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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Shared Soul (JA / Obi & Qui Hurt mental/physical)finally UPDATED 11/10 Please give it a try.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Kampfzwerg, Jun 20, 2002.

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  1. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Author: Kampfzwerg Dani

    Title: Shared soul

    Summary: One day a girl comes through a Stargate, which is in possession of the Jedi.(But it's only a decoration for them.)The young woman is from an other galaxy and in Obi?s age (20). Will the encounter with her endanger our Jedi? And will an old enemy of Qui-Gon, (whom he never seem to get rid off), get rid off Obi-Wan?

    Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. (except Danielle and some others) All are property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm, etc. There is no profit from this work.

    Shared Soul

    Again they stood, after a long, exhausting mission, in the council chamber, high above in the highest level of the temple and reported to the twelve Jedi, which sat in a circle around them, of the many unexpected incidents of their last assignment.

    Obi-Wan stood respectfully one step behind his Master and started to digress mentally, during Qui-Gon described all details to the council.
    His stomach growled for a while and Obi-Wan thought eagerly of the refrigerator in the quarters he shared with Qui-Gon.
    As he started to decide what he would eat later, he was jerk from his thoughts, by a voice.

    ?Padawan Kenobi, absent-minded you are?!?

    Obi-Wan punched his forehead mentally for his inattention, as he saw; out of the corner of his eyes; that Qui-Gon turned his head slightly in his direction.

    ?Please forgive me, Master Yoda,? he stammered. ?I??
    But before he could think of an excuse, the interior ring of the stone circle, which hang on the ceiling above their heads, began to rotate with a loud, groaning Sound. As the ring stopped, a kind of clip, snapped over one of the many symbols on the circle. The clip withdrew and the ring began rotating again. While the Jedi looked questioning at each other, the procedure repeated six times. But when the seventh clip engaged, Obi-Wan felt a ripple in the Force. His master must have sensed the same, because the two jumped in the last second, synchronously aside, before a giant, whirling column of energy shot out of the ring. The vertex hit the floor slightly and left a small, smoking hole behind, as the energy was drawn back in the ring. There it build an evenly surface, which seemed to be of water.
    The light in the event horizon impressed the Jedi. But suddenly the surface was passed through by a wave. Another ripple was in the force and someone came out of the event horizon.

    In an instant, the room was lit with 14 lights, as the Jedi draw their lightsabers, just before the figure hit the floor, with face down.

    Obi-Wan winced inwardly, as the event horizon of the stone circle closed with a loud sound. But his attention was drawn back to the figure, by a coughing.

    ?Ouch!? came a dry, sarcastically voice. And although the mood was tensely, Obi-Wan had to smile about the manner the figure had said it.


    ~*~


    The hard bounce added her already aching body another wave of pain. Yet she couldn?t withhold her sarcastically ?ouch?.

    ?Okay,? she started, head still to the floor. ?Wer hat die verdammte Rampe weggenommen, von wo?? she trailed of, as she rose her head. ??sie sowieso nicht hingehört.? She finished and forced her body to obey and to stand up.

    [ Translation:?Okay,????Who took the damn ramp from where??it doesn?t belong, anyway.?]

    Nervously she turned in a circle and absorbed all details form the bizarre Room. As her sight met the two men, which stand in the circle with her, she stopped. She decided to speak to the younger one, who seemed to be in her age. Because, although she knew that the twenty year old possibly didn?t have much to say under the older rest, she felt better.

    ?Uhm?netter Laserpointer. Ich hoffe du wirst ihn nicht als Waffe benutzen?!?
    [?Uhm?nice laser pinter. I hope you?re not going to use it as a weapon?!?]
    she said to him. But he only looked at her disbelievingly and so she went on. ?Uhm? hör zu, ich wollte euch nicht stören. Mein Name ist Danielle Jackson. Ich bin ein Forscher von der Erde und ich komme in??
    [?Uhm?listen, I didn?t want to disturb you. My n
     
  2. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    interesting idea.
     
  3. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    He couldn?t forget what had happened. The healers seemed to need an eternity to get to the council chamber. And as they had finally been there, they had pushed him away, put Danielle on a stretcher and told the council, that they would inform them if they were going to find out something. They refused his request to stay by the girl.

    Beyond that, the council had released them and Obi-Wan and his master had retroverted to their quarters.
    After several hours of silentness, Qui-Gon had come in his room.

    ?Come along.?

    That was the only thing, his master had said to him, after the incident in the council chambers.

    He had complied to the command, of course, and now they were going through the giant halls of the temple. Although it was in Obi-Wan`s nature to be curious, in that moment he didn?t care a lot where they were heading. The only thing what distressed him, was the silence of the older man. And although silentness had never been a bad thing between them, he couldn?t have felt more uneasy. He feared, that his not reconsidered action, had disappointed his master.

    He watched the older man, who walked one step before him, covertly. And as he wanted to checked his masters emotions through their shared bond, he only hit on strong shields.

    *That?s not good*, he thought to himself and sighed inwardly.

    ?Why did you reach out to her??

    Obi-Wan was surprised by the question. And although it was asked in an neutral tone, he stammered with a frown: ?I?I don?t know, master.?

    Qui-Gon stopped so he could watch his apprentice straight in the eyes.

    Obi-Wan looked musingly on the floor for a moment, then back to Qui-Gon.

    ?It?it just felt right. I?m sorry. I should have think over it at first.?

    Qui-Gon watched him, obvious in thoughts. Then he resumed his walk beside his apprentice.

    ?It?s alright. I just can?t remember that you ever put your trust in someone you hardly met a few moments before.?

    ?But I did, master.?

    ?Oh really??, the tall man stopped again and looked at him with a curious gaze. ?Whom??

    Obi-Wan blushed slightly and embarrassed. ?You,? he answered.

    Then he sensed the shields of his master sink. Qui-Gon smiled slightly and put his hand on Obi-Wan`s shoulder.

    ?What did you found??, he asked his Padawan, as he anew resumed his walk.

    ?Oh, you wont believe it!?, Obi-Wan answered, excitedly like a little boy in a toyshop. ?I saw a light, as bright and pure?I don?t know how to describe it?it was like?like?a newborn star.?

    The smile on the masters face became bigger about the childish and innocent excitement.

    ?I?ve never seen such a thing before, master,? he added, as he calmed himself a bit. ?Oh, I wonder how she is. If the healers already know the reason for her condition??

    ?Well, lets asked them!?, Qui-Gon answered.

    And as Obi-Wan looked in front of them, he realized that they had headed to the healers ward.


    To be continued.
     
  4. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    this is getting interesting.
     
