One Too Many (Drunk Obi+Qui, humor by myself and Aayla, updated 1/22/02, I swear!)

Obi-Wan jammed his hands inside his sleeves. He looked around, then realized that he wasn't in his quarters with Qui-Gon, he was in a dark alley. what was going on?

Jacinta walked up behind him.

"Hi Obi!" She cried.

Obi-Wan jumped three feet in the air. "Jacinta! No, no, leave me alone!" Jacinta was a fan fiction writer that loved to torment him. She, along with a few others, was worse than Xanatos!

Jacinta frowned. "Why? We won't hurt you....much....Hehe....We just want to get you drunk and have fun with you, that isn't too much too ask is it?"

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "We?"

"Yep me and Aayla." Jacinta said smiling.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aayla was one of those 'few others.'

 

HEY! You can't give us a title like that and follow it with a (no message)!

--- after they've written something ---

*evil laughter* Ohhhh, goody!

 

don't worry... it's coming... it's coming

 

Sorry, sorry, accidentally pressed enter, it's fixed now. Well, Aayla, introduce yourself, don't be rude!

 

Aayla walks up behind Obi-wan and hugs him.
" Hi obi! I missed you! did you have fun with yoda's thong?!" thinks about what she just said." eww that sounded wrong."

Obi-wan manages to squirm away. " w-w-what d-do you mean d-drunk?"

" You, obi-wan, are going to get drunk... is it really that hard to figure out?"

Obi-Wan stares in horror then trys to run away but there is an invisible wall in his way.

" boy, you weren't kidding when you said those things came in handy..." Aayla says grinning then picks up a knocked out Obi-wan and flings him over her shoulder. " Now we head for the bar..." Grins evily then starts heading for a near-by bar.

 

Sorry, Aayla, I'm back now, and ready to get Obi-Wan drunk.
******
Jacinta grinned at Aayla. "Ok, well here we are. Now we have to get him awake and drinking. How do we manage that?"

Jacinta looked around. She saw the bar and walked over. "Hi, I would like the strongest drink you have, three of them."

The bartender, a huge female human, looked Jacinta up and down. "Aren't you a bit young? Go find a playmate. I haven't got time for you."

Jacinta glared at the bartender. "They aren't for me, they're for him. I need to get him drunk."

The bartender grinned. "Got you. I'll admit he's quite a catch, but don't you think you're a bit young?"

Jacinta raised her eyebrows. "Matter of opinion, that. Just give me the drinks."

The bartender obliged, and took the credit Jacinta handed her.

Jacinta grabbed a small tray and used it to carry the drinks over to the table Aayla had dragged Obi-Wan to. She set the drinks down.

"Now to get him awake." Jacinta smiled, and pulled out a notepad and a pen.

"Obi-Wan was in a dark room. He couldn't see, but he could hear the things coming in on him. He felt something brush his leg, and then pain coursed through his veins." Jacinta said as she wrote.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Obi screamed as he sat up. Jacinta set the pen down, grabbed a drink, and threw it down Obi-Wan's throat. Obi-Wan choked, but was forced to swallow.

"No......Why can't you leave me alone? Why does the force hate me?" Obi-Wan said.

"No Luke whining." Jacinta said, wagging a finger.

"What?"

"Never mind. Just shut up or I'll make *Nsync come and sing." Jacinta said.

"YOU WOULDN'T!" Obi-Wan cried. Jacinta had done that before, using earplugs for herself. He'd almost gone insane.

"Oh wouldn't I?" Jacinta said, lifting her hand. If she snapped her fingers.....

"Drink another one, Obi, or else." Aayla said.

Obi-Wan swallowed and stared at the drink....
******
Aayla, your turn!

 

" Ok obi I'm sorry but it's for the people... you're funny when your drunk."

" And you would know?" asks obi-wan as he looks at aayla.

" yes, I would because I wrote a fan fic with you drunk in school," replies aayla happly. " Now you're coming with me..." grabs Obi-Wan by the ankle and puts him on a stool at the bar. Writes something down and Obi-Wan starts guzzling down beer. Aayla grins and turns to Jacinta as obi-wan continues to drink. " Now for the girls..."

"I feel weird...." Obi-wan says then gulps down another shot.

