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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends Agharta - (Mara and Jaina adventure: pre-NJO) Chapter 11: Past Excuses; Mara questions Trogan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by madman007, Oct 2, 2010.

  1. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Oh, I really enjoyed the latest chapter! Mara and Jaina have such a nice relationship. It's so depressing that none of the books ever explored it further. But that's why we have fanfic, right?

    Your dialogue flowed really well and I like your characterizations of both Mara and Jaina. Jaina seems like a normal 15-year-old and Mara seems exactly as she would be after being married for awhile but still with her same old spunk.

    "You've never heard of Han Solo?"

    "Should I have?"


    "He's the pilot that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!" :D
     
  2. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009
    It captures their personalities perfectly.:)

    The best food you've ever eaten always comes from childhood - not so long I was so delighted to eat a piece of bread with butter and sugar...[face_laugh]

    The whole episode is adorable - you are a master of creating suspense. Merry Christmas![:D]

     
  3. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    JediMara77 - It's so depressing that none of the books ever explored it further. But that's why we have fanfic, right?

    Ain't it the truth! Instead of having the Sith of the Month novel for the umpteenth time, profic could have explored other subjects and relationships between Star Wars characters. Guess that's why there's us fanfic writers.

    "You've never heard of Han Solo?"

    "Should I have?"


    I purposely wanted this exchange to mimic Han and Obi Wan's in ANH. Brings it more nostalgia, especially since it's Han's daughter doing the asking.

    Thanks for reading. (I swear I'll catch up to yours asap!)


    Piper057 - It captures their personalities perfectly.

    Thanks for that. There will be more insights to their differences and similarities coming up.

    The best food you've ever eaten always comes from childhood.

    Maybe that's why I researched food from Star Wars in detail. For me it wasn't enough to just have them say they ate breakfast. It needed to be the best breakfast they've had in a long time.

    The whole episode is adorable - you are a master of creating suspense.

    Adorable? I don't know about that. But thanks anyway. Heh, if you think it's suspenseful now...well, let's just say I haven't even reached to the real suspenseful part yet.


    On another note, if there's anyone on the PM list who does not want to be on the PM list, speak now in a PM to me....or forever hold your pieces! :D
     
  4. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    New reader signing in! :D Please out me on the PM list. I've been just about to start this for ages now (because of the great trailer and experience with your earlier stories!) but my eternal trouble is to get started! o_O

    Anyway, I have now! Love your J&M pairing, it offers some excellent banter but also a great dynamic! And the story appears most intriguing! Looking forward to next update and promise to be more thorough with rew then!

     
  5. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    kataja, consider yourself added. Seems getting started is eternal trouble with most people on the PM list. Thanks for the feedback and for finally starting.

    I am working on the next chapter as we speak.
     
  6. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    And here I am, back with the next chapter. I see I don't have many readers. Why, I'll never know. But it doesn't matter. I still write when I can and type it up in a day for the readers I do have. Thank you for those still following this. Make sure you read the author's note on a specific tribute I included in this chapter.

    In case you need an update, (it has been a month since my last post): Mara and Jaina have entered the Mahra compound and were invited to breakfast. Discussions of past violent acts and religion were spoken, including the Mahra goddess named Agharta. However, in an act of retaliation after the Mahra Spirit Leader, Krun Li, challenged the validity of the Force, Jaina used the Force to bring him a pitcher of milk. Mara wasn't thrilled. Despite this act, Krun Li still invited Mara and Jaina to stay a few days as their guests. A tour of the compound was scheduled after they were shown to their temporary quarters. And that's where we begin.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Agharta

    Chapter Four: Tour of Insanity



    Their accommodations were rather fitting. It was once a sleeping chamber from a Correlian Corvette. The formerly white walls had been dulled in color by dust and grime over the years. The irony of the quarter's origins was not lost on Mara. New Republic historians all agreed that the one major event that set the Rebellion in motion against the Empire was Princess Leia's capture by Vader while aboard her Corvette hovering over Tatooine. Mara remembered reading an Imperial log that stated the Devastator had destroyed that particular ship. Considering how the Mahra were scavengers for the scrap of the galaxy, it forced Mara to wonder if these quarters came from the very same space craft.

