main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Ring of Fire - The Final Story in Anakin's Saga - Author's final replies and goodbyes 2/23

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by geo3, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. nya

    nya Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 22, 2001
    Thanks for the PM! I am so happy that my favortite fanfic writer is continuing this story :) This is wonderful start to a very promising new fiction. I really like how you open with the firestones. It's a very attention grabbing opening sure to hook a reader. Beautifully written too. Can't wait to read the next chapter!
     
  2. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    More old friends have arrived! This is great! Welcome!

    Chenin No surprise that it's another brilliant start for you. I just love the way you write Anakin. I can read without fear, knowing that even if it doesn't end happily it will end well written.

    Thanks for dropping by! I?m glad you aren?t afraid of somewhat darker Anakin. I?m very grateful for your faith in me.

    LadyZ WOW! The first two posts are awesomely brilliant- it's exactly my type of story- I know I'll love it!

    Hello and thanks! It?s been far too long ? great to see you.

    Darth_Lex Great to see you back, my friend.

    And you!

    Wonderfully mystical and cryptic Prologue. Your Palpatine is the most deliciously diabolical I've ever found in fanfic, so I can't wait to see more of him.

    Thank you! There will be plenty more Palpatine, I promise. And he has been getting very occult on me lately.

    And then there's your Anakin... Just as in the concluding chapters of WOC, he leaps vividly to life as a young man well on the way to a fall to the dark side, yet still recognizably the road-to-Hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions hero as well. What I like most, though, is the way you instill Anakin with so much of Vader's personality from the OT - without (yet?) the same ruthless darkness. Written this way we can see how Anakin and Vader are at the core the same man (much as in Brother, Mine), and the latter merely a twisted and evil incarnation of the former.

    Boy, you sure know how to say all the right things, don't you? [face_blush] Thank you.

    Looking forward to wherever it is you take us on this last stage of your series.

    Thanks!

    Mr_Black Hmmmm?. Your Force signature is familiar?.

    What else could I do but genuinely appreciate that steadfast dedication/obsessiveness?

    Oh, dear... the "o" word ... It shows that much, does it? :p

    Intrigued that Palpatine uses thought/intellect to get in tune with the force, how in character that is for him, and how anti-thetical it is to jedi teachings; "Trust your feelings/control your feelings, etc."

    I think he uses both approaches, of course. ?When you learn to trust your feelings you will be the most powerful Jedi of all.? I think the key is that he will use ANY methods at his disposal to achieve his ends, without limit.

    Love the little aside about Palpatine arranging the stones only in patterns he recognizes. Effortlessly carries the theme of him as the shadow architect/puppet master, and how, in that microcosm of firestone constellations he puts his design and tattoo on galaxy at large. The actions of every person in the story are colored from his pallette.

    Yes. Exactly! *feels very crafty and smart now*

    That said, I'm not so sure Anakin's flame can be so easily extinguished, Palps. Your overconfidence is your weakness.

    HeeHee!

    FYI: For some reason, in this fic and the preceding installments, I always hear pre-suit Dark!Anakin having a vintage Dirty Harry idiolect. Makes for some unintentionally hilarious moments.

    Oh, please, no! If you keep this up I swear at some point in this story Anakin will end up saying, ?Make my day??.

    I cherish most every one of your stories, and will endeavor to follow this one closely. Keep on keepin' on Geo.

    Thanks so much!

    bobilll Hey, great to see this still going! I love the analogies with the firestones so far; it's a really creative way to tie in Palpatine's power and mystique into the plot. Also love the characterization of Anakin so far, definitely tending toward the Dark Side and all.

    Thank you very much! It's good to see you here.

    nya I am so happy that my favortite fanfic writer is continuing this story This is wonderful start to a very promising new fiction. I really like how you open with the firestones. It's a very attention grabbing opening sure to hook a reader. Beautifully written too. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

    Welcome, and many thanks
     
  3. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Chapter 1. The Rescue (Part II)


    ?Well, Aeron??

    Prince Organa of Alderaan looked at his assistant expectantly. The young man?s shining head of white hair, so typical of the natives of the Western Isles, gleamed softly in the pinpoints of light that were meant to give Bail?s onboard study a soothing ambiance.

    Unfortunately, the desired soothing effect didn?t work when you came under enemy fire. And in such an odd, unexpected place, too. They had been so close to their destination, Coruscant, that they had been traversing one of the most heavily traveled, well monitored, and presumably, safest traffic corridors in the Galaxy when the attackers struck.

