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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

For My Soul is Touched and I am Hollow (JA AU Obi/Qui/ now Xan) COMPLETE 5/26/04

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi_Suzuran, Nov 5, 2002.

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  1. ca_tron

    ca_tron Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
  2. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2001
    ~her beanie babies starting getting antsy for another post~
     
  3. GeithJiseo

    GeithJiseo Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 13, 2003
    Up, I say!
     
  4. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Still writing the post, it's taking a long time. :( :_| Also, there will be an epilogue to this, which I'll post at the same time. :D So you'll have two posts to read. :)

    Hopefully I can finish soon!
     
  5. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    CHAPTER XVVIIIXXMMMVVVHURRYUPALREADY!!!

    (PART ONE)

    QUI-GON - "This tri-bond truly has me perplexed."

    XANI - "Me too, you worthless old Jedi hack!"

    The two have a heartfelt laugh over the insult as Obi-wan watches on confused.

    QUI-GON - "Seriously though, we should continue meditating on this unique situation together. The force wills it so."

    OBI-WAN - "But haven't we been doing that for about TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT now?!"

    QUI-GON - "Patience, my young, whiney, and memoryless Padawan. Only through the force will we be able to solve this mystery...and maybe that mystery of the Sith we keep forgetting to work on."

    OBI-WAN - "What we SHOULD do is meditate hard and "will" the force on Jedi Suzuran to finish the dang story!"

    QUI-GON - "Jedi WHO?"

    XANI - (interrupting) "The boy is delusional again. Qui, I think you should seriously think about what I said earlier and rename him Obi-gone."

    YODA - "Enough! Tell you how story ends I will."

    All three of them stare in shock at the sight of Master Yoda...except for Xani who pulls out his lightsaber, only to realize he left it on the previous night and the battery is dead.

    XANI - (says a bunch of things not fit for print)

    YODA - (pulls out a copy of the final two chapters) "Final two chapters, are they. Read them I will, unless bad they are...hee hee!"

    Suddenly, a cloaked ninja appears out of the darkness. She springs into action and wistfully manages to dart through the three Jedi, successfully grabbing the final two chapters and disappearing into the night.

    OBI-WAN - "It's Jedi Suzuran! Stop her before it's too late!!!"

    XANI - "Son, if you think we're about to go on ANOTHER wild chase after a woman after what you put us through, you're dumber than a nerf walking in front of an AT-AT!"

    QUI-GON - "What's an AT-AT?"

    XANI - (realizing he just created a massive EU "continuity error") "Uh...it's an old card game that my dad used to play. If you stacked the cards just right, it became a special super weapon that could catch nerfs. Yes, that's it!"

    YODA - "Worse than Qui-gon's jokes, that excuse was."

    XANI - "Troll!"

    YODA - "Quitter!"

    As the two continue their insults and Qui-gon goes back into incoherent Jedi "meditating mumbling", Obi-wan just looks on heartbroken, knowing that this torment will NEVER end until Jedi Suzuran comes back with the final two chapters of the story. Stay tuned...
     
  6. PadawanEstel

    PadawanEstel Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2004
  7. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2003
    That was hilarious! [face_laugh]
     
  8. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Thank you. ;)

    Hopefully I won't have to write ANOTHER chapter to spur Ms. Suzuran on. Hurry up, woman!!!
     
  9. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    [face_laugh] Up for the official an the inofficial story! ;)
     
  10. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    DB: [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Your little snippet was unbelievably funny. I'm highly flattered that you took the time to write it (even if it was to hound me for a post :p ) when I know you're so busy with Mr. T. Thank you so much! And my favorite part is this:

    XANI - "Troll!"

    YODA - "Quitter!"


    [face_love] [face_love]

    Of course, after such fine prodding, I am moving along as quickly as possible in order to finis the post. I'm up to 10 pages now, and it'll be about another 5 more, so your patience is greatly appreciated. :)

    Thanks, all.
     
  11. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    You're welcome, my dear, but if you don't hurry up, there's gonna be a chapter 2 very soon!!! And this time, super-ninja Jedi Suzuran may not be as successful...muhahahaha!!! ;)
     
  12. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Okay, that does it! I'm writing another chapter...maybe even today.
     
  13. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    [face_blush] [face_blush]

    I've been in the process of editing (17 pages in all), and it's problematic at the moment. :_| I'm sorry for such a long wait, I swear I'll have this post out in a week.

    I promise!
     
  14. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
  15. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    CHAPTER XVVIIIXXMMMVVVHURRYUPALREADY!!!

    (PART TWO)

    Hiding safely amongst an entire squadron of ysalamari disguised as salami in a small deli shop in the city of Coruscant, super ninja Jedi Suzuran finally has the opportunity to finish her story that she successfully stole from Master Yoda.

