Full Series The 'Stuff-We'll-Never-See' Thread

Or:

Anakin: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count. They're over NINE THOUSAAAAANNNNNNNNND!

 

Nice work keeping the flame alive, people. Kudos to Fistofan for leading the charge into the story finale.

Not much I can add except (holocommunicator rings) Y'ello? Whassat? Deleted scenes? Ooookaaay!

DELETED SCENES FROM THE BOUNTY HUNTER ARC!
Rako Hardeen: Drinks are on me, folks, because I killed a JEDI! (cheers in the cantina)
Patron: Wait...which Jedi was it?
Rako: (proudly) Obi-Wan Kenobi!
Patron: (gasp) You IDIOT!
Rako: Say what now?
Patron: Everyone knows you kill the nameless Jedi nobody cares about! The fact that you went after one of them FAMOUS ones means he's alive and he'll getcha!
Rako: Pffft. You've been reading way too many holocomics, man.
Patron: (muttering indistinctly) Oh, that's it, I'm outta here. Got a friend what stood between Quinlan Vos and Agen Kolar, and now he has to eat through a straw...Then there was that mess on the Bounty Hunter's Guild...

Boba: (to Bossk) -so that Solo kid left me holding the bag and here I am, can you believe it?
Bossk: Aww, someone's got a little crush.
Boba: I resent that. FYI, I don't even look at Han that way. There IS such a thing as a completely heterosexual obsession between two guns for hire.
Bossk: (nonchalantly) No there isn't.

Bane: Eval, ah know we need a ship, but dis guy seems shady even for me.
Eval: Oh, come now, Bane, let's not jump to conclusions-
Monkey lizard in cheesy salesman suit: Yeah, gots me a cousin on Florrum! He's got...sources.
Eval: So how much was it again?
Monkey lizard: A hundred grand, and that's the down payment.
Eval: WHAT? We could buy our own ship for that!
Bane: We ARE buyin' our own ship for that.

Palpatine: Ahh, Anakin, you MUST follow your feelings. They are what makes you unique.
Anakin: Yeah, right.
Palpatine: So you should listen to your gut.
Anakin: Okay.
Palpatine: (gesturing for him to follow) Which should be telling you...?
Anakin: (uncertainly) That...I should follow the bounty hunters?
Palpatine: Brilliant idea!

Sixtat: (gets onto platform to avoid poison gas) IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! (Embo roundhouse kicks him off) Well, I guess I asked for that one.

'Hardeen': Parwans can use their bioelectrical fields to get them through ray shields!
Bane: And how do you know dat?
'Hardeen': Finally, all those years of reading 'The Definitive Species Sourcebook' pays off!
Embo: (suddenly interested) Enko matawin gocho?
'Hardeen': Sure, I've got time for a game if we survive.
Bane: Hold on, ah thought dey changed it for de fourth edition.
Sixtat: Sixtat is surrounded by nerds!

Ki-Adi Mundi: (in the shadows with the council, as Anakin duels Dooku) What I don't get is, why don't we all just jump him? It's not like we've got anything better to do.
Eeth Koth: You know the rules. No interference unless Master Yoda decrees it.
Mace Windu: And the writers.

Dooku: You may have won this round, Master Kenobi, but I'll get you! And your little dog too!
Anakin: Hey, who you callin' a dog?
Dooku: And HIS little dog, too!
Ahsoka: Now that's just tasteless.

 

As always Koonfan

 

On Mauls Return

Yoda: Padawan Ashoka, troubled you seem.

Ashoka: Master Yoda ,remember how you taught us "always two there are , a master and an apprentice, no more no less"

Yoda: Yes , a point to this do you have?

Ashoka: Where does Darth Maul fit into this

Yoda: hmmmm, the dark side clouds everything

Ashoka: that's not an answer

Yoda: errr, count he does not...only half a sith he is.

Ashoka: no , a half still makes it more than 2

Yoda: unlearn what you have learned

Ashoka: Bull!

Yoda: [Whispers to mace]your assistance here, appreciated would be

Mace: What he's telling you is true...from a certain point of view

Obi-wan: [hiding round the corner with notebook] Man , that line is gold, I'm so gonna steal that

Ashoka: You guys are idiots!

bzzzzzzzzt!

ashoka falls to the floor

Yoda: From young Bonteri a useful trick this is. Keep this from Skywalker we must.

