Star Wars Episod IXC . VII : The Revolution Strikes Back

Its my first attempt at a piece of Fan Fiction and I will post it as I write it. Send all comments, questions, suggestions to my email address.

 

EXT. SPACE
A vast sea of stars serves as a backdrop for the Main Title, following by a rollup, which crawls into infinity....

There is unrest on the Airwaves of Bowling Green.
Several hundred radio personalities under
the leadership of the rebelious leader, New Guy,
have declared their intentions to
secede from the Revolution.

This separatist movement has made it
difficult for the limited number of
FCC regulators to maintain peace and
order on the airwaves.

Senator Martin, the former Queen of
Myozikd'reckter, is returning to SGA
to vote on the critical issue
of creating an referendum to assist the
overwhelmed DeJay....

 

PAN UP to reveal the amber city planet of Akademikompleks. A yellow Preston Fighter flies OVER CAMERA toward the planet, followed by a large Royal Cruiser and two more Fighters.

EXT. CITYSCAPE, Akademikompleks - DAWN
The ships skim across the surface of the city landscape. The sun glints off the chrome hulls of the sleek Prestonish spacecraft as they navigate between the buildings of the capital planet.

EXT. Akademikompleks, LANDING PLATFORM - DAWN
Two Preston Fighters land on one leaf of a three-leaf-clover landing platform. The Royal Starship lands on the central lead, and the third Fighter lands on the remaining plaform.

A small GROUP OF DIGNITARIES waits to welcome the Senator. One of the members of the group is a well dressed CHOP CHOPS BINKS, a member of the Galactic Representative Commission, and ROXY, Senator Martin's handmaiden.

PAN UP to reveal the amber city planet of Akademikompleks. A yellow Preston Fighter flies OVER CAMERA toward the planet, followed by a large Royal Cruiser and two more Fighters.

EXT. CITYSCAPE, Akademikompleks - DAWN
The ships skim across the surface of the city landscape. The sun glints off the chrome hulls of the sleek Prestonish spacecraft as they navigate between the buildings of the capital planet.

EXT. Akademikompleks, LANDING PLATFORM - DAWN
Two Preston Fighters land on one leaf of a three-leaf-clover landing platform. The Royal Starship lands on the central lead, and the third Fighter lands on the remaining plaform.

A small GROUP OF DIGNITARIES waits to welcome the Senator. One of the members of the group is a well dressed CHOP CHOPS BINKS, a member of the Galactic Representative Commission, and ROXY, Senator Martin's handmaiden.

 

One of the FIGHTER PILOTS jumps from the wing of his ship and removes his helmet. He is CAPTAIN SHORTY, SENATOR MARTIN'S Security Officer. He moves over to a PILOT.

CAPTAIN SHORTY
We made it. I guess I was wrong,
ain't noone after this homeboy.

The ramp lowers. TWO PRESTON GUARDS appear. SENATOR MARTIN, ONE HANDMAIDEN and FOUR TROOPERS descend the ramp. CRASH is more beautiful now than he was ten years earlier when, as Queen, he was freeing his people from the yoke of the New Rock Federation.

The DIGNITARIES start to move forward. SENATOR MARTIN reaches the foot of the ramp, when suddenly there is a huge EXPLOSION. The DIGNITARIES and PILOTS are hurled to the ground as the starship is destroyed.

 

Klaxons blare, alarms sound! EAS tests are completly forgotten! CAPTAIN SHORTY and the TWO ESCORT PILOTS get up and run to where SENATOR MARTIN lies dying. Beyond, DOCTOO ZEITOO drops down from the Preston Fighter and rolls toward the wreckage. The ESCORT PILOT kneels by SENATOR MARTIN and takes off his helmet, revealing SENATOR CRASH MARTIN.

CRASH
Stephen...

He gathers up his decoy double in his arms. Stephen's eyes are open. He looks up at him.

STEPHEN
... I'm sorry, dude... I'm... not sure I...want to....drink again...

STEPHEN dies. CRASH hugs him.

MARTIN
No!... No!... No!...Ooh, look, I found a quarter!

CRASH lowers STEPHEN to the ground. He gets up and looks at the quarter. There are tears in his eyes.

MARTIN
I should not have picked it up...or came back

CAPTAIN SHORTY
Dude, you still have your residual check...

Martin says nothing.