  5. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    ?Well, uhm?? healer Winna Di Yuni hesitated. ?I can?t say for sure, what caused her wound. There is a small weight of iron next to her lungs. We?ve found tracks of a carbon alloy. I estimate it was a, me unknown, kind of weapon. A projectile weapon maybe. Well, however, the weight of iron wounded her right lung. She will experience pain at breathing. It?s a miracle that she could stand on her own, for so long.? Winna inserted a suspect pause. Then she continued: ?Naturally, we removed the weight of iron and sewed up the wound. With a little bit of luck , there won?t be a scare. But the last time she experienced such a wound, she hadn?t that luck.?

    ?The last time??, Qui-Gon enquired.

    ?Yes, it seems she had been wounded like this before. There is a scare by the new wound. It?s probably two years old.?

    ?Can we see her??, Obi-Wan asked, after a sceptically gaze.

    ?Yes, but she?s asleep.?

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stood up and turned to leave as the healer attracted their attention again. ?There is just one more thing, master Jinn.?

    Obi-Wan looked impatiently at his master and Qui-Gon signalled him to go ahead.

    Then the tall man seated again in front of the healers desk.

    Winna looked seriously at him. ?Did you sense something in the nearness of the girl??

    Qui-Gon thought for a moment, then shook his head. ?No. Why??

    ?Well, she?s got an middle average Midi-Chlorian account.? The healer saw, that the man towards him, frowned. Winna nodded. ?She?s force sensitive.?


    ~*~

    Obi-Wan stepped quietly in. He crossed the room without sound and came to a halt next to the bed. His gaze travelled gently over the now clean, pale, but beautiful features of the young woman.
    He frowned. Under her short hair twinkled a black edge of a small flat circular object, which was placed on her right temple.
    Gently he brushed the strain of hair aside and looked precisely on the slab.
    He didn?t recognize the material it was made of. So he reached out with one of his fingers and tipped slightly on it.

    Danielle winced at the entire body. Surprised, he backed away a step. Her eyes moved under her lids and her head rolled restlessly from side to side as if she had a nightmare.

    Determined to wake her, he stepped near the bed again and shook her gently. ?Danielle? Danielle, wake up.?

    ?DAD!? In an instant, she sat upright in the sickbed.

    Obi-Wan sat down on the edge of the bed and griped her shoulders, as she tried to throw the covers aside and to climb out of the bed.

    ?Danielle! Hey, what?s the matter??

    Her panic filled eyes met his calm one. ?I?I?ve to go back!? She tried to get free from his grip, but he clutched her tightly.

    ?Calm down,? he tried to get through to her. ?There is no reason to be afraid. You?re safe now! It will all became alright again!?

    She stopped fighting and looked with sad eyes at him. Tears came up.
    ?Oh, don?t. Actually I wanted to sooth you,? he said with an encouraging smile.

    But the encouragement seemed to fail, when, to his surprise she clasped him, buried her face in his cloak and began to sob.



    ~*~

    The white door of the room opened with a quiet whoosh, revealing Qui-Gon the room and his apprentice, who was trying to calm the sobbing girl with a gentle voice.

    ?Shh,? he whispered, while he caressed her head.

    He looked briefly at Qui-Gon, a concerned look an his face. The Jedi master nodded, signalling him to move on.

    Obi-Wan drew his attention back to Danielle. ?What happened??, he asked, after the sobbing had faded slightly.

    ?They killed him,? was a veiled whimper.

    ?Who killed whom??

    Danielle drew back slightly so she could look in his eyes, but didn?t let go of him. ?The Goa`uld?? she whispered. ??The Goa`uld murdered my dad. Cold-blooded.? She didn?t seem to notice the older Jedi.

    Obi-Wan looked at her, but she lowered her head and seemed to look through him. As if she were deep in thoughts. ?The Tok`Ra send a massage to us. It said, that Apophis had begun to buil
     
  6. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    ?I sensed nothing likewise,? Mace Windu said after a long pause.

    ?Nobody has.? Yoda watched the two men, who stand in the middle of the council chamber.

    ?She never heard of the force or the Jedi. The healer said, that could be the cause,? Qui-Gon informed.

    ?Not even heard of it??, Ki-Adi Mundi asked. ?How can this be??

    ?It seems that there are no Jedi in her galaxy. They have a totally different religion?, Qui-Gon answered. ?Danielle said, that they call the Midi-Chlorians Nanits. She thinks they are little computers. Where it comes from, she does not know. But she is not born with it, supposedly. Her opinion of, someone named Apophis injected it to get information from her. And that is also the function of the black slab at her temple.?

    ?She *told* you that!?, Mace gave to think over.

    ?I think we can trust her,? Obi-Wan said unbidden.

    Mace shot him a sharp gaze. ?We could see that!?

    Obi-Wan looked over to his master, help seeking.

    ?What will happen to her now??, Qui-Gon turned to Yoda.

    ?Ready to leave the healers care, she is??, Yoda asked thoughtfully.

    ?Healer Di Yuni said, one more day.?

    ?Before us you will bring her then! Speak to her, we want!?


    ~*~


    ?DON?T! GO AWAY WITH THOSE THING!?, panic filled words echoed in Obi-Wan?s ears, as he walked through the halls of the healers ward.
    In the same instant, a figure in hospital nighty rushed out of a room and stopped at the versus wall.

    ?Oh, come on! That?s only syringe!? Obi-Wan recognized Bants voice immediately. The healer Padawan came out of the same room the figure before her had come from.

    ?Only a syringe? The needle is as long as my whole arm!?, Danielle grouched.

    ?Hello Bant. Afflicting patients again??, Obi-Wan said to Bant with a grin.

    ?Hello Obi-Wan. What is that supposed to mean? That?s to her own good.?

    ?To my own good? Haha!?, Danielle laughed sarcastically. ?That?s no needle, that?s a spear!?

    ?Don?t say you afraid of a syringe?!?, mocked Obi-Wan.

    ?Ha, look at yourself! Don?t believe him a word, Danielle! He plays the same scene like you now, since twenty years.?

    ?Thanks, Bant.?

    Danielle laughed out laud. ?What, our strong hero is afraid of an syringe??, she asked mocking.

    ?But at least I learned something from it!?

    ?And what??, Danielle asked curious.

    Obi-Wan grinned. ?That the hospital nighty has a slit in it?s back!?

    Horror was written on Danielle?s face as she looked over her shoulder.

    ?Ahhh,? she screamed and tried to pull the two ends together, unavailing.

    Bant and Obi-Wan couldn?t help but laugh out loud.

    ?Yeah, yeah, laugh at me.? Danielle?s face blushed.

