Would it have helped Obi-Wan if Anakin had seen him in Moulin Rouge?

LOL!! I'm loving this thread! I can't believe I didn't find it earlier! I'll read through all the posts later.

 

This thread rocks! These are absolutely brilliant! So brilliant that I got excited and wrote this:

THE WAR MUST GO ON

(Padmé, Obi-Wan and Anakin are holding on in aboard the Clone Gun ship, where after Count Dooku. Padmé falls from the ship)

Padmé (on the ground, sings softly to herself, acapella):

I was a fool to believe
That peace could be achieved
The war starts today!
Yes, the war starts today!

(normal movie dialogue)
Anakin: PADMÉ! Put the ship down!
Obi-Wan: Anakin! Don?t let you personal feelings get in the way! We have a job to do!
(Anakin looks away sullenly)
(Obi-Wan sighs, points offscreen to cue the music)

Obi-Wan (turns to his Padawan and starts to sing):
Another planet, another war to fight
This is our calling! Ani, we?re Jedi Knights!
On and on, it is our job to fight for what needs fighting for!

Anakin (sings):
But I can?t leave her,
won?t leave her life to chance!
Now that I?ve found her,
now that I?ve found romance!
Dooku? Who cares! She is the only one that I am living for!

Now put the ship down!
Just put the ship down!


Obi-Wan (sings):
Outside the battle?s raging!
She would have done her duty and stayed strong for you!

We must strike him down!
We must strike him down!


Yoda (sings):
Skywalker?s anger rising!
His Master, he?s despising!
Go and save them, I will...
(flies off to the hanger)


Obi-Wan:
We must strike him down!
We must strike him down!


Anakin (leaps off the ship which has just arrived at the hanger):
I?ll kill him now!
I don?t care how!
I?ve finally found the strength, to carry on with the..
On with the...
On with the...

War!


Obi-Wan:
On with the war!


All Jedi:
The war must go on!

 

LOL!

I have been checking out this thread from time to time, and I must say you guys are amazing.

That was great Lelila ; I wish I had as much talent as you all to post something spectacular, spectacular.

 

I'm so glad this thread has lasted as long as it has.

 

Sooner or later you'll run out of songs to parody and move on to "Evita".

"Don't Cry For Me Jund-land Waste-laaands."

Meh.

I will come back with teh funny later.


THEFALLEN

 

I think it would allow Anakin to see the not so proper Jedi. edit this if i'm wrong or if this is offtopic but I think it would have also have helped if Anakin could see Obi Wan when he was younger y'know during the JA books

 

That is really great Leilia!

 

Anakin is a Teenage boy (20), vain and a bit of a Jock. I think he would think that being in a Musical was "Wussy" and he would of lost respect for Obi-wan... Untill he saw him Tagging Kidman...

 

well, i just saw Chicago the other day and for some reason, the song Roxie inspired me. SO...here I go.

?Vader?

Vader: The name that everybody fears
Is gonna be Vader
The Sith that?s gonna rule for years
Is gonna be Vader
I'm gonna be a Sith
That means somebody everyone knows
They're gonna recognize my eyes
My theme, my ?saber, my boots, my clothes

From just some dumb Jedi?s apprentice
I'm gonna be Vader
Who says that murder's not an art?
And who in case he is caught
Can say that he sure had fought?
Darth Vader!

Vader [spoken]: You wanna know something? I?ve always wanted to be a Sith.
And now that I'm a Sith, I'm gonna kill any Jedi that made me meditate.
Yeah, I'll get a clone trooper to work with - someone who can lift
me up, show me off - Oh, hell, I'll get a damn horde of troopers. It'll frame
me better. Think "Evil," Vader, think "Evil." I'm gonna get me
a whole bunch of troopers. Come on men! *clone troopers come out*

Troopers: They're gonna run like hell
To get away from Vader
Vader: Think of those Jedi I will kill
"The Force wasn?t with ya - Vader"
And I'll appear in a black cape
That goes all the way down to my boots
Troopers: Here a death, there a death
Everywhere a Jedi?s death
Vader: But always the best of taste
Oooh, I'm a Sith.

