Lit Crawling the New EU

Congratulations! You've been given the job of writing the opening crawl for Episode VII. Of course, RotJ was a long time ago, so rather than worry about setting up the new conflict, your prime directive is to catch casual fans up on what's been happening in the GFFA.

Catch One: the longest crawl thus far is ANH's at 83 words. Yours must be no more than 85, period.

Catch Two: your crawl is a reflection of Disney-era absolute canon, and future novels will be written as such. You can set it as far after Jedi as you wish--5 years, 15 years, 25, 40, 100, 1000--but the more time has passed, the more you have to fit in. If you set it after the NJO, and don't mention the Yuuzhan Vong, then there's a good chance the invasion didn't happen. If you don't mention Anakin Solo, Anakin Solo may not have happened. You could relate the events of Legacy fairly extensively, but lose the entire NR era.

The theme of this thread is prioritization - what are you willing to live without? What do you think new movie fans who've never read the books should absolutely know? How much do you think they're interested in knowing?

Place official entries in quote brackets so they can be more easily distinguished from general conversation. Unlike OSOL, this will be open-ended, and no winners will be declared. But c'mon--whomever gets the most likes will know what's up. To be fair, I'll be adding my own entry in a follow-up post.

 

Whatever the crawl is, I'm pretty sure it'll start with "Once Upon A Time..." instead of our usual "A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away"

 

"Somewhat recently, in a galaxy far, far away..."

 

A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

STAR WARS​

Episode VII​

Phoenix Rising​

Peace! After decades of fighting, the NEW REPUBLIC and the GALACTIC EMPIRE have ceased hostilities. Order and justice have returned to the Galaxy. Meanwhile, LUKE SKYWALKER has rebuilt the long destroyed defenders as the NEW JEDI ORDER. Training these new pupils on the moon of YAVIN IV, he hopes to lead the Galaxy into a brighter future.

Despite this age of prosperity, dark forces gather. An alien threat, the extragalactic YUUZHAN VONG, have begun preparations for a galactic invasion that threatens to consume the galaxy.These beings, untouched by the FORCE, pose the greatest threat the galaxy has ever known.

With the aid of his fellow Jedi Knights, and the SOLO CHILDREN, Skywalker hopes to stem the tide, and protect the galaxy from total annihilation.....

 

set approximately 60ABY (byebye Legacy comics... hehehe)

 

Zandalor, what part of "85 words" was confusing for you?

Edit: Ceiran, that's 87. You both fail.

 

I'm going for roughly 50 years after ABY

A Long Time Ago In Galaxy Far Far Away....
Star Wars
Episode VII
An Alliance Divided

After years of struggle to build a New Republic, alien invasion and a Second Galactic Civil War have brought on the formation of a Galactic Alliance.

A New Order of Jedi Knights has sworn to protect the Alliance. With the matrimony between a Jedi Master and the son of a loyal Imperial the rise of a new Empire has begun.

Now these two orders within the alliance struggle to co-exist.

 

2 words... just 2? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


CooperTFN: Check again... I edited two words out back in the game!

 

*nods benevolently*

 

BOOYAH 68 WORDS.

Actually I wanted to mention Anakin Solo in there and you know, had the words to do it and a number of places I could slot it in, but no matter how I did it, it felt...awkward in the sentence and confusing to refer to both her twin and her younger brother.

So apparently I value Anakin's existence less than I value coherency, clarity and rhythm in a sentence. Damn.

If you like, though, shove, "the death of her youngest brother and", after the second word of the first sentence.

 

Two so far:

Rewrite (canon-tolerant) Scenario – 25 ABY – Retelling of Yuuzhan Vong War (82 words)

Post-Crucible Scenario (canon unchanged) 55 ABY – Reborn Abeloth (82 words)
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

 

Star Wars Episode VII: Legacy Broken
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away…

A hundred years have passed since the Yuuzhan Vong War, which devastated the galaxy only years after the end of the Galactic Civil War, during which Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo, along with their children, Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin Solo valiantly fought against a threat from outside the galaxy. Now the Jedi Order has been rebuilt, the Galactic Alliance has replaced the empire, and a new dark force waits in the shadows…

 

Just to poke at the argument a little (in fun of course)

The crawl is an odd-choice as a preservationist vehicle. It's primary purpose is to sum up the state of the galaxy immediately prior to Scene 01. There's very little room to dictate historical events. I don't think any distance, however vast, between episodes VI and VII would dictate that approach. Certainly Episode IV's crawl is not a summary of what happened since Episode III.

Isn't this an assumption then that everthing not explicity preserved is inherently destroyed? That seems like the opposite likely approach to the everything not explicity destroyed remains (with whatever retcons required). Pure business math would seem to dictate the second.

 

A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY

STAR WARS
EPISODE VII
A NEW THREAT

It has been over a century since LUKE SKYWALKER redeemed his father on the second Death Star. Peace has returned to the galaxy with a new order of JEDI KNIGHTS guarding the universe under the auspices of a NEW REPUBLIC. The GALACTIC EMPIRE, once a force for evil in the universe, has reached an uneasy peace with this new body.

Evil never dies, however, and a new power is on the rise. A cult of Dark Side magicians led by the self-proclaimed Sith Lord, DARTH KRAYT, have begun plotting against the galaxy. CADE SKYWALKER, one of Luke's descendants, has terrible dreams about this dark figure, signalling that their destinies are intertwined.

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Seriously, though I would actually NOT use Cade and Krayt but use a female Skywalker and a new Dark Lord.

 

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Only if Robert Downey Junior plays Cade!!!

 

Forget what I said before; RF wins.

Mech is disqualified.

But seriously - A, clearly this wouldn't be how they actually approach the crawl, and B, I'm not suggesting that things not referenced would automatically go away, just that they would continue to occupy a lower stratum of canon than what is referenced, and therefore could be Rylothed away at a moment's notice. Really, though, I just thought this would be a fun way to suss out what people are willing to lose. And speaking of which...

Finally, someone here is talking my language!

 

Fair enough. I suppose the way I've been looking at it the measure of what yo'd be willing to lose is purely a timeline matter. I envison a sort of sliding timeline, everything before the sequel trilogy is preserved, everything after is lost. In that sense my break point is probably 19 ABY - The Pellaeon-Gavrisom Treaty.

 

Ooh, I get to do the next one.

Star Wars​

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Episode VIII​

The Lost City of the Jedi​

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A new hero has risen, and darkness is spreading across the galaxy.​

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Hidden safely in the Lost City of the Jedi from the clutches of the evil TRIOCULUS, who now holds the dreaded Glove of Darth Vader, Ken and his faithful pet mooka Zeebo must study hard and meet their destiny with the help of their hero, Luke Skywalker, in order to save the galaxy from certain destruction under the three eyed menace...​

Now in video.

(I wish I knew how to make the crawl go slower)

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YOU WANTED PRIORITIES.​

 

I would also accept "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... [1]

[1] see: Star Wars: The Essential Atlas"

 

Oh yes, the crawl is normally three paragraphs, isn't it... been a long time since I've seen a Star Wars movie.

 

...we've gotten somewhat afield from my intentions.

 

Sorry.