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Before - Legends What Remains - Obi-Wan/OC, of Padawans and Masters

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by laloga, Jul 28, 2011.

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  1. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Title: What Remains
    Author: laloga
    Time Frame: about nine years prior to "The Phantom Menace"
    Genre: Romance/Angst/Adventure
    Summary: Two teams of Jedi and their apprentices are sent to a distant planet to resolve issues with a galactic terrorist. What ensues will change the lives of both Padawans forever. Featuring my OC, Kalinda Halcyon and Obi-wan Kenobi.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
    Author's Note: I'm pretty active on *another* fanfic site, but have literally just started posting here, so please bear with me while I figure it out!

    We are not saints , but seekers.-Jedi axiom

    History has no beginning, and has no end; there are only markers, significant moments in our lives that we recall later, either in records or our own memories, that give us some sense of where we stand in the scope of the universe. However, as someone who claims to study history's course, I have often asked myself where to begin? I have lived through some of the most turbulent times in galactic history; I feel that it would take several lifetimes to fully comprehend everything that I have witnessed, yet I have only this one. Though greater minds than mine have tackled these arduous subjects, I shall attempt to add to this immense wealth of information my own story-not terribly important, in of itself-which features some of the better-known figures of the Old Republic, of the infamous Clone Wars, and of the Jedi Order. It is my hope that with these words, stored on the Great Holocron, future generations of Jedi Knights may come to a more complete understanding and awareness of the ways of the Force. There are so few of us now, where we once numbered in the thousands. We are scattered grains of sand falling from an open palm, drifting and barren. Yet I know that the Jedi are not extinct. The Force has not abandoned its loyal children to the Dark Side; I know this to be true. It is almost my greatest wish to aid any future Jedi in their efforts to re-establish the Order. And so I arrive again to the question at hand.....where to begin?

    *
    Part One: Bonds


    Music drifted through the Temple, rich harmonies and soaring melodies that seemed to spring from the very Force itself. The sounds were localized in one particular area, the Room of a Thousand Fountains, where a small group of Jedi were creating the music, and a larger number were gathered to listen. Jedi Knight Kit Fisto, a green-skinned Nautolan, was beating an intricate rhythm on a pair of knobby drums, his hands a blur as he kept the heartbeat of the music steady and strong. Master Plo Koon was holding a curved bass cello, creating a rich, deep sound which added a depth to the music and reverberated within the bodies of the listeners and players alike. Jonas Ki was strumming an ion-steel gitar for all he was worth, and his Padawan, Kalinda Halcyon, sat next to him, running a slender bow across the strings of a viol, creating a sound that was filled with remorse and joy. Kit Fisto's apprentice, Bant Eerin added the final layer of melody with a high-pitched, skirling pipe native to her home-world of Mon Calamari.

    The other Jedi in the audience were an assortment of Knights, Padawans, unassigned students, and regular staff, and among them Obi-wan Kenobi and Qui-gon Jinn. In fact, the room was almost filled to capacity, as everyone enjoyed listening to the Force-laden music of the group. It had begun as a lesson for the Padawans in playing together, as each was talented in their own way, but were not used to playing with others, and had grown from there. This particular arrangement had been chosen both for its complexity and for its use of the multi-part harmonies that showcased the talents of the Padawans; the sound of Bant's pipes rose up above the heads of those in the crowd, joined moments later by Kalinda's soaring viol, with the Knights keeping up a steady background.

    Obi-wan was struck, as he always was, with awe at his friends' musical talent; he was proficient in lightsaber combat, naturally, as well as a host of other ?Jedi-like? ski
     
  2. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Good first chapter. I enjoyed the music of the Jedi at the beginning and the set up for the mission sounds interesting.

    Interesting name for a nemesis: Non.

    I'm usually a Siriwan fan, but I'm willing to see where you go with Obi-Wan and your OC.

    :)
     
  3. Niclas

    Niclas Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2011
    I enjoyed your writing and look forward to seeing how this plays out! :)


     
  4. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    I love the little beginning blurb, sometimes things like that, I think can come off a little corny, but it is done so well here, it's really sad and poignant. I never noticed it before; I think it means a lot more to me, now. This is a very sweet start to the story, with the music and the mission and the 'studying'. Very nice :)


    He was distracted for a moment by her warm breath on his ear, but managed to reply after a moment. ?I have no idea. I hope so-I've been a bit bored lately....I could do with a little excitement.?

    ?Now you've done it,? she said with a sigh. ?We're in for a world of trouble now, you just wait.?