    As Trogan gave she and Jaina the half-credit tour of their facilities, Mara mentally scoffed at that idea. The odds were insurmountable that they were in what was once part of the famous Tantive IV.

    Trogan finished up his tour. "We made sure everything in the refresher works. We have a separate plumbing system and a powerful Newton-Roush generator running the juice."

    Jaina looked around and felt down on one of the two cots placed on each side of the room. She pushed down to test its firmness. She smirked in satisfaction. "Not bad. I've had worse places to sleep in." She set her pack on top of the bed. There were no dressers to place clothing inside.

    Mara agreed. "Yes, I think it will do."

    Trogan sneered, "Good. It was the only one we could get prepared in time. The Mahra are not used to having guests."

    "Maybe that can change soon," offered Jaina.

    Trogan rolled his eyes at her and stated, "Krun Li will give you two standard hours to get settled and refreshed. He and Croaga will meet you then at the central altar where you first met."

    Mara was inspecting the refresher when she absently replied, "Sounds fine."

    "Well, I have some things to attend to." He started for the door when he stopped to glance at Jaina. "Oh, and kid, that thing you did with the milk this morning at breakfast...nice skill you have there. Well, see you two in two." The door slid open and he disappeared before it closed.

    Jaina smiled as she jumped on her bed.

    Mara eyed her apprentice. "Before your ego grows any larger, I should remind you that true Jedi don't use their abilities for retaliation."

    "I wasn't. I gave him an example of what we can do with the Force."

    "Oh, so you're calling that display this morning a demonstration?"

    "Hey, your words, not mine. Besides, he provoked me. He set himself up when he put down the Force."

    "In which you should have gracefully respected his opinion and his beliefs."

    "That's boring. Really, Aunt Mara, you're starting to sound like Uncle Luke everyday." She looked up and paused before she added with a sigh, "All right, stop giving me your evil look. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did."

    Mara smiled in triumph and sat on her own bed. "So, what is your opinion of the Mahra so far?"

    "They certainly don't act like any pirates I remember. I can't sense one violent thought amon
     
  7. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    "That's boring. Really, Aunt Mara, you're starting to sound like Uncle Luke everyday."

    Ooooh. Way to hit her where it hurts, Jaina!

    After a short pause, Mara got herself off her bed and said, "I'm going to go ahead and get ready first. My niece has been known to take the longest to get ready."

    Jaina absently replied, "All right." It wasn't until after Mara closed the refresher door when Jaina finally realized what her aunt said and Jaina exclaimed, "Hey!"


    Hee, that was cute. :)

    Jaina smirked and said, "It's about time I had admirers who weren't after one thing."

    Mara cocked a green eye at her and muttered, "I'm not even going to touch that one."


    I really like your Mara/Jaina banter. Too bad there wasn't more of this in profic!

    Also, your descriptions of the Mahra compound and their overall civilization is very good. I'm intimidated by creating original characters, worlds, etc., so I appreciate that ability in others.

    Jaina almost felt as if each Jedi on the wall were watching her. What would they think of the new Jedi? She had the urge to speak to them. And she did so through the Force. Anakin's son is doing a great job. You would be proud of him.

    Awww. That was really touching.

    "Yes. Here, let me show you." Ristina took back the toy and held it out so the clear tube was away from her. She flicked an oversized red switch and a tiny swishing sound emitted and a soft blue light appeared inside the clear tube. The sound was an obvious recording of a lightsaber's hum but it did do a good job of mimicking one.

    Hehe, I have one of those. :D

    "Your challenge," Jaina bemused. "I've decided that you deserve the first look at a real lightsaber." She reached for her weapon and held it out in the same manner as Ristina did with her toy. Jaina depressed the switch and the snap-hiss drowned out the sound of the toy.

    Ristina's eyes could not appear larger. She whispered a long, "Wwwwooowww!" as Jaina waved the blade around a few times. It hummed with every movement.


    Yeah, I think I'd have the same reaction if I saw a real-live lightsaber. :D

    Ristina's voice burst out in joy, "You're going to save her, aren't you?"

    Jaina stopped herself from saying that she would try. Instead, she remembered the words of another Jedi Master on the concept of merely trying. She then replied to Ristina, "Yes, I am. It's what Jedi do."


    I have a bad feeling about this.

