Beyond - Legends Freaky Skywalkers (AU - L/M H/L A/P Obi, OCs) [By Briannakin & Hazel] COMPLETE FEB 17

ARTOO!!! YES!!!! And of course, the twins. Hmmm... I wonder if it affected the entire Jedi temple or just people that the twins are connected to? Dying of laughter. Dying.

 

the-Naboo-Council: That Jaina line is my favorite.



Book-Geek: Talk about laughing at other people's expense.



Jade: I love kookyness.



Jedi_Lover: Nah, not necessary. They know who they are.



Misty: I think Luke is terrified of that.



taramidala: Thank you very much!



JediMara: Okay, fine. Here's the list: Luke <-> Mara; Han <-> Anakin; Leia <-> Padmé; Artoo <-> Obi-Wan; Threepio <-> Shmi
(<-> this means switch)



ginchy: Thanks, ginchy!



Curtis: It just affected the family (we're counting the droids and Obi as family too). Ben and Jaina didn't switch because their too young and we didn't want to scar them for life. Let's just say the Force protected them or something.





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the classic duo has returned to humor us with more.

I wanna be on the PM list. Great job. I had to restrain myself so i didn't fall out of my chair laughing.

 

QueenBee: Yes, we are back and crazier than before. Thanks!




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the-Naboo-Council: LOL. That Jaina like is my favorite in this fic. Thanks.

Book-Geek: Artoo is going to have some fun, everyone else? not so much.

Jade: Lol. Thanks. Kookyness is the whole point of this fic.

Jedi_Lover: Lol. YOUR confused? Try writing this stuff

Misty: Hilarity is what we do best.

taramidala: Thanks.

JediMara: see Hazel?s reply

ginchy: Thanks. The R2-Obi swap is my second favorite swap. Luke and Mara is my first.

Curtis: It?s just people who the twins are close to.

Jedi_QueenBee: LOL. Yup, I roped Hazel into another one of my crazy schemes XD but I did it so this fic would be twice as loonie.


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Chapter Three

"Oh, my! How did this happen to us, Mistress Shmi? I simply do not understand." Threepio moaned, causing Shmi to almost smack him. It wasn't enough to be stuck in the protocol droid's body, she had to hear his complaints too? If anyone had the right to complain in this crazy mess it was her who was now stuck in a metal body. And Master Kenobi, who was also suck in a much smaller metal body and could only beep about it. And her brother, who was now carrying twins.

Okay, maybe ther situation wasn't that bad after all.

Kriff that! It was that bad.

She was the one who had been tasked with finding the cursed astromech in a Jedi Master's body.

* * *

Artoo was one happy little droid. Now that he was inhabiting a human body he was getting to do all he had ever wanted. That included drinking heavily in the sleaziest cantina in Coruscant's inferior levels and picking up that hot Twi'lek over by the counter.

"Hey, baby!" He sneaked up behind her and tried to put one arm around her shoulders.

"Leave me alone, you sleemo!" The young Twi'lek exclaimed loudly and pushed him away.

As Artoo was about to insist, a huge Devaronian and a Gand came around to stand between him and the Twi'lek. "You heard the lady, chump."

"You two stay out of this," Artoo puffed up his chest and unclipped Obi-Wan's lightsaber, waving it in front of him. "Do you know who I am? I am Jedi Master Artoo-Deetoo and I will slice you up if you don't get out of my way."

* * *

Just as Shmi and Threepio arrived at the cantina just in time to see Artoo being tossed out the door.

"I AM NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS PLACE," he yelled at the bouncers.

"Artoo, what did you do?" Threepio asked in Shmi's voice.

"Nothing you wouldn't do if you were in my place."

"I seriously doubt that." Shmi countered in Threepio's voice.

"What are you two doing here?" Artoo asked them suspiciously even though he knew the answer.

"We got a comm that you were down here and we came to get you." Shmi told him, trying to fuel her tone with authority but falling miserably. She just sounded like a prissy protocol droid.

It took Artoo exactly two seconds to decide on a course of action. Then he smirked mischievously and ran away shouting over his shoulder, "YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST."

Shmi and Threepio groaned in unison and knew they had no choice but to run after him.

* * *

At the same time, Han and Leia were arriving at the Chief of State's office. Leia's parent's had an important meeting that day with several ambassadors and they would have to do their best to stand in their shoes. Padmé had offered to cancel the meeting, but Leia, having trained as a Jedi Diplomat, felt she could handle the task and was actually looking forward to it.

