. “Vergere continued to teach me, about the gardener’s choices, to choose who are weeds and who are flowers. Once again I challenged her epistemology, and she asked me a very important question. Listen carefully: If the Force is life, how can there be life without the Force? The answer is, that it can’t. It’s so obvious, but easily overlooked. Although we can’t see ultraviolet colours, Gands are able to see them naturally. Neks can hear sound at many frequencies higher than humans. And the Yuuzhan Vong operate on a different frequency of the Force than the Jedi can feel and sense. And so did I. “The dhuryam would now give out short touches of pain, leading me to find natural medical aid to help treat the other slaves. I realised then it was trying to help me. I eventually saw the dhuryam as another lifeform rather than a monster. And slowly I realised that pain was the only way it knew to communicate, and that I still had a way to communicate back. “I could always see and understand another being’s emotions and point of view, even if they were aliens or non-sentient animals. It was a way of communicating without a spoken language. Although I was no longer in the Jedi Frequency of the Force, I still retained my empathy for other living beings. “So the dhuryam and I made an agreement, which allowed me to treat the slaves, which would improve the quality of it’s domain and have a better chance of being chosen as the World Brain. And although it resisted, I even treated slaves from other domains. I considered that in my garden there were no weeds, only flowers. But when an assistant of mine was attacked and eventually died because of the Yuuzhan Vong warriors, I discovered the weeds in my garden. “On the tizo’pil Yun’tchilat, the Day of Comprehending the Will of the Gods, the choosing of the World Brain, all the slaves were driven by pain to the shreeyam, another relative of the yammosk, to foil any attempts of sabotage. However, I was not bothered by the pain, and took refuge in the amphistaff nesting grounds. Normally they would tear anything into pieces, but because I was their friend, they allowed me to reside there. Even the warriors were afraid to enter without full vonduun crab armour. I convinced my amphistave friends to become my armour and weapons. It was here that I began staging the revolution. “I struck a deal with the dhuryam: In exchange for helping me free the slaves, I would ensure that it would become the World Brain of Yuuzhan’Tar. It upheld it’s part of the deal; I did not. Within my rage and bloodlust of the commencing battle, I no longer cared about protecting the slaves, or honouring the deal. All I cared for was the destruction of the dhuryams, even my friend. Especially my friend. As I was drawing to kill my friend, the last dhuryam, Vergere stopped me with her tears, and I fell unconscious.” Jacen let his head fall into his arms to cover the shame and redness in his eyes. When he allowed his head to rise back up, he saw Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara distraught. His mother and father were showing pity and sadness, while Wedge was inwardly shocked and wary. Jaina realised that this was how she was like after Anakin’s death. And Jacen was astonished to find Kyp trembling. His empathy showed that after Carida Kyp couldn’t stand any mass slaughter very well, and grew sick at the slightest mention. Vergere was dismayed, her feathers ruffling. Not at what he did, but at the way Jacen felt about the event after all this time. She hadn’t realised that Jacen still harboured guilt over what he did, although she was pleased that “why he did it,” Jacen wasn’t concerned over. Jacen cleared his throat, and the journey back towards the present continued. “When the darkness cleared and I awoke, I was in a strange location. Judging by the colour of the sun, exactly the same as in the Playground, I realised that I was on Yuuzhan’tar. Vergere was there, also sharing in the magnificent view that was Yuuzhan’tar. I thanked her for stopping me, claiming I was out of control. She refuted that phrase, asking me whether I would have done any different had I been cool and calm, instead of in a rage. Then she called me the worst thing possible: she called me a hero, for my actions in the playground. That despite the fact that I caused the deaths of many slaves, that I managed to save even more. “She compared me to the planet we were on, an artificial being reshaped by the Yuuzhan Vong into something magnificent.” Then it finally hit me. I was on Coruscant. “Vergere had fixed me up with her tears, plucking the slave seed from within me while I was unconscious. She told me I had the freedom to do as I like, to decide where we would go. With nothing to lose, I started the trek back home. As we journeyed, we saw the creation of Yuuzhan’tar’s ecosystem. Herbivores maturing in minutes, predators being made in an effective balance of predators and prey. As we watched a predator hunt and kill its prey, she said that this was what I called the dark side. I disagreed, saying that if it had killed only for they joy and more than it needed to live it would be the dark side. “Do you not think a predator enjoys