So CO Yoda's Advice Column

[yoda voice]Advice you seek, mmmmm, yes, yes. Wise you are to seek counsel. Help you I can. Troubling you, something is. Matters of the heart. Affairs of the pocketbook. At pod racing, lost your slave, you did. Help you, Yoda can. Of me, inquire...[/yoda voice]

[Ask away! Be warned. Yoda's answers apply to a totally different galaxy, far, far away. Yoda, and for that matter, anyone else anywhere on these boards, cannot be held responsible for any advice you receive here or for what you do with it. Some of it is quotes. Some of it is made up. Some of it comes from a magic 8 ball at work! But it should be fun. Oh, and don't ask anything you don't want spread all the way to the outer rim!]

 

Tell me Yoda, how can I keep my whites white while keeping my colors vibrant?

 

[yoda]
Well knows, Yoda, the problems of fade. 800 years keep your tunic looking this good!

Solution? Allow not a Besalisk your laundry to do. Better suited to cooking, they are.
[/yoda]

 

yoda how come i am so totaly awesome?

 

[yoda]
Clouded your vision is. 14 years not make one awesome. Much time required for that.
[waves hand]At home, rethink your life, you should.
[/yoda]

 

Mr Yoda... why do I have a strong urge to have people watch the Star Wars Holiday special without informing them of what a life changing thing it could be?

 

[yoda]
Poorly choosen, your icon is. Midichlorians, a long neck rarely travel. Your constant companion poor judgement is. Holiday special, the Dark Site it is. My agent, I must speak to.
[/yoda]

 

Tell me, Yoda, is it wrong to take steroids or other Force-altering substances to improve my Midichlorian count?

 

tell me yoda. how the heck did you know i am 14?

 

Jar-Jar could answer that one... it says it in your profile

 

[yoda]
Na-gong, strange your name is. And cheated, the Force cannot be. Path to the dark-side, Force-altering drugs are. Spanked, you should be.

MoD, great source of wisdom, profiles, are. Knows this well, JGoC.
[/yoda]

 

So I'm doomed to be a Forceless wannabe for life? I dunno, Yoda, that kind of attitude can turn a guy to the dark side...

 

[yoda]
Midichlorians you have, or have not. There is no add.
A weakling, dark or light. Of no concern is it to me. Whip your forceless backside I always will.
[/yoda]

 

yoda would you happen to know if i ma force sensitive.

 

If you're so great, Yoda, then why can't you shoot lightning from your fingers like Dooku and Vader?

 

[yoda]
MoD - Difficult to see through, the Internet is. Meet you in person I must, to answer you.

Na-gong - When next we meet, I'll fry your feet! Coruscant exists not, because you have not been there? Dangerous fingers, have I.
[/yoda]

 

what do i do if i cant go to this meeting on saturday?

 

[yoda]
Let go of your anger.

There is no emotion, there is peace
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge
There is no passion, there is serenity
There is no death, there is the Force

If there is no meeting, there is next time.
[/yoda]

 

i heard someone say the meeting after this one is in a public place is this true?(if so that means i can probably go(it increases the chances))

 

[yoda]
Always in motion, the future is.
[/yoda]

 

yoda why does it say that JD is watching me?

 

And now I am watching you too..

 

what does watching someone do though? thats really what i want to know.

 

Let's see now, the dark side isn't stonger, but it is quicker and easier, according to you, Yoda. It sounds like the dark side is more efficient. What do you say to that?

 

[yoda]
No. Wisdom of the Magic 8 Ball one should never question.
[/yoda]