    It was as if someone had known that where they would be. And when.

    ?You saw?? Still shaken as he was by the events of the last breathless half-hour, Aeron?s normally unfailing bent toward proper protocol was slipping a little.

    Bail smiled at him warmly, trying hard to look reassuring. It was very, very difficult after what he had just witnessed.

    ?I saw, Aeron.? I saw what we all saw: after the sudden, stealthy attack, the equally sudden and stealthy obliteration of our attackers. ?It seems the Republic has come to our rescue in the nick of time.?

    Aeron didn?t seem to be able to muster a return smile quite yet. ?A Commander something-or-other has requested permission to come aboard with a rescue team to check on us,? he announced somberly. His usual sharp wits seemed to be a little dampened, too. ?Our Captain gave permission.?

    Bail raised one eyebrow. ?Under the circumstances, we could hardly refuse them, could we?? He shifted in his chair, noticing for the first time how cramped all his muscles had been from sheer tension.

    Be honest, boy, the sharp voice of Bail?s maternal grandmother said in his head. It was fear.

    Bail ignored the voice as best he could. It always seemed to pop up at times of greatest stress. It was a source of everlasting annoyance to him that the clear voice of his conscience, or whatever it might be, had adopted that snide and obdurate old woman?s voice. Long after her death, her uncompromising honesty lived on in her grandson?s deepest heart and mind.

    ?Show the Commander in here, Aeron,? Bail decided quickly. ?I?d like to speak with him privately.

    ?Of course, My Lord,? Aaron murmured, still looking distraught.

    ?And then go get some rest,? Bail added. ?You?re excused.? Aeron nodded, looking relieved, and slipped out of the softly lit cabin.

    The Viceroy of Alderaan, Senator to the peaceful Alderaan system, leaned back in his chair and stared unseeingly at the ceiling. The adrenaline slowly was subsiding. He hoped he wouldn?t have to stand up any time soon.

    He?s on to you, boy, his grandmother?s voice said.

    She was right. She was always right. It was possible that the as-yet-unknown Commander of the Republic Army battle group that had arrived out of nowhere had, knowingly or not, just foiled a clever plan to assassinate him.

    We began as seven. Just seven. Now we are five. Only five souls to stand against the most powerful man in the Galaxy.

    Two members of their tiny, secret resistance group already had died. One had been a respected colleague in the Senate, the other, a dear, dear friend. Both deaths had appeared to be related to the war, of course. Unfortunate victims of battles on their home planets. Amidala of Naboo, the originator of this bold, desperate conspiracy among the very few trusted Senators who were prepared to oppose Palpatine at any price, only narrowly had escaped being tried and put to death for treason against the Republic at Palpatine?s hands. Bail didn?t yet know how she had survived. Once of his first goals upon arriving on Coruscant was to make sure that she was all right.

    But I almost didn?t make it to Coruscant.

    Bail had spent the last three weeks helping a fifth member of the group escape his home planet and find sanctuary on neutral Corellia. Y?lia was all right for the moment, as long as he remained there. The last t
     
  4. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    Ok, so I'm up early listening to the wind howl, watching snow fall, and trying to finish the next part of my own work, and I stumble across this distraction.

    :eek: :mad: 8-} ;)

    Honestly though, you manage in this paragraph to explain something:

    Ever since Anakin had left the Jedi Order to enter Palpatine?s service, he had lived as if he were holding an enormous weight above his head to prevent it crashing down on everything that was precious to him. Padmé. His unborn child. His own freedom. He kept that weight aloft out of love and hope and fear of what would happen if he failed. He used every resource available to him to keep Padmé and their child sheltered from Palpatine?s attention and awareness ? some of which involved enormous expenditures of energy in the Force. He held that weight at bay by staying fiercely focused. Wary. Defensive. By never, ever letting down his guard. He had learned to live with the constant ache of his longing for Padmé. He had learned to hold back his feelings. To go without. To want nothing other than the strength to carry on.


    In those twelve short sentences you manage to explain the drive that keeps Vader going. It's all about the strength of will necessary to endure the unedurable and go on. Add in a little dose of self-hatred and thirst for vengenance, both on speciifc people and the world in general, et Voila, Vader.


    Wonderful, simply wonderful as always....
     
  5. qingauk

    qingauk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2002
    I do concur with GRL.. that paragraph really explains Anakin's path he is taking and why. We have discussed this a lot, how he will do anything to protect those he loves.