CAPTAIN SHORTY
This vote is very important. You did
your duty and Stephen did his. Now
come. (he doesn't respond) Dude, I'll
buy you some Waffle House!

He turns. They walk away. DOCTOO lets out a small whimper and rolls off after them.

EXT. SENATE BUILDING - DAY
The massive DUC Building glistens in the afternoon sun. Small patches of fog have still to burn off.

INT. DUC THEATRE - DAY
The vast rotunda is buzzing with chatter. MAGGY MAE, the Supreme Chancellor's majordomo, tries to quiet things down as GADDIE confers with an AIDE, JAZEE JO, riding a small one man floating scooter.

MAGGY MAE
Order! We shall have order! The motion
for the Republic to commission an army
takes precedent, and that is what we
will vote on at this time, damn it!
Everything quiets down. The AIDE disperses, and SUPREME CHANCELLOR GADDIE steps to the podium.

GADDIE
...My esteemed colleagues, excuse
me... I have just received some
tragic and disturbing news. Senator
Martin of the Preston system... Has
been blown to hell!

There is a shock silence in the vast arena. A few people applaud...the applause begins to grow.

GADDIE
(waits an hour for the clapping to die down then continues)
This grievous blow is especially
personal to me. Before I became
Chancellor, I served Martin when
he was Queen. He was a great
leader who fought for justice, not
only in this honourable assembly,
but also on his home planet. He
was so loved he could have been
elected queen for life. he
believed in public intoxication, and
he fervently believed in
incapacitation. His death is a great
loss to us all. We will all mourn
him as a relentless champion of
freedom... and as a wild drunk.

There is a moment of silence. NEO NEO, the SENATOR of MAMUTHKAYV, moves his pod into the centre of the arena.

SENATOR NEO NEO
How many more Senators will die
before this civil strife ends! We
must confront these rebels now,
and they need an army to do it.


GADDIE
Must I remind the Senator from
Mamuthkayv that negotiations are
continuing with the separatists.
Peace is our objective here... not
war.

The SENATORS yell pro and con. MAGGY MAE tries to calm things down. SENATOR CRASH MARTIN, with CAPTAIN SHORTY, CHOP CHOPS, and ROXY, manuver his pod into the center of the vast arena.

MARTIN
My noble colleagues, I concur with
the Supreme Chancellor. At all
costs, we do not want war! Eat, Drink,
and Drink!

The Senate goes quiet, then there is an outburst of dissapointed jeering and
applause. Much champaigne is uncorked!

GADDIE
It is with great surprise and
joy the chair recognizes the
Senator from Gables, Crash Martin.

CRASH
Less than an hour ago, an
assassination attempt was made
against my life. One of my
bodyguards and six others were
ruthlessly and graphically
murdered. I was at Target but,
more importantly, I believe this
security measure before you, was
the target. I have led the
opposition to get more money... but
there is someone in this body who
will stop at nothing to assure it's
passage...

Many of the SENATORS boo and yell at SENATOR MARTIN.

 

CRASH
(continuing)
I warn you, if you vote to pay the
radio personalities, chaos will follow. I
have experienced the misery of chaos
first-hand; I do not wish to do it
again...sober that is.

There is sporadic yelling for and against his execution.

CRASH
Wake up, Senators... you must wake
up! If you offer the radio personalities
money, they can only show us
violence in return! Many will
lose their lives. All will lose
their freedom. Some will even lose their lunch!
This decision could very well destroy the very
foundation of our great Revolution.
I pray you do not let fear push
you into a disastrous decision.
Vote down this security measure,
which is nothing less than a
declaration of war! Does anyone
here want that? I cannot believe
they do.

There is an undercurrent of booing...and groaning...and gas...which stirs up more groaning

GADDIE
Due to the lateness of the hour
and the seriousness of this
motion, we will take up these
matters tomorrow. Until then, the
Senate stands adjourned.

GADDIE'S CRIB - DAY
The giant towers of the Gaddie's Crib seem to reach the heavens. Traffic clogs the smoggy sky.

INT. GADDIE'S OFFICE - DAY
CHANCELLOR GADDIE sits behind his desk with TWO RED-CLAD ROYAL GUARDS on either side of the door. NUGI, and THE MACE WINDOW sit across from him.

GADDIE
I don't know how much longer I can
hold off the vote, my friends.
More and more radio personalities are
joining the separatists.