the hunt of the prey? Is the dark side just a matter of degree? It’s nature if it kills just one, the dark side if it kills the whole herd?” Once again the debate was over with Vergere having the last word. “Along our travels we encountered a gigantic crater, a well of Force energy. Vergere said it was once the location of the Jedi Temple. As I was going to pressure her to tell me more, we were interrupted by the Yuuzhan Vong chasing us, which had finally caught up, and we were forced to descend down into the caverns. I attuned my senses to the hollow that once housed the seed inside. I was now attuned to the living beings all around, from the insects, to the moss scattered among the cave walls. I was them, even the Yuuzhan Vong who had found the Jeedai slave and was about to strike him down. I quickly became aware of the situation, and parried the blow. Even without weapons, I was impossible to hit, I knew his every movements better than even he knew, I knew his fear, his anger, his pain affected me just as it affected him. I managed to allude the warriors until Vergere led them away. “Vergere quickened the pace and soon I was exhausted and spent. She taunted me, asking why I couldn’t refresh myself. I grew tired of Vergere’s cryptic questions and games, and she replied we were only playing one game, just one game called, “What is Jacen Solo?” I answered the question. The answer was wrong. “The room filled with Yuuzhan Vong warriors, along with Nom Anor, whom Vergere spoke to as a partner, a confederate. At this betrayal, I raged and lashed out with dark power, once again touching the Force. I fried the little bird who had betrayed me, and collapsed the cave upon my enemies. When my rage died down, I couldn’t believe what I had done. I felt ashamed, trying to apologise and run before I hurt Vergere again, to escape the presence of the dark side. Then she hit me with the most shameful secret of the Jedi.” Jacen stared around the table. “There is no dark side.” CRASH! Kyp Durron had been tilting his chair back and forth: this news had stunned him, causing him and the chair to collapse on to the floor. Han, Leia and Jaina were shocked at the claim, Wedge in disbelief having heard and seen many acts that he would consider dark. Meanwhile Luke and Mara had expressions of equal disapproval, and were stealing glances at Vergere, trying to measure her response. However, Vergere was impassive, not even her crest colours, which Jacen had grown adept to interpreting, revealed any emotion. Once Kyp managed to get up and sit down in his chair, Jacen reiterated: “There is no dark side. The Force is everything and everything is the Force. It does not choose sides because there are no sides. Then Vergere told me another truth of great pain. The only darkness I needed to fear was the one inside myself. Unable to handle the truth rationally, I fled. “Half mad and in despair, I did not notice that I was being led into a trap. I had wandered into the stomach of a Yuuzhan’tar creature that lured prey in by telepathic illusions. Inside there was screaming. Too deep within my half-crazed despair and shame over what I did, assumed it was another illusion, another trap. About to silence the screaming forever, I realised almost too late that it was a real girl, being digested by the cave creature. Futile was the word to describe my efforts in saving her, I wasn’t strong enough to lift her out. My anger grew, and instead of fighting or drowning in the red tide of anger, I swam in it. Filled and fueled with strength, I pulled the girl out. I tended to her wounds, and led her down further into the belly of the beast. What I found was a small community. “What I found was a nightmare.” “The people were living there, protected and fed by the creature that had swallowed them. They were not happy with me. The creature only needed to consume its meals conservatively. When it needs food, it opens a gullet and tries to force something in. The people there had created a rule: last to enter was first to go in. The girl had entered only hours before I did. They threatened me with their blasters, and though I was disgusted with them, I would not judge. The girl betraying me was the last straw snapped holding my patience. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I let the rage flow through me, controlling the Force, using it to deflect bolts and take away their blasters. Then, using my connections with the living cave, drove in an idea that will last until the day it dies: sentient beings are poisonous. The cave beast “evicted” us, no more protection would be bought with innocent lives. I probably left them there to die. “There was one location I thought was my last salvation. I thought it would be Home. I thought wrong. Home was no longer my home, but rather home to the various plant and insect life that resided in that region of Yuuzhan’tar. But by then I no longer cared. I was in strife and conflict over what I had just done that day, and I no longer cared about doing anything, about living. “Somehow, not surprisingly, again Vergere showed up, telling me I had suffered the worst wound a Jedi could suffer, the injury known as freedom, the