    This is a great relief from the Blizzard of 05 howling , along with the dogs, outdoors. Superb chapter!
     
  6. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Yes, I concur with GunraysLawyer and qingauk about Anakin's path and his reasons for doing what he is. I thought it especially heartbreaking, too! It seems to me that they became married so they could have those feelings for each other, but now Anakin has to hide them, just as he would if they hadn't...

    Uppies!

    JS
     
  7. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Intense post! I liked Anakin's thoughts as he spoke with Bail. I liked the grandmother's voice as well, reminded me of my own grandmother! :D
     
  8. MissPadme

    MissPadme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 9, 1998
    Like everyone else said, you managed to sum up what motivates Anakin and Vader, for that matter. Bail is wonderfully-written as always; the conversation between him and Anakin is tense as each tries to read behind what the other is saying.

    --MissPadme
     
  9. bobilll

    bobilll Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    Hmm, it's interesting how you still keep Anakin relatively light at this point.. makes one really wonder what exactly does drive him over the edge. I love how the two regard each other, bail as Amidala's friend and Anakin as some strange commander.
     
  10. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    I'm with GRL, too. You have Vader's motivations down perfectly. If there is one way to explain Vader it is wary, and on-guard when it comes to Palpatine. Wonderful post!
     
  11. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    I really like how Anakin assesses Bail, always on guard and how he obviously doesn't like either alternative. If Bail really is on the same side as Padme, it means that they're still up to something and she is in great danger, but if he isn't, then it could mean that he betrayed Padme and tried to lure her into a trap.
    Very interesting and I can't wait to read more about this. I like your writing style, because it keeps the story interesting throughout the whole piece, without revealing too much at this point. Very well done. :)
     
  12. Lando_Plenty

    Lando_Plenty Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2002
    I was just about to highlight that paragraph to say how perfectly you captured Anakin there, and I see pretty much everyone's already said it. So ditto. :p

    Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing Y'lia again. :)
     
  13. LadyZ

    LadyZ Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2000
    Intense, indeed!

    Well, I certainly don't envy Bail and the others- it's a desperate situation, they have to do illegal things- while under suspicion...

    Great post! :)
     
  14. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Thanks for keeping the snarky grandmother?s voice as Bail?s conscience. I loved that idea. :D

    Wow, great Anakin/Bail standoff. Lots of unspoken thoughts on both sides, and very savvy probing of the other?s intentions. What makes it really fun is that they both know so little about the other, although I suppose Anakin knows more about Bail?s secrets than the other way around. Already I can see that the interactions between these two will be fun to watch. (I wouldn?t want to see them butt heads like this in front of Padmé, though. I don?t think she?s stand for it. :p )

    Can?t wait for more. ;)
     
  15. Mr_Boba_Jango

    Mr_Boba_Jango Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 20, 2002

    Good stuff geo3. :)

    It?s like watching two very good poker players summing each other up. What?s ironic is that they both care for Padme very deeply and would gladly give their lives to protect her, but both are cunningly wary of each other in these perilous times.

    And its also sadly ironic that Anakin Skywalker, the embodiment of emotion would have to keep his feelings in check like that. In essence he is denying his true self in order to keep his loved ones safe. Unfortunately, he's on the path to becoming the Vader we know, a master at hiding his feelings behind a mask. :(

    MBJ
     
  16. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    It's great to hear from everyone!

    GunraysLawyer Ok, so I'm up early listening to the wind howl, watching snow fall, and trying to finish the next part of my own work, and I stumble across this distraction.

    How lovely. Not far away, I was listening to the same wind howl and watching the same snow fall while I was posting?

    In those twelve short sentences you manage to explain the drive that keeps Vader going. It's all about the strength of will necessary to endure the unendurable and go on. Add in a little dose of self-hatred and thirst for vengeance, both on specific people and the world in general, et Voila, Vader.

    Yes, Vader.... who certainly didn?t suddenly spring from nothing. There had to be a path? for which I constantly search in my stories.

    Wonderful, simply wonderful as always....

    Thank you!

    qinguak I do concur with GRL.. that paragraph really explains Anakin's path he is taking and why. We have discussed this a lot, how he will do anything to protect those he loves.

    That much is certain!

    This is a great relief from the Blizzard of 05 howling , along with the dogs, outdoors.

    Another neighbor here in this little corner of the North East!

    Superb chapter!

    Thanks!