    Mara uttered, "That's not entirely true." She stared Krun Li in the eyes and stated emphatically, "You've never introduced her to a Jedi."

    Hmmm, interesting. Looking forward to the next chapter, madman! Great job!
     
  8. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009

    Er... Wrong choice of words again? [face_worried]


    I always love the first signs - and here they are really good. :D

    I really start to like your Jaina - she is very... refreshing. :) Young and carefree, she's been through a lot and understands so much...

    =D=


    [face_laugh] Best description ever!








     
  9. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Very, very interesting. As always, you do a great job with introducing the environment and putting the characters into place.

    Neekro beach and Island... like necromancy? I know I'm supposed to have a bad feeling about this but that certainly does the job... [face_worried] ;) Let's have a party indeed... o_O Baaaad things are going to happen, I think...[face_love]
     
  10. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
    Cyril Connolly



    Apparently, Jaina and Mara aren't as popular in here as I thought. Could be the reason why there's hardly any stories focused on them, in profic or fan fiction. Or it could be that I've made the chapters too lengthy. Never fear, readers, I'll keep on this epic, which will get more involved first with the discovery of the crazy Seria. Don't discount her words no matter how insane they sound. There could be double meaning in them. After that, all Hell breaks loose!

    Thanks to my readers:

    JediMara77
    - Thanks for all your little comments on my little story that could.

    I really like your Mara/Jaina banter. Too bad there wasn't more of this in profic!

    The main reason I put them together. As I write more I feel more of the kinship between them that was barely hinted in profic.


    Also, your descriptions of the Mahra compound and their overall civilization is very good. I'm intimidated by creating original characters, worlds, etc., so I appreciate that ability in others.


    Thanks so much. I've had a knack for creative writing ever since the fourth grade. It also helped that I wrote a full sized novel online before I ever thought of doing fan fiction. I will be re-revising it someday in the future.


    Hehe, I have one of those.
    Is it an FX lightsaber or just a plastic fold out one? Mine's Vader's red FX lightsaber.



    Piper057 - I always love the first signs - and here they are really good.

    Guess that's another reason for so few readers. My epics start out real slow to build it up and then BAM! It just takes a while to get to the BAM.


    kataja - As always, you do a great job with introducing the environment and putting the characters into place.

    All part of good storytelling.

    Neekro beach and Island... like necromancy?

    Wow, I never saw that connection. And you have no idea how close you are....and you won't just yet. :D And there will be a party on the beach!

    Keep a watch out for Chapter 5 !
     
  11. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Ah, I bet you thought I disappeared. I started work in retail so my hours are crazy. Never fear, I'm BACK! I figured the previous entry was a bit too long, so I shortened this one.

    And if you need a bit of summary refresher, Jaina came upon a member of the Mahra, named Seria, who wasn't exactly in her right mind. Mara spotted an island far out on Neekro Lake that no Mahra member talks about. And it turns out, that island was where Seria had been before she went mental. Mara offered to help her as a Jedi.

    So, read and enjoy. And review as you see fit.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Agharta


    Chapter 5 - A Myth In Trade


    Qiilura - Neekro Beach, evening

    Mara Jade had encountered her share of the male population who were stubborn beyond measure. Han Solo made an art out of being stubborn. Her former boss, Talon Karrde, made a profit from it. Even her own husband had shown shades of stubbornness over the years that she knew him. The Spirit Leader of the Mahra, Krun Li, was no exception.

    After Mara offered her service as a Jedi to help the woman named Seria Rayne out of the insanity that plagued her, Krun Li was very non-committal for an answer. From her first meeting with him, she could sense the sincerity of his words about the Mahra beliefs. He had shown courtesy to Jaina and herself as a host on their visit to the Mahra compound. His wide, white smile could radiate joy within the range of his presence.

    Yet, there was something else there. Behind his well-intended nature was something that made Mara not trust him. It was distant. Locked away beneath his conscious thoughts. She wasn't strong enough in the Force to glean any details from his mind, like her husband could. She felt as if the deeper she tried to reach, the stronger his mental walls barricaded whatever it was that he was protecting. The wall seemed to feel stronger after Seria's name was mentioned. It made her frustrated that she couldn't go further into his mind.