    ?If you will excuse me now,? she said to Obi-Wan. ?I?ve got a meeting with a spear.? Then there was only a dust cloud, as she disappeared into the room again.


    ~*~

    ?Can you tell us, what you see on the screen??, Mace Windu asked. He hold a little computer in his hands and concentrated on the picture.

    Danielle frowned and looked questioningly at him. ?With all due respect, but how am I supposed to do so??

    ?Concentrate on my thoughts. Tell us what you see, what is in your mind.?

    Danielle watched him a moment. *Fantastic. Now I?m thinking of Shaft. But I better don?t tell him that.?

    ?An Audi TT?

    Mace sighed angrily. ?You must concentrate!?

    ?I?m sorry. But I don?t know how this thing is called. I?ve never seen something like that before.,? she said frustrated.

    ?But saw something, you did??, Yoda asked.

    ?Yes, I think so.?

    ?How did it look like??, Mace questioned.

    ?It was a kind of vehicle. It had a case for the pilot and two giant impulse turbines.?

    ?It?s called Pod-racer and that was right.?

    Danielle smiled.

    ?Well, let us try something you should know,? Mace offered.

    Danielle looked at him for a long time, again. *Okay, what I?m seeing. Shaft. Shaft. Shaft. Shaft. Shaft. A cub. Shaft. Shaft. Wait a minute.*

    ?A cub!?, she spoke out.

    Mace looked at Yoda. The little master drew his ear
     
  7. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    ?The council agrees with your objections. If we let her abilities untrained, it could be ending in a fatal fault. She has to know how to control the force,? Mace Windu said to the two Jedi in the middle of the council chamber.

    ?But at first, you should think about your new mission, which is waiting for you,? Adi Gallia interrupted.

    Obi-Wan looked surprised at her. ?A mission? Now??

    ?Yes, now,? she said strict.

    ?And what about Danielle??


    ~*~

    Danielle stood on the giant balcony at the end of on long hall, looking at the beautiful sunrise, while she waited for Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. The council wanted to speak to them alone. That was surely not good.
    She yawned silently. After she?d discussed with Obi-Wan for hours, who would sleep on the bed in Obi-Wan`s room, she had given up and let Obi-Wan play the gentleman. But as she had been lying in the bed, she couldn?t close an eye.
    So many things had happen in the last days.

    ?You look sad,? a voice rang from behind her. ?You don?t want to go to the Agri-Korbs.?

    ?No,? she answered quiet, without looking at Obi-Wan. ?But it?s not about that.?

    ?It?s about your friends.?

    ?He didn?t kill them. That means he made them to hosts. Implanted them one of the Goa`uld snakes.? She sighed.

    ?You said, that you had been caught many times, hadn?t you??

    ?Too often for my taste.?

    ?But you always made it.? Encouraging, he laid a hand on her shoulder. ?They surely make it this time, too.?

    Danielle smiled at him. ?Yeah, you?re right.? Then her smile faded. ?What did the council say??

    ?They send Qui-Gon and me on a mission to Jalan. There is a politician named Jodjge, who need protection.?

    ?And what about me, then??, she asked a little bit frightened.

    ?You will come with us,? he answered with a smile.


    ~*~

    ?Then I heard a scream and when I came around the corner, I saw her run away.?, the little boy stammered, who was standing before the security force. ?She simply run away. She?she stabbed him in the chest with a knife and simply run away!?

    The security man, Balk, gave the note, with included all details, to his colleague. ?Look for her. The girl must be found immediately!?

    ?Yes Sir.?

    ?How can such a young girl do something like this??, Balk murmured and looked over his shoulder to the fallen Jedi.



    ?Master,? Obi-Wan whispered and send healing waves of the force to his unconscious mentor. ?Hold on. You can?t?you can?t go.?

    ?Step aside,? a medical yelled and pushed Obi-Wan harshly away.

    He couldn?t believe it. Danielle couldn?t have done such a thing. She and Qui-Gon only started to know each other well. They even were gone together for a walk on Jalan?s streets.
    Desperation overtook him. He had been sitting in the apartment, which was given to them, while the other two were gone. Had refused to go with them, with the reason, that he wanted to meditate. But actually he just wanted, that his master and Danielle talked with each other. So his master could see, what Obi-Wan saw in her. But it all went wrong. A wave of pain, which had come through the bond with his master, ripped him out of his meditation. The impact of the emotion, almost threw from the couch.
    Immediately he had run on the streets of Jalan and had searched for Qui-Gon. And as he had found him, his breath was caught in his throat, from the sight.
    Blood trickled through the older Jedis tunic. Near the heart. He was lying on the floor. As if he were dead.
    Obi-Wan did not hear the questions of the security man, as he kneeled beside Qui-Gon. The words came only vague to his ears. It was a girl. She seemed to know him. I heard them talk. Then I heard a scream and when I came around the corner, I saw her run away?? She simply run away. She?she stabbed him in the chest with a knife and simply run away!

    He snapped back to attention, as the doctors rolled Qui-Gon on a stretcher in the speeder.

    ?I will come with you,? he said in a tone, that would not allow any protest. So the nurse let him in.
    With echoing sirens the speeder headed
     
  8. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    The steady beep of the EKG, broke the silence. But the young Jedi next to the bed, was relieved of it. It told him, that his master was still alive. And he didn?t wish anything more in the galaxy, as that it remind like that. Missions like this, always showed him, that even such a strong Jedi like his master, wasn?t deathlessly. And this knowledge, was like thousand stabs in his chest.

    ?Jedi Kenobi??, a voice sounds from behind him. Obi-Wan was surprised that he hadn?t heard the security man come in.

    After a short hesitate, he stood up and went over to the man. ?Any news??, he asked quietly.

    ?We got her. She was brought in one of the hospital underground rooms.?

    ?Can I see her??

    ?Follow me.?


    ~*~

    ?Your crime is unforgivably. You will atone for this.?

    Danielle kneeled on the colt Hangar floor. Her eyes, filled with unshed tears, gazed up to Obi-Wan. She tightly clasped the ring, Obi-Wan had given to her, before they had left for the mission. This is for you. If you get in trouble, it will tell you, your not alone. I am with you.


    ?You are no longer a member of the classified association. Now, you belong to Chan. The slaver.?

    She tried unavailing to stop the shiver, which passed through her entire body.

    ?What?s about that ring??, a man next to Obi-Wan asked.

    ?Give me the ring,? Obi-Wan demanded.

    Danielle looked pleadingly at him. Tears she could not control were sliding down her face. ?I didn?t do it.? There was so much hurt in her voice. And Obi-Wan could not hold her eyes, could not face the pain in them.

    ?Give me the ring,? he demanded, his voice thick.