Vader: And I hate the universe. And the universe hates me for
hating them. And I hate the universe for hating me. And
we just hate each other. But isn?t the code ?There is no hate?? *laughs* hypocrites.
Troopers: That's right.
Vader: And that's life, kiddies.

Troopers: Oh, yeah.
He's giving up his humdrum life
Vader: I'm gonna be
Troopers: Vader!
He made a scandal and a turn.
Vader: And Obi-Wan will cry, I know
And hide on other planet above or below
All: Darth Vader!
Troopers: Vader......Vader....
Vader[spoken]: Come on boys, let?s go blow up the temple...

 

Hehe! Thanks guys! Those are wonderful! I need to see Chicago now so I know how the song goes!

Sooner or later you'll run out of songs to parody and move on to "Evita".

Okay, Fallen,...you tempted me!


Don't Look Away, Amidala
(Anakin to Padmé):

It isn?t easy
You think it?s strange
But I?ll try to explain how I feel
Why I still need your love
After ten years have past.

You won?t believe me
All you can see is the slave you once knew
Though I?ve grow up, and trained as a Knight
Still a Tatooine farmboy to you...

I had to let it happen
I had to change
Couldn?t stay all my life down at heel
On a backwater planet
Looking out at the suns

So I chose freedom
Flying around, trying anything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to

Don?t look away, Amidala
The truth is I never left you
All through my training
My mad existence
I kept you with me
Don?t keep your distance.

And as for power, and as for love
A Jedi craves not these things
But these feelings are all I have ever desired
My heart is aching
And freedom is not what I thought it would be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don?t look away, Amidala
The truth is I never left you
All through my training
My mad existence
I kept you with me
Don?t keep your distance.

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true.

(edits: typo)

 

This was too inspired to stop. Special thanks to my apprentice for some last-minute inspiration.

This comes from Chicago's "Cell Block Tango".

---

[ Introduction: ]

And now, the six dreary darksiders of the glowing afterlife in their rendition of: the Cell Block Tango.

[ Chorus: Xanatos, Lord Maul, Palpatine, Vader, Dooku, Alien #6 ]

Pop...
Six...
Squish...
BZZZ!
Deathstar...
Guard 4...

They had it comin?! They had it comin?!
They only have themselves to blame!
If you?d a been there,
If you?d a seen it!
I betcha you would have done the same!

[Spoken: Dooku ]

You know how Apprentices have these little habits that get you down?
Like? my second Padawan.
P-2, he liked to chew his braid.
No, not chew.
Crun-ch.
So I came to the quarters one day and I?m REALLY irritated and I?m looking for a little bit of compulsory foot massaging.
And there?s P-2, lyin? on the couch, slurping a muja foot and chewing his braid.
No, not chewing.
CRUNCH-IN?.
And I said to him: you crunch that braid one more time?
[Sigh]
And he did.
So I took the emergency blaster off my belt and fired two warning shots.
In. To. His. Head.

[ Chorus ]

[ Spoken: Xanatos ]

I met Bulba the Hutt in Mos Espa, Tatooine about two years ago.
He told me he was single.
And we hit it off right away.
So we started livin? together.
He?d go to the spice mines, he?d come home, I?d fix him a little drinky, we?d murder a few Twi?leks.
And then I found out?
Single, he told me.
Single. My. Ass.
Not only was he married, oh no.
He had six wives.
One of those Hutts, ya know?
So that night when he came home from the mines, I fixed him his drink, as usual.
You know some guys just can?t. hold. their. arsenic.

[ Chorus ]

[ Spoken: Maul ]

Now I?m standing behind a red laser wall.
Poking it just for effect.
Minding my own business.
In storms this Jedi, Qui-Gon, in an obnoxious attack stance.
?You just kick my Padawan in the face??
He was right.
He kept on screamin?.
?You just kicked my Padawan in the face!?
And then he ran into my lightsaber.
He ran into my lightsaber 10 times.