Even Han was willing to go along with it. He was now dressed in Anakin's formal Grand Master robes and was having a kick out of being saluted as the Grand Master. He had never gotten this much respect before.

"Hey, Leia, I think I almost got it." He said, while pointing his hand towards a vase and acting concentrated. Another thing the Corellian was finding immensely funny was the thought of being able to touch the Force. He had spent the entire trip trying to levitate things and had even attempted to pull a Jedi mind trick on an unsuspecting guard. He hadn't quite succeeded yet, but was optimistic.

This time the vase actually trembled.

"Cut it out, Han!" Leia admonished him. "We need to prepare for the meeting."

"We have time," he told her and then his eyes rested on her and he started moving closer. "You know, we have plenty of time and we never have been here before."

When Han finally reached her, he ran an enticing finger down her neck and towards her chest.

"WHEW!!!" Leia jumped back and away from him. "Stop that!"

"What!? I'm your husband, Leia."

"But you're in my father's body. It's gross, Han."

"But we've never done it here." He whined in a very Anakin way.

"And we never will. Stay away from me!" Leia demanded, standing behind her mother's chair as if seeking protect

 

If Callista knows what's good for her she'll lay off of Luke and be a good girl. I cringe every time I read her nick name since I believe that it's the same as how my name is pronounced.

R2 is failing miserly at being a human, Han and Padme want to make out with their spouses and Anakin and Leia think it's gross, which it is, Luke is having meltdowns, Mara wants to kill Callista and 3PO and Shmi are miserable.

Han is going to be mad when he finds out that Anakin took his ship and Anakin is going to be mad that Han was trying to use the Force in his body.

Aimee and Ayden have probably been caught.

 

This is getting way too disturbing. Yikes! And you had to throw in Callista. At least Mara/Luke told her off!

 

If anyone in the Sky/Solo family wrote their memoirs - and if they included the big swap, they'd be put away in the looney bin as totally crazy

"The Day I was a Droid" rofl

And Lukie-pookie bear doesn't want to go into even false labor

This is the bomb in the funness department!

 

ROFL! Jedi Artoo-Detoo! Oh, gosh and a Force-sensitve Han! The galaxy is doomed if he ever does figure out that Jedi Mind trick...

Callista, take some friendly advice and run. Run fast.

If anyone had the right to complain in this crazy mess it was her who was now stuck in a metal body. And Master Kenobi, who was also suck in a much smaller metal body and could only beep about it. And her brother, who was now carrying twins.

Okay, maybe ther situation wasn't that bad after all.



Don't know if this is a good thing or not, but I can seriously see Obi-Wan dressed how you described screaming at Shimi and Threepio to catch him.

Poor, poor hormone-filled Luke. He will be the happiest when they switch back.

 

Misty: Don't worry about Callista, she won't be bothering Luke again. As for all the others, yes they are having a very bad day.



Jedi_lover: Yes, we know how much you love Callista.



Jade: I think that, if anyone of the Skywalkers/Solos were to write their memoirs, they would remember to forget to mention this day.



Book-Geek: I think it had always been Artoo's secret desire to be a Jedi.
It's a good thing that you can picture that scene so clearly and Luke will be extremely happy when they switch back.




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PM list me! PM list me! Poor Han and Padme. So we all know the prudishness actually comes from the Skywalker side! Haha. Beat down that Callista! No touching Mara... I mean Luke.

 

Ha! Poor Artoo, he finally gets use of a functioning male body and he's rejected by everyone. I laughed when Anakin turned around and saw Leia's face trying to get him to do happytimes. I love this story! And ha ha to Callista *pokes out tongue at Callista*

 

Custis: Glad you're enjoying our craziness.



LVB: I feel very sorry for Artoo in this story, he had such high expectations. Thanks a lot!




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Hey guys. I wasn?t going to even turn on my computer today due to a headache, but my stupid friend needed me to email him a document, so here I am. No individual replies from me

Chapter Four

Shmi had not the time to settle down and take a deep breath upon arriving home before a new complication of her situation assailed her. This particular complication came in the form of a comm call from a close friend of hers, confirming their date for that evening. She thought about rescheduling, of course, but their relationship was a new thing and she worried that he might think she wasn't interested anymore.

What to do? What to do?

If only there was a masquerade that they could attend together. But unfortunately, there was no such party and Shmi was now faced with only two options - the first was to show up in Threepio's body and with an excellent explanation that did not freak out her friend; the second was to have Threepio go in her stead. She wasn't sure which was worse.

But since there was no way she was letting her date see her trapped inside a golden protocol droid, her second choice would have to do.