    It also made Mara wonder regretfully if this was the same frustration that Luke had felt for several years after meeting her. Was that what he had to endure during his conversations with her? Had her own mental walls prevented an earlier courtship? If that's what Luke had to go through first, then it was a credit to him that he even persisted all those years when she rejected him.

    She shook away those thoughts for the time being and concentrated on Krun Li's reply to her offer for helping Seria Rayne.

    "We shall see," was his only response. It was really all she could ask for at the moment.

    Instead of dwelling on it, Mara joined in the Mahra members' celebration dinner on the beach in their honor. Much like the breakfast they had that morning, the food supplied for dinner was just as grand. The main course was a huge gornt that was being roasted on a spit over an open fire. Barrels of andalian brandale were carried to the beach. Mara felt compelled to partake in a glass or two, but stopped her apprentice cold when Jaina tried to sneak in a glass.

    "I'm not having you start drinking like a Solo this early in life," Mara explained.

    "Guess I'll just have to wait till I'm the proper age," Jaina replied sweetly. Though she gave a small pout, Jaina went back to the party with Ristina and her friends.

    The skies soon darkened as the celebration dinner went on. Everyone was full of food and drink, though their joy still bled through. Some members brought out acoustic instruments and started playing music. The adolescent boys attempted to entice Jaina to dance with them. Then, the smaller children, including Ristina, joined in. If it wasn't for the children dancing, Jaina wouldn't have bothered with dancing with the boys of her own age. With all the adventures that Jaina had in the past year, adding more boy issues was far down on her list.

    The band played on through the night and more adult members began to dance, especially after one barrel of wine had been consumed. Even Mara herself joined in on the dance blanket. After the band took a much deserved break, all the dancers collapsed on t
     
  12. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009

    Interesting parallel here. [face_thinking] This whole Force Bond thing is wonderful but what they both needed was to just talk and listen to each other...


    Who can doubt that she is Leia's daughter? :D

    Smart girl! [face_laugh]








     
  13. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Ah, I bet you thought I disappeared. I started work in retail so my hours are crazy. Never fear, I'm BACK!

    Ack, the curse of retail. Welcome back!!!

    Mara Jade had encountered her share of the male population who were stubborn beyond measure.

    Understatement of the year!

    It also made Mara wonder regretfully if this was the same frustration that Luke had felt for several years after meeting her. Was that what he had to endure during his conversations with her? Had her own mental walls prevented an earlier courtship? If that's what Luke had to go through first, then it was a credit to him that he even persisted all those years when she rejected him.

    That's a really interesting thought, and yes, very frustrating for Luke. But while other people get frustrated and move on, Luke Skywalker gets frustrated and persists. After all, he is pretty stubborn. :)

    With all the adventures that Jaina had in the past year, adding more boy issues was far down on her list.


    Probably a good move; you'll have enough of those issues later on. :p

    One Jedi we know can actually project images into your mind that aren't really there."


    CorSec? :p

    Mara smiled proudly and admitted openly, "Forgive me. My apprentice has more tact and diplomatic manners than I'll ever have."

    You could say that of a lot of people, Mara dear.

    "I feel like I'm on stage," uttered Mara.

    "Maybe life is a stage," responded Jaina.

    "Oh, hush, Luke Jr."


    [face_laugh]

    "I'd say. Uncle Luke can't move like you."

    "Thank the Maker for that."


    [face_laugh]

    Liked Jaina prompting Mara to voice her doubts about motherhood. That's one of the big themes in my Mara diary and I wish that had been explored in profic..

    Jaina sighed and added, "You know, I love my Uncle Luke. I enjoy his lessons and how he trains us. But I think he relies on the Force too much."

    Not as much as before Nirauan, though. :p

    Jaina silently obliged and sank back deep into her pillow. She was almost asleep when she blurted, "What did you think of the myth of Agharta?"

    "Typical back story for a creating a goddess," Mara mumbled.


    Anyone else getting a sense of irony here? Jaina should remember this conversation in a few years. ;)



    Nice chapter! Can't wait to read more. I really like the relationship you've created with Mara and Jaina.
     
  14. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    It also made Mara wonder regretfully if this was the same frustration that Luke had felt for several years after meeting her. Was that what he had to endure during his conversations with her? Had her own mental walls prevented an earlier courtship?
    Absolutely!

    Mara felt compelled to partake in a glass or two, but stopped her apprentice cold when Jaina tried to sneak in a glass.