[ Chorus ]

[ Spoken: Alien #6 ]

Bzz. Buzz ba bzz bee bzz ba.
Bzzz brzp bezzp buzp.
Balla-bzp blzp.
Balzzp pzza bazznalbza.
Bzza. Binnazzap bzza ba bee bzz.

[ Xanatos: ] Yeah, but did you do it?

[ Alien #6: ] Bzz! Not. Guilty!

[ Chorus ]

[ Spoken: Vader ]

My stormtrooper friend and I had this double act.
And my wife Padmé traveled around with us.
Now for this last exercise kata we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5!
Splits, twists, lunges, parries, thrusts!
One right after the other.
So one night after working out, we were hanging around the Death Star.
The three of us drinkin?, havin? a few laughs.
And we ran out of Twi?leks, so I went out to get some.
I come back.
Open the door.
And there?s Padmé and the stormtrooper.
Doing kata #17.
The spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of rage, I completely blacked out. I can?t remember a thing.
It wasn?t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even realized they were dead.

[ All ]

They had it comin?!
They had it comin?!
They had it comin? all along!
I didn?t do it!
[He didn?t do it!]
But if I done it!
[But if he done it!]
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

[Spoken: Palpatine ]

I loved my Imperial Guard 4 more than I could possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy.
Sensitive.
A painter.
But he was always trying to find himself.
He?d go out every coffee break looking for himself and on the way, he found the Janitor, the Stormtrooper, the Cell Block Guard, and Vader.
I guess you could say we broke up because of a difference in opinion.
He saw himself as alive.
And I saw him as dead.

[ All ]

The dirty bum!
The dirty bum!
The dirty bum!
They had it comin? all along!
Cause then they used us,
and then abused us!
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

They had it comin?!
They had it comin?!
They had it comin? all along!
If you?d a been there!
If

 

LOL! TheFallen.

Wouldn't Zeta-Jones' "All that Jazz" dance scene be perfect in the background of the Club Outlander sequence. No wonder Anakin was distracted in his search for Zam.

Obi-Wan: "Anakin! How many times have I told you to stop gawking at brunettes."

Anakin: "Yes master."

Obi-Wan: "Redheads, on the otherhand,"


The "Razzle Dazzle" song that Gere sings would be a perfect filk for Palpatine. Yoda is his Jedi puppet.

 

I have the soundtrack for Chicago and I did a parody of one of the songs that got cut from the movie, Class. I'm not sure if I'll put it up though. (and i SO helped TheFallen in that!!! )

Edit: I was actually thinking that "I can not do it alone" for Palpy trying to get Anakin to join the darkside.

 

Hi, all!! I haven't been around in a long time, but I've seen Chicago, and the Palpatine version of "Razzle Dazzle" was just too good an idea for me to pass up! So, here goes....

Hope it doesn't suck!!

*********************************************

Palpatine is walking towards the Senate chamber to give his adress to the Senate. Turning to his aide, Mas Amedda, he sees the blue-skinned alien looks nervous.

"Chancellor", Mas Amedda says, "do you really think the Senate will grant you these emergency powers?"

Smiling chillingly, Palpatine replies.

"Don't worry, Mas. The Senate, the entire galaxy, it's all a circus, a three ring circus...."

As the two enter the huge Senate Chamber, Palpatine begins to sing.

"Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a speech with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate

Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with
Sequins in their eyes?

What if the republic is rusting?
What if, in fact, it?s just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous

Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear
The truth above the roar?

Throw 'em a fake and phony discourse
They'll never know you're just a Sith lord
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Back since the days of old methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

Give 'em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble
Put them in a trance

Though you are stiffer than a girder
They let ya get away with murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll give you your chance

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act that's unassailable
They'll wait a year 'til you're available

Give 'em the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy 'em
Show 'em the first rate
Emperor you are

Long as you keep 'em way off balance
How can they spot you?ve got the talents?

Razzle dazzle 'em
Razzle dazzle 'em
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll make you monarch!"