She was in the process of trying to coach Threepio to make him sound and act less prissy when Luke and Mara arrived to drop off Obi-Wan before heading out to their birthing class.

The effect was instantaneous since, as soon as Obi-Wan laid his eyes on Artoo and vice-versa, a roar of tweets and shouting took over her audio receptors.

All Shmi could do was groan.

* * *

This was the twelfth time in the past hour that Leia had to kick Han under the table. The meeting was dragging and Han could not seem to stay awake long enough to hear a full sentence.

And since he was quite literally standing in for the Grand Master of the Jedi Order, this was a big problem.

'Wake up, Han.' She typed on her datapad and hit send.

'I'm trying.' He responded in the same manner.

'Try harder.'

'I am. But these guys are way too boring. Hey, maybe I should liven things up with my new Force tricks. I should throw something at Fey'lya's head.'

'DON'T YOU DARE.' She threw him a look from across the large meeting table.

'You're no fun.'

'I'm not supposed to be fun. I'm supposed to be the Chief of State and you're supposed to be the Grand Master, so behave.'

'Most boring job ever. I know, let?s play tic-tac-toe.'

"No! BEHAVE, Han.'

'Ah, come on princess. Don't be a spoilsport.'

This time Leia kicked him so hard, he actually jumped up on the chair.

"Is there something wrong Grand Master Skywalker?" Borsk Fey'lya asked in his usual snobbish tone.

"As a matter of fact," Han said, trying to sound like his father-in-law, "I just got a kick... I mean warning from the Force and I need to go."

"Alright then, if you must I'm sure we can continue without you."

As he walked out, Han made a point to ignore his wife's glare. It helped that she was now wearing her mother's face.

* * *

In one of the smaller rooms of the Halls of Healing, a Jedi Healer led a birthing class for prospecting Jedi parents. Its goal was to help the parents deliver the Force-sensitive children with a minimum trauma to the child, since it was now believed that the birthing experience was particularly hard on the Force-sensitive newborn and could leave marks for life. It was a new age thing.

"Alright parents, now the coach will sit behind the mother-to-be and gently rub her back and soothing her while the mother transmits her calm to the baby."

Mara did as instructed, taking what would have been Luke's place if he wasn't now occupying hers.

"Now mothers, pace your breathing," the Healer continued.

Taking the Healer's instruction to heart, Luke began the exercising breaths he had always helped Mara with. "Hssss, hssss, uffff, uffff," he went on, wondering to himself why did his previous sessions with Mara always ended up with her shouting at him to shut up. "Hssss, hssss, uffff, uffff." He looked up at her trying to give her a reassuring smile while continuing his breathing.

"Take it easy the

 

Sorry about the headache Bri.

The birthing training session was a riot and Han acting up in the meeting

 

Yikes. Poor Shimi. Hopefully Threepio will catch on quickly. Poor Luke. Well, actually like poor Mara, because Luke will never want to risk a chance of getting her pregnant again, now that he knows what she and her body goes through.

Adored Han and Leia arguing through the meeting. Han's 'I felt something in the Force' excuse to get out was wonderful!

 

If Mara wants more kids in the future she is going to have to convince Luke. I don't think he is ever going to want Mara to suffer like that again. I love Han. He's a smart guy by making his escape.

 

Shmi has a date? This could be bad if she sends 3PO in her place.

Han is a bad actor.

Poor Luke and Mara.

Headaches are the devil's hand crafted tool to torment us. I've learned long ago to do something about a headache before going to bed or else I'll wake up at some unholy hour with a head splitting one.

 

I hope your headache is gone, Bri!

Another fabulous chapter. Who is Shmi going on a date with? I reckon she should just ditch--Threepio is not going to be helping her on the romantic front!

Luke's trademarking whining has a place in Mara's hormonal body!

 

Yes, of course Shmi has a date. And getting C3PO to act less prissy is like asking those twins to stop pranking people. Catch those twins! Poor Luke. Mara's had time to slowly adjust to the insanity of the pregnancy, Luke got tossed in without a liferaft. These guys need to learn from the experiences they're having and just STAY HOME. Though it wouldn't be nearly as funny (or cringe-worthy).

 

Ladies, this is toooooo funny. I was cracking up as soon as Callista came near 'Luke'. She'd best learn to keep her hands to herself!! And poor hormone-filled whiny 'Mara'. Tooo funny.

Also, Artoo. LMAO!!!!

This body-swap is toooooo fun. Can't wait for more!!!

 

Jade: Thanks, Jade!



