Amph Preview of Coming Attractions: 21 Jump Street

Meh. Standard exorcism flick through a Blair Witch/Paranormal Activity filter.

 

No way. Not interested.

 

I'm a sucker for possession/exorcism flicks owing to my fascination with the works of WP Blatty, but the trailer for The Last Exorcism makes it look duller than dried pea soup.

 

Machete (2010)

70 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:27

Fresh:19

Rotten:8

Average Rating:6.1/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 44 min.

Genre: Action & Adventure, Mystery & Suspense

Theatrical Release: Sep 3, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss. After being betrayed by the organization who hired him, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss.

Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Shea Whigham, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Savini, Daryl Sabara, Gilbert Trejo, Billy Blair, Ara Celi, Feliz Sabates, Electra Avellan, Elise Avellan, Marci Madison, Vic Trevino, Mayra Leal, Alejandro Antonio, Juan Pareja, Alicia Rachel Marek, Jason Douglas, Mitchell Lance Adams, Brent Smiga, Chris Warner, Jim Henry, Tina Rodriguez, Roland Ruiz, Greg Ingram, Tito Larriva, Cheryl "Chin" Cunningham, Hugo Perez, Nina Leon, Doran Ingram, James Brownlee, Nimród Antal, Al "Train" Dias, Dimitrius Pulido, Scott Jefferies, Edgar Arreola, Tommy Nix

Director: Robert Rodriguez , Ethan Maniquis

Studio: 20th Century Fox

Poster: Dark

Trailer: Pretty good

Pro: Mindless

Con: Mindless

Verdict: Mindless

 

I forget that De Niro is involved in this literally every time a commercial for it isn't on. Which then again isn't all that often.

 

I don't see how Rodriguez could possibly screw this up.

 

I must say I'm amused by the "and introducing Don Johnson" billing.

Can't say I've got a lot of time for Rodriguez, though.

 

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

7 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:16

Fresh:2

Rotten:14

Average Rating:3.9/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 30 min.

Genre: Action & Adventure, Mystery & Suspense, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Horror

Theatrical Release: Sep 10, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: "In a world ravaged by a virus infection, turning its victims into the Undead, Alice continues on her journey to find survivors and lead them to safety. Her deadly battle with the Umbrella Corporation reaches new heights, but Alice gets some unexpected help from an old friend. A new lead that promises a safe haven from the Undead leads them to Los Angeles, but when they arrive the city is overrun by thousands of Undead and Alice and her comrades are about to step into a deadly trap."

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Kim Coates, Shawn Roberts, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Spencer Locke, Boris Kodjoe, Wentworth Miller, Sienna Guillory, Kacey Barnfield, Norman Yeung, Fulvio Cecere, Ray Olubowale, Christopher Kano, Tatsuya Goke, Nobuya Shimamoto, Peter Kosaka, Denis Akiyama, Kenta Tomeoki, Shin Kawai, Mika Nakashima

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Screenwriter: Paul W.S. Anderson
Studio: Sony Pictures/Screen Gems

Poster: Dull

Trailer: Not seen it

Pro: Some of the cast

Con: 7 per cent on the Tomatometer is pretty damn low

Verdict: Nah.

 

Looks awful. Is anyone surprised?

 

No, but no one has ever seemed to care whether these movies are any good. I was almost in awe of how bad the last one was, yet I knew what to expect and rented it anyway.

 

I actually thought #3 was the best of the three!

But given your comment that no one seems to care whether these movies are any good, I guess my question is: isn't it just as easy to make a decent movie as to make an awful one? I mean, given the same bad actors and bad special effects, how much more difficult would it be to be at least give them decent plot and scripts?

 

You did say the "source material" was a videogame, right? And the source material for the video game was bad sci fi and horror movies? Given that, the films are about as "true" to the source material as it is possible to get. The movies complete the circle of bad entertainment.

 

It's a bit like making a Lords of the Rings movie starring Lothos- an original character from another planet who happens to meet Frodo a couple times along his own route to Mount Doom to destroy Sauronaught- the other evil in kahoots with Sauron that everyone else is ignoring.

I actually kind of want to see that movie now.

 

God . . . that sounds awesome!

 

That's pretty much always been my take on these movies. They're dumb fun, but still entertaining enough to where I keep watching each new installment. It's a series about freaking zombies, not Shakesphere, and people need to quit expecting more out of a series of films like this, if they go in with impossible expectations. I can't think of a better franchise based on video games, and yes that includes the holy MK movies which I thought sucked.

Seriously, when franchises like Saw can continue to make a profit, shoving off a sequel every year, where's the problem with this franchis? They obviously make money, or they wouldn't keep making them. You can argue artistic vision all you want, and be as snobby about film as much as you want, but there's obviously an audience for these films, and if you don't care for them, don't watch them.

 

With stuff like this, I don't need art, but for a movie called Resident Evil to be so dull is just a crime. To me, the first two don't qualify even as "dumb fun" because they're all dumb with no fun. The action is dull, the horror isn't scary. There's no humor or wit or charm. It's just an exercise in attractive women kicking bad special effects in the face, and that's not enough even for a movie like this.

 

The Social Network (2010)

* All Critics
* Top Critics

100

Average Rating: 9.8/10
Critic Reviews: 25
Fresh: 25 | Rotten: 0

No consensus yet.
100

Average Rating: 10/10
Critic Reviews: 10
Fresh: 10 | Rotten: 0

No consensus yet.

Audience
82

Want To See: 16410
Not Interested: 3531

Genre: Drama

Synopsis: A story about the founders of the social-networking website, Facebook. A story about the founders of the social-networking website, Facebook.

Rated: PG-13 [See Full Rating] for sexual content, drug and alcohol use and language

Running Time: 2 hr.

In Theaters: Oct 1, 2010 Wide

Studio:Columbia Pictures

Directed By: David Fincher
Cast

*
Jesse Eisenberg
(Mark Zuckerberg)
*
Justin Timberlake
(Sean Parker)
*
Andrew Garfield
(Eduardo Saverin)
*
Rashida Jones
*
Rooney Mara
*
Brenda Song
*
Armie Hammer
*
Josh Pence
*
Max Minghella
*
Joseph Mazzello
*
Malese Jow
*
John Getz
*
David Selby

Poster: Very Good

Trailer: Rather Dull

Pro: the cast, the director

Con: I know very little about Facebook and don't use it.

 

I actually think this could be a great movie.

 

Personally, I can't wait.

But I'll have to, since it doesn't hit Australian cinemas until November 25th.

 

Trent Reznor is doing the soundtrack.


Trent Reznor is DOING THE SOUNDTRACK

 

I'm planning on catching this one in theaters.