Palpatine makes his way to the podium with a much more confident Mas Amedda at his side, a sly smile curving his lips.

*********************************************

 

LMAO! THAT WAS GREAT! I went and saw Chicago last week (and TheFallen has never seen it. ) and i loved it so much. I'm posting Class now. I'm still mad it never made it to the movie. It's so true about the world today.

?Class? [after Anakin has turned.]

Mace (Spoken): The whole universe has gone low-brow. Thing's ain't what they used to be.

Obi-Wan(Spoken): Yes...

Obi (Singing):
Whatever happened to no fear?
And no love?
And nice manners?
Why is it every padawan now is a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

Mace:
Class.
Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"
And, "Yes, master?"
And, "Force be with you?"
Now, every son of a ***** is a Sith in the grass
Whatever happened to class?

Obi and Mace:
Class!
Ah, there ain't no Jedi
To open up the doors
There ain't no ladies now,
There's only Twi?lek *******
And even initiates will knock ya down
So they can pass
Nobody's got no class!

Obi:
Whatever happened to old values?

Mace:
And fine morals?

Obi:
And no breeding?

Mace:
Now, no one even says "oops" when they
Lob off your arm!
Whatever happened to class?

Obi:
Class.

Obi and Mace:
Ah, there ain't no Jedi left
That's fit for any use.
And any apprentice will turn to the darkside
For a deuce

Mace:
And even initiates will kick your shins and give you sass

Obi [a beat later]:
And even initiates will kick your shins and give you sass

Obi and Mace:
Nobody's got no class!

Obi:
All you ready about today are Siths and theft

MATRON
Oh dear force, is there no decency left?

Obi and Mace:
Nobody's got no class!

Mace:
Everybody you watch

Obi [thinking of Anakin]:
Has got his brains in his crotch

Mace:
Oh dear Force...

Obi:
Oh dear Force...

Mace:
What a shame

Obi:
What a shame

Obi and Mace:
What became of class?

Hope that one didn't suck.

YJ edit: Some of those words were not appropriate for these forums.

 

Here's one inspired by Les Mis for the clonetroopers:

At the End of the Day

At the end of the day you're just two more days older
And that's all you can say for the life of a clone
We take orders without question
Doesn't matter who's doing the giving
Born and bred simply to fight, to be alone.
Two days less to be living.

 

One of the funniest things I've ever read. Let's just hope the mods keep it off their rador.


TF

 

I haven't seen Chicago.

 

"Let's just hope the mods keep it off their rador."

Too late.

 

I have been edited...again.

Back on topic, i'm trying to think of other songs from Chicago or anything else to do. Anyone got any ideas?

 

If you keep things suitable for a family forum, your messages won't get edited.

 

If 'Cats' counts I did a Darth Vader version of 'Memory'...........

Midnight
not a sound from the ?troopers
Has Alderaan lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the fatal laser light
A mouse droid bumps into my feet
And the weapon begins to charge

Memory
All alone on the Death Star
I can smile at the old days
I was a Jedi then
I remember before the time I knew what the darkside was
Let Padmé live again

Every glowlamp seems to beat
a fatalistic warning
Palpatine mutters
and the glowlamp gutters
and soon it will be morning

Skywalker
I must wait for boy
I must think of my son and I mustn?t give in
When Luke comes
Palpatine will be a memory too
And a new age will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky Tuskens,
The stale cold smell of Tatooine
The glowlamp dies, another night is over
Another planet is mourning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone in the memory
Of my days as a padawan
If you confront me
You'll understand what pain is

As a Sith Lord constricts your throat

 

Too late.

FOILED AGAIN!


TF

 

Love the evita and Cats stuff unfortunately i haven't seen Chicago so I will wait to read them at a time when i'll have their nifty tunes running in my head. I foung a web sit with a star wars musical on it. It is all music and no staging but it's pretty great.

Dang I can't make a link. As soon as i can I'll share.

 

I had totally forgotten this thread! I feel hoooorible!

As I have not seen Chicago yet I can't sing along to all of the new filks... but I love 'em!