FF:QLD JP's Failure thread

Why is that?

 

To burn out attracts attention, to fade away means that noone notices.

 

Unless they are staring at you at the time.

 

which is not a good thing when your naked

 

Don't tell us your fantasies.

 

Ok, this has gone far enough.

 

Star Wars chick. AOTC, lightsabres, rubber duckys , spa jets, Princess Leia bikini's

Ring a bell? ?

 

It all sounds good but I can't figure out what you need the rubber ducky for......

 

You don't want to know.

 

I need the rubber ducky to lead my flotilla of pocket Battleships

 

Ok, so I'm in my tutorial today, and my lecturer keeps persistantly calling me Jedi, then quips up that heavy web users are more likely to be depressives and thus create *Jedi* like characters to compensate for lack of a good life...then he said but that can't be you Paul, your too happy. Oh the cutting edge sarcasm of Technological lecturers

 

Not too mention their obvious insight.

 

My Most Adventurous Trip
I recently went on a trip over seas and so I would like to share the moment with everybody. Assuming you want to hear about it then proceed. If not, then what the hell are you doing reading this? Don't you have better things to do?...

Anyway, I left my home one Saturday morning to the airport here in Brisbane, to catch a plane that would fly for about twenty nine hours all the way to Frankfurt. With three stops on the way, I was feeling a little anxious to say the least. Ever spent twenty nine hours on a plane? It's something else I can tell you. I have never been so bored in my life and the plane hadn't even taken off yet.

Well once it did, I was still bored so I whiled away the hours counting the meals and the pre flight praying that occured before every take off at each stop. Oh yes, I had to fly on a Muslem air line didn't I, they were cheap tickets however.

Anyway, during the flight I discovered something truly amazing. You see I had taken a bottle of water with me and after the plane had taken off and ascended to the heavens I decided that I would very much like to wet my whistle. And so I took out my bottle of water and opened it. Of course I was very surpised to find that gas hissed out of the water bottle as I did so. "What's this?" I thought, "They making carbonated water now?"

Well, thinking nothing of it further more, I took a swig and then put the empty bottle back in my bag and into the over head compartment. Six hours later, we landed at stop one, and had to get off the plane as I had to catch a alternate flight to continue on my journey.

Thinking that I might need another drink during the next leg I decided to fill my trusty water bottle up with more life preserving water. So getting out the water bottle I was amazed to find that it had been crushed as if all the air inside the bottle had been sucked out. I was perplexed, what could have caused such a thing. I was starting to suspect that the plane had a gremlin onboard.

Well this continued for the rest of the flight to Frankfurt, gas would seep out as I opened the bottle during flight, and when I landed the bottle would be crushed. I had searched the plane extensivly for the gremlin that was doing it all, but to no avail. The little bugger just kept on alluding me, I was getting very frustrated with the little devil.

And then it dawned on me, it was the cabin pressure that was doing it. It all came together in a rush, I had finally solved the mystery and felt so much better for it. Now how the little gremlin thought of changing the cabin pressure I will never know. However at least now I can rest easy knowing that he can never bother me with it now. Now if I can only figure out why he keeps turning my fridge light on when I open the door...
And so ends part one, stay tuned for the further episodes of.... My Most Adventrous Trip.

Three dollars as to who can tell me who wrote this sorry story

 

That lecturer you carry a torch for!

 

Wrong, it was our very own CR, Grieyls

Oh and I fail to have any sort of pleasure in my life . In short I'm a failure

 

What you need to do is read some of those motivational books

Or go to an Amway meeting

 

Motivational books suck; I covered that in human resouce management . What I need is a good woman

 

JP... why don't you fawk out the cash and just pay for some female companionship? I mean if you think that would the be all and end all to your problems.

I'm just afraid that you're working yourself up about the whole woman thing, that if and when you do get a girl; there's no possible way she could ever compare to your expectations.

Don't get me wrong, females are excellent... especially ones that give good 'Umaks' ... but the rule of acquisitions clearly dictate, that there's more to life.

 

I'd be willing to chip in a few bucks to get JP laid... if it will stop him whinging about it.

 

What's an 'umak'?

 

Say it backwards, then you'll know. Ohhh yes.

 

Sit down, take a deep breath...I have a date, amazing but true , yes there are girls silly enough to agree to endure a date with me . Can this be true; but one problem, how can I espouse the tenets of Sad Lonley Bastardism if I have a other half? Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, your my only hope.

 

Wait... I thought you WANTED another half. Try setting yourelf up for success, not failure.

Go out there and charm the pants off this little lady. Literally if you are up to it.

Be confident, and don't put yourself down.

Listen to her and ask questions about what she says. You're inetested in her too right?

Try not to sweat too much.

Don't talk about Star Wars for more than three minutes... all night. (Hard to believe, but many women don't find obsessive devotion to a 70s science fiction franchise especially endearing.)

Remember, she's just another human being. And she has agreed to go out with you, so there must be something that she likes.

Be conscientious and considerate (be thinking about her), don't try to grab her goods (not yet).

And finally, if you crash and burn I DON'T want to hear about it. I only want to hear about your success. Don't come back and whinge. Understand? Only post good things. If you don't have anything good to post, don't post it (not that I can stop you, but it will just go to show that you don't value my advice, in which case I will cease to give it). If you are unsuccessful, get out there again until you do have something positive to post.

I'm assuming you want real support here, JP. You're not just looking for a group of pathetic, socially inept losers with whom to commiserate, right? Because I hang out here, and certainly wouldn't want to be classified as a member of such a group. I can only assume that no one else does either.

You're the Man.
Now, go get 'er Tiger!

Hmmm... maybe I should have PMed you this.

 

Listen to Otter you shall, for speak the truth he does.

 

Otter, you make it sound like a job interview


(And JP, we want all the gory details this time, no vague references if you know what I mean)