If I were a character in SW, I would NOT want to be...

Porkins...

First, unable to score and then DEAD!

That has to suck!

 

"I DEFINATLY wouldn't want to work at the laundromat where Ben Kenobi drops his wash.

Who said he washes it? (I wouldn't want to be his robe! )

The Force can be a powerful detergent

 

...a dianoga.

 

A dianoga would'nt be so bad. But a Death Star garbage chute cleaner would be an awful job.

Send the droid.

 

the laughing rat thing that sat next to Jabba (sorry I can't seem to remember his name) . . .

first you spend every day, all day sitting next to that nasty, smelly tub of lard and then you get manhandled by R2 right before you die in a fiery crash . . .

sad very sad . . .

(he did beat the hell out of 3PO though, but that isn't saying much . . . ooops, sorry Bjork) . . .

 

Leia. I couldn't handle Jabba the Hutt all over me in ROTJ. Plus her whole planet blows up. And she gets tortured. I mean, this girl goes through waaaaay too much.

 

I wouldn't want to be Vader.

He's my favorite character and I think he's very heroic, but you can't deny that he had an awful, awful life. What the Force and destiny did to him reminds me of that line from Death of a Salesman about using a man until he's completely spent, then unceremoniously throwing away the peel.

 

I wouldnt want to be walrus man. Your drunk friend mouths off at a bar and you lose an arm over it.

 

Dengar. Just look at him. Nuff said.

 

Chewbacca, I mean did you see his family in the Christmas Special? Yeeesh.