Before - Legends The Ridiculously-Specific "Don't Blame Me--Blame the OC!" Challenge Response Thread

Wow. That title certainly is a mouthful.

This is where we'll be posting the responses that take place during the 'Before' era.

Title: The Ridiculous Misadventure
Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Bant, a few OCs, and *cough* guests *coughcough*
Note: Written for the...ah, read the title. (The Challenge can be found here.)

This fic embarrasses me to no end, but since it took so much effort to write... *Shakes fist at the sky* I'll be much more careful about the ridiulous guidelines I give a challenge in the future. Oh, wait... no I won't.

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?Master?? Coruscant?s artificial brand of light filtered through the delivery shuttle?s single grimy window, lighting the young man?s face in earnest. ?Please say something??

?There is nothing left to say, Obi-Wan,? said the tall figure wearily. He sat propped against the shuttle?s grimy wall, long legs drawn in as to give his companion enough room to breathe. There was rather little room leftover in the cargo hold; stowage large and small surrounded them on all sides. ?At this point, you?ve already heard anything I could possibly wish to express.?

?I?m sorry,? Obi-Wan said miserably.

?That, also, has been established.?

?I?m really, really sorry, Master. But it wasn?t??

??it wasn?t your fault.? Qui-Gon did not open his eyes. ?I?ve already heard your view of the situation, Padawan.?

?Master??

?Padawan??

?I still don?t think you understand my side of the story completely.?

Qui-Gon glanced up dispassionately. ?Is that so??

Just then, the ship gave an almighty lurch that spilled several boxes of heavy and otherwise annoying boxes of freight onto the two Jedi. Once the heavier of the boxes had been pushed away and Qui-Gon could see his student again, he gave the younger a stern look, which caused Obi-Wan to promptly drop his gaze and murmur something indistinguishable.

They sat like that for a moment in the uncomfortable stillness. It was, at last, Qui-Gon who took it upon himself to be the mature one and to resolve the conflict.

?Well, Padawan, if you?d like to share ?your side of the story?, now would be the time to do it. It would appear we?ve landed, but we won?t be able to escape this blasted vessel until the cargo has been removed. It will doubtless take a healthy amount of time, and as our belongings were left on Pharnas??here, another stern look??we don?t exactly have anything else to do.?

?You want to hear the story?? Obi-Wan asked nervously, suddenly looking quite pale.

?I thought that was what you wanted,? said Qui-Gon. ?I thought I ?don?t understand your side of the story completely?. By all means, Obi-Wan, remedy that problem. I?m all ears.?

Reluctantly, Obi-Wan took a shaky breath and attempted to do just that.

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I know what this must look like, Master, but I assure you, the entire thing was not my fault. Please don?t blame me yet?at least wait until you?ve heard the story, until I?ve had a chance to explain. Is that reasonable?

When we arrived on the planet Pharnas, I specifically remember mentioning that ?bad feeling about this? thing. Okay, sure, I might have overreacted a little; maybe we could dismiss my sleeve getting caught in the door as mere clumsiness (though I?m convinced more than ever that it was an omen), and, all right, the fellow in the neon toupee probably just meant to open the door for me, not to send me sprawling onto my face in front of many strangers. If I?d just been paying attention, I wouldn?t have tripped over his tail?and scuffed my boots.

You know everything that happened up until the point when we were separated, so there?s no need to recount that part of the misadventure. Anyway, things only started to go wrong after we did.

It started out well enough at first. After you left, the waitress brought me a menu. I think huma

 

<laughs hysterically> Good God...that was mad, mad mad...in a very very hilarious sort of way.

I applaud you, my dear. Poor Stan and his botched Apparating attempts - and Obi-Wan's descriptions about his 'mission', and Qui-Gon's skepticism...hee. The poor thing.



Signed,
Darth Cliffy.

 

And so, ungracefully, the fic came to a close.

Evil to the very last drop.




Additionally,

When you said, "Union boys..." I thought Teamsters. Which would have also been weird.

 

Fluff-Slayer, that was wonderfully bizarre.

And now, here's my own, actually serious for once, response!

Title: Tell Me a Story
Characters: Carth Onasi, Leiraya Moran Onasi, Bryce Onasi, various KOTOR peeps.
Notes: A non-ridiculous response to a ridiculous challenge.

Carth Onasi hated military ?vacations.?

They largely involved dragging him off someplace to be the face of the Republic military, in spite of the fact that he was definitely not at its head. No, being one of the heroes of the Star Forge was enough for that. Not that he considered it a particular victory, but the rest of the galaxy didn?t know the story as well as he did. This time, it was Coruscant, at some sort of important banquet. He could at least have his family along, which made things a bit better, but since arriving on Coruscant the triplets had taken their usual higgledy-piggledy antics to a new level, including Nevara?s inexplicable loss of her right sleeve on the airbus. Carth still hadn?t figured out how she?d managed that in the five seconds he?d looked away. To make things even more interesting, Bryce had contracted a mild case of food poisoning from a bad bunch of guunga fruits at one of the nicer restaurants they?d dined earlier in the day.