Mace: Agreed

 

*performs CPR on "You all suck! Get a life, you losers!"*

How much Soloba slash is there? Enough that Robot Chicken had it, and didn't imply Obi-Wan was gay. (Even if Alec Guinness got busted once, and for Ewan McGregor to be naked and seducing both genders is compulsory in his movies.)

And now I wish Ahsoka were a Shistavanen or a Defel.

 

Yeah, it's that time of the week again.

Dooku: It is time we exacted vengeance on the traitor, Ventress!
Grievous: For their cowardly attempts on your life, Count?
Dooku: That, and we neglected to disable her Acolyte clearance. She's been illegally using our Holonet access!

Mother Talzin: Veeeentress. You are now a true sister of the night!
Asajj Ventress: What would you have me do, mother?
Talzin: Feast and celebrate, for our sister was lost but now she is found!
Asajj: What? No assassinations? No torture? No psychological scars?
Talzin: Good gravy, no, we're a family! What do you take us for, SITH?
Asajj: Wow, this is turning out better than I thought!

Nightsister: I always wondered...if we're all sisters, and Talzin calls us sisters, why is she our mother?
Nightsister 2: Don't ask me, girl, I'm trippin' on magic gas.
Nightsister 3: Actually, it's more of a cultural, political title.
Nightsister: Really?
Nightsister 3: At least I hope so.

Mother Talzin: Old Dhaka! We require the Army of the Undead!
Old Dhaka: (inexplicably Jewish accent) Oi, you never call unless you need something, breaks my heart, does it? I remember a time when your sisters always called me, did whatever I asked.
Mother Talzin: My sisters are among your undead thralls.
Old Dhaka: And they sure as Sith never gave me lip, y'know! Now it's "Dooku this" and "Mandalorians that". (mockingly) "Dhaka, we need to drive the invaders away! Dhaka, the Nightbrothers are getting uppity! Dhaka, it's Zomb-con and we need more atmosphere!" Oi, the kids these days...
Mother Talzin: Maybe I'll come back later.

Mother Talzin: And now...a lock of the Count's siiiilveeer hair, so that he will know teeeerrible paaaiiiin!
Old Dhaka: I keep telling you to get over the man, he was no good for you!
Mother Talzin: You will never understand the mysteries of my heart!

Dooku: Remember, Grievous. I want you to find an important item which Mother Talzin appropriated from me in a moment of foolishness. It's in a durasteel footlocker in her chambers.
Grievous: Yes, Count! (later, after having acquired the container) Now, let's see what's in...oh, stang, are these LOVE LETTERS? Wow, the Count was really into goth back in the day...

Asajj: Time to see which of us is greater, Grievous!
Grievous: Bwahaha! I've always known I was greater than you! (pause) Wait, what do you mean by great? Because if you mean it in terms of Force sensitivity, you have an unfair advantage.
Asajj: Oh, right. And obviously, you've got raw power and speed because of your cybernetics.
Grievous: Lightsaber skills?
Asajj: Too subjective. Overall combat effectiveness?
Grievous: Now we're getting somewhere! So do we count large engagements?
Asajj: No, they're note relevant to a duel. Small troop tactics might work out, though.
Grievous: Yes, so we account for both our skill in combat, our ruthless efficiency, our desperation tactics, and how well we use our minions-
Nightsister: If they keep this up for much longer, I'm going to turn into one of these zombies.
Asajj: Alright, then. Now we shall see which of us is greater, with respects to combat ability (including and beyond lightsaber skills), small unit tactics, and minion quality!
Grievous: And culinary skills, let's not forget that.
Asajj: HA! Your nerf stew is EXTREMELY forgettable!
Grievous: (gasps in horror, ignites lightsabers) You take that BACK!

 

Padmé: We could use this lightsaber somehow.
Mon Mothma: Looks like a Jedi *puts on sunglasses* gave you more than one lightsaber last night. YEAAAAAAAH!
Bail Organa: When we're out of here, remind me to *puts on sunglasses* punish the lady from Chandrila for that bad joke. YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

The Reapers are coming. The galaxy burns. And you're here on a Star Wars site reading a comedy topic. Well, since it's mine, I'll let it slide.