    "I'm not having you start drinking like a Solo this early in life," Mara explained
    .
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]


    "We don't use that terminology anymore in this age, Ristina. Comparing our midi-chlorian counts would only promote competition between our new and younger Jedi."
    I completely agree!!! [face_peace]


    Mara sat down on the blanket first but something caught her eye. She watched with a mix of admiration and regret as Jaina sat down on the blanket beside her. Jaina could catch the emotion rising in her mentor and grinned.

    Jaina gave Mara a small nudge and asked, "Credit for your thoughts?"

    Mara looked as thought she'd been caught in some nefarious act. Her mental walls came down and she stated back coldly, "My thoughts are worth more than one credit
    ."

    Tsk, tsk ? she can really snap when someone get's too close, can't she? :p

    Interesting story
    You said it Mara. Not exactly a bedtime styr for small children I?d say? Very well done - conventional enough to be believable as myth origin - and yet, somehow, very creepy...[face_worried] Or is it just me?


    Then again, you could still be thinking about that woman who was breast feeding her baby just before Krun Li started his story."
    Aaahh?[face_batting]



    "Why is it that you're not asleep by now? We'll talk about it in the morning."

    After a moment of silence, Jaina muttered, "See, you already have motherly instincts."

    "If you don't want a motherly whipping, I suggest you go to sleep now."

    "Yes, mother
    ."
    [face_laugh] Yay, show her, Jaina! [face_dancing] You really give them a wonderful interaction!


    Looking forward to that update! [face_peace]
     
  15. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Piper057 - Interesting parallel here. This whole Force Bond thing is wonderful but what they both needed was to just talk and listen to each other...

    Yeah, many people tend to place most blame on Mara for shutting Luke out for a decade, but I do see that it was Luke who was also trying too hard only using the Force.

    Smart girl!

    I figured by this time, even at 15, Jaina knows her Aunt well enough to know when and how she'll answer certain questions.



    JediMara77 - "One Jedi we know can actually project images into your mind that aren't really there." CorSec?

    Wondering if someone would catch that. Good job!

    Liked Jaina prompting Mara to voice her doubts about motherhood. That's one of the big themes in my Mara diary and I wish that had been explored in profic. There were many things profic wouldn't (couldn't) expand on with Mara and Luke. Thanks to Zahn for making up for that lack in Survivor's Quest.

    Jaina sighed and added, "You know, I love my Uncle Luke. I enjoy his lessons and how he trains us. But I think he relies on the Force too much." Not as much as before Nirauan, though.

    I thought about the timing of Jaina saying this, and I think it's one of the things that profic didn't include. Why was Mara the only one to notice Luke's overuse of the Force? Leia may have mentioned it in canon but I can't remember. I just thought it was needed that one of the Solo twins noticed it too. And it just had to be Jaina.

    "Typical back story for a creating a goddess," Mara mumbled.
    Anyone else getting a sense of irony here? Jaina should remember this conversation in a few years.

    OMG, I SO did not foresee that! I'm good at foreshadowing even when I don't realize it.

    I really like the relationship you've created with Mara and Jaina.

    Thanks! I didn't want them to have the typical neice and "wild" aunt relationship where Mara lets Jaina do anything she wants. That's been done to death. In a way, Jaina and Mara are almost the reverse of that.


    kataja - Interesting story
    You said it Mara. Not exactly a bedtime styr for small children I?d say? Very well done - conventional enough to be believable as myth origin - and yet, somehow, very creepy...


    Ohhh, you haven't seen creepy yet.

    Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting! And I promise I am working on the next chapter and will be posting sooner than usual.
     
  16. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Chapter 6 will be coming soon - perhaps this weekend. Sorry for the delay but been very busy with many distractions. I'll provide a summary for those catching up or who've forgotten where we left off. Thanks!
     
  17. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Hello! Remember me? Yes, it is I, Madman, with an actual updated chapter to my current epic. It's been a while, I know. DRL has taken over and I barely have a few hours in a row to write, including my off days. But, alas, it is here. And may I say, the story takes off after this one. So enjoy and review as you see fit!