    Jazz_SkywalkerYes, I concur with GunraysLawyer and qingauk about Anakin's path and his reasons for doing what he is. I thought it especially heartbreaking, too! It seems to me that they became married so they could have those feelings for each other, but now Anakin has to hide them, just as he would if they hadn't...

    Well, at least in this story their marriage is public...but of course, they both still have to be very careful.

    VaderVR64 Intense post! I liked Anakin's thoughts as he spoke with Bail. I liked the grandmother's voice as well, reminded me of my own grandmother!

    Thanks! Is having a grandmother with a voice like that a good thing or a bad thing?

    MissPadme Like everyone else said, you managed to sum up what motivates Anakin and Vader, for that matter. Bail is wonderfully-written as always; the conversation between him and Anakin is tense as each tries to read behind what the other is saying.

    Thank you! Yes, those two are definitely circling around one another.

    bobilll Hmm, it's interesting how you still keep Anakin relatively light at this point.. makes one really wonder what exactly does drive him over the edge. I love how the two regard each other, bail as Amidala's friend and Anakin as some strange commander.

    Well, I think that was a good part of the motivation for continuing the series with this story. Even though we know it gets darker fast, I just wanted to linger on the ?middle bit? for a while longer? there had to have been some good times, right?

    rhonderoo I'm with GRL, too. You have Vader's motivations down perfectly. If there is one way to explain Vader it is wary, and on-guard when it comes to Palpatine. Wonderful post!

    Thanks! I?d say he certainly has good reason to remain that wary?

    Indra I really like how Anakin assesses Bail, always on guard and how he obviously doesn't like either alternative. If Bail really is on the same side as Padmé, it means that they're still up to something and she is in great danger, but if he isn't, then it could mean that he betrayed Padmé and tried to lure her into a trap.
    Very interesting and I can't wait to read more about this. I like your writing style, because it keeps the story interesting throughout the whole piece, without revealing too much at this point. Very well done.


    Thanks very much! The plot will get thicker still, I promise.

    Lando_Plenty I was just about to highlight that paragraph to say how perfectly you captured Anakin there, and I see pretty much everyone's already said it. So ditto.

    Thanks!

    Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing Y'lia again.

    Noted.

    LadyZ Intense, indeed!

    You ain?t seen nothin
     
  17. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Chapter 2. The Inner Circle



    A light breeze from the open terrace door teased the wisps of hair around Padmé?s face. She raised her hand to brush them away from her forehead and, lured by the playful waft of air, let her attention drift to the bright morning outside. Beyond the vines and flowers that draped the stone balustrade, the ancient city of Theed lay spread out below as far as she could see, familiar and reassuring. Less reassuring were the new, tall flagpoles that pierced the skyline throughout the city, competing for attention with the graceful green rooftops and spires and turrets of Naboo?s distinctive architecture. The same innocent breeze that had called to her made the identical banners on the flagpoles flap and snap, revealing again and again the symbol of the Republic.

    The banners had appeared throughout the city for the investiture of Naboo?s new military governor, and for some reason, never had been taken down.

    Reluctantly Padmé returned her attention to the long and complicated list on the datapad in front of her. She didn?t notice that Sabé had put down her needle and thread and was watching her.

    ?This is incredibly difficult.? Padmé muttered, mostly to herself.

    ?Difficult doesn?t begin to describe the mess we?re in,? Sabé commented, and then quickly shut her mouth again, as if she regretted her words. Instead, she went back to laboriously tacking a length of embroidery onto a glittering gown.

    Surprised, Padmé stared at her. There was a rather heavy pause.

    ?Try to remember that I?m lucky to be here at all,? Padmé finally said into the lengthening silence.

    ?I know, My Lady. I?m sorry. It?s not that I?m not grateful for that every day.? She changed the subject quickly. ?What are you working on?

    ?I have to finalize the staffing for the Senate Delegation office on Coruscant. I find can?t just choose people on merit and longer. I have to think about their families ? whom they leave behind if something happens to them. I have to think about their discretion. I mean, I always had to think about that, but now?? The breeze ruffled her hair again, more insistently this time. Padmé put aside the datapad and stood up to wander closer to the open balcony, unable to resist the temptation of the air and the light and that fickle breeze.

    ?Loyalty is the most important consideration,? Sabé said firmly, ?And not just loyalty to you. We?re a close-knit team. We have to be. If one of us is less than absolutely bound to the others, we all will suffer.?