ability to decide and choose your own actions. With her speaking in riddles the whole time, frustration kicked in when I couldn’t find the answers. Only by looking inside myself did I find my place, my interconnecting part of the universe, where all is one and one is all. Even the part where I connected with Nom Anor and his warriors who had just entered the room. Nom Anor announced that my problem occurred from my “bankrupt” religion, and that I should rise and reveal the Truth of the God I Am. He then offered me a light saber, Anakin’s light saber, and gave me a choice: take up the weapon and slay, or to live and teach the Truth. I knew my role was not the way of the warrior. I chose to teach, but it was a lesson no one was suspecting.” “When I accepted Nom Anor’s offer, we went to the site that would ultimately house the Supreme Overlord Shimrra. I had a swift blessing or coronation from the priests as the Avatar of Yun-Yammka, the Slayer. Nom Anor pushed for me to set up a trap to catch my sister for the Twin Sacrifice. My plan didn’t involve her, so I decided to set up a fake trap, to place myself in one of the camp ships, and spread a rumour that I was here, alive. I only wanted to delay things, but my trap caught another Jedi, Ganner Rhysode.” Briefly pausing, Jacen noticed Jaina was shaking. His empathetic insight told him the cause was guilt and sorrow over a conversation that she believed had sent him to his doom. “Despite all my efforts of detracting Ganner from his self-set task, he was too brave and too persistent. The Yuuzhan Vong warriors that were with me had orders to destroy the ship if I showed evidence of still being sympathetic towards the Jedi. By entering the room, he became a dead man. The only way I could make my death and Ganner’s be worth something, was to bring him back to Yuuzhan’tar. “I convinced the priests and Nom Anor to let me teach Ganner and “sacrifice” him to the True Gods. Once we were alone and I had quieted the sensors, I explained to him what was going on, and what he should say to hold up the deception. He was suspicious, understandably so, especially since I was also saying some of Vergere’s teachings. But I needed his cooperation and trust to get into the Chamber of the World Brain. I gave him Anakin’s lightsaber, to use it if he must. He went along with the plan, and we had a “Grand Procession” to the chamber. The doors closed behind us and we approached the World Brain. I told Ganner to run for the caverns beneath us, but he wouldn’t leave without me. When the door busted open I didn’t have enough time to do what I had to do. Ganner then chose. He offered to delay the Yuuzhan Vong long enough for me to complete my task. I stated that he had to play the hero, even if it killed him. He responded that he was just the sidekick, that his job was to ensure that the real hero does his. He told me that wanting to be a hero was his greatest weakness, I replied that it could become his greatest strength if he let it. He left me there, and his acting-the-hero made him one of the greatest legends there will be.” Vergere interjected, “Ganner Rhysode fought with joy, valour and might as none had ever seen before. That day, a new mythical entity was born, who stands before the Gates of the Dead to keep back the spirits within, the Jedi Giant known as the Ganner.” “Meanwhile,” Jacen continued,” I was communicating with the World Brain. It knew I had betrayed, tried to kill it, and was full of malice and hate. I could not ask for forgiveness, for there was too much I would never forgive myself. The only thing I could offer was complete and full understanding. I gave it total fear, anguish and shame that I had sustained, I shared the pain that my betrayal had caused, and shared my experiences of the spectrum of life: rage; despair; loss; growth; beauty; happiness. I shared my love for all these things as one can not exist without the other. To love any is to love all, all is one. The World Brain and I were one, and so was everything else that is.” “I asked the World Brain to do me a favour, to protect the slaves and refugees on Yuuzhan’tar the best it could. As I was about to join Ganner in the glorious symphony that he was, when Vergere had proclaimed that my journey through the lands of the dead was finished. I wouldn’t leave Ganner to die. She gave me back my lightsaber, and asked me what I am. I didn’t know what I was, but I remembered that I didn’t have to know, just decide. I answered that I was a student. Vergere replied that I was also then a teacher, and that to teach and learn I must live. I chose to follow Vergere, despite the unknown with this choice. “Vergere tricked Nom Anor into revealing a coral craft he had stashed away to escape in, and I befriended the craft to let us pilot it away from Yuuzhan’tar. I spent many days in contemplation of what I would do. I decided that I would be the student, and the teacher, and I have returned to teach about the fallibilities of divisiveness and to find a way to end the war without killing a part of the whole we are. Because all is one: Republic and Yuuzhan Vong; Friend and Foe. All is one.” Jacen rose slowly out of the chair, tired after