    Since it's been so long since my last update, let me give you a small summary:

    When we last left Mara Jade and Jaina on the planet Qiilura, Mara offered to help a long time member of the Mahra, named Seria Rayne, who is not exactly in her right mind. The Spirit Leader of the Mahra, Krun Li, said he will decide if that is in the woman's best interest. After a night of demonstrating a lightsaber duel to the Mahra members and partying, Mara Jade and Jaina turned in for the night.

    On to Chapter Six!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Agharta

    Chapter Six: Memories and Dreams




    Qiilura - Mahra compound: Day 2

    It sounded strange, but it was silence that actually awoke her.

    Jaina sat up slowly in her bed and into the darkness. She figured she hadn't been asleep long given Qiilura's short night cycle. She glanced over at the lump of covers in the cot opposite her own. Mara was sleeping soundly.

    Sound.

    That was what awoke her. Or rather, the lack of sound.

    At the beach earlier that night, there were numerous underlying sounds of nature surrounding her. At that moment sitting awake in her bed, there was no sound. There was no indication of any other living being outside of their hut. The air inside the hut also felt contrived. Her mouth was dry. She lifted her legs from under the covers and swung them over to the side of the cot and onto the permacrete floor. The sudden chill from contact to the cold floor sent waves through her nerves that shot up all the way to her shoulders. It was a coldness on her feet that felt like water.

    Jaina slowly lifted herself up from the cot to head towards the refresher. She looked into the reflector and ignored the untangled chaos of dark hair courtesy of tossing and turning on her pillow. She reached down to turn on the water. She cupped her hand into the stream and felt the sting of cool as the water cascaded over her fingers. She bent down to sip from her natural cup. She took a few gulps to quench her thirst. She stopped and shut the water off before she reached for a nearby towel to dry her hands. She stretched up again and looked back into the reflector...

    ...there were too many images to flood her mind. Coming at her at breakneck speed. Symbols. Crowds of beasts hungrily surrounding her. Covering her with fire. Earth swallowing her whole. Nowhere to go. Trapped. Destined for death. The beasts were grunting in unison. The sacrifice was almost over. The blood was already spilled.

    Help me!

    Her eyes sunk beneath her skull. The sheer whiteness of her gown clashed with the cracking gray of her rotting flesh. Her stare bore deep into her soul. Her lips parted just enough to let air through dead space. She stood there, waiting. There was a sharp feeling of?


    "Ahhh!" Jaina jerked up and screamed. She found herself back in her bed. There was now bright light coming from the small window atop the entrance of the hut. She could hear the sounds of the morning from members of the Mahra and birds singing. She glanced over at the opposite cot to find it empty. The covers were folded back unceremoniously. She turned toward the refresher and cried out, "Mara?"

    No answer.

    Jaina turned around to pull her feet to the floor. A sense of familiarity washed over her. She had done this same action at some point during the night.

    Or had she?

    She remembered intense images. One was recently familiar. There was a girl in the reflector. Was she crying for help? The details were fading fast. Was the Force sending her a vision? It didn't feel like the Force. Jaina still strained to remember when?

    "Morning, sunshine!"

    Jaina jumped at the voice to her right.

    "Whoa, that must have been a deep sleep."

    Jaina saw her aunt at the entrance fully dressed
     
  18. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Mara asked what was on everyone's mind. "Who is Gartie?"

    Seria smiled and replied, "Oh, Gartie was my friend on the island."

    Jaina asked, "Was that short for a longer name?"

    Seria shrugged. "I guess. I don't remember."

    Mara stated, "Agharta?"

    Seria cheered, "Yes, that was it!"


    Ahhh, I knew that was her friend. Interesting, very interesting indeed. I'm glad Mara was able to help Seria, but now there's even more questions. I hope that she and Jaina are careful and don't end up going crazy as well! And Jaina's vision - very creepy. Can't wait for more!
     
  19. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009


    Very Mara. Always alert but isn't going to panic, either.


    The worst thing a teenager can hear. [face_laugh]

    Hmmm... Leia's daughter or Mara's apprentice here? [face_thinking]


    Wow. That was rather unexpected. Looking forward to more.




     
  20. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    And may I say, the story takes off after this one.
    Nope. I took off in this one. :D


    "Ah, Mara Jade and Jaina. We've been waiting. You are rather late."