    Cute, and nicely written, but so so true :)

    I love the end between them, it's so subtly romantic, and seeing these feelings just now awaken in Obi-Wan is swoon-worthy [face_love] and I love reading it. I can picture her so well, through his eyes, and her shy kiss is just endearing and his teasing for more after is just perfect!

    Love[face_batting]
     
  5. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Title: What Remains
    Author: laloga
    Time Frame: about nine years prior to "The Phantom Menace"
    Genre: Romance/Angst/Adventure
    Summary: Two teams of Jedi and their apprentices are sent to a distant planet to resolve issues with a galactic terrorist. What ensues will change the lives of both Padawans forever. Featuring my OC, Kalinda Halcyon and Obi-wan Kenobi.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
    Author's Note: I'm pretty active on *another* fanfic site, but have literally just started posting here, so please bear with me while I figure it out!

    Chapter Two


    As Qui-gon was packing the last of his supplies, the chime on his door sounded.

    ?Come in.? Qui-gon turned and smiled when he saw his friend and colleague, Jonas Ki. ?I'm about ready,? he said, closing the case. ?Have a seat.?

    The other man nodded absently as he entered the room, but remained standing, clearly lost in thought. Finally, he looked at Qui-gon, his expression grave. ?Do you know where your Padawan is, Qui-gon??

    The larger man shrugged. ?He said that he was going to the Archives, to read up on Echothalia. I warned him not to be up too late, but.....?

    ?That's where Kali is too,? Jonas interrupted. ?Have you noticed anything about their recent behavior towards each other??

    Qui-gon shook his head. ?Nothing alarming,? he said cautiously.

    Jonas sighed and ran his hand through his white-blond hair. ?It might just be me....but I sense something growing between them that is more than a friendship.?

    ?They've known each other for a long time,? Qui-gon pointed out. ?It is expected that their bond will be strong.?

    ?This is more than that, Qui-gon,? Jonas replied, shaking his head. ?I can sense it with Kali, at least. Her thoughts dwell on Obi-wan, constantly. And they are growing more.....familiar in their mannerisms.?

    Qui-gon was silent for a moment, thinking over Obi-wan's behavior the last few weeks. He recalled the concert, earlier that day, when Obi-wan had acted almost....shy to hug his friend after her performance. ?Do you think that they are involved in a romantic relationship?? he said at last.

    ?I can hardly say,? Jonas replied. ?But if it hasn't happened yet, then I feel very strongly that it is going to happen, unless we put a stop to it.?

    ?Agreed,? Qui-gon said, nodding. ?I think it is a more serious matter than they realize.? And Obi-wan should know better, he thought, remembering his own grief over the loss of his beloved Tahl. He was right there with me through all of that; I cannot believe that he'd want to embark on such a journey of his own. ?We'll have to be vigilant during the course of this mission, my friend,? Qui-gon added. ?What kind of transport do we have??

    ?An E class, I believe,? Jonas replied. ?Why??

    ?See if you can't get a J class instead,? Qui-gon said. ?They're smaller.?

    Jonas smiled. ?Easier to keep an eye on things??

    ?Indeed. We'll have to bunk together, except for Kali, but that should make it difficult for them to find any time alone together. Just in case things have progressed to that point.?

    ?Excellent idea,? he said with a nod to Qui-gon. ?Even if it weren't against the Code, she's much too young for such a....diversion. Hopefully we can keep them apart. We should try and talk to them and discover the extent of the situation. It's probably just a passing fancy, anyway.?

    Qui-gon put a hand on his friend's shoulder. ?We can only hope, Jonas.?








    ?Kind of small, isn't it?? Kalinda said as the two teams approached the ship.

    ?It will get us where we need to go,? Jonas replied evenly, not meeting Qui-gon's eyes.

    Since the Jedi were going to take turns piloting the vessel, there was no need for a pilot, and soon they were joining the queue to exit the planet's atmosphere, with Obi-wan and Kalinda at the helm for the first part of the journey.

    ?Well, Kalinda,? Jonas said, leaning against the door to the cockpit. ?Since you're the lone feminine presence, it looks like you'll be getting your own room. The rest of us will have to share.?

    She grinned at
     
  6. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Anytime! ;)

    I love Qui and Jonas talking about them, trying to figure out what to do. So many great lines... I agree they are too young as Jedi for such diversions, but nothing can stand in the way of true love (*teenage hormones) [face_love] I liked the talk between Qui and Obi too. Obi is so earnest (I'm always honest with you) and Qui *should* understand, he's been there! But it's hard when you just don't want the ones you are responsible for to make the same mistakes you did.