Patron: (Asajj Ventress kills a bounty hunter and the cantina pauses only to carry on) What...what...did that just-
Bartender: Kid, last week, General Grievous gave one of our waiters his 'tip'. The other day two M&M coloured Zabrak brothers barged in and gave some of our info brokers their 'final reward'. (pours drink) The way I see it, it's refreshingly direct.

Belugan Captain: Now, I am warning you, bounty hunters! You may be encountering ninjas-
Zuckuss: NINJAS?
4-LOM: We did not sign up for ninjas.
Zuckuss: Zuckuss and 4-LOM are OUT! PEACE! (they leave)
Dengar: Well, gents, guess that leaves me.
Boba Fett: Pfft. They'll come crawling back. They've got nothing better to do.

Prince Ninja: Are you ready to strike a blow against the corrupt regime?!
Ninjas: YEAH!
Prince Ninja: To risk your life for our people?!
Ninjas: AYE!
Prince Ninja: And to save the life of my SISTER?!
Ninjas: YEEEAAAAWait, we're just after ONE person?
Prince Ninja: (disregarding) Then onwards to VICTORY!

Asajj: Be warned! The more ninjas you kill, the deadlier the remainder becomes!
Dengar: Whaddaya know about that, luv?
Asajj: (flips acrobatically) Plenty.

Dengar: (kicked off the train) Oh, they're gonna make me ride the giant bug, aren't they? 'course they are, nobody cares about Dengar...shoulda been a cop like me dad wanted...
Bossk: (just off the train) Think you've got issues? My mom wanted me to be a chiropractor!

Bossk: Nice helmet, Boba.
Boba: Thanks. I'd have taken a hat or a proper T-Visor helmet, but they were all bought out by Cad Bane and Death Watch.
Dengar: And where'd you get that scale boa?
Theelin: (gestures with scarf) I nicked it off Lady Agag's set. She's got so many weird outfits, she never noticed it was gone.

Ninja Prince: Hand over the cargo.
Belugan: Over my dead body!
Ninja Prince: You've just immortalised yourself on Wookiepedia. (stabs the captain)

 

Morley: Master, you have a... visssitor.
Visitor: Hello, my name's Ashla and I'm selling Padawan Products door-to-door!
Darth Maul: Peace is a lie... through power I gain victory... I. Am. NOTHING!
Ashla: H- Hello?
Maul: Wha-- wha, what? What are you selling?
Ashla: Cookies!
Maul: What kind?
Ashla: Hyperspace-alongs, Serrenoas...
Maul: What about thin mints?
Ashla: Those are discontinued...
Maul: RAAAAAAA... fine, I'll take a box of the Serrenoas.
Ashla: That'll be four credits, sir.
Maul: They were only two credits ten years ago! Get out of my home!

Obi-Wan: Well, Darth Maul has changed his Spacebook status from "dead" to "alive".
Yoda: Hmmmmm, no question there is, then. Spacebook Official this is, yes.

Savage: Mother... Mother Talzin! You were right! Your talisman led me right to Darth Maul! I couldn't have done it without you!
Talzin: I have a confession to make, my child. There were never any batteries in that necklace.
Savage: You mean... I found my brothrer all on my own?
Talzin: Indeed you did, Brother.
Maul: Hooray for self-esteem!
All three: Yeeeeeeeeah!

 

+1

 

Anakin: So, where is Mother?
Father: Somewhere. I can't really say. That's a spoiler.
Anakin: What?
Father: But she really likes your kid.
Anakin: I don't have a--What the hell is oging on here?
Obi-Wan: Retcon again?
Ahsoka: This one's even more confusing than the old version.

 

Waitress: Here is your caff sir, enjoy!
Savage: *takes sip* 10%! You call this cream?!

 

"Nice legs, I'll be taking them now." Grievous to Maul.

 

Hmmmmmm something we will never see...........how about a Season 5 preview

 

Waitress: Actually, we call it soy.
Boba: Great, something else that shares my DNA...