    Slowly she reached out and placed the ring in his hand.

    As her fingers touched his palm, his heart cracked.

    He couldn?t do this. But there was no other way. How could it come so far?
    The security man was supposed to bring him to Danielle. But as they reached the underground rooms of the hospital?



    # A tingle in the back of his head, made him uneasily. Something wasn?t right. But he didn?t know what.
    The door to the room opened with a rusty whoosh, revealed the sight of an hooded figure, quietly cowering in a corner.

    ?Danielle??, he asked silently. But he got no answer. He went to her and kneeled beside her. ?Danielle??, he tried again. As there was still not yet an answer and he wanted to pull the hood of, a warning of the force, hit him so intensively, he wobbled backward. The figure stood, threw the hood back and aimed a blaster on him. ?Wrong guess, little one;? a deep voice rang from the giant man. ?Don?t do any stupid. Danielle is in our power. And now your master, too.?

    Shock passed through him. *No*, was the only thing the young Jedi could think of. *No* #



    ?Stand up!?, Chan ordered. As she didn?t react, two guards pulled the young woman to her feet.

    Crudely they dragged her to the ship.

    ?Get the droid out here!?, Chan ordered.

    One of the guards ran inside the ship und after a short time, came back down the ramp with a droid.
    ?Give me your arm!?, he yelled at Danielle. She looked at him distrustful. He griped her arm roughly an fastened it with a thong to the massive droid.
    Chan punched a few buttons and the droid reached out with a mechanically arm. Out of the vertex came a laser beam and aimed at the soft skin of the arm.

    For a brief moment, Danielle?s screams filled the silence, until she composed herself. It took all her strength to keep the screams back.


    He couldn?t watch this any longer. She didn?t deserve that. She simply didn?t deserve that. Obi-Wan started to ran towards her, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

    ?I wouldn?t do this, if I were you! Or do you want to be responsible for the dead of your master??

    Obi-Wan took a step back and shook the hand of his shoulder.

    ?What?s that all for? Isn?t it enough for you, that she?s a slave now? Why did you force me to do that??

    ?Because slaves are much more manageable if they have no hope. And more manageable slaves means more money.?


    As Chan removed the thong and with that her only sup
     
  9. triggerfinger

    triggerfinger Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 30, 2002
  10. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    i don't understand whats going on. i'm confused.
     
  11. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    *Jacen* Maybe if the story continues you will find out. The future is clouded *g*. But maybe I can explain to you. What don't you understand?


    ~*~

    ?You look sad,? a voice echoed through her empty head. And her thoughts drifted back to Obi-Wan. How the sun had shined on his face, as they had been standing on the balcony. The twinkle in this beautiful blue/green eyes, she had trusted entirely.

    ?You don?t want to be a slave.? That statement surprised her. And as she lifted her head from her knees, which she had pulled to her chest, she saw a little boy in front of her.

    ?No.? Her sad eyes met the big one of the barely four year old. ?But it?s not that,? she added whispering.

    The giant hangar doors opened with a loud sound. The little boy winced, looked nervously around and turned a frightened gaze on Danielle. ?Please, hide me,? he begged. And as a guard entered the hangar, he crawled under Danielle?s legs. In a fast move she drew her cloak around her, covered the sight on the boy.

    The guard looked around the big hall. ?Hey, you!?, he barked at Danielle. ?Did you see the little boy??

    ?Which little boy??, Danielle faked stupid.

    ?Ah, forget it, scum.? Then he swaggered out of the hangar and the big doors closed behind him.

    The little boy blinked cautiously from under the cloak. ?Is he gone??, he whispered frightened.

    ?Yes, you can come out.?, she answered encouraging. With that, the little boy came out of his hiding place, snuggled against Danielle and clasped her tightly, as if his life depended on it.

    ?They took my mum,? he said quietly. ?She said, she would come back. But she isn?t back, yet. What do you think, they will do to her??

    Soothing, she wrapped one arm around his shoulders. ?I don?t know,? she answered honestly. ?But they won?t do any harm to their `goods`,? she added with a sigh.

    ?I?m afraid.?

    ?I know,? she said silently and laid her head upon his.

    ?Are you afraid??

    ?No.?

    ?Your are so brave,? he admired her. ?I wish I would be so brave, too.?

    ?That has nothing to do with braveness. There is just nothing I could be afraid of.? Her voice was thick with grief.

    ?Neither, that you could never see your parents again??, he mumbled in her tunic.

    ?My parents are dead.?

    The little one drew back and looked at her with apologizing eyes. ?Oh, I am sorry.?

    ?You don?t need to. How could you have known??

    ?What about friends??, he broke out suddenly.

    Her thoughts elsewhere, she answered: ?I have no friends. Not anymore.?

    ?Why `not anymore`??

    ?They lost their trust in me. They think I betrayed them.?, she said, her voice waving. Tears glinted in her eyes.

    ?I could be your friend,? he said eagerly.

    ?No,? she said, lifted her head form his and drew back her arm. ?Stay away form me as far as you can.?

    The boy looked at her with a hurt gaze. ?Anyone I care for, get hurt. Or killed. Physically or mentally.? A tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. ?I?m a curse,? she added despaired and sank her head.

    ?But I want to bee your friend, anyway,? he answered determined.

    Danielle raised her head again and looked at him stunned. He had much braveness for such a little boy.

    A big grin lay on his face and he spread out his hand to her. Danielle couldn?t help but smile back. She took his hand and shook it.

    ?What is your name??

    ?Danielle. Danielle Jackson.?

    ?Nice to meet you, Danielle. Mine is Anakin Skywalker, ? he announced proudly.


    ~*~

    /*/*/*/
    Do you believe the wind blows
    because someone said: ?Wind blow now!? ?
    Do you believe the stars are shining
    because someone switched them on?
    Do you believe that?
    Do you believe the elements do what they shall do
    And not what they want?
    If you believe that, you will never see and understand
    what I mean when I say: ?I want to be free!?
    Free like the wind when it?s blowing
    I want to be free
    Free like a star in the sky
    I want to be free
    Just free
    Just free
    /*/*/*/

    ?Is that your mother??, Danielle whispered to the crowed figure beneath her cloak.
    An eye gazed
     
  12. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    Wetness.

    Cold.

    Silence.

    Darkness.

    The dampness of the cell drenched her to the bones.

    The only warmth came from her tears, which were sliding down her cheeks.

    The only sound she could hear, were her own breath.

    The only thing she could see, was the darkness, which banished all other things from her sight.

    And the last hope she had, was beginning to slide from her grip like fine sand.


    ~*~

    ?But we can?t abandon her to Chan. Only the force knows what he will do to her!?, Obi-Wan protested.