    ?Kind of small, isn't it?? Kalinda said as the two teams approached the ship.

    As if on queue, there was a faint tap at her door, and she was beside it in an instant. ?Yes??

    ?It's me,? Obi-wan's voice was barely a whisper.



    And the plan backfires! :D This little moment with them is so beautifully sweet, I just love it. It almost feels like the talks the Masters had only propelled Obi and Kali into each other's arms that much quicker. Ugh, teenagers o_O

    Jonas' story is sad, but important, and important for Kali. He really *should* understand, Kali is just different. And I'm glad she is [face_love] Great chapter!
     
  7. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Interesting chapter. Nice reveal toward the end about the true relationship between Kali and her master...complicates things a bit, doesn't it?

    So, will Obi-Wan and Kali find a way around their masters? Hmmm...[face_thinking]
     
  8. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Title: What Remains
    Author: laloga
    Time Frame: about nine years prior to "The Phantom Menace"
    Genre: Romance/Angst/Adventure
    Summary: Two teams of Jedi and their apprentices are sent to a distant planet to resolve issues with a galactic terrorist. What ensues will change the lives of both Padawans forever. Featuring my OC, Kalinda Halcyon and Obi-wan Kenobi.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
    Author's Note: I'm pretty active on *another* fanfic site, but have literally just started posting here, so please bear with me while I figure it out!







    The planet of Echothalia shimmered azure in the viewscreen, reflecting a similar light across the faces of the two Padawans as they bent across the ship's controls, focused on piloting the small vessel.

    ?This is the Republic ship, J-1138, requesting permission to begin landing procedure,? Kalinda said into the comm unit.

    There was silence.

    Kalinda furrowed her brow, and tried again, to no avail. She glanced at the display, then looked at Obi-wan. ?I'm not picking up traces of any power source on the scanners. It's as if they don't even have power....that's not a good sign?

    ?No, it isn't,? he agreed, and flicked the comm unit that would reach the galley of the vessel, where Qui-gon and Jonas were located. ?Masters,? he said. ?We're about to land, but....there might be a problem.?

    Moments later, both Jedi were in the cockpit, their eyes on the planet before them. ?That doesn't bode well,? Jonas said wryly after Kalinda explained what had happened.

    Qui-gon looked troubled. ?I sense that the situation is more serious than the Council realizes.?

    ?Shall I wait to land until we've contacted the Temple, Master?? Obi-wan asked.

    Jonas shook his head. ?No. I think we should continue on with our original plan, though we must use extreme caution, especially since communications are probably down on the surface.? He looked at Qui-gon. ?I feel that we must keep up the appearance that the Council sent only myself and Kali; you and Obi-wan should stay hidden, for now, though I have little doubt that you will be needed before too long.?

    ?In that case,? Qui-gon said. ?We'll keep nearby.?

    ?Not too close,? Jonas replied. ?Non can be remarkably perceptive....I don't want him to have any idea that there are two teams of Jedi on Echothalia.?

    ?But how will we know if they need help, if our comms won't work?? Obi-wan asked, glancing at Kali.

    Qui-gon put a hand on his Padawan's shoulder, and nodded at Jonas. ?We'll use the Force, my young apprentice. Jonas and I can communicate rather effectively, under certain circumstances. Bring us down in the main city, Obi-wan. I don't want to push our luck with the spaceport.?

    Nodding, Obi-wan began to pilot the craft through the atmosphere and to an open area that seemed to be centrally located in the city of Jerlach, which was itself a relatively small island on the vast ocean that covered most of the planet.

    As they descended, Kalinda took a moment to observe the layout and appearance of the city. It must have been lovely, once, she thought, gazing at the battered structures. They were beautifully wrought, intricate buildings, or at least they had been at one time. Now, tiles were shattered, tall windows were covered with a patchwork of tarps, and stone was cracked and missing large chunks. There was little vegetation, and most of it was sparse and frail-looking, though remnants of massive parks and gardens could be seen from the organization of the trees and shrubs that did remain.

    Once the ship had landed, Jonas and Kali gathered their packs and proceeded to disembark, the taste of the salty sea in the air around them. As she slipped off of the ship, Kali cast a glance back at Obi-wan, whose eyes were on her. She gave him a small wave, and he returned the gesture as the ship's loading ramp closed.

