JCC Improve the condom, get $100,000 from Bill Gates

How about one that emits painful electric shocks when you're doing it wrong?

 

Glow in the dark bubble bath was invented by jesus.

 

Gates could set aside a billion of his 60 billion dollars towards the genetic research needed to cure STD's.

 

He's such a cheap bastard.

 

Just basic thinking, with what may be sillyness on my part. But still, let's say you had 50 billion and stuck it in a basic account and got 5% interest. That's 2.5 billion a year. I don't know that you can do that. How many account would one have to be insured for that much?

 

No really. Look at it this way. If you went treasure diving and found a 10 billion dollar sunken treasure. How do you secure it and get interest? Most stock brokerages insure in terms of tens of millions. Do you really need dozens of accounts to secure that much cash? Are you forced into stocks? How to you get the most basic/secure interest on billions?

 

Yes, you're forced into stocks. Start your own private equity firm and accumulate businesses.

 

Are you wildy off topic or does this still count as a discussion about protection?

 

It does, as an offshoot, because I am in the dark as to securing large sums of money and why this person is offering 100K when he could offer much more.

 

I know! How about a condom that shoots out money at random moments!

 

I wish I could pleasure myself to cashgasm. I would be a wealthy man.

 

If I were a rich man dabba deeba dabba debba dabbo doo.

 

It's not condoms that need improving, it's people. We need to genetically engineer men so that they can produce different varieties of ejaculate at will. For example, if I needed to clean my car - I could cycle from prewash to soap to rinse to wax and save myself an expensive trip to the car wash.

 

It would take a while to fill a bucket.

 

It would take away a lot of this unfortunate stigma against masturbating in public if we could use it to perform useful tasks, like fertilizing a lawn or painting the garage. Imagine how much more productive men would become if we could attach the pleasure receptors of the brain directly to power tools.

 

That's exactly what he's asking for, actually.

 

It will be completely indestructible, yet breathe like Egyptian cotton.

 

Anyway, my idea is to add "magnum" or "XL" to every condom name. It won't do anything for physical pleasure, but it will be pleasing to the ego.

 

^One of the faux marketing campaigns of all time that was very successful. "Regular" condoms are blown up like a balloon in testing. Any of them fit just about anyone. Notice there is no "small" version.