    ?This could be a trap,? objected Qui-Gon. ?Think of what Garen said. This little boy, who contacted him??

    ?Who affirmed that Danielle had done this to you,? Obi-Wan interrupted and pointed to his masters wound, which had, in the last week since they had returned to the temple, healed very well.

    ?Exactly. He affirmed that a man had given him money for saying those things. However, he didn?t see the man, but heard his voice over a Comlink. This man or someone he engaged, must have done the attentat. In addition, the one who has done it, knows a lot about the force.?

    ?How do you know that??

    Qui-Gon looked briefly thoughtfully around the common room of their apartment. ?Before the attack started, I felt a pang in my shoulder, as if from a needle. Then I sensed, how the force slipped form my grasped.?

    ?A force-dimmer.?

    Qui-Gon nodded and looked back to his apprentice. ?Why should someone make such an afford and just leave us behind??, he made a thoughtfully pause. ?It wasn?t about us. No matter what they told you. They wanted Danielle.?

    ?Another reason why we should free her!?, Obi-Wan put in.

    ?We don?t even know exactly, where Chan?s ship is.?

    ?Garen said, that it was seen in the Bothan rim at last. On Ando. Before that it was seen on Tynna and after that on Druckenwell. That means, they are straight on the way to the outer rim. They?re goal is Kamino, Rishi, Ryloth, Geonosis or Tatooine. So we know quite exactly where they?re heading for!?

    ?Nevertheless! It is do dangerous!?, Qui-Gon said sternly. ?If we don?t know more about their plan, we can?t do anything. The council will tell you the same.?

    ?I don?t care what the council says!?, snapped Obi-Wan and rose from the couch in a start.

    ?Padawan!?, his master admonished him. ?Watch your tone and sit back down.?

    ?No!?

    ?What did you say??

    Obi-Wan closed his eyes and released the upcoming rage into the force. As he reopened his eyes again, two despaired, blue-green stars looked at Qui-Gon. ?But we can?t leave her in the hands of this slaver. She is still thinking we lost our trust in her,? said Obi-Wan quietly, the previous rage completely forgotten.

    Qui-Gon rose and went to his apprentice. Encouraging, he laid his hand on Obi-Wan`s shoulder. ?You have to keep your heart out of this, padawan.?, he said calm. ?Your feelings for this girl??

    ?It?s not love, master,? Obi-Wan interrupted cautiously. ?It?s something else. I don?t know exactly what it is. I?I sense when she suffers. Without the force. It?s like?like a shared soul.?

    Qui-Gon sighed. ?But this changes nothing, Obi-Wan. We can?t save her at the moment.?

    Obi-Wan tore his shoulder free from the hand of his master. ?You don?t want to understand me, do you? She is SUFFERING!?

    ?Padawan, calm down,? Qui-Gon admonished him.

    ?No, I won?t calm down. Not before we?ve found her. You didn?t calm down, either, as Tahl was abducted.?

    ?That has nothing to do with this!?, Qui-Gon answered sharp.

    ?Yes it has. You don?t want me to save Danielle, because you couldn?t save Tahl!?, Obi-Wan shouted at him.

    ?I couldn?t save her, because we were forced to wait for you?re leg, since YOU MESS UP something again!?

    Obi-Wan backed one step away and reduced his eyes to small slits. His voice was cold as ice as he spoke. ?No, you couldn?t save her, because you were not able to listen to your feelings. Therefore she died. Because of your stubbornness.?

    With a quick move, Qui-Gon had gripped him by the collar and pressed him against the wall. Obi-Wan
     
  13. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    He had sat for hours in the garden under a tree and had meditated. He couldn?t belief that he had lost his control like this. The only other time, had been after Tahl`s death.
    His Padawans words had hit him deeply and all the painful memories had come rushing back to him. But that was no excuse for his behaviour. As master it was his duty to show the Padawan his failures and help him without judging him. He had to do this objectively. But Obi-Wan meant to much to him, as not to put his heart in this matter; to do it objectively. He felt like a father, who cared about the future of his son. It would be horrible to see Obi-Wan fail. But to lose him, would be unbearable.

    With this thoughts and with a heavy heart, he hesitated before he opened the door to their shared quarters.
    An icy silence filled the apartment.

    ?Obi-Wan??, he said quietly. But there was no response. Slowly, he went to Obi-Wan`s room and knocked on the door. When he again, got no response, he opened the door. But the room was empty.

    Frowning he searched in the refresher and the kitchen.
    He surly need some space, Qui-Gon thought, as he plumped in a seat, with a sigh. Who can blame him for that?!

    But now he noted a datapad and Obi-Wan?s lightsaber lying on the couch-table. Again he frowned and picked it up. With a feeling of uneasiness, he called up the last entry.


    "I?m so sorry for everything.
    I?m sorry for my behaviour.
    I?m sorry for saying all this lies to you.
    I?m sorry for what I?ve done to you on Melida/Daan.
    I?m sorry that I didn?t prove myself trustworthy after that.
    I?m sorry that you had to look out of every clumsy step of mine.
    I?m so very sorry, that you couldn?t rescue Tahl in time, because of me.
    I?m sorry that I weren?t a better Padawan.
    I?m sorry, that I ?m unworthy.
    I?m just so very sorry for everything.

    You were right, when you refused me in the first place. You shouldn?t have changed your opinion. You were right.
    It would have been better, if I had become a farmer!
    I?m grateful, that you tried it anyway.
    I?m grateful for every time you stand by my side and backed me up.
    I?m grateful, that I was allowed to know, how it feels like having a father.
    But it?s better for all, when I leave the order now. I already brought to much shame over the temple and over you. I have no right to stay here any longer. No right to stay at your side.
    You?re already gone trough so much and I only made it worse.
    I wish, that you will finally find someone who is worthy to be your Padawan. I wish that you will finally find some peace.
    And I hope, that you can forgive me someday.?

    ?No,? Qui-Gon whispered heartbroken in the silence. ?He is gone. He left.? Trough tear-drenched eyes, he looked at the datapad in his trembling hand. ?Why didn?t I see, that he blames himself for everything?? Tears glided down his cheeks, when the shoulders of the big man started to shake, as he tried to get his emotions under control. ?And I gave him more feelings of guilt!?, he whispered with choking voice.
     
  14. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    ?Garen,? called the big Jedi Meister the Padawan, as he ran through one of the many halls.

    Garen stopped and looked at Qui-Gon, asking.

    ?Did you see Obi-Wan??, he asked without greeting.

    ?No, not since we left the ship,? Garen answered confused.

    Qui-Gon let out a deep sigh.