    Suddenly, the sounds of footfalls and shouts met their ears, and Kali reached for her lightsaber automatically, though she was stopped by Jonas, who stretched out his hand to hers. ?Wait, Kali,? she heard him w
     
  9. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon caught! Will they be able to help Jonas and Kalinda when they need it?

    Much danger for all of them ahead, I fear...[face_worried]
     
  10. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Title: What Remains
    Author: laloga
    Time Frame: about nine years prior to "The Phantom Menace"
    Genre: Romance/Angst/Adventure
    Summary: Two teams of Jedi and their apprentices are sent to a distant planet to resolve issues with a galactic terrorist. What ensues will change the lives of both Padawans forever. Featuring my OC, Kalinda Halcyon and Obi-wan Kenobi.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
    Author's Note: I'm pretty active on *another* fanfic site, but have literally just started posting here, so please bear with me while I figure it out!





    Qui-gon had not resisted, so Obi-wan hadn't either, though he did not like being manhandled as several strong Echothalians all but pulled them from their hideout. The young man who had discovered them glared at them almost triumphantly as the Jedi were poked and prodded down the street.

    Holding up his hands, Qui-gon tried to reason with the boy. ?You don't have to force us, we will accompany you without argument.....we mean you no harm, my friend. We are here on a mission from the Senate-?

    ?We've heard all that before,? the boy interrupted, rolling his eyes. ?Your buddies had the same story, so you can save it.? He spat on the ground. ?Stinking Jedi.?

    Obi-wan gave Qui-gon an incredulous look, but Qui-gon remained neutral. ?You must let us go. We are here to help free your people from the grip of a terrorist.?

    Ignoring the Jedi, the boy led them to a battered structure several blocks away, calling out as he approached. ?Rella! We've got some more Republic visitors.? The Jedi were shoved in front of the building, where a woman had come out to see what all the commotion was about. The boy's chest puffed up with pride, and he extended his arm towards his ?prisoners.? ?We found these gundarks skulking around in abandoned cart. They make the same claims as the other two.?

    Rella looked dubiously at the Jedi, then at the young man. ?Soren, why did you bring them to me?? she said with a sigh.

    Sensing an opportunity, Qui-gon spoke up. ?I understand that you are afraid, Rella. I understand that you feel there is no reason to trust anyone, let alone a faceless government that exist halfway across the galaxy. But all that we are asking is for you to listen. We are not asking for your trust, nor demanding your cooperation. All we ask is for you to listen to us.? His words rang through the street, and Obi-wan could see that they had resonated with many of those in the crowd. Soren, though, looked angry.

    Rella tilted her head thoughtfully, her eyes flicking from Qui-gon to Obi-wan and back again, though she seemed indecisive. In response, Obi-wan tried to show that he was compassionate. They are terrified, he thought. They have been so for a long time. It's no wonder they will not trust us. They have no reason to.

    ?Fear has ruled this place for too long,? he heard himself saying. ?It is time to set it aside and reclaim what is yours. That is what we are here to help you do.? He felt a small thrill of elation run through him as Rella nodded slowly.

    ?Very well, Jedi. Come inside; it seems we have much to discuss.? They followed her inside the rickety building, which at one time must have been a market, for there were scattered shelves and displays across the ground that they had to step over.

    Leaping after them, Soren paused only to glare angrily at the Jedi, then turned to Rella. ?How can you trust them? They are liars, can't you see that??

    ?Brother,? Rella said with an exasperated sigh. ?You're getting on my nerves.....? She glared at him, but he looked up at her remorsefully. ?Fine,? she said. ?Come with me, if you're so worried. Just be quiet, okay??

    She led them to the back room, which had once been a warehouse. Now it was filled with broken pallets and upended barrels, with a long table and several chairs in the center. Candles were placed around the room, which provided an ambient, flickering light. Obi-wan and Qui-gon were seated, and Rella handed each of them a pack of juice and a protein bar, insisting that they ea
     
  11. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    ohh I like this story. Please do go on!
     
  12. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Title: What Remains
    Author: laloga
    Time Frame: about nine years prior to "The Phantom Menace"
    Genre: Romance/Angst/Adventure
    Summary: Two teams of Jedi and their apprentices are sent to a distant planet to resolve issues with a galactic terrorist. What ensues will change the lives of both Padawans forever. Featuring my OC, Kalinda Halcyon and Obi-wan Kenobi.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
    Author's Note: I'm pretty active on *another* fanfic site, but have literally just started posting here, so please bear with me while I figure it out!





