JCC ITT you prepare me for my Jeopardy! audition

That's the gist of it, it's so outlandishly impossible and yet nobody is going to call you out on it for fear of being impolite. If you want to add some authenticity to it, just watch "The Gods Must Be Crazy" and then find a way to mention one or two things from the movie in your conversation and you'll be all set. Besides, nobody will remember it after you dominate the category of "Spacey, The Final Frontier".

 

Tell them you stalk Doctors.

 

Just remember that Frodo isn't a Pokemon.

And yes, dress like 10.

 

Yeah, about the buzzer thing, I have presumed in the modern era that you can't ring in until the question's been read. Right? I mean, you can still read ahead and have the answer ready before Trebek's done reading, but...

That... would be the best category ever.

I mean, I love history, but let's be honest, there's no way I was going to remember Leon Czolgosz without a snappy showtune.

 

I never remember how to pronounce "Czolgosz."

 

Which is also where the snappy tune comes in

 

Just pray that Sean Connery and Burt Reynolds also appear the same day you're going, and you'll be all set.

 

It's like having to pronounce this:


, isn't it?

 

Here's some random animal facts!

Dolphins can dive up to 1200 feet.

Orcas are actually dolphins.

Killer Whales got their name because their original nickname was "Whale Killer."

Beluga whales and narwhals have their own family in the cetacean order called Monodontidae.


Okapis despite looking like a horse mixed with a zebra are most closely related to the giraffe.


The world's largest rodent is the capybara.


The New Zealand Moa is the now-extinct ancestor of the Emu and Ostrich.

The hyrax, while looking like a rodent, is actually related to the Elephant.

Monitor Lizards are nicknamed goannas (just remember Johanna).

 

The crazy thing is, I knew 90% of that. I went to zoo skill as a kid and then I was a volunteer there another year I, uh, guess that's a boring fact?

You're welcome:

 

So you're rooting for an Animal Facts category, Film History, and a Sci-Fi Space one.

 

If the earth were the size of a basketball, it would be smoother than a basketball.

So there.

 

But could you dunk?

And why did I say zoo skill? I mean zoo school. It's late here. But yeah, animal facts I got. Movies and TV. Linguistics. Music is really my Achilles heel. Or anything to do with best sellers. I basically know nothing about modern popular lit or music.

 

This should help.

 

And remember, it's "S Words", not "swords".

 

And remember "the penis mightier" or is it "the pen is mightier"? I don't remember.

 

Anal Bum Cover!

 

Sporcle has a whole section of history quizzes. Get cracking.

 

So, when is your audition? Never mind, I went back and read your opening post. Not too far away, now, is it? Just remember to take deep breaths and stay calm. And be sure to get enough sleep. Okay, mom will shut up now.

 

Well, the audition is Thursday, and I'm going to stay in a hotel near there on Wednesday night because it's on the other side of LA and the last thing I need is to have to get up early enough to sit in LA rush hour all morning before getting there.

I have prepared my 5 'fun facts' about myself, though I'm still trying to decide what to wear. It's supposed to be something that you would wear on the show. The thing is, all I have is LA business casual stuff like dark jeans, nice short sleeve shirts, and a suit jacket. I could wear dress pants but would that be too dressy/businesslike? For anyone who doesn't know me well, I am the most casual dresser of all time so my selection is limited

I've been studying a decent amount. I have all the Presidents down in order and some facts about each. I have reviewed European monarchs. I'm still working on reviewing world and state capitals...

Mostly I'm annoyed that it's at 9am. What kind of a time is that for humans to be up and thinking about things?! I am literally more likely to still be awake at 9am than to have woken up by then

 

Wrong, Cliff was a genius, and gave the universal question to every answer: "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?" Tony Curtis is still alive, ask him if he's been in Cliff's kitchen!

 

When in doubt what to wear:

 

There is nothing wrong with being awake at 9am.

 

IIRC, it's better to use your index finger than your thumb to press the buzzer, it reacts faster.

 

Hope you get in! Remember to tell us when the episode airs!