    ?I saw him two hours ago,? a voice form behind the Jedi, said.

    Hopefully, Qui-Gon turned to look at the Padawan. ?Did he say, were he want to go, Reeft??

    ?You don?t know??, Reeft asked, surprised. ?He borrowed my ship, I got as Thanks for the Rescue of the Thissipias queen. Where he want to fly, he didn?t say. Only, that it is a solo mission.?

    That means, they are straight on the way to the outer rim. They?re goal is Kamino, Rishi, Ryloth, Geonosis or Tatooine. So we know quite exactly where they?re heading for!, echoed his Padawans voice in his head. We can?t leave her in the hands of this slaver. She is still thinking we lost our trust in her.

    Of course! Why haven?t I thought of it in the first place? Qui-Gon admonished himself. He want to free Danielle alone.

    ?It is no solo mission,? sighed Qui-Gon. ?I am only to late.?

    ?With all due respect, master Jinn,? Garen asked grinning. ?YOU are to late? Cause of what??

    ?Blindness, young Garen!?, Qui-Gon answered shortly and took off in a run.

    Reeft and Garen looked after him, surprised.
    Then Garen turned back to Reeft. ?You gave Obi-Wan your new ship??, he asked with a big grin on his face.

    ?Of course. He is my friend,? Reeft answered without understanding.

    ?How long do you know Obi-Wan? Probably since you can think. And you still didn?t learn the highest rule of the ?intercourse ? with ? Obi-Wan ? law` !?, Garen said chuckling.

    ?And this rule is??, Reeft asked unnerved.

    ?Never, NEVER, give Obi-Wan your ship, when he is going to go on a mission??

    ?Why not??

    Garen sighed dramatically. ?I?m afraid you will never see your precious ship again!?

    ?Oh nonsense!?, Reeft protested. ?Obi-Wan knows how much I love this ship. He will take care of it, cause otherwise I?m going to kill him!?


    ~*~

    ?Reeft is going to kill me!? Obi-Wan sighed, as the ship was rocked by blaster fire. ?If I will ever see him again,? he whispered.

    Leaning forward, Obi-Wan moved the ship, to avoid the fire as best as he could. ?This damn pirates,? he swore silently. ?Take this!? and with that he started to fire his own proton canons.
    One of the attacking ships moved aside, in time. The other were hit at the broadside. The ship waved and started to burn.
    The other ship was to fast. Whatever Obi-Wan tried, he wasn?t able to hit it.
    Finally he activated the communication device and build a link with the attacker.

    ?I have no valuable freight on board.?, he called, before he could see the holo-image of his opponent.

    ?You?re mistaking!?, a familiar voice sounded, as the holo-image started to clear. ?There is no more valuable freight for me.?

    ?You!?, Obi-Wan hissed.

    Another shoot hit Obi-Wan`s ship. More hard as the others before. And the ship was rocked with such a power, that Obi-Wan stumbled. He hit his head hard on the consol. Burning pain filled his senses and his vision were blurred, as he slowly sank to the floor. The last thing he heard, was a cruel laughter. Then all went black.
     
  15. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl

    Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2001
    > > > > >ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    > > > > > Smart man + smart woman = romance
    > > > > >Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    > > > > >Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    > > > > >Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
    > > > > >
    > > > > >OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    > > > > >Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    > > > > >Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    > > > > >Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    > > > > >Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
    > > > > >
    > > > > >
    > > > > >SHOPPING MATH
    > > > > >A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    > > > > >A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    > > > > >A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    > > > > >A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    > > > > >A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    > > > > >A successful woman is one who finds such a man.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >
    > > > > >HAPPINESS
    > > > > >To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
    > > > > >little.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
    > > > > >understand her at all.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >LONGEVITY
    > > > > >Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
    > > > > >more willing to die.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >
    > > > > >PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    > > > > >A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    > > > > >A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    > > > > >A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
    > > > > >that is the beginning of a new argument.
    > > > > >
    > > > > >
    > > > > >HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
    > > > > >Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
    > >and
    > > > > >cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started
    > > > > >doing the same thing to them at funerals.
     
  16. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    They stopped after I started
    doing the same thing to them at funerals.


    *lol* That was great Jenny.
     
  17. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    ?Talk about Danielle?s deliverance, we later will,? Yoda said. ?At first, where your Padawan is, we want to know.?

    ?He is already on the way to the outer rim,? Qui-Gon answered. It wasn?t a lie. Obi-Wan really was on his way to the outer rim.

    ?You send him before getting an answer of the council??, Mace Windu asked reproachfully.

    ?We will free Danielle! Without the approval of the council, if we must.? Again he avoided a lie.

    ?This mission is too??

    ?We know what danger it brings with it,? the Jedi master interrupted the council member. ?And we are ready to take this risk.?

    ?Why so eager to free her, you are??, master Yoda asked presaging.

    ?If anyone finds out that she is forcesensitive, it could have fatal consequences for her?and for us.?

    ?All that is??, Yoda asked, pressing

    Qui-Gon hesitated. He thought of saying more, but decided to keep it secret and only nodded slowly.

    The little master pulled his ears back, thoughtfully. ?Prohibit, we will not,? he said hesitantly. ?But help from us, you may not expect.?

    Oh Déjà vu That was enough for the Jedi master. He bowed and left the council chamber.


    ~*~

    The first thing he felt, was the mat thump in his head. He didn?t know where he was. Futile he tried to reached for the force to stop his pain. But now he noticed the collar, which cut in his neck.
    ?Oh great, a force dimmer,? he mumbled.
    Not able to release his pain in the force, he slowly struggled upright.

    As he looked around he found himself in a giant hangar. It was hard to see someone in the dim light.

    Suddenly the big hangar doors opened with a loud sound. He saw, that the guard threw a figure in the hangar, clothed in a lacerated tunic bodice.

    A stab raced trough his chest, as he recognised the person.

    ?Danielle,? echoed the voice of a little boy, somewhere in the hangar. But Obi-Wan didn?t turn, as he ran towards the young woman.
    She was soaked all over. The lacerated tunic didn?t protect of the cold, as she sank shivering to the floor, her head bowed.


    ~*~

    ?Anakin, don?t,? Shmi said quietly, while she griped his sons arm.

    ?But??, the little one protested, as he tried to get free from her.

    ?You cannot help her,? her mother interrupted him softly.

    ?You always say, people should help each other.? He looked at his mother with pleading eyes.

    ?Yes, I know. But we cannot help her.? Shmi cast a gaze over to Danielle. ?Moreover, she already has more help we ever could give her.?