    ?We're nearly there,? Soren said, his voice breathless as he led the Jedi through the low, winding tunnels. All three of them were hunched over as they hurried, but Obi-wan barely noticed the discomfort. Something is wrong, he thought. Kali is in trouble. He glanced at Qui-gon, whose face mirrored the determination that Obi-wan felt in his heart, though he showed no sign of worry.

    Finally, Soren stopped before an opening at their feet. He put his finger to his lips and pointed down, indicating the direction of their next move. Qui-gon nodded, and motioned for Soren to stay put. The boy pouted, but did so, and the Jedi slipped through the rock opening, and into the cavern beyond.

    The scene that greeted them was chaotic: they arrived just in time to see Jonas thrown backward as an explosion rattled the entire chamber; Kali was lying to one side, blood pooling around her legs, and Non was making a hasty retreat, tossing small explosives across the cavern. Obi-wan felt his heart tighten at the sight of Kali, but he recognized that they had a chance to capture Non, as he didn't seem to know that they were there. Both Jedi raced to follow him, but he turned at the last minute, shaking his finger at them.

    ?Not so fast, my little robed friends,? he chuckled, holding up a detonator. ?I have no quarrel with you.....don't try anything funny, and I'll make your deaths swift as I made his.? He nodded to Jonas, who was still.

    Qui-gon raised his palm to summon the Force, but Kali cried out as he did so. ?No! Don't!? The Jedi glanced at her for an instant, but that was all that it took. Another explosion rocked the air, and Non vanished in the thickening smoke and falling debris.


    [hr]


    Kalinda crawled over to Jonas, her brain refusing to register the pain in her knee, the frightened wails of the Minister's family, or even the mild explosion that had forced Obi-wan and Qui-gon to jump away from Non as he made his escape. All of her attention was on Jonas, whose face was pale and streaked with blood. She looked at the rest of him and almost vomited.

    ?Jonas?? she whispered, cradling his head in her lap. ?Dad??

    His eyes opened, and he looked up at her, a faint smile on his lips. ?My beloved daughter,? he said softly. ?You have made me so happy. I am so proud of you....I want you to know that.?

    ?No,? she said, blinking through the tears that were escaping from her eyes. ?No, you can't leave me....?

    ?You are strong, Kali,? he replied, his voice calm. ?I know that you will be a great Jedi one day. I love you.? His eyes lost their shine, he went still in her arms. Moments later, Obi-wan and Qui-gon were beside her, but she hardly noticed as she clutched her father's body to her, rocking back and forth.


    [hr]


    Obi-wan set the nav computer's course for Coruscant, and slipped out of the cockpit to check on Kalinda, whom Qui-gon had carried back aboard their transport. She was sleeping deeply, no doubt as much from the Jedi's calming Force influence as from the pain meds he'd given her. Qui-gon was performing a vigil over Jonas' body, which they'd managed to remove from the cavern, though it had been difficult. As he watched Kali sleeping, Obi-wan thought back over their departure from Echothalia.

    Soren had been invaluable, as the Jedi were unable to carry out Jonas' body, Kalinda, who was grief stricken and stunned, and the Minister's family, who were paralyzed with fear. The boy had run for help, and returned with citizens and guards alike, wh
     
  13. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Wow, interesting turn of events here.

    It's sad that Jonas died...and Kali is really hurting, and sounding a bit angry and bitter. Is she taking it out on Obi-Wan?

    And Siri is there? Hmmm...



     
  14. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    omg that is horrible. I wonder if there is going to be anything happy in this story!
     
  15. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Part Two: Aftermath

    Three months later....


    ?No Jedi is allowed to take two Padawans, Master Qui-gon. You are aware of that.?

    ?I'm not talking about taking a second learner, Master Windu. I just think that, until a new Master is found for Kalinda, that I could keep an eye on her training now that she is more fully healed; she's worked with me before and she and Obi-wan are of similar age and ability. I am just concerned that she is losing her way.?

    ?Our own counsel we will keep on such matters, Qui-gon,? Yoda said. ?Focus on your own Padawan, you should.?

    ?This discussion is over,? Mace Windu added, his hands folded before him. ?You may go.?