    Wow - Jaina's dream-vision was powerfully creepy! Nice writing! =D=


    He tried not to add any indignation in his voice but Mara detected it anyway. The best way to counteract it was with humor. "Blame the oversleeping teenager
    ."
    [face_laugh]



    And we are not afraid, child. There are nights when the beasts are silent and only the moon howls."
    Hmm, "moon howls" sounds creepy enough...:(


    Mara Jade never could handle sudden affection outside of a certain Jedi Master. She awkwardly padded Seria on the back and parted from her. "Your welcome, Seria. But it was you who did all the work. I only cleared your thoughts."
    Heh heh, love to see Mara embarrassed :p


    Before anyone could respond, the door slid open and Seria waltzed inside with a psuenberry muffin half eaten in her hand. She chimed, "Oh, these muffins are delicious. Gartie would have loved these." She stopped when she noticed their solemn faces. "What's wrong?"

    Mara asked what was on everyone's mind. "Who is Gartie?"

    Seria smiled and replied, "Oh, Gartie was my friend on the island."

    Jaina asked, "Was that short for a longer name?"

    Seria shrugged. "I guess. I don't remember."

    Mara stated, "Agharta?"

    Seria cheered, "Yes, that was it
    !"
    Again - very elegant writing! =D= The entire Seria-scene was great. And nice to see Mara at this point of her Jedi-training - a Knight but still not that sure of herself.

    Lovely update! =D= [:D]
     
  21. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    JediMara77 - Ahhh, I knew that was her friend. I was trying to make it a twist but even now you have to wonder if she was a figment of Seria's imagination or...something else. And the creepiness factor from this point will only be stronger. Thanks for reading!

    Piper057 -

    madman007 posted:

    "Call it what you like. I prefer to call it a negotiation."

    Hmmm... Leia's daughter or Mara's apprentice here?


    I like to think of it as the product of being raised by the diplomat, Leia, and the dirty dealing smuggler, Han.

    Thanks for reading and following!


    kataja - Wow - Jaina's dream-vision was powerfully creepy!
    Thanks! My inspiration was some writer named King. Steve, I think.

    Hmm, "moon howls" sounds creepy enough...

    That is a variation of a quote by the late, great George Carlin. Except he says wolves instead of beasts.

    Heh heh, love to see Mara embarrassed.

    Fans of Mara seem to think she's all lovey-dovey with hugs and sudden acts of affection, but I see her being awkward with them because she's not used to it.

    Again - very elegant writing!
    <bows> Thanks! Wish I had more readers but I'll accept the ones I have. I am writing the next chapter now so the wait shouldn't be months again.
     
  22. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    *** I have Chapter 7 written...just has to be typed in and posted. Hope to have it done by this weekend. Coming soon... ***
     
  23. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    As promised, here is the next exciting chapter of Agharta. Thanks to all who has read and reviewed. Please PM me if you don't want PM's on this story or if you want PM's for this story.

    When we last left the Mahra compound, Mara Jade had just put Seria Rayne into a Jedi trance so that she could clear her mind and be less insane. It worked but Seria expressed extreme emotion when she cried out with the mention of Neekro Island. Something there scared Seria so bad that she went insane for twenty years. Mara wants to find outy what. And we all know how determined Mara Jade can get. Through a veiled bribe, Jaina got a reluctant Krun Li to agree to allow Mara and Jaina on the island to investigate only if Krun Li supervises. We enter Chapter 7 after Mara and Jaina leave to prepare.

    As always, enjoy and review as you see fit!



    Agharta

    Chapter Seven: Neekro Island


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Qiilura Day 2: Krun Li's office

    The Spirit Leader of the Mahra watched as Trogan escorted Mara Jade and Jaina Solo out of his office and into the dark hallway. They had just agreed to meet Trogan and himself in thirty standard minutes for their excursion to Neekro Island. All because of Seria Rayne's claim that she befriended a girl named Agharta on Neekro Island over twenty standard years ago. It had been known that Seria had not been in her right mind ever since she was found after a month on the island. She had only been seven years of age back then. Mara Jade used the Force to enter Seria's mind. Krun Li could not have believed it if he hadn't seen it. Mara managed to clear Seria's head and bring her back to sanity.