MACE WINDOW
If they do break away -

GADDIE
No! I will not let that happen!

MACE WINDOW
But if they do, you must realize
there aren't enough DeJay to
protect the Revolution. We are
keepers of the peace, not soldiers.

GADDIE
Master Nugi, do you think it will
really come to war?

NUGI closes his eyes.

NUGI
Worse than war, I fear... Much
worse.

GADDIE
What?

NUGI
I said "Worse than war, I fear... Much
worse." Deaf you must be, if hear me
you could not.

MACE WINDOW
What do you sense, Master?

NUGI
Impossible to see ... The Dork Side
clouds everything. But this I am
sure of -
(opens his eyes)
Do their duty the DeJay will.

A muted BUZZER SOUNDS. A hologram of an AIDE, IZ ZEE, appears on the Chancellor's desk.

IZ ZEE
The loyalist committee has arrived,
my Lord.

GADDIE
Thinks to him self, "I love it when the little people call me 'my Lord' its so sexy"
Ahem
Send them in.

They all stand as SENATOR MARTIN, CAPTAIN SHORTY, CHOP CHOPS, and ROXY enter the office. NUGI and MACE WINDOW move to greet the SENATOR, NUGI taps MARTIN with his cane.

NUGI
With you the force is strong...
young Senator. To see you alive
brings strange feelings to my liver.

Crash
Thank you, Master Nugi, I think. Do you
have any idea who was behind
the attack?

MACE WINDOW
Our intelligence points to
disgruntled spice miners, on
the moons of Gaybuhls.

CRASH
I don't wish to disagree but I
think that Shaggy was behind
it.

There is a stir of surprise, Crash seizes the moment to take a drink.

MACE WINDOW
You know Dude, Shaggy
was once a DeJay. He wouldn't
assassinate anyone, it is not in
his character. He's too damn lazy too.

NUGI
In dark times nothing is what it
appears to be, but the fact remains
Senator, in grave danger you are.

GADDIE gets up, walks to the window, and looks out at the construction below.

GADDIE
Shaggy has always avoided
any kind of conflict. It appears
he has no desire to start a war.
Why would he kill you? To what end?


CRASH
I don't know, but everything in my
flask tells me he was behind it...

After gazing out of the window for several moments Gaddie turns to The Mace.

GADDIE
Master Jedi, may I suggest that
the Senator be placed under the
protection of your graces.


CRASH
Chancellor, if I may comment, I
do not believe the...

GADDIE
..."situation is that serious."
No, but I do, Senator.

CRASH
Chancellor, please! I don't want
any more guards! Just give me a
Colt .45 and I should be good to go...
wait I mean SOME Colt .45

GADDIE (shakin

 

Granted there are some inconsistancies but this is a first draft and it will all be ironed out soon.

 

Holy crap, that's hysterical. I actually laughed out loud at most of Crash's... interludes with his vice. Funny stuff, dude. You missed a "Jedi" when they're in Gaddie's chamber. Otherwise, looking good. You should hang it up in the office.

 

Dude, I'll buy you some Waffle House!



you guys crack me up.

~H~

 

Wow could I be any more honored? My name in someone else's signature. That's better than a Flippie Award. I fixed the "Jedi" on my master copy, thanks OHD. Expect more to come!

 

Here is the latest version, post all comments here though.

 

Hey,
Pee Wee (dbrumett) needs a part in this production my fellow jedi master.

 

I've added more to it today, and don't worry my stalwart little companion, everyone (who has a memorizable DJ name) shall be on it. I am going to bust my butt at trying to get it done before the meeting. But before that, I'll see most of you guess tomorrow night at 440 Main!

 

440 Main was awesome guys! Major props to Darth_Shaggy and myself for winning the flippie for best On-(and off-)Air Duo. The food was awesome and the comraderie of the station party was unserpassed. Lets just remember the lessons we learned from Danimal, Short Stuff, and Tank. C-you guys tommorow!

 

Awesome

 

That story kicked but dude, yeah, i am too lazy to be behind an assasionation attemt.
It's going to be hard to top the station party, that one was awesome and dinner before that was great! I should post more often...hm... keep up the story, I want to know how it turns out.

 

IT IS FINISHED!!!

 

EXCELLENT!! WHERE IS IT!?!?!



~H~

 

IT IS FINISHED!!!