    Qui-gon bowed once, and exited the chamber quickly, his long stride bringing him to the turbolift in a few seconds. As he rode it down to the main level, his thoughts turned again to Kali, and he was glad that he had not told her about his decision to approach the Council on her behalf. Better that I don't get her hopes up, had been his thought at the time as he watched her, sitting alone in a quiet corner of the cafeteria, reading through a stack of datapads as students bustled around her with trays of food. Obi-wan had told him that she spent most of her time alone, either in the Archives or.....well, he wasn't sure. It was clear that the boy was hurt that his friend had been avoiding him, though he didn't speak of it, Qui-gon sensed that something had happened between the two that had widened the rift. If only the Council had agreed, the Jedi thought, his mouth set in a firm line. I know that I could help her.

    Still, it was useless to dwell on the past; besides, he did have an alternate plan. He and Obi-wan had been at the Temple for almost a week now, and while his Padawan was absorbed in classes and lectures today, Qui-gon had made a decision. It was relatively easy to find her; when he reached the Archives, Jocasta Nu gave him a sad smile after his inquiry and pointed towards the rear corner of the massive room. Qui-gon peered behind the final row of shelves and saw Kalinda seated in one of the plushy chairs, her back to him. A stack of datapads towered beside her. Engrossed as she was, she did not notice his presence until he was standing right in front of her.

    ?Hello, Kali,? he said, giving her a warm smile.

    She looked up then and gave him a half-hearted smile in return, setting her datapad in her lap. ?Master Qui-gon.?

    He took a seat next to her, and leaned forward. ?What are you studying??

    ?Nomi Sunrider,? she answered, glancing down at the datapad.

    ?She was a great Jedi,? Qui-gon said with a nod. ?Very powerful and very wise.?

    ?She was married,? Kali added in an offhand way. ?With a baby. Her husband was a Jedi, too.....well, he was one first, then she became one when he was killed.?

    ?I'm glad to see that you have kept your studies up,? Qui-gon said. ?How are your classes??

    Kali shrugged, her hand lifted as she toyed with her Padawan braid. ?Fine. Except they put me with some younger kids for lightsaber practice.? She grimaced.

    ?How is it?? Qui-gon asked, glancing at her left knee.

    Instinctively, she smoothed her tunic over it. ?It doesn't hurt all the time like it did,? she replied. ?But it's not healing like it should. It's taking too long.?

    Qui-gon tried to conceal his surprise. ?The Healers told you this??

    ?I can read my own chart,? she said, a little too sharply. ?And I don't need anyone to tell me what they're all thinking.? She looked at Qui-gon, and he felt a pang as he saw a hardness to her eyes that he had never seen before. ?Did you come here to ask me questions, or to give me encouragement??

    ?I came here because I consider us friends, and I care about you,? he answered. ?Jonas was one of my dearest friends, and I've known you since you were no higher than my knee.?

    She sighed and hugged her arms to her sides. ?I don't want to talk about that.?

    ?I spoke with Master Fisto this morning,? the Jedi said. ?He mentioned that he hasn't heard you play anything in a while; have you bee
     
  16. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    I noticed at the beginning of chapter 3, Qui's voice was perfect, you have him spot on. Love the first little glimpses into Kali & Obi being able to communicate, and also scary Non, good villain. It is interesting Qui and Jonas can communicate... Were they close? I'd love a little one shot backstory!! I know your mind's elsewhere, but an idea...
     
  17. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Again, I like seeing that beginning of Kali and Obi being able to contact each other in the Force, I just love their connection; and the way Jonas and Qui respectively regard them when they discover it is really interesting. Makes me think it's something special... like when Kali says, if all Jedi did this so easily they wouldn't need comlinks, which of course makes me wonder about Jonas and Qui and their past :D I'd love to see just a bit more Jonas, maybe Qui helps him during a difficult time? Say about 16 years ago? :D



    ?I guess you can be flapped, after all, huh??


    Great job with, Non, scary but clever, which is really scarier. The whole scene in the cavern was very tense. And I feel so bad for Kali! ...her knee [face_worried]

     
  18. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    What does Kali have up her sleeve? [face_thinking]

    Are Obi-Wan and Siri getting close, or just becoming good friends? Will there be a rivalry?

    Good chapter...looking forward to more. PM Please? I find I'm having trouble keeping track of all the stories I'm reading, so now I'm requesting PMs.

    Thanks!
     
  19. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Where do I turn when I need cheering up? Kali/Obi, of course! My favorite. Even angsty Kali/Obi.[face_love] But why does life have to be so tough sometimes? [face_tired]

    So, so sad, but I love Obi-Wan's instant, internal concern for her, and I am relieved she at least had a moment with her father, a few words before he passed away. Poor Kali! :_|


    ?I promise, I will never let you down again, Kalinda.?