    ?It never used to be this hard to know whom to trust,? Padmé breathed the warm, scented air hungrily, drawing it deeply into her lungs. The plants outside on the balcony were heavy with red and white blossom. ?Loyalty is something we Naboo have always been good at. Loyalty not to an individual, but to Naboo. To our values. To our way of life. Everything else flowed from that.?

    ?Things are different now.? Sabé scowled at her handwork.

    ?Once the whole planetary system trusted me to do what is right.? Padmé closed her eyes while the merry breeze began to play around her face again. It occurred to her that with her return to Coruscant only days away, it would be along time before she felt breezes like this again. ?Now many have doubts about me. I know they do. A charge of treason is not a frivolous thing.?

    Padmé had learned just how onerous a burden that accusation had been when she?d had to fight to be allowed to finish out her term as Senator. While the charges of treason against her had been dropped, the Republic had neither issued an apology nor expunged the accusations from her public record. As a result even Padmé?s staunchest allies and supporters at home, the ones who never for a moment entertained the thought that Padmé would act traitorously, had been hesitant to throw their support behind her without knowing whether she was in or out of favor where it counted ? with the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.

    And Palpatine had known that all along. Of course he had. ?If your wife can persuade the new government
     
  18. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Sigh, such an amazing post. I love Padme's fierce loyalyty to Anakin, Sabe's blunt honesty... the whole thing... keep it up my freind!
     
  19. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    Ok, let me say this: It is a great idea for Padme to:

    1) continue in the conspiracy that has effectively cost her husband his freedom through his efforts to save her; and

    2) to keep people around her that don't trust her husband given #1.

    Yes, I am being sarcastic.

    I don't want to seem too hard on her, but she continues in the pattern that got her into this situation. She seems to fail to recognize that the Universe has changed or is in the process of changing. She has sacrificed much, but the truly bad outcomes have generally happened to other people (Bale, Anakin) all for admitted good ideals.

    Yet, she still strikes me as a fundamentally naive ideologue on many issues regarding the Republic. She is sort of like people (not including the Administration if you listen closely) who think the first real election in Iraq in 40 years will produce a late 20th century Western State complete with concepts and freedomns that have only rarely existed there. Why? Cause that's what 'democracy' means. The more cynical types understand that the elections might mean accepting an Islamic republic of some form and accepting things that we wouldn't accept here. It's that sort of flexibility that she seems to lack.

    Unfortunately, I know the ultimate outcome (we all do), and I just wonder how much of the blame for it lies on her inability to change with the universe.
     
  20. stacysatrip

    stacysatrip Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2002
    Sorry I didn't respond to the previous post, but I'll do it now. It's as simple as this--the yearning Padmé and Anakin have for each other is touching and beautifully written. But just as importantly, you've conveyed their separate devotion to their duties (even though their duties aren't any longer in the "format" they might have liked...they have very little control over their own destinies now, do they?)

    Great job!
     
  21. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Another amazing post. I could feel Padme's intense loyalty and her feelings for Anakin. Lovely!
     
  22. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    Great post, geo! I love the political intrigue and intensity of Anakin's and Padmé's love and feelings for each other, even in the face of the obstacles they face and the people around them pulling them in different directions.
     
  23. nya

    nya Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 22, 2001
    Sorry that I haven't replied in a while. I have been moving and have been away from the PC. Anyway, this is a great post. I absolutely love how you portray Anakin's unshaking devotion to his family's safety and Padme's blind devotion to him. I have to agree with GunraysLawyer. Padme is rather unable to flow with the current and it is going to get her into heaps of trouble in the future. A tree that cannot bend in the storm will break. I can see poor Anakin being faced with another life or death decision to choose sides again. Only I truly hope that the next time he won't make a bad decision. Yeah I know, Anakin is destined to fall to darkside, but I have to cross my fingers and hope that he won't.
     
  24. qingauk

    qingauk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2002
    You have done an amazing job here of expressing the anxiety of the situation on the part of all the parties involved! Great thoughts of Padme! And Sabe.. wonderful work on her loyalty..

     
  25. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    She has sacrificed much, but the truly bad outcomes have generally happened to other people (Bale, Anakin) all for admitted good ideals.

    Yes, once again I agree with you. I'm still a little shocked that she's pushing to get back into office even though Anakin sacrificed his freedom to save her life. But that's her character, I suppose.

    Lovely post, geo3. I enjoyed the part where Padme greeted her belly!

    JS