reliving all that he had done. The others met his actions, all staring at him. Uncle Luke met his eyes and said quietly, “I need some time to think about this.” and walked out of the room, with Mara holding Ben close behind. Jacen turned to where Jaina was standing, and was enveloped by his sister’s arms, hugging strong and deeply. “I, uh...” Jaina said haltingly, “I don’t know if I exactly understand or agree with what you have said, but I’m willing to listen more about your thoughts, to understand more about you now. I think I need to go lie down and rest.” She left with tears in her eyes: of sorrow because of the atrocities done upon her brother; of joy because he was alive. Kyp stepped towards Jacen with an expression of frantic desire to question him, yet Master mannerisms took reign over this. “If you wouldn’t mind, Jacen, if I would speak to you later.” Covering a yawn with his hand, “I should get some rest too.” Kyp said smiling, and exited. Han and Leia walked up to Jacen, Leia embracing him in a hug, and Han wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “We’re proud of you, son, for managing to tell us what has happened to you,” Leia said. “It is often hard to tell of actions you have done, and are ashamed of. But it is harder to have ideas that are different to the ideas taught by those we respect, and to be proud of those ideas.” “Son, you have suffered an ordeal difficult for most to even comprehend, yet alone accomplish. Physically, mentally, spiritually demanding, yet you have managed to supply it. Well done Jacen.” congratulated Han. Jacen took this in, and a faint smile appeared on his face. Thanks Mum, thanks Dad,” said Jacen softly. Wedge cleared his throat. “Thankyou Jacen. It’s never easy to relive such horrific events. If there’s anything you need or require...” “A good night’s rest is all I want right now.” Jacen said, tiredly. Leia was surprised to see Jacen’s eyes so weary and red. “Alright then, if you could just go and see Danni Quee in the Science Wing, and tell her to meet me in the hangar, and also, visit the Medical ward. I’m going to need a complete physical on you, standard operating procedure.” “Fine then.” He shared a nod with Vergere, who was hanging back, spectating. Wedge stared at Jacen as he left, waiting until he was out of sight before turning to Han and Leia. “Is he trustworthy enough to become an...” Wedge broke off as Han indicated Vergere, still hovering nearby. Somehow noticing the attention, she responded, “I have no care or interest over the galaxy’s politics, be they New Republic or your secret rebellion. Nevertheless, I shall give you the unnecessary privacy you desire,” as Vergere hopped to the other side of the room. Not entirely satisfied with this, Wedge repeated. “Is Jacen trustworthy enough to be a part of the Insiders? I have suspicions, but they are mostly caused by this talk about the Force, a very different aspect from what Luke has mentioned to me.” Leia and Han exchanged a stare, and Leia said, “Despite what he’s done and been through, he’s of sound mind, and not with the Yuuzhan Vong. He detests the current political backstabbing and techniques, and isn’t seeking total annihilation of either side. His goals may not be along ours, but they are not against us.” She said this with such conviction that Wedge believed her. “Alright then, there’s going to be an Insiders meeting at 1300 hours, with a regular staff meeting at 1330. I’ve got to go file this report, and then meet Danni to check out this coral craft.” Changing his tone to one of personal concern, “Will you be alright?” he asked. Han smiled, though it wasn’t the Solo grin, but rather a more honest and real smile. “Our son is alive and has returned to us. We should celebrate our victories, both for the war, and our personal ones.” “Goodnight then,” shaking Han’s hand and bowing his head towards Leia. Before leaving, he turned to Vergere and said, “I trust you’re not here to cause trouble, but when my superiors hear about you, they would have wanted me to arrest you and interrogate you. I’d like to confine you to your room unless Han, Leia, Mara, Luke or myself is with you at all times. Is that reasonable?” asked Wedge. Vergere tilted her head at Wedge, and stared at him with opaque pupils. “It is.” she simply said. As she was leaving, Han stopped her. “Despite your cruel and malicious methods, we recognise the benefits of such teaching.” Leia added, “He’s stronger now, and more confident in his actions and his role, whatever it will be.” “But if you ever hurt Jacen again, especially if it’s to teach him, Force or no Force you’ll get a blaster bolt between the eyes.” Han threatened with a dark gaze. Vergere met this with no expression, although the feathers on her crest shifted colours.. “I believe Jacen has learnt all he will from me. Despite his flaws as a Jedi, his successes to date and to come will be more grand than I had ever hoped they would be. His destiny will change the tides of the universe.” ---------------------------------------- YAWN 2:00 AM here, TGIF -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10933644&replies=17 ]
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