    :_| Ahhh, a nice thought, Obi-Wan, but a bit of tough promise to keep :(

    I so feel Kali, everything she has to deal with all at once, and feeling out of place at the Temple, though I'm not sure exactly why she didn't want a prosthetic knee... it's hard to imagine what she might be thinking, they seem to be common in this galaxy(?)

    Love, of course, seeing Obi-Wan's natural concern for her, though he has trouble knowing what to (he's still young ;)) I can just see so clearly that he cares. Very, very nice
     
  20. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    ugh poor girl. i just woke up from endless nightmares. I hope she's not going to do something stupid! Great chapter and store!
     
  21. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    serendipityaey: thank you for all of your reviews! Hmmm...a Qui-Gon & Jonas story? I like it!
    obimom: thanks for your reviews! I'm glad you're liking the story so far. I'll try to figure out how to PM, but I don't think I'm "allowed" to quite yet! :oops:
    JediKaren: I appreciate your reviews! Thanks for reading!




    It was easier to sneak out of the Jedi Temple than she'd anticipated; within minutes she was stepping out of one of the staff entrances, having timed the automated droid's movements as it completed its perimeter check. That was too easy for comfort, she thought as she made her way to one of the crossing points where she could hail an air-taxi. I hope getting back in won't be too difficult. She'd figured that she had until about 0400 to return to the Temple undetected, which was about the earliest that any of the Jedi rose to begin their days. After a few harried minutes, a taxi finally stopped, the droid driver hardly giving her a second glance as she slipped inside, giving her desired destination. It was a short ride, and Kali watched the vibrant city lights streaming by as they hurtled through the night. She paid with some credits left over from a mission-Jedi rarely carried any significant amount of money-and made her way back to the nightclub, her stomach churning.

    Inside, it was cleaner than she'd expected, though most of the patrons were of the more unseemly variety, and Kali wondered briefly what Obi-wan would say if he had accompanied her. Probably something about how this is a bad idea, she thought with a grim smile, nodding to a couple of Rutanian females who were giving her the once-over. Truth be told, she didn't look that bad. A trip to one of the supply rooms had outfitted her with passable civilian clothes: dark, form-fitting pants and boots, and a pale gray, sleeveless tunic that accentuated her waist. She had even taken the time to brush her hair, though she hadn't been able to make up her mind how to wear it, so she'd left it loose, disguising her Padawan braid by pinning it across her hairline in what she hoped was a fashionable look. The goal was to appear as un-Jedi-like as possible, and she hoped that she'd done a sufficient job.

    After a few minutes, she approached what appeared to be the maitre'd. He directed her to the rear of the club, behind the stage, where a Besalisk male was leaning against the wall, watching the performance; a pair of Human females were doing a fair approximation of a popular song.

    ?Excuse me, sir,? Kalinda said. ?Where do you sign up to sing??

    The large, four armed fellow gave her a curious glance, then shook his head. ?You don't want to sing here, kiddo. You shouldn't even be in a place like this.?

    She frowned. ?I'm old enough to decide that for myself, I think. How do I sign up?? She met his gaze, and after a moment he shrugged, and handed her a durasheet.

    ?Slow night. You're next. Pick any song from that list. And I'll need your name.?

    ?Kamala,? she replied after a moment's thought, scanning the sheet until her eyes fell on a song that she knew fairly well. She told him, he nodded and pointed to where she was to wait until it was her turn. As she stepped over to the stairs that led to the stage, the Besalisk gave her a wide grin. ?Break a leg!? She gaped at him, and he let out a hearty chuckle, shaking his head. ?Means good luck. Sheesh.?

    Kali smiles sheepishly, and took a deep breath as she was announced. It was exhilarating and wholly unfamiliar, being on the wide stage alone, bathed in the glittering lights from the mirrored globes that hovered above her. The spotlight that shone on her was too warm, and it prevented her from seeing anyone in the crowd clearly, but she found that she didn't really care once the music started, and she began to sing.

    It was an older song, one she had listened to fervently when it had come out about two years ago, staying up into the wee hours with the personal music player that Jonas had given her on her birthday. The melody was complex, but the lyrics w
     
  22. obimom

    obimom Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Interesting turn of events...

    Kali seems to be pursuing a music career, but is there a reason behind it all? Does her hurt knee have anything to do with it (in case she can't continue her training or something?)