    Word had quickly spread throughout the Mahra compound that Seria was healed. There were already several members willing to take the young woman in to take care of her. Over the years, Krun Li tried to separate Seria from the rest of the members. It almost seemed like the members were now making up for years of neglect. Before she was released to be taken care of, Croaga and himself emphasized to Seria that she should keep the knowledge of her friend's identity to herself. She understood and didn't seem to mind.

    Amidst the joy of the newly healed woman, Krun Li had many other new worries going through his head. The majority of their source had just disappeared through his office doors with Trogan.

    Croaga came up beside Krun Li and instinctively waited to utter, "I know what you're thinking."

    "Do you, now?"

    "Naturally. We've been together too long for me not to tell."

    Krun Li nodded in agreement and paused before absently saying, "I believe we have made a mistake with inviting the Jedi here."

    "Nonsense, Krun Li. Fifty years ago inviting the Jedi would have worked. They were so much more into their rules back then. It's a different Council now. They're more reckless, it seems."

    "And persistent."

    Croaga gave a knowing smile. "Mara Jade is not a typical Jedi. She was once a personal employee of the Emperor himself."

    "The New Republic chose their representative well, then. Maybe they are not as reckless as you think."

    After a small space of time, Croaga asked, "Do you think she will find the truth on Neekro?"

    "Perhaps. The truth can be manipulated to our advantage."

    "You don't believe she has sensed the truth through her Force?"

    "She has given no indications as of yet. Neither has her apprentice. Yet, their Force powers are more formidable than I thought."

    "The Jedi powers are such a mystery. We only have knowledge of it through what we could scrounge from the HoloNet. Still, we should pray that Mara Jade's investigative skills are not equal to her Jedi abilities."

    Krun Li softly chuckled and turned slightly towards Croaga. "You obviously haven't read her file in detail. She was an expert assassin and interrogator under the training of Palpatine himself. She could break a droid into giving up secrets."

    Croaga nodded. "With those skills on top of her Jedi abilities, she would be a powerful ally."

    "Or a dangerous enemy."

    After a moment of thought, Croaga shook his head. "No, I can'
     
  24. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Still, we should pray that Mara Jade's investigative skills are not equal to her Jedi abilities."

    Heh, sorry guys, but they are.

    And be really glad that they didn't send CorSec!

    "I would be more concerned with the traits that she inherited from her mother."

    So true, so true.

    "And if someone does believe her?"

    Krun Li breathed deeply and said, "Then we shall find other means to eliminate the problem." He turned to Croaga at eye level and reiterated, "You do understand."

    Croaga answered hoarsely, "Yes, I do."

    Unbeknownst to them, another figure beyond the office door also heard them and understood.


    Oooh. Mysterious.

    She cringed every time she thought about what she would have done if she had succeeded.

    I think about that a lot, too. I don't think I've ever read an AU where that actually happened. It would be interesting, to say the least.

    "I agree," said Jaina. She allowed a space of time to let the wind blow her hair back before she brightened. "At least there's one comforting thought. Agharta is no Sith Lord."

    Heh, don't say that too loud, Jaina. You can always be proven wrong. :p

    Trogan cried, "Aren't you going to help your Aunt?"

    Jaina shrugged casually and said, "Nah, she's got this one."


    [face_laugh]

    Jaina asked, "So why was this one in the form of a vornskr?"

    "Because I was just thinking about them," replied Mara absently.

    Jaina cried, "Wait a minute. You mean you just thought of this thing and it turned into one?"


    I hope they don't think of the Stay Puft marshmallow man. ;)

    Human sacrifices? Sounds nasty. Still think there's more there than meets the eye...

    Without taking her eyes off the post, Jaina replied, "I've seen this symbol before."

    Krun Li cried, "That's impossible. Where could you have possibly seen this symbol before?"

    Jaina finally turned away from the symbol and looked directly at Mara. "In my dream this morning."


    Creepy!!!


    Another excellent chapter.
     
  25. Piper057

    Piper057 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2009
    I'm not so positive here. [face_thinking] I think, if Luke could return to the past he would change nothing about it - that's who he is. :D


    Yes, exactly who he is. [face_laugh]And it's wonderful. :)


    At least, Sith Lord sounds familiar. :p


    He reminds me of Jaina's father more and more. :D


    Wow. Such intriguing twist - and it happened exactly when everybody thought that all mysteries were solved. Excellent job! =D=