Book-Geek: Yeah, fortunately is a pretty good sum when children are concerned.



Jedi_Lover: Yes, Han thought it better to leave before he gave the big secret away.



Misty: You'll know more about Shmi's date in the next chapter.



LVB: Shmi's date is an OC and she doesn't want to cancel.



Curtis: Exactly, poor Luke! Unfortunately staying hone is really not an option.



ginchy: Thanks, Ginchy!



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Chapter 5


After a short yet awkward flight, Anakin and Padmé landed on Caamas and hurried to Master Yoda?s office. They did not want to run into their two daughters, Aymee and Ayden, and distract them from their studies.

When they rushed in to his office, Yoda was nowhere to be seen. A smell lingered in the air.

Padmé put her finger under her nose, trying to be polite about the horrid stink. ?First of all, what is that smell? And secondly, where is Yoda??

Anakin simply plugged his nose. ?I think we will find the answers to both in his chambers,? he said, making his way into the mess of an office. He swam through the mountains of flimsy to the back and crouched down. ?Master Yoda?? Anakin called into a Yoda-sized hole in the wall.

?Do you think he?s in there?? Padmé asked from above.

?I think so, Leia,? Anakin replied, going on his hands and knees to crawl into the former Grand Master?s chambers.

Padmé kicked her husband in the bum. ?I?m Padmé!? she reminded him.

?Sorry Padmé,? he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Padmé, who had also gotten on her knees to enter the private chambers, poked Anakin in the rear.

?Padmé!? Anakin shouted. He stopped suddenly, causing her to bump her face into his butt. ?Wha? What is with you and Han?s butt??

?It contains your immature brain! Besides, I miss yours.?

?Oh,? Anakin said simply. ?Well, as soon as I get mine back, it?s all yours.? He then exited the tunnel and thought he would be able to crouch. He was wrong. He hit his head against the ceiling of Yoda?s chambers. ?Ouch.?

They then heard a shrill scream. ?Intruders! Intruders to my home!?

Oddly ? but thankfully ? the small green Jedi did not come running with his lightsaber. Anakin looked at Padmé, confused. ?Master Yoda? It?s Anakin and Padmé Skywalker, where are you?? Anakin had decided it best to reveal to Yoda that they were Anakin and Padmé, since it would prove their story, besides, Anakin knew that Yoda would be able to sense their presences.

?Bed chambers, I am! Fallen, I have. Get up, I can not!?

?Oh dear,? Anakin mumbled as he began crawling. They got to the bedchambers and found Yoda on his bed. ?Hey! I thought you fell and couldn?t get up??

?The Force, I have,? he said, getting off the bed and clunking Anakin on the head with his gimerstick.

?Ouch! What was that for??

?Lied to me, you have. You are not Anakin and Padmé! You are Indiana Jones and a diet system spokesperson!? Yoda then started beating them both with his gimersick.

Anakin and Padmé tried to reason with the ancient Jedi Master, but soon decided the bruises were not worth it.

After running for their lives from a surprisingly fast old creature, Anakin and Padmé reached the Millennium Falcon.

?You know, I think I have figured out why I am so attracted to you in Han?s body. You really are like that guy that plays Indiana Jones,? Padmé sighed wistfully.

?You mean Han looks like that macho-holo-star.?

?Yeah, but you?re the one with the sexy personality.?

Anakin put his head in his hand. ?Padmé, I love you dearly and I know it has been too long since we have seen each other because of that stupid mission, but please stop flirting with me while you are in Leia?s body!?

* * *

?Why did we have to go to this stupid holo?? Artoo-Deetoo mumbled as he popped another piece of popping corn in his mouth.

Shmi tried to make her face look menacing, but then realized she was now made of medal. ?Because, when Dimitron commed said he wanted to see the new Nee Liamson holo, I knew it was perfect for this shavity situation. Going to a holo meant very little socialising for Threepio to kriff up.?

?This Liamson guy looks too much like the late Master Qui-Gon. It creeps me out.?

?Seriously Artoo-Deetoo? You woke up in a human?s body this morning and an actor creeps you out??

Suddenly, See-Threepio turned around and pressed a finger to his lips. ?Shhhh!? He then turned around to snuggle up to Dimitron, just like Shmi had instructed him to.

Shmi groaned.

?Is it just me, or is Golden-Prissy-Pants enjoy

 

?Bed chambers, I am! Fallen, I have. Get up, I can not!?



He needs life-alert.


The poor Skywalkers and Solos. They'll never be able to look each other in the eye again!!