    Obi-Wan seems to have turned to Siri (which I personally like [face_blush] ), but is that going to come to a head with Kali eventually, and will he need to "choose", although for a padawan who is supposed to be unattached, he seems awfully busy...:p

    Kali seems like a natural in front of an audience...interesting having Dex be the one to discover her...I guess he doesn't own the diner - at least not yet?

     
  23. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    I love seeing Qui-Gon so concerned for Kali and going to talk to her and check on her. It seems very natural he would care greatly for his friend's padawan after everything that's happened and very like him to want to do everything he possibly could to help her, ie going to the council, :D we know how he feels about that. We've all said it a million times, but he did not get the time he deserved as a character, and I really enjoy seeing him here.

    Everything with Kali was great, you can really sense what she's going through. So sad, and I love the depth of seeing it through Obi and Siri's eyes as well. I always felt Siri was a little callous here, and unfair, but they are still young.

    All the little touches are so interesting to read - Nomi, and the Observational walk, etc. Great job. I sense Kali's going to search out a bit of trouble o_O love this story
     
  24. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    wow...awesome chapter. Very believable. I really like this story!
     
  25. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011

    To those of you who have kindly reviewed: I promise that I will PM and thank you, as soon as I hit my "goal" of 20 posts...I'm still a newbie to this site! But I really, really appreciate the fact that you're taking the time to read and review! It means so much!






    The next three weeks continued on in a similar fashion for Kalinda. In fact, she found that a strange sense of freedom took over her when she performed; she got to choose what songs she played and she got to come and go from the Chrysalis as she pleased. After the first week, she managed to convince the bartender, Lirra, to sing backup, and Dex turned out to be quite handy with a drum kit, which opened up quite a few more options for her. And-best of all-no one knew her. No one looked at her and saw the crippled Padawan whose Master was killed: she was simply Kamala. Lirra, had even brought her a few more changes of clothes so she was able to return the ones she'd ?borrowed? from the Temple.

    One night, after the place had closed and Joyle was happily counting down the till, Kali approached her with a proposition. She stood in front of the woman, clearing her throat.

    ?What is it, girl? I'm doing important work here!?

    Kali smiled. ?I know. That's kind of why I want to talk to you.? As she'd expected, the reference to finances caught the Pantoran's attention, and the woman looked up at her warily. ?I think that it would be really beneficial to the club if you hired some more musicians. It would add so much depth to the sound.....you could even clear out the floor and set up an area to dance!?

    Joyle ran her fingers over the stack of credits that she'd accumulated, and nodded slowly. ?I hear you, I hear you,? she said. ?But will all of these musicians be as....generous as you are with your time??

    ?Doubtful, but I know that with a real band, this place could do a lot better than it is now. All those people who've been coming each night, they're not coming for the atmosphere,? she countered. ?Dex said that he knows some people that would be a good fit, and did you know that Lirra can sing? I mean, she's really good! With a little practice, she'd be great......?

    The Pantoran pursed her lips. ?I'll think about it,? she said gruffly, but Kali knew that she had already decided.

    She grinned at the woman and bid her a good night. After speaking with Dex for a moment, she headed for the Jedi Temple. It was dark and still, as always, but Kalinda had figured out what times she could slip back to her room unnoticed, and she quietly made her way to the stairs, which, while more painful for her knee, was less obvious than the turbolift. Just as she stepped out, she nearly collided with Obi-wan, who looked ragged and tired. He just got back from a mission, she remembered, giving him a hesitant wave.

    His eyes narrowed, but he seemed more confused than annoyed. ?Kalinda? What are you doing out so late?? There was a certain weight to him, as though he had suffered some trauma, though he looked, for the most part, unharmed. Still though, there was something in his eyes that was....different. As she met his gaze, she found herself unable to lie to him.

    Instead, she put her finger to her lips and tugged his hand, pulling him towards her room about ten meters down the corridor. Once the door had shut behind them, Obi-wan glared at her. ? Do you have any idea what time it is? Where were you coming from? What in the stars and galaxies are you wearing??

    She didn't respond for a minute, instead taking a seat on her bed and wiggling out of the heeled shoes that Lirra had given her. Sighing, she stretched out her legs and rubbed at her bare feet. Finally, she looked up at him. Sorry, my feet were killing me after those stairs.?

    He crossed his arms and said nothing.

    Kali stood up and walked over to the small, round window that overlooked Coruscant. Dawn was coming in earnest now, streaking the sky with gold and crimson. ?It's not a big deal. A few nights a week, I play music at a restaurant downtown.?

    ?Without the Counci
     
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