    JEDI SUZURAN - (starts to read the script). Okay, let's see where I left off. Ah, yes...the first change I'm going to make is that Master Yoda dies a horrible death in an "accident" for stealing my script! Muhahahahaha!!! And that little crybaby Obi-wan is going to...

    She is interrupted by the sound of someone coming through the deli entrance.

    JEDI SUZURAN - (to herself) Shoot! A customer. Time to go to work.

    She gets up from behind the counter and is shocked to see before her a large, ominous figure in a black robe and a dark helmet.

    JEDI SUZURAN - (visibly nervous) Uh, hello, can I help you sir?

    The ominous man speaks - My name is Darth Real Life and I'm here for some salami. (the hiding ysalamari beneath the counter are getting visibly nervous now)

    JEDI SUZURAN - Which type of salami would you like? We have several types to...

    DARTH REAL LIFE - (interrupting) ALL of them. And I want all of them sliced thin, very thin. It's hard for me to get any solid food through this stupid mouth vent of mine.

    JEDI SUZURAN - (to herself) This is going to take FOREVER! How will I ever get my story done now?! Oh well, the customer comes first, I guess. *sighs*

    Jedi Suzuran takes out one of her best deli knives and goes to grab the first salami/ysalamari from the deli counter. Well, without getting too graphic, I think you can sort of guess that each of these salami/ysalamari are going to suffer a very slow and painful death. Jedi Suzuran offers Darth Real Life a piece as the cutting continues.

    DARTH REAL LIFE - (as he sucks the piece through his mouth vent) Yum, this salami sure is tasty! Just make sure you slice each piece thin! Otherwise I'll force-choke you, sister!

    Jedi Suzuran sighs again as she knows the script to her story has once again been delayed, possibly alienating forever those who have waited so patiently for the end. She thinks to herself "maybe they'll be less upset if I send them all some salami/ysalamari to snack on while they wait." But then she remembers that Darth Real Life wants all of it. "I hope this fool plans on paying for all of this!"
     
  16. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
  17. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    DB [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That was hilarious. Love DRL with the mouth vent. :D

    Well, I said I'd have the post within a week, and I was able to do this. Editing this was hard, and I'm still not completely confident about it, but if I keep hesitating, it'll never be posted.

    So, I give you the finale, epilogue and all. I hope you like it. *wibbles*

    ~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter XLIX



    The last time he had walked inside the miles of Temple hallways, he'd been a very angry, hurting young man on his way to what had been termed an "ordinary" mission to a planet called Telos. He had given a curt good bye to Shi-Ara just before his take off, itching to snub her; their relationship had been strained due to the repercussions of him breaking off their latest fling, which had happened at Qui-Gon's request. The other friends he'd had had not been on planet, and he had not cared enough to say anything to them anyway. As he'd walked behind Qui-Gon, he had idly wondered if he would be knighted upon his return, if he would pass the test (he had immediately figured out it was a test). His thoughts had been more ironic than he'd realized.

    He walked beside Qui-Gon now, Obi-Wan on his other side, striving for a cool expression. The very walls of the place were exerting a pressure he never wanted to experience ever again. It was not painful being here - yet. He knew that the real turmoil would be when he faced the Council. He would remain calm. He would not allow his weakness to show. He was Xanatos deCrion, and he was superior to those lordly idiots.

    They soon reached the stately doors to the Council Chambers, which were guarded by two young Knights. The man on the left did not spare him a glance, but the man on the right gave him a cursory once-over, then ran his eyes up and down the length of his frame. His eyebrow twitched ever so slightly at the perusal.

    "Xanatos? Xanatos deCrion?"

    He stiffened. He recognized this man.

    "Is that really you? What are you doing here?" The Knight looked cheerful, not disgusted or puzzled as to why the "Jedi failure" (oh yes, he'd known the way the Temple gossip had smeared his name - Shi-Ara had been most thorough in providing information) was walking such hallowed halls. After his departure, he had been made into the Temple nightmare, to scare the initiates and younger padawans into obedience (the masters too).

    "I'm here on business."

    "Really? It's been so long since I've seen you." He smiled.

    His eyebrow was on the verge of twitching again as he thought about Caulin's attitude. No shock, no disgust, no holier-than-thou air. Hmm. Was he actually missed? What a repulsing, yet strangely humbling idea; he had never dreamed that anyone other than Shar had missed him. "It's been a long time since I've seen you too, Caulin."

    "After your meeting, may we talk? I'd love have a chat, if you've the time."

    He mentally shrugged. Sounded harmless enough. Caulin had been his friend ever since the Crèche. They'd never been very close (Shi-Ara had taken care of that), but they had been very good friends all throughout their padawanship. "Of course, for a bit." Xanatos wondered if there was any "safe" subject they could really talk about. He doubted it.

    "Wonderful. Well, go right inside, Master Jinn. The Council is expecting you."