(You have to know about American agriculture to get that joke.)

 

Seriously, now that S4 is complete I'm dying for an S5 trailer.

 

Man... I can hardly take it. I almost fell like pulling a fanboys and storming the ranch! Ben 10, I shall loath you forever.

 

First Contact with an alien species.

 

Damn, this entire thread is full of Monkey Lizard and Lord Kowak gags, all of which are funnier than anything I saw in those 'Detours' clips.

I forgot how much fun we had with this!

Digging through this old stuff is awesome.

I miss koonfan though.

Shamelessly reposting for great justice:

 

The scene with Cad Bane in the pawn shop on Hutta expanded to have him doing a song and dance number while he's choosing a new hat: "Now a hat is a wonderful thing, you see. Every one has it's own personality. You just slip it on and instantly! You can be anybody that you want to be!"

 

Yoda: Know, everyone does, that rounding up is not the Jedi way! Learn you nothing from my Force math lessons?

 

So while my appearances will grow sporadic and I have not been on since the move, I'm touched that people still remember this with fondness! So what better way to commemorate this than with, what else, a Season 5 preview themed entry?

Darth Maul: We can help you take Mandalore!
Bo-Katan: I dunno, boss. These guys seem a little shady. Look at that ink!
Savage Oppress: (defensively rubbing his tattoos) Hey.
Pre Viszla: Nonsense, Bo-Staff Katana.
Bo-Katan: Bo-Katan.
Pre Viszla: Whatever. The point is, with our combined cool factor, we can stomp those pathetic pacifists and their goldfish-bowl helmet guards!
Maul: ...You've had trouble all this while against pacifists?
Pre Viszla: They...they had the power of the people?
Savage: Thaaaat's not right. I've seen dozens of holos, and every one of them says you're unstoppable warriors with an extremely desirable culture. Although now that I think about it, the fact that they were made by Mandalorians does seem a little odd...

Obi-Wan: We need a task force to stop these brothers before they unleash anymore destruction. To that end, I am leading a team. Master Gallia?
Adi Gallia: Of course, Master Kenobi.
Obi-Wan: And, uh...I'll take you, you and you.
Redshirt Jedi 1: Hooray!
Redshirt Jedi 2: You like us! You really like us!
Redshirt Jedi 3: (aware of his lack of character shields) Uh...I have a...battle...to get to. It's in the...sumpfin....macguffin...sector...strip.
Obi-Wan: Alright, it's just those two and us, Master Gallia.
Adi Gallia: (shudders) I sensed a disturbance in the Force.

Anakin: Embo! I thought you were cool, man! Why're you working for the highest bidder?!
Embo: <First I'm too honourable to be a bounty hunter. Then I'm not bounty hunting enough. Now I'm taking contracts like a bounty hunter, and you don't like my employers. There's just no pleasing you.>

Commander Wolffe: General Plo, what's our role in this engagement?
Plo Koon: (stepping off gunship) Occupy space and make the staging area look busy. I'll deliver the mission briefing, then leave Skywalker and Kenobi to resolve the mission while we take Corellian Ale and imitate Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.
Sinker: It really says that?
Plo Koon: Of course. Look, as mandated by the Council. (shows datapad of orders)
Boost: Huh. Right down to the impressions.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Don't feel bad. I've been doing it since the war began.
Plo Koon: Did you bring the Ale?
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Ohhh yeeeaaaah.

Palpatine: Remember. There can only be two! And you are no longer my apprentice.
Savage: Wait! You've got that Dooku guy, I've got my brother. Can't we go doubles, say there can only be two and two?
Palpatine: No.
Maul: Man, not in front of my boss!
Savage: I thought he was your ex-boss.
Maul: Shut up!

Hondo: Come, come, come! I have a gift.
Resistance fighter: Rocket launchers? (notices Ahsoka shifting uneasily) What's the matter with you?
Ahsoka: That monkey lizard's around. It's always around.
Hondo: Who do you think is piloting my ship?
Ahsoka: Where'd my lightsabers go?

Mace Windu: You droids are our secret weapon.
Pit droid: Oh snap, the screen's going to explode from our awesomeness!