A New Hope: The Pants Version

Ben:We haven't that many pair with us. We can give you two thousand pairs now plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan.

Han: Seventeen, Huh!

Ok you got yourselves a ship full of pants. We'll leave a soon as your ready. Dockers Size 94.

Ben: 94

 

Han: Looks like someone is beginning to take an interest in your pants size.

 

Han: A pair of black leather pants with a red stripe - this could really save my image. Get back to the ship and put your pants on.

 

Ben: You'll have to sell your white and black striped, coudoroy OP pants.

Luke: That's alright. I'm never coming back to this planet again.

 

Greedo: Going somewhere Solo.

Han: Yes Greedo. As a Matter of fact i was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba I've got his black leather pants.

 

GREEDO: It's too late. You should have gave him the pants when you had the
chance. Jabba's put a pricetag on your head, so large that every bounty
hunter in the galaxy will be looking for your favorite pair of slacks. I'm lucky I found you
first.

 

HAN: Yeah, but this time I got the Pants.

GREEDO: If you give them to me, I might forget I found you.

HAN: I don't have them on me. Tell Jabba...

GREEDO: Jabba's through with you. He has no time for smugglers who
drop their boxers at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

 

HAN: Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?

(Han Solo slowly pulls his pants down under the table.)


GREEDO: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your favorite slacks And socks.

 

Over my dead pants.

 

GREEDO: That's the pants! I've been looking forward to pants for a long time...

 

"Yes I'll bet you Pants"

( Han urinates all over greedo)

Greedo: AHHHH! I'm melting...

 

Han zips up and
starts out of the cantina, flipping the pantender some pants
as he leaves.

HAN: Sorry about the mess.

 

( damn I can see how this pants thing can get a bit taboo.)

INTERIOR: PANT STAR -- CONTROL ROOM.

VADER: Her resistance to the Panty probe is considerable. It will be
some time before we can extract any information from her panties.

 

The Final Checkout is complete... My pants are now fully operational.

 

TARKIN: Perhaps she would respond to an alternative form of pants
persuasion.

VADER: What do you mean?

 

TARKIN: I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of these pants. Set your pants for Alderaan.

 

Ben: You'll have to sell your pants.

Luke: That's ok I'm never coming back here again.


(did I miss "Lock the door, artoo""?

 

(Yeah, that's what should have come next.)

STORMTROOPER: Check this side of the pants. This door's pants. Moove on to the next pants.

 

THREEPIO: I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with your pants. I don't know what all the trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your pants' fault.

 

BEN: If his pants are as fast as he's boasting, we ought to do well.

 

JABBA: Solo! Come out of your pants, Solo! Solo!

 

VADER:"I find your lack of pants disturbing."

 

LEIA:"Governor Tarkin, I should have known I'd find you holding Vader's pants. I recognized their foul stench when I was brought on board."

 

ROTJ QUOTE (SORRY, I COULDN'T RESIST)
SOLO:"Way to go, Chewie! Always thinking with your pants!"

 

(Hey guys lets be consistant here)

from the meeting with Jabba:

HAN: I've been waiting for your pants Jabba.