    The doors opened and Qui-Gon went in first, with Xanatos bringing up the rear. He tossed his shoulders back and submerged himself in calmness. He would not humiliate himself. He would not.

    They came to a stop in the middle of the room, in front of Yoda's chair. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed. He did not. This was going to be a long, long process.





    "Relieved are we to see you both, Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi. Long it has been since you have been in the Temple."

    "Yes, Master. I have brought him back, just as I said I would."

    Yoda nodded, but his large eyes had shifted to Xanatos. "And you have brought your former padawan with you. Padawan deCrion."

    Xanatos said nothing.

    "It was
     
  18. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    Epilogue



    "Two contract negotiations, one ball, five refreshment parties? Gods, how does he manage to stay sane going to those things?" He threw the invitation, embossed on metal paper, into the far corner of the desk.

    Darew leaned back in the chair, propping his feet up on the desk. He read through the initial stock information; it seemed trading was rather light this morning. Offworld was, as usual, doing quite well. He had never realized that he had a bit of a brain for business. Being friends with Xan had certainly made him rather talented. He laughed, settling more comfortably into the plush seat.

    "Get your feet off my desk, that's my exclusive property. You might scuff it."

    His eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Xan!"

    "The one and only." Xanatos strolled to the desk, then poked at Darew's calves. "Out. My desk."

    He got to his feet, his mouth splitting into a huge grin. "It's good to see you back."

    "Yes, yes." Xanatos slid into his chair, and plopped his feet onto the desk. "The world couldn't live without me."

    "Well, I-" He caught a flash of brown near the door and turned. Darew's hazel eyes widened as they took in the two new visitors into Xanatos's private domain. They were very familiar.

    "Xan?"

    Xanatos did not hear him, he was scrolling through his data pad, skimming all the relevant financial news about his assets. "Hmm, that's a tidy profit, wouldn't have thought of that... oh, good one there... not so much loss here..."

    "Xan?"

    "A perfume company? Wonder if they'd name a fragrance after me. 'Scent of Xan'. Hmmm. I like it!"

    "Xan!"

    He looked up. "Eh? What, Darew? Can't you see I'm busy plotting evil schemes?"

    "I'll take notes later," Darew said dryly. He gestured to the two Jedi. The boy was looking out the spacious window at the wonderful view outside, while the older one, Master Jinn, was taking in all of the luxury about the office. "Care to explain the story behind our visitors?"

    "Not just visitors," the boy said, turning briefly to meeet his eyes.

    "What?"

    "You heard him."

    "No, I don't think I did."

    "This is Qui-Gon, and that's Obi-Wan. You should know who they are now."

    "I had an idea, yes. Pardon me for my rudeness, but why are they here?"

    Xanatos put down the data pad. "Qui-Gon, pull up a chair, you too, Obi-Wan."

    "I'll stand, thanks," Obi-Wan replied, still fascinated with the window.

    "Suit yourself." He gestured to his friend. "You might want to sit down as well."

    Darew sat at the edge of the desk. "Well?"

    "This could take a while," Xanatos warned.

    "I have all the time in the universe," he said, smiling.

    "Well, it's like this. We were at the Temple..."


    FIN
     
  19. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 22, 2002
    And that's it. The end.

    I'll give out proper thank yous later, but I'm grateful for everyone who ever commented or read this story (lurker or not). Your faith that I would finish this helped me out immensely, as well as all your comments.

    Most grateful thanks to my master obi_ew, whose portrayal of Xanatos and Obi-Wan helped me find the courage to start this in the first place. *bows to Master*

    In short, I thank you. :) [:D]
     
  20. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    =D= I love the way you ended this! Of course now I find myself intrigued to know how Qui and Obi adjust to life outside of the Temple. ;) Wonderful journey you have taken us on Padawan . Thank you for the kind words. :)

    Another little sycophant to praise the Council, Xanatos's voice whispered in his ear. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, ignoring the words. [face_laugh]


    That's our Xan! =P~
     
  21. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    That was an unexpected ending- I love it!
     
  22. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Obviously I'm missing something here because I didn't get the ending!!!

    Now I have to go re-read the whole story, grrr!!! I know it has something to do with the flowers (I think), but since it took 47 YEARS :) for this story to be written, I've forgotten something.
     
  23. Darth_Bog

    Darth_Bog Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Seriously, I missed something with the ending...can anybody help me out?
     
  24. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Great ending JS! :)
     
  25. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2003
    I loved the ending, Su. :D At first I thought I wanted them to stay but it seems more fulfilling for them to tell the Temple to go and stuff it. :p

    Congrats on finishing a wonderful story. =D= This is one of my favs, and not just because I'm obsessed with Xanatos. :p

    (and the flowers ... Shar was the first to tell Obi about them, right? That was when they first met?)
     
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