Phx PFF Kids Quotables

Yeah, me an' my cousin have lost a few umbrellas to lightsaber duels....

 

Just don't ever use ski poles... My thumb will never be the same

 

We're driving down a street looking at lights and we come upon two houses across the street from each other. They both have nativity scenes.

Christy: Hey, they forgot to put baby Jesus in the cradle on that side!

Grammie: Well, he hasn't been born yet. They're waiting until Christmas Day to put him out.

Christy: I guess Jesus only is alive on the other side of the street.

 

Christy: Mom. When we get home we have to get the milk ready for Santa.

JADA: Did you buy the cow?

Christy: [sigh] Oh boy [sigh] Mom, you know we have milk in a carton, we don't need a cow.

JADA: What about a little cow?

Christy: Is Santa going to drink from the cow?

 

Christy saw the band Audio Adrenaline on TV and saw the guitarist with the mohawk:

CHRISTY: He's a cockatoo!

Then I had to explain that Mommy used to look like a cockatoo! [face_shocked]

 

Dogme went flying through the house to the front room and started barking her head off. Christy and I followed and Dogme was barking at another dog walking by.

CHRISTY: She's just barking at another g - o - d.




[face_shocked]

 

At the dinner table talking about a friend who is about to have a baby:

ME: So I told her that if I ever had another one, I'm not going near a hospital or birthing center until I'm 2 minutes apart. All they want to do is strap you down and put a monitor on you to monitor the baby's heart rate.

Christy: A monitor? Is that why I'm so silly?

 

I forgot to post this one....

/niece opens her Xmas presents, shouts with glee at the Care Bears and thanks me profusely for the Leap Pad books... Then she starts looking around at the rest of the presents, asking if that's her name written in cursive on the other presents/ Noticing that she is distraught, I say to my niece, "What's the matter Alyssa?"

A confused expression falls over her face... ? "Where's my Star Wars?" I thought for sure my borther was going to come unglued! So, at this point I am 5 for 8 on the corruption of the nieces and nephews

 

I don't have kids but I do have a little brother. When he was really young I read "Chicken Little" to him.

Me: Chicken Little went to warn the farmer and said, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling."

Me: What do you think the farmer said to THAT?

Aaron: Holy ***T, a talking chicken!

 

Ah, young children learning to read make for much amusement! Here is the latest from Christy reading "The Life of Christ" children's pop-up book aloud to Dogme:

"Jesus lived in Nazareth when he was a wig" [face_shocked]



How she got wig from young man I'll never know!

 

The best quote I have ever heard is when Jacob (I can NEVER spell his name right) Queenie's child was talking to me over the phone. I got the usual eh and unghs and the occasional er but towards the end of the call he said very clearly bye-bye and love you manda. HOLY CRAP! I actually cried as Queenie got back on the phone.

What can I say, Ima Sap as well as a Princess.

 

Christy just answer the phone. Here was the conversation from her end:

"Hello . . . who is this? . . . you want to talk to my mom? . . . are you trying to sell her something because she won't buy it . . ."

 

Christy and I were playing with her Barbie doll and her stuffed Artic Hare named "Bunny". I asked her the name of her Barbie and then asked her if she had named any of her Barbie's Bunny?

Christy: Mom, Bunny is a boy's name! [face_shocked]

 

blame that on bunny, jada.

there was a time when buffy was a boy's name. ah, the good old days...

 

Aunt Jenn... When am I gonna be old enough to smack him with my lightsaber?

 

Being in the middle of moving and resettling, the kids are adjusting ok, but still get clingy. We stayed with OW's mom for the first three nights. Jessica got a Disney princess play tent for Christmas and this is now residing over her toddler mattress (her own wee room). We moved kit and kaboodle to a friends basement, but visited mom the next night. Poor Jessica was soo tired and cranky. At the beginning of the night, she had a session of time out on Grandma's bed. I went in to check on her and found her stripped to her skivvies and waiting patiently.

Her: Mommy, we forgot my jammies and tent.

Me: What are you talking about?

Her: I'm so tired, Mommy, where are my jammies and blanky?

This is followed by some wailing and sniffling. I felt so bad. The kids are being good, but not used to the shuffling around.

She thought that we were coming back to stay at her Grandma's and was so upset that we'd forgotten all the essential items that made up her bed.

 

^been there, done that

 

Christy: (holding up the TV Guide) What's this Grammie?

Grammie: It's the TV Guide.

Christy: No, Grammie, it's the TV Girl, see (points to a picture of a girl on the cover).

 

I have found out where this quote came from:

So I'm helping Obey pack and move and little Jessica comes around a corner...

Jessica to Void: "Have you killed anybody ?"

Stunned Obey pause....

Obey: "I guess somebody has seen daddy play too much ghost recon."

My sweet Jessica, not warped by Daddy's Ghost Recon killing was instead quoting Lilo & Stitch when Lilo asked Mr. Cobra Bubbles, ""Have you killed anybody ?"


And now we have the truth.

 

Has she started "Stitch" talk? All the kids here are doing it and I'm ready to apply liquid bandage to their lips.

 

No Liam and Kyla talk like Stitch enough.

 

my little bro is doing stitch talk. its so annoying!

 

What's the problem with movie influences? My mom had me watch Apocalypse Now and Resivoir Dogs when I was six and look how I turned out!

 

WHEN GOOD MUPPETS GO BAD

As a way to introduce Christy to Star Wars I've rented the Muppets meet the Stars of Star Wars. She's been watching it non-stop and keeps asking to watch Star Wars.

So, the other night I'm sitting in one room when I hear this very strange noise coming from the playroom. With horror I realized that Christy was impersonating . . .














Angus MacGonicle, the Argyle Gargoyle Gargling Gershwin!!! [face_shocked]