How would Famous Authors write your favorite SW Scene?

That Hemingway was really good, aleja! I just recently read A Farewell to Arms for school.

And the Sweet Jedi High is hilarious, too.

 

Oh dear gwad... forgive me what I am about to do. (btw I was LMAO at the other ones).

{clears throat} Ahem... A made up scene: Robert Jordon style.

{knows lighting is going to strike her}.
-----------
Inside him the Force raged. He was the Jedi Master and all the powers of life were singing through his blood even as revulsion rolled through Luke. While holding the Force, its sweet song seeked to engulf him. He danced on a sword's edge battling to maintain control and not loose himself to the music.

Turning to the beautiful woman behind him he knew that her outward apperance was a desception. Brown hair in braids, back straight, skin smooth and eyes unblinking she watched him intently. Her face gave away nothing. It was only while he was holding the full power of the force that he could feel her uneasiness.

Liea's hand began to tremble as she noticed the change that came over her brother's eyes whenever sized the force. Liea looked down smoothing her skirts and adjusting her shawl.

The door opened and Kyp walked in. A voice inside Luke's mind screamed 'KILL HIM! KILL HIM NOW!'

--Onnie

 

Per Dewlanna's e-mailed request -- blame her, not me :-D

"Darth Vader's Diary" if written by Helen Fielding, the author of "Bridget Jones' Diary"


Thursday, April 17
Number of people Force choked to death: 2
Number of pesky Rebel spies physically choked to death: 8
Weight: 423 lbs (+ 2 since yesterday! Eek! Must see engineers about constructing lighter prostethics)

4:12 p.m. Oh bother, bother, bother! The invitations for the Emperor's ball were sent out last week and I have YET to receive mine. I'm doomed to remain loveless and widowed for the rest of my life. Consoled myself with a half pint
of Ben and Jerry's Coruscant Crunch, but after swallowing last bite realized am sabotaging self by using food as substitute for affection. Threw out all remaining Ben and Jerry's cartons and resolved to buy only mynock steaks and green vegetables from now on.

5:15 p.m. Home from store with new stock of Ben and Jerry's.

8:12 p.m. Made appointment with tailor. From now on nothing but black suits, capes and masks as am told black is slimming. Celebrated purchase of new wardrobe by finishing off the last of Tarkin's birthday cake.

9:56 p.m. Dialed the Emperor's holonet number but hung up. Am too afraid to ask about ball guest list because would seem desperate.

9:57 p.m. Dialed and hung up.

9:58 p.m. Dialed and hung up.

11:57 p.m. Bolted out of bed with horrible thought -- what if the Emperor has *69 on his holonet service?! Decided to say that I wasn't home; it must have been the cat stepping on the speed dial again.

 

LOL, Aleja!

 

All this had me LOL!
And why do I picture Jaina's speeder in SVJA as a Toyota Echo?

 

Onnie,

Your forgot something, in true Robert Jordan style, all the women have to be cranky, mean, and contemptuous of all male life forms. Make me wonder just whichs pecies he was writing about.

Sort of like David Eddings.... (Just imagine Beru as Polgara and Luke is Garion).

Luke stared after his friends as they dashed back up the hill. Looking back he caught sight of his Aunt who was garling back at him.

"Don't even think about it!" Beru commanded, her voice harsh.

"But Aunt Beru," Luke heard himself say, "can't I go for a little while?"

"No!" snapped Beru then gestured towards the kitchen, "I want you in there right now to help me with supper or else you'll be sorry."

Luke's shoulder's dropped as he stomped past her, his expression sullen. Beru watched as he opened the door to the kitchen. "Luke?"

"Yes Aunt Beru?" he said meekly.

"Don't even think about slamming the door."

 

Rebecca: LOL! Highly cute! Just makes me appreciate the fact that these don't really exist.

 

Thank you, everyone!

 

{chuckles} Actually I have read all of his books, but had to condense it down due to time (had to run out the door). The Sisters who orginally swore to Rand were later shaking in their boots around him and it was the fastest way to go.

Orginally I wanted to do a whole build up scene to where Luke goes off because Liea smooths her skirt for the 250th time during their conversation {grins}

Seriously, I have never ever known a female (including myself) to ever adjust clothing so much as the women in Jordon's books do.

Hair yes, clothing? No.

--Onnie

 

Onnie,

I got about 150 pages into the first book of the Wheel of Time and had to put it down. Maybe my respect for women is too high, but I just found the way Jordon wrote ALL of his women to run contrary to what I know about the species.

That little Wisdom b**** in Rand's village, for example, she would beat on the mayor with her staff, just because she didn't like a comment he had made. And apprently Egewine(sp) becomes like that, and I thought, 'No, I can't read this'.

Maybe it's just the way Jordon, and to a much more lesser extent, Eddings, write ladies. Maybe it's what they invision a 'strong' woman to be. Now that I started reading the Belgariad, I just wanted someone to leap out and step on Polgara's throat. My idea of a strong female character is someone who can stand on her own, when needed, someone who is sure of herself, has a strong sense of self and believes in herself, and one who can help others. Not some confrontational busybody with a mean streak a mile wide, who demands that everyone bow to her will, i.e. a Chris Claremont Marvel female character.

What bothers me is that I would some day like to be an author, and I'm learning my craft by reading what others have written, and I don't want to pidgeon hole myself as someone who writes women people would rather see eaten by a monster than survive.

 

Time to return the compliment.
Excellent job, aleja! The diary was LOL! The Hemmingway was good, though I can't remember if I've ever read "Snows" or any other his works.

Also, good job to Rebecca191 for her Valley High works, and all the rest of the contributors.

 

Okay, this topic's got plenty of life left. Unfortunately, SW is just about the only non-obscure stuff I read, so for now I can only up it.

 

When I saw that Tom Clancy, George Lucas thing I was hoping he would have some type of connection to Star Wars. Maybe an NJO novel...Ha yah right. Or advisor for combat scenes.

 

To the top!

 

I'm bringing this back to the top to see if the creative people out there have some time for fun during the holiday break.

I wish I had a good post ready to go, but I'm a mother whose kids have too much free time this week, so I have no time at all for fun.

 

Glad you brought it back, Dewlanna! Unfortunately, like Opie, I don't read enough other books to really come up with anything right now...

 

With apologies to Ernest Hemingway:

I was lost in the midst of the thinking that is not thinking when I felt the disturbance in the Force. Or maybe it was just the remnants of the Bantha Stew from lunch. I was never sure and it was not always possible to know. At least it felt that way to me. Maybe the feeling I had that millions of souls were crying out in anguish meant only that Tampa Bay had lost another close one. Or Minnesota. I told myself that it was only by this knowing that I would find out that Dennis Miller was The Emperor in disguise.

It was time for another battle with the droid. The boy was doing well. I thought about the others who would discover that running around the galaxy playing nursemaid to a farm boy could be dangerous. But danger was in my blood, coursing through my veins. Rushing towards the deep pit in my stomach. The Bantha Stew, definitely.

 

I'm busy right now but I'll post my take on one of my favorite authors later.

 

I'd like to remind the creative wits out there that you don't have to limit yourselves to spoofing written works. Movies and TV shows are fair game as well. I'd like to see an episode of Danni the Vong Slayer or Jacen's Creek. Perhaps some one could have Barbara Walters interview Nam Anor.

 

I've started this thread again at JC community, here is the link

How would Famous Authors write your favorite SW Scene?

 

Hey I really liked this the first time I read it. I thought of something today so I am going to try to post on the new thread.

thanks.