He sometimes wondered how he?d had three children thrust on him at once, but truth be told, he had missed having kids around. The girls, Nevara and Anna, were the sweetest little troublemakers he had ever known, and Bryce put up with being the odd one out very philosophically. The chances of their being on their best behaviour were sporadic on a good day, but they were good kids. Even though they?d begged him incessantly since arriving on Coruscant to buy them a pet that was more fur than animal, and closely resembled a neon toupee.

Lost in his musings, he almost didn?t hear the small voice behind him. ?Daddy, will you tell me a story??

Carth turned around in his chair. Bryce stood in the doorway to the common room, clutching a stuffed Ewok toy and a blanket trailing behind him. ?Bryce, you should be in bed- you?re sick.?

Bryce stuck out his lower lip. ?But I can?t sleep. Tell me a story, please? I promise I?ll go to sleep if you tell me a story.?

?Oh?? Carth knew he should send him straight back to bed, but what harm could a story do? ?Come here.? He patted his knee, and Bryce scampered up as fast as he could. ?So, what story would you like to hear??

Bryce seemed to contemplate this for a moment. ?How about? the one about Harry Potter??

Carth scratched his head. ?I don?t think I know that one.?

?You?ve gotta know that one, daddy. It?s got people with wands, and flying broom and lots and lots of magic animals!?

Must?ve been one his mother told him. I?ll have to see about getting that story from her sometime. ?Sorry, bud, I?ll have to tell you something else.?

Bryce looked disappointed, but quickly came up with another option. ?How about the story where you and mommy had to escape the lost planet??

?Bryce, that?s a kind of scary story.?

?Please?? Bryce?s large brown eyes looked up at him pleadingly. ?I promise I won?t get scared.?

?Your mother would have my hide if she heard me telling this story at this time of night? but all right.? Carth shifted slightly in his chair, and made sure Bryce was comfortable. ?It was a lot of years ago??

* * *

Something had gone horribly wrong. He could feel it. The inevitability of the disaster to come was gnawing at his nerves. Pacing outside the Ebon Hawk, he waited impatiently for Aiden, Jolee, Juhani, and Leiraya to return from the Temple of Ancients. The ship was fixed and ready to travel, but there was nothing he could do until Aiden came back and told him if the disruptor shield had been successfully disabled.

After what seemed like hours, he finally saw Aiden coming round the bend, Bastila in tow. He was overjoyed to see that the young Jedi had been rescued, but the immediate reaction was cut short by his second observation- neither Jole

 

Splended job, DWH! You managed a serious one!

Now...were all of these characters OCs? *Blinks, clueless* At any rate, the characterization was flawless, and dialogue snappy... awww, what a cute little kid!

I especially loved your integration of the "Don't blame me--!"

<<?I did not get her in trouble,? Carth protested. ?Don?t blame me for what happened, she got herself into trouble.?

?Mommy never causes trouble.? Bryce gave him a look that would have bordered on insubordinate, had he not been hugging an Ewok. ?Isn?t that right, mommy??

Leiraya smiled. ?Of course it is, sweetheart.?>>

You did beautifully with this challenge. This had a very...realistic, comfy sort of presence to it.

Very nice!

Darth Cliffy- *Giggles* Thank you! Poor Stan indeed... and you know, that first bit with Obi and Qui-Gon seemed like it could be the beginning of a good, sane fic? That bit's the only part I really liked... it made me squirm to post the rest. But oh well. Good to get out of my normal, I suppose!

oqidaun- I like the way your sinister little mind works. That could be a funny ad--Darth Soda! (Evil to the very last drop!) Comes in grape, cherry, and revenge!

DWH- Thanks ^-^

 

Very nice, DWH! I applaud your managing to create a response that wasn't totally ridiculous. Interesting choice of setting, but I think you pulled it off very well.

Fluff-Slayer, I won't ask how Stan got there. Fantasmic - and very silly indeed. Loved Obi-Wan's throwing his dinner.

Nem

 

Fluff-Slayer: No, they're not all OCs, though I wish I could claim Carth for myself. This is based on the computer game, Knights of the Old Republic. Carth, Bastila, Mission, Zaalbar, Jolee, Juhani and Revan are from the game. Leiraya is my OC, as are the kids. And any family I happen to come up with for her.

I'm very glad you liked it, though. Makes me feel all warm and squishy inside.

JediNemesis: *concert musician bow* I was surprised that it wasn't ridiculous, as my adventures into the ridiculous have been some of my best work. In any case, thanks for the kind words, and I'm glad you enjoyed.

I can't wait to read more responses to this challenge, they've all been great.

 

Wow! DWH that was impressive.
I liked how you managed to slip "Harry Potter" in there.