    Anakin turned and looked at Danielle. In front of her kneeled someone and spoke softly to her. He couldn?t hear the young man, couldn?t see his face. But Ani recognised the clothes instantly. Ani wished desperately, that he too could do something. He turned back to his mother. ?Mum,? he looked at her with determined eyes. ?I want to be a Jedi!?


    ~*~

    ?Danielle??, asked Obi-Wan silently, as he covered her with his cloak and hold her at her shoulders. But she didn?t answer him, didn?t react to his touch, didn?t even seem to be aware of him.

    He let go of her and searched in his many tunic pockets for something. As he found it, a smile glittered on his face.

    As the golden cross dangled before Danielle, her empty eyes focussed again. With a trembling hand, she gripped the necklace. She closed her hand tightly around the symbol, that represented all what she believed in, and hold it near her heart.

    ?Danielle??, Obi-Wan asked again. Slowly, she raised her head and looked at him. ?Hello,? he said quietly. Her eyes widened at the unexpected sight.
    Obi-Wan smiled warmly at her. ?It?s a while since we??

    ?I didn?t do it!?, she burst out, desperate.

    Taken by surprise, he backed away. Then he leaned forward again and looked deep in her eyes. ?I know,? he said determined.
    He laid his arms around her. ?I know,? he whispered, while he hugged her.
    Her eyes filled with tears and sobbing echoed in the hangar, as the relief made it?s way into her heart.
    ?I never doubted it.? Slowly he pulled away, but didn?t let go of her. Again he searched in hi
     
  18. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    He had started only fife hours after his Padawan. Though it would take six more hours to get him to the outer rim. His patience lost, Qui-Gon looked on his chronometer. He let out a frustrated sigh.
    Suddenly a blinking light on the ships consol, caught his attention. Leaning forward, Qui-Gon activated it.

    ?You ever heard of clones??, a metallic voice hissed.

    The Jedi master frowned.

    ?Well? At least you?ve already fought one. And you won. But only the first round of the battle.?

    A mocking laughing rang over the system.

    ?But in the end, the triumph is mine!?, a deep voice said.

    ?YOU!? Qui-Gon leaped out of his seat.

    ?Yes, your Padawan said the same thing,? came the bitchy reply.

    ?Where is he??, demanded the Jedi master.

    ?You didn?t really believe that it was me on Telos, who jumped in that lake full of acid and let you win so easily?!? A Holo-image of Xanatos appeared. ?You?re a fool. Like your Padawan. Or should I say: former Padawan?? Once more a mocking laughter echoed over the system.

    ?Where is he??, Qui-Gon demanded again.

    ?You should sit down,? Xanatos replied with a wide grin. The picture moved to an empty cell.


    ~*~


    Roughly the guard thrust Obi-Wan and Danielle in the empty cell. Obi-Wan helped Danielle back to her feet and stood protectively in front of her.

    Chan entered the cell and looked at them, a satisfied grin on his face.

    ?Get out of the way, scum,? he ordered. But Obi-Wan pushed Danielle further behind himself and shot Chan a firm look.
    ?I said: Get out of the way!?, the slaver hissed.
    As Obi-Wan didn?t react, two guards stepped forward.

    ?Hold on,? a voice sounded. Xanatos entered the cell with proudly steps.

    His gaze passed Obi-Wan and laid on Danielle. ?You don?t want that we hurt your great hero, do you??, he said with impending tone. But his mocking smile didn?t fade.

    Danielle took a step forward. Obi-Wan blocked her way with his arm. ?Don?t,? he said quietly, his eyes remaining on Xanatos.

    She looked protesting at him. ?But??

    ?Well,? Xanatos said and pushed a button on a remote control.

    Obi-Wan winced, as strong electric shots came out of the collar around his neck. He gritted his teeth, suppressed the screams that crawled up his throat and impended to burst out. Pulsing shot the flashes of energy through his body, pierced every pore of his skin, made the blood in his veins burn. The pain banished all other things out of his senses. He barely heard Danielle pleading Xanatos to stop. Her voice sounded distant. As if she were miles away from him. Slowly he sank to his knees. Immediately he sensed Danielle supporting him. And then, suddenly, it stopped. The electric shots ceased. The pain faded and he felt Danielle?s cold hand, wipe beads of sweat from his forehead.

    The next moment two guards gripped him, dragged him to the wall and chained his arms to it.

    Xanatos grasped Danielle by her arm and pulled her over. Then he looked at Chan. ?I bet she is much better then the mother of the little boy!?

    ?I don?t think so,? Chan answered grinning. ?You know the saying: The older is better.?

    ?Well, we will see,? Xanatos replied, grinning as well. Then he gripped Danielle by her hips and pulled her to him. She let out a frightened scream and tried to struggle free.

    ?Don?t dare touching her,? Obi-Wan impended.

    Xanatos shot him a mischievous gaze. He took one of Danielle?s hands and laid it upon his black heart. Then he transmitted dark waves of the force to her. She gasped for air and tried to rip free, panicking. The dark waves send rage, thirst for revenge and hate through her body. All that was evil, all what meant affliction, came from her opponent to her. ?Stop it,? she begged, fear and despair obvious in her voice. She had never felt that way. The darkness, that creeped in her body, was unbearable. ?Please stop it.?

    ?Let her alone!?, Obi-Wan screamed and struggled against the chains.

    Xanatos didn?t let go of her and pressed another button on the remote control. Danielle?s collar made a quiet noise. She st
     
  19. BlueJedi

    BlueJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    WOW! Great story..I am totaly rivited


    Waiting for more


     
  20. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    Thanks, Blue. *blush* It's good to hear someone like it.


    FLASHBACK

    ~*~

    The nose of the sleeping Jedi master curled. ?Haaa?tschi!?

    ?Ugh!?, cried the young apprentice, jumped from the bed, dropped the feather und wiped his hand on his tunic.

    ?What is that for, Xanatos??, a sleepily Qui-Gon asked grumpily.

    ?Oh,? quickly Xanatos pushed the feather with a foot behind him. ?You?re already awake??, he asked grinning.

    Qui-Gon shot him a dark look.

    ?Oh no, not the ?you-cheeky-brat-I-should-drown-you-in-the-next-lake?-look.?, the 15 year old boy chuckled. ?Now, stand up!?

    Sighing, the tall man throw his legs out of the bed and dressed, while the boy disappeared in the common room.

    As Qui-Gon entered the room as well, he could smell the odour of fresh coffee and muja fruits. In amazement he sat down at the table, where is Padawan was waiting. ?What did you do??, Qui-Gon asked distrustfully, looking at the full table.

    ?Me??, Xanatos looked at him like the innocence in person. ?Nothing.? Again a huge grin appeared on his face. ?Here!? With pride expression, he gave a wrapped box to his master.

