Yarael Poof is STILL My Dad

Maybe the death sticks were at first supposed to be candy that looked like YP, but then because they looked so hideous and people died from looking at them they became drugs and were called death sticks.

 

Poof is so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet.

 

Now that you mention it, he would make a pretty decent umbrella...considering the fact his head is so oversized like a large pumpkin.

 

As a fellow Council member, it is my duty to inform the board that Poof's destiny has been revealed via a secret source.

Apparently, at some point in the 10yrs between TPM and AOTC, Poof was chastised for hiding Yoda's cane and because of throwing rings around Mundi's cone out of boredom. It was then reported he flew to Tatooine in a shuttle and lost all of his money in a pod race and got several Twileks pregnant. After returning to Coruscant, he became a malingering fool and was always in trouble for insisting to Eeth Koth that Maul was his brother and by also by telling Yaddle that she might as well leave because she will never be as good as Yoda. Needless to say, things went from bad to worse and Poof was thrown into the Sarlacc!

 

[jedi council in the council tower]

MACE: we've been talking about this all day. i, for one, am getting hungry. anyone wanna order some general kenobi's chicken?

ADI GALLIA: sure. hey deepa, why don't you go and grab the menus from under the holovision.

DEEPA: no problem, anyone else know what they want?

YODA: hungry i am. the menu i must see. but too dark in here it is. and hard to see the menu in the dark it is. hard to see in the dark side of the room.

KI-ADI: did someone mention pink floyd?

[DEEPA hands YODA the menu and he walks over to the ikea halogen lamp]

[YODA begins to squint and reaches for the little round dimmer switch on the lamp]

YP: ouch! how many times do i have to tell you i am not a lamp!!!! and don't touch my belly button again you midget!!!!

 

When the Jedi were fighting Palpatine and Palpatine used lightning on the Jedi, Poof saved the day by using his long neck as a lightning rod.

 

LOL!!!!

Poof, you are a lamp. So get over it.

 

The fact is, there really is no Jabba the Hutt. It is really Poof inside a giant leather suit with stilts and wires. He does it for fun in the afternoons before he bobs for death sticks.

 

grilled sarlacc:

the thing of it is,

YP went into the sarlaccs mouth years ago,
but you can still see his head and hear him screaming,
"lamp, i am your father!"

(his feet have just passd through the center of tatooine btw)

 

S. Jackson on E!: "Yeah, that Yarael Poof dude was one tough cookie on the set. He was always pushing and shoving the other Jedi around the temple, claiming he was balancing the force. And (laughing), anytime anyone screwed up their lines, Poof would always say everything was happening just as he had foreseen. Wierd dude."

 

After several usuccessful attempts to balance the Force the Jedi finally realized that that task can be accomplished by hanging a couple of weights around Poof's neck.

 

LOL LOL LOL!!!!!

 

Kids: Hey, let's carve the pumpkin.

Poof: Ouch...ooh..hey stop that.

Sapient

 

LOL

 

Kid: Mommy, I learned in school today that if you suck the helium out of a balloon it can make your voice squeaky.

Mom: No wait, that's not a....

Poof: Yuck. For the last time...I am not a balloon.

Sapient

 

After finding out that Palpatine is the Sith master the Jedi conceived an ingenious plan to destroy the last Sith. They desguised Yarael Poof as a giant lolly-pop by paniting his head all sorts of different colors. Then they tied a big red bow around his neck, stuck a note in it, put Poof in a box, and they UPS'ed the brave Jedi to Palpatine's appartment. Unfortunately they never heard from Poof again.

 

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of Poof's brain?

 

God, it must be millions of licks. That numbskull has a 10 foot wide cranium.

Sapient

 

LOL!!!!!!!!!

Funny, funny. Poor Poof.

Just a misunderstood Jedi of the "Lost PencilNecks", banished to the underworld of Coruscant where is now a dancer in a glass cyclinder booth, dancing for death sticks.

 

Up

 

If you drive Yarael Poof far enough into the ground with a hammer, do you think he'd make a nice enough tee to drive a golf ball from?

 

No, but he could be used to drill oil.

 

I think his head would also prove very useful in trying to unclog a big one.

 

Maybe his head really isn't that big. Maybe if we push hard enough on both sides, it'll explode and we'll find out it was nothing more than just a big whitehead pimple.

 

Another great use for Yarael Poof.....

At a car dealership that's having a huge sale, you could have Poof's head flying high above the cars like one of those blow-up blimps the dealerships rent.