Saga The Very Secret Diary of Darth Vader (Dear Diary Challenge) - humor - Reposted together!!

You'd think Vader would be a little less warm and fuzzy about Luke being a Jedi... Little does he know he'll be Emperor soon, although not for long.

 

Hey! Doesn't Luke throw his lightsaber aside during that line? Vadey should give him the "this weapon is your life" speech!


Cue ominous Sith lighting music...

 

Really short entry...right, Anakin Junior. Proud papa moment!

I don't think he's going to like what happens next....

 

I can't believe I kept missing updates! This is getting too funny! Vader's narration of the fight is great.

 

Emperor tried to sway my son to the Dark Side, but Luke/Anakin Junior just said, ?I am a Jedi, like my father before me!?

Knew naming him Anakin Junior was a good idea.

Ah! The proud papa!

 

Well maybe he would've been included more in the naming of his kids if he weren't so strangle-happy.

 

A little proud there Vadey? So Vader's having one of those proud parental moments, but what's he gonna think when Palpatine fancies a spot of roasty toasty Jedi? Why does something tell me that Vader could very well believe that Luke deserved it some how, just as much as he's gonna be furious at Palpatine for even laying a single Watt on the boy.

 

Jade_eyes: Me too! Very inspirational

earlybird-obi-wan: Still Vader ? too cool a name to give up

JediKaren: Nope

GrandMasterKatarn: Nope!

Daena: Thanks!!

Darth_Furio: Thanks!! Unfortunately, yes

Azure: Yep

TMJ: Well, no official coronation or anything

Ale: Vader?s a bit preoccupied with being full of himself at the moment

dm1: No, not really

Ardy: Not a prob; I understand busy Thanks!!

Vadey: Quite

Ubersue: Strangle-happy ? I like that

Cazz: Well, teenagers do cause a lot of trouble



Entry Fifty-One

Emperor tried to electrocute my kid, so I picked him up and threw him into the reactor shaft. Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor.

The rebels started to destroy the Death Star v2.0 (Nooo!!! MY VIP LOUNGE!!!) so Luke/Anakin Jr. and I hightailed it to a ship.

Unfortunately, the Emperor managed to electrocute me and I was near death (and just when I?d managed to kill him and take his place! Life is so unfair) so I collapsed, told Luke/Anakin Jr. to tell his sister, aka Princess Leia, that there really was good in me (I?d saved my son, after all), and then made him take off my helmet.

Turns out that breathing without it is a bit hard. Plus, I so look less intimidating.

 

Super update.

Yes eliminating the Emperor 20 years ago would have saved everyone a lot of grief

 

Indeed it would have.

Wow, I think this was the longest entry... and then he dies... so I guess that would be the end of the diary, unless he has posthumous entries.

 

(Nooo!!! MY VIP LOUNGE!!!)

"I'm dying! But Junior, run back and save the VIP lounge!"

 

great entry. laughed so hard it scared my cat.

 

Good entry.

 

Another funny but yet sad entry. Vader's final thoughts are his turest. The VIP lounge is gone. Sad. Anyway, well done NYC. Loved every entry.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Not the lounge!

 

Poor Vader, he should have done that but being emperor He couldn't have saved his son. Last entry? Or will he comment on Anakin jr in the afterlife?

 

Now there's a thought!

 

Don't worry Vader, soon you'll be up in that great, leather upholstered VIP lounge in the sky... Although you may have to deal with Obi-wan hogging the Caf machine.

I'm absolutely -ing, but after all these years, Vader's death still gets me.

 

Unfortunately, the Emperor managed to electrocute me and I was near death (and just when I?d managed to kill him and take his place! Life is so unfair) so I collapsed, told Luke/Anakin Jr. to tell his sister, aka Princess Leia, that there really was good in me (I?d saved my son, after all), and then made him take off my helmet.



You mean all I had to do was push him down the elevator shaft?!?!?!


Turns out that breathing without it is a bit hard. Plus, I so look less intimidating.

Like in "Airplane!" when someone keeps accidentaly pinching off the old lady's oxygen supply!


Is this it??? Will we see Vader partying in the afterlife????

 

Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor

That would have made for a very interesting Galaxy, wouldn't it?

Nice to see Vader keep his sense of humor intact while he lay dying.

Great update

 

Emperor tried to electrocute my kid, so I picked him up and threw him into the reactor shaft. Wish I?d thought of that twenty years ago; could?ve saved myself a ton of trouble wishing I was Emperor.

Don't you hate it when you come up with the perfect come back...just too late?

 

Jade_eyes: Thanks!! Yeah, right?!

dm1: Yeah, near-dead people get chatty There is one more

Ardy:

JediMasterKatarn: Thanks!!

Daena: Thanks!!

Darth_Furio: Thanks!!

Azure:

earlybird-obi-wan: There?s one more entry

dm1:

Cazz: Yeah, but at least it was a good death ? he saved his son

Ale: Airplane is a great movie And there?s one more post

Kelia: There would be lots of caf. And banthas. And Tarkin definitely would have met his death sooner Thanks!!

Vadey:



Okay, this is it - the final post. It's about half a year too late (I wrote 52 entries for 52 weeks . . . and then kept forgetting to update ).

It's been an awesome ride. Short as the story is, it's been one of my favorites to write. I'm glad so many of you loved it too - thank you so much for all your support

I don't have any plans for a sequel, though I have toyed with the idea of writing another diary for another character. However, I do recommend reading Jaya Solo's The Once and Future Sith Lord and Blindman's The Vader Monologues - they're both awesome, funny stories I'm also planning to, as requested about a year ago , post all the entries together at the end to make catching up/rereading easier. I'll do it in a few days


Thank you so much for reading It's been a blast


Entry Fifty-Two

The Force is all life, and that crap. I wasn?t feeling the goody, peace-loving vibes in the afterlife (and by ?feeling? I mean that I felt other people doing it and didn?t want to join in). Instead, I decided to look for the VIP lounge. This place had to have one. Maybe I would get a pet bantha, shake the place up a bit.

While looking for the VIP lounge, I ran into Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu, with a backup of a few hundred people I?d killed.

?Hello, Anakin,? Obi-Wan said.

Oops.

 

So ... funny literally from first word to last!





Am reading Once and Future Sith Lord and it is a riot so must needs check out Vader Monologues

 

Just read this whole thing. Fantastic. He's so casual about everything.

Oops

 

Young Anakin again oops

Loved the entire diary