Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Episode VII will not have a trailer. Instead, there will be a traveling theater that acts out certain scenes from the new movie.

 

A historical holographic message will be played, with Tom Kane's voice from the Clone Wars giving the newsreel voice-over heard from the episodes of the show.
Other actors from The Clone Wars will be touted on starwars.com as making appearances that will turn out to be very short cameos most won't even notice.

 

I heard time-travel will be involved . . . .

 

if i post it pherhaps it will happen

I will be in the films

 

I would put all the famous movies stars in it and call it Oceans 14, in the Stars.

 

Gary Busey will provide Chewie's growls.

 

All background characters will be paided in Disney Dollars, the exception being those background characters who will star in a Spin-off feature. They'll get half their pay in real money and half in Disney Dollars.

 

The sequels will be projected onto two IMAX screens so Georgey can cram twice as much visual clutter into our eyeballs.

 

The new trilogy will introduce the use of underwear in space.. not in the form of bras, but rather, the use of adult diapers. It appears the Force does not give one the power of bladder control.

 

As a node to Star Trek JJ has decided the first victim in the film will be a Royal Guard in bright shinning red armor.

 

BREAKING:

John Williams, famous composer of the first six Star Wars movies, asks for "a mere 1.1 Billion Dollars ..." to score the next Star Wars trilogy. Disney representatives, speaking on condition of anonymity, say that the word on the street is that Disney has flat-out refused Mr. Williams and that J.J. Abrams has been given orders to make Episode VII the first Star Wars movie as an avant-garde silent film. There is no word yet on whether this will affect Mr. Arndt's script, which was said to be finished already.

 

I just found the script for Star Wars episode VIII. It is to be directed by tarantino. Here are some quotes from the script:

What planet are you from.
What?
What aint no planet I recognize. Do they speak basic on what?

When you pulled up here, did you see a sign in front of my house that says "dead hammerhead storage?"

Thirty parsects away, I'll be there in ten.

I don't need you to tell me how kriffing good my jawa juice is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys poodoo. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it.

This place, Dex's diner?
Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. cantinas, toshe station, fuling stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them.

 

As an homage to his critically acclaimed contribution to the story of Star Wars, Dave Filoni (former Animation Director of Star Wars: The Clone Wars) will play the role of Plo Koon 'Magic' Skywalker, Luke's eldest son. "It's exciting news," Filoni said. "I'm pretty sure the fans are going to be thrilled." It is also rumored that Filoni's former author avatar favorite character will appear in the movie, taking Yoda's place as a role-model for all the new Jedi. The Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane may be be in the movie as well. Will he contradict the EU? Only time wil tell.

 

I've been hiding in George Lucas' attic and have attained riveting information-

Peter Dinklage is playing the son of Han Solo!

 

Just got a call from the big three, turns out none of them signed on. Though they all admit to leading them on for months for free physical fitness trainers.

 

I just got a e-mail from Business Week in the future: due to Disney's success with strong-arming theatres for more profit on opening weekend for Iron Man 3, in summer 2015 Disney has officially gone mad with power and, with a chorus of maniacal "AH-HAHS! Money money!" from Mickey Mouse and friends, they demanded 110% of Ep 7 theatrical profits for the first month of showing. In response, theatre chains across North America revolted and refused to screen the film so now Ep. 7 will only screen at theatres in Disney Parks and maybe screenings in Skywalker ranch. Line ups are expected to take as long as into October to see it. Bring water and provisions.

 

Episode VII will be VII minutes long.

 

STAR WARS SHOCKER: GEORGE LUCAS RUNS SCREAMING FROM EP 7 SCREENING. Says "What the hell happened to that outline I wrote" to random bystander. Bystander shrugs.

 

"JOHN WILLIAMS DROPS OUT OF EPISODE VII. MOVIE WILL NOW BE SCORED BY JAMIROQUAI"

 

90's nostalgia FTW.

 

George Lucas will play the villian in Star Wars VII as the son of Jabba the Hutt and Shmi Skywalker. Turns out the Sandpeople were pimping her out while she was their captive. Jabba paid top dollar for 30 seconds with her!

 

My sources have new info about the plot of Episode VII... They tell me that during a trip to the outer rim Luke Skywalker will land on a strange planet where he finds an ancient Sith Temple and inside it he discovers a STARGATE... I smell a crossover!!!

 

George Lucas came round my house last night for Frito Pie and Pabbs. He told me the whole trilogy is going to be a game of holo chess between Luke and Ghost Palpatine. Phillip Glass is scoring the movie which will just be the word "clone" repeated non stop for 2 hours. He then nuzzled my shoulder and said "You'd sure look purdy in a gold bikini". This made for an awkward rest of the evening.

 

All of the action sequences will be filmed in confuse-o-vision.