    ?What is that?? Qui-Gon looked asking at him.

    ?Open it!?, the boy huddled.

    Slowly the master removed the wrapping paper and opened the lid.

    ?Happy birthday, master!?

    Cautiously, Qui-Gon lifted a little crystal bird out of the box.

    ?Where?where did you get this??, Qui-Gon asked, totally surprised. ?And where did you get the money for this??

    ?Yeah, I bet you would like to know that.?, Xanatos answered grinning.

    The amazed master looked awed at the crystal statue.

    ?Here, look, it plays a song!? Xanatos leaned over the table and turned a wheal on the site of the crystal bird. A beautiful music started. A music, that would later help the Jedi master, to bear the grief for the betrayal of his former apprentice.

    ?It is quite beautiful. Thank you, Padawan.?

     
  21. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    It seemed to be the thousands time in the last days, that Xanatos? cruel laughter sounded in his ears.

    ?YOU want to kill ME??, Xanatos mocked. His gaze darkened and he starred at Obi-Wan with cold, blue eyes. ?No, I will kill YOU!? Too late, Obi-Wan noticed that Xanatos was still holding the remote control. Before he could grab it, the dark Jedi had already pushed another button.

    Again electric jolts ran through his body. Stronger and more cruel than before. They shot unmercifully through him, let his head hammer, as if it would explode the very next second. The battle lost, he screamed, as the pain forced him to the floor.

    Xanatos watched with a satisfied gaze, as the young Jedi laid on the floor and wallowed of agony. The body of the young man tensed and bowed at every new jolt. And every time a scream tore from his lung, that could have frozen fire to ice.

    ?No.? Finally, able to move again, Danielle instantly kneeled next to Obi-Wan and pulled him in her lap. ?Shh,? she whispered with trembling voice, her forehead on his. She rocked him softly, as tears streamed down her cheek and dripped on his face. His screams faded until agonized moaning was all that could be heard from him. But the pain didn?t stop. Slowly the colour of his skin paled. ?No,? whispered Danielle. Then she raised her gaze to meet Xanatos?. ?Please,? she pleaded despaired. ?Stop it. I do everything you want.?

    ?You will anyway.?

    Can?t let this happen. Obi-Wan took a deep, sharp breath. Like in slow motion, he pulled out of Danielle?s lap. He looked at Xanatos with a stern gaze, as he struggled back to his feet. Now, Obi-Wan had done something the second time, that most people weren?t able to do one time. Again, he had managed to surprise Xanatos. The fallen Jedi watched unbelieving as Obi-Wan rose up fully. But the surprise didn?t last long. In one quick move, Xanatos reached out his arm an send the young Jedi flying backward. Obi-Wan screamed as he hit the wall hard. But he remained standing.

    ?Why can?t you just die??, Xanatos screamed, his face a mask of pure hate. But then something caught his attention. He raised his hand and looked at the remote control. A complacent grin washed over his face. ?Well,? he hissed. ?Lets see if you will live through this either.? And with that, he pushed the only button on the remote control, that he hadn?t used yet.

    Obi-Wan winced, as a needle in the collar pricked in his neck. Immediately his sight clouded. Slowly he slid down the wall, as his limps gave away under his weight.

     
  22. Kampfzwerg

    Kampfzwerg Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 31, 2002
    ~*~

    Flashback

    The sound of burning skin filled the room and a bestial fetor spread out, as the ring burned itself in the cheek.

    Like benumbed, Qui-Gon watched as Xanatos dropped the ring.

    ?The scar will always remind me, how you betrayed me. And what you took from me!?, growled Xanatos.

    ?I didn?t betray you! You always wanted to be a Jedi. I gave you this option.?, Qui-Gon answered with forced calm.

    ?Always wanted to be a Jedi, huh? Then tell me, do Jedi steal??, Xanatos asked hissing.

    ?No, they don?t! What is this for??

    ?Did you really think you lost the 100 credits back then?? The fallen apprentice smiled smugly. Qui-Gon frowned in irritation.

    ?What do you think, how I was able to pay for the crystal bird ??



    ~*~

    Danielle crawled over to him. ?Obi-Wan!?, she said persistently, as she looked in his half closed, unfocused eyes. ?You have to stay awake, okay?? She gripped his tunic and shook him softly. ?You have to stay awake.?

    ?I think: ,you have to stay alive?, would fit better.?, mocked Xanatos and pulled Danielle away from Obi-Wan. He held her in his iron grip, as he sank his head to her shoulder again.

    But this time she wasn?t paralysed. This time she could defend herself. So she rammed her heel bone in his ammunition. With a moan, he let go of her and sank to his knees. The guards chuckled secretly and just stood there, waiting for any instruction.

    Again, she hurried to Obi-Wan`s side. ?Obi-Wan??, she asked silently. ?Hey.? But he didn?t response. Full of panic, she took his arm and searched for any pulse?but found non.
    ?No?, she gasped and looked in his half closed eyes. But every sign of life had disappeared. ?No, please don?t.?, she begged under tears.

    \*\Danielle?\*\

    ?No, no.? She clutched him desperate.

    \*\Danielle, what happened? What?s the matter?\*\

    Sobbing she buried her face in his tunic. ?Oh god, please, no.?

    ?Take her away?, Xanatos hissed.

    Two guards stepped forward and gripped her arms. She screamed and struggled against the men. Tears ran down her cheek, like salty waterfalls. ?No, you have to help him! Please help him.? She kicked and slammed at the men, drove her foot in the face of a third guard. The man cursed and gripped her feet with another guard. ?Let me go! Someone has to help him,? she screamed hysterically, while she wined in the hold of the four guards.

    ?Here,? Xanatos picked up Obi-Wan`s cloak and tossed it over to one of the men. ?In case she get cold.? He mocked with a laugh, before they left the room.
     
  23. Jedi_Kitiara

    Jedi_Kitiara Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2002
    ohhh,... :mad: what a jerk!grrrr.up soon please.
     
  24. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    to many gaps, too fast, jumpy like a frog. state meanwhile, minutes, hours, during mission, ETC. so that we know where you are. to fast, slow down, fill gaps, stop jumping so much to diffrent scenes to quickly.



    Headache..............................................................................
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    ..............................a beta reader would be helpful for you, consider it.
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    ..............................Ouch, needs work. other wise not bad.
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    ..............................don't rush.
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    ..............................read it out loud to yourself, examine it.
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    ...................................... surprises are good at the right time in a story. secrets are too. ...................................
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  25. Jedi_Kitiara

    Jedi_Kitiara Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2002
    heelllloooooo.....up! did u desert this story?
     
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