Star Wars Fan Fiction Writing Game!

and for a few minutes there, they've forgotten who they were, and the boundaries that separated them...

that is, until ...

 

The Grand Moff's top Imperial Officer entered the room.

"Captain Paolo of the Star Destroyer Enterprise reporting for duty, sir."

Only then did he notice the awkward moment.

"Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!"

 

The Grand Moff Moffet regained his composure and sent Darth Ball away.

"Got carried away there..." he mumbled. He straightened up and said in a more composed voice, "Yes, Captain, status report?"

 

... "we are entering the delta quadrant... i've finished thouroughly inspecting the crew, i mean the ship... our new borg science officer and the vulcan subcommander are undergoing my personal scrutiny... their names are 6 of 9 & t'itpol ...


... i think i'll go back to checking her out... cant be too careful..."

the grand moff said...

 

"Wait a minute! Why wasn't I informed of these new personnel? And why are you the only one checking them out?!?!?!" he said, obviously irritated.

 

... "i shall be the one to perform the final inspection on these women... i mean... imperial personnel...

... they will receive my full attention...

... darth ball, you have the bridge...

 

The Grand Moff and Capt. Paolo J. Caparas were checking out the new crewmembers.

"6-of-9 reporting for duty, sir."

"T'itpol reporting for duty, sir."

The Gand Moff's jaws dropped. He couldn't stop looking at 6-of-9's slender, shapely figure. He looked at her from head to, uhm, feet. But his eyes focused on 6-of-9's big, round, luscious-looking...

 

... brea... i mean throw pillows... 6-of-9 had just been violently woken up by captain paolo and rushed to the bridge to see the grand moff... she was wearing a very skimpy and definitely revealing ...

 

... necklace...

... upon which was a locket with a picture of 6-of-9 and t'itpol in a very compromising...

 

... position. The Borg was shoving the Vulcan away, apparently trying to get T'itpol not to block the camera's view of her in the picture.

 

... the grand moff ordered the two women into his private quarters... "wait for me there and disrobe, i mean change into something more comfortable... i'll be coming in a short while ...

... and start the 'crack shot' video...

... to get you ladies warmed up"...

meanwhile the emperor, the dominatrix were escaping with the twi'lek jedi in custody...

 

and Capt. Paolo sneaked into the room and started to de"brief" the two... suddenly, a resounding scream from across the hall...

 

... the towering darth ball comes running in wearing only his menacing helmet and his cloak... he was trying to keep his privates... uhm... private...

... behind him was the private entourage of the grand moff, he had been peeking ito their (un)dressing room...

.. he bumps into captain paolo j caparas and they end up with darth balls exposing himself a few inches from the captains face...

 

But when he fell, his face mask was knocked askew. It revealed the face, not of Darth Ball, but of someone else. The Grand Moff knew that face well... a face he's only seen a few times, but would never forget.

"Darth Anakiningining!" the Grand Moff exclaimed.

"Yes! Damn you all," he hurriedly tried to cover himself up. "I only did this because my twin, Darth Ball, always got the attention. They always think he's sexier than me! I'm sick of it!"

"Tell me, Darth Ningning, what happened to the real Darth Ball?" asked the Grand Moff.

 

"I locked him up where you can't find him! Bwahahahahaha!" Darth Ningning replied.

The Grand Moff was disturbed. He gave himself to the one he thought was Darth Ball. Now it turns out that it was his evil twin. He looked at Darth Ningning for a long time and decided....

 

..."I have been a fool not to notice the difference of your physiques. I knew it...I knew it! Oh, my passion betrays me!"

Darth Ningning looked crestfallen. All he wanted was to be loved, desired...it was his lifelong dream to stand in the throes of a girl-guy crowd, all wanting him, all desirous of ripping his black top off...

But more importantly, he wanted to be loved. By him. The Boss. The Grand Moff.

And to see his Grand Moff sad...was more than he could bear.

"Okay," he reached for the Grand Moff's drooping shoulders, "I will tell you where my brother is. It pains me to know that I can never measure up to the kind of sexy devil that he is, but it pains me more to see those tears drop from thine eyes. So I will tell you."

Silence.

"My brother..is...in...."

 

... Coruscant. I actually convinced him to work at one of the more... seedy... clubs. There he peddles death sticks and sells...."

 

"Bantha-Poodo proof underwear....on the side, he also performs as the Stormball Tribute One man boyband in that same bar."

The Grand Moff was infuriated. "Those seedy bar-dwellers don't deserve the sight of his splendid physical attributes!"

Darth Ningning exploded. "See! See, that's what I mean! he's always sexier, he's always better! Why can't I be more devilishly dashing and handsome for a change?"

The Grand Moff was thunderstruck. He felt pity for this, this underappreciated twin. He approached Ningning, held up his teary face, and gave him a big, huge, wet.....

 

... handkerchief soaked in tears. The Grand Moff seem to be teary-eyed too.

An exasperated Captain Paolo J Caparas suddenly came forward.

"Okay. Go cry, everyone. I'll go debrief the new crew!"

And with that, he stomped off.

The Grand Moff looked at the retreating Captain Pao, then at Darth Ningning, then at Captain Pao, then at Darth Ningning.

Finally, he....

 

at ano nanaman ba ito aber?

 

ADVISORY: please ignore the previous post...apparently it was written by someone who has no idea what is going on right behind his back...

...(now back to your regularly scheduled nonsense)...

...gets down on his knees right in front of darth nining... his face a few inches from the greatest asset of the mysterious anakiningining...

...opening his mouth to...

 

... shout, "Wait a minute! Captain Pao, get back here!"

Captain Pao came back to the Grand Moff. The Grand Moff looked down at his name plate.

"For the love of the Emperor! My eyes were not deceiving me! It is you! Captain Paolo J. Caparas! Wow! It's yooooou! I didn't realize it until now! I never knew that was your full name! Wow! I love your work." he said, babbling, and trying to shake Captain Pao's hand.

"You do? Wow! Thanks, Grand Moff. Coming from a connoiseur like you, that's high praise. That's just a sideline for me, though. Serving the Empire is still my priority," Captain Pao said in a respectful tone.

"Wait a minute!" Darth Ningning exclaimed. "What is happening? What's the fuss about? Who is this guy anyways?"

"He is Captain Paolo J. Caparas, Commander of the Star Destroyer Enterprise," the Grand Moff said proudly...

"... and the absolutely talented director of many of my favorite films... including Crack Shot."

 

Darth NingNing falls to his knees at the feet of Captain Paolo J. Caparas, he began kissing the good captains feet... exclaiming

"I LOVE YOUR WORK!!!"

"that 'Crack Shot' video was the best!!! and the DVD version is even better with all the deleted scenes, i especially liked that new actor you discovered, the one who claims that he is 'sexy in leather', he was really good in his scenes, whatever happened to him?

Captain Paolo J. spoke

 

"oh... he was nominated Best Supporting Actor at the Imperial Film Institute Awards, and the Golden Gungan award for best newcomer... and FAMAS Star of the Night."

 

... but he lost every single one of those awards...

...his acting was impeccable...

...its his choice in wardrobe that leaves much to be desired...