" You're drunk... well close to it..." Aayla grins.

" Oh no...." Obi-Wan contiues to drink till he passes out for awhile by that time aayla and Jacinta have left to write more. Obi-Wan slowly looks up at the bar tender. " Hi, shweetnesss..." Obi-Wan says sluring his words.

The bar tender just looks at him funny then three twi'leks walk up to obi-wan. " Then there handsome" Says one twi'lek female.

" Hi perdy ladiesssss..." obi-Wan says as he turns to face them. " You *hick-up* want ssomtin to driink?" Asks Obi-Wan as he slowly get's up, but only to fall on his face. " Damn floor... alwaysss tryin to move whilsst I'm walkin...." Obi-Wan trys to stand up but falls into one of the girls.
" Your face issn't da oonly ting nice to loook at..." Obi-Wan says as he has his facein the womans chest.

One of the Twi'lek turns to the others.
"Maybe we should take him home with us..."

"oooooooo... take me hoome... take me hoome" Obi-Wan says looking up at the Twi'lek.

" Ya let's take him with us... he should be fun..." Replies another Twi'lek female. "But I never said we were going home...." The twi'lek grins.

" yaaaay feeild trip..." Obi-wan says as he stands up right. The Twi'lek females start leading obi-wan out but obi-wan smacks into a wall." OW! dammit!... who put dat wall der?" Obi-Wan asks as he rubs his face.

The bar tender rolls her eyes..." Poor kid isn't gonna live long enough with them three to see his 18th birthday..."

=============================================

oky day your turn Jacinta

 

hahahahah!

Poor Obi. Why do we do this stuff to him. Oh yeah. It's fun and he's so cute.

More! More I say.

~Swede

 

* Hugs Obi *

Don't worry I still love ya! but this is way too much fun

 

Ummm Aayla, I don't know what to do with this. Oh well, here goes....
*****
One of the twileks smiled at Obi-Wan. "Hey, you know, he's a cute one, maybe we could make some money off of him...."

"Monezzz gooood." Mutters Obi-Wan with a hiccup.

"How so?" Asks another twilek.

"Well, we get him just sober enough to stand straight, no more, and then teach him to dance. I bet the girls would be eager to watch him dance....once we get him out of this gross outfit."

One of the twilek smiles. "Oh I don't know, I had something else in mind for him.....like this!" She runs at Obi. Obi falls to the ground with a hiccuping laugh with the twilek on top of him.

The twilek plants a wet kiss on his lips, and bites Obi-Wan's lip.

"Owwwww....my lip....heehee, it feels funny, it's numb! My lips numb! And my fingers....I'M ALL NUMB!" Laughs Obi.

Jacinta runs out of a door. "Hey, hey, don't get too friendly!!! I like the dancing idea!" She yells at the twilek.

Aayla reachs out of the door and yanks the jealuos and raving Jacinta back inside to write some more.

"I'M ALL NUMB!" Obi-Wan cries again, still laughing and obliviosu to what just happened.

A twilek grins. "He's wasted."

"They're the most fun that way." Replies another.

"I agree. Well, let's get him out of those clothes."

 

Obi-Wan is still laying on the ground with a dumb look on his face singing a stupid little song:

"I see london I see france... I see someones underpants... they might be blue, they might be pink... I don't know but they sure do stink!"

" He he sings too...." says a twi'lek grinning. " do you know any other songs?" She asks looking down at obi-wan.

" Yeep... ssssure doooooo...

" Diareha cha cha cha!
Diareha Cha cha cha! Squeshy in your pants when you walk cha cha cha! even worse when you sit down cha cha cha!"

" that was... interesting..." says one twi'lek and obi-wan goes on babbling.

"there's a place in france where the nakked people dance... and a hole in da wall so da men can see it all"

Obi-wan continues on singing while the twi'leks stratagize..." Let's get some caffine and see if that will work..." Suggests one.

"sounds good to me then it's time to learn some dancing, but first what to make him wear....." one twi'lek trails off...

Obi-Wan still lays on the ground babbling off like an idiot.

"beans beans the musical fruit! the more you eat the more you toot! the more you toot the better you feel! so eat beans for every meal!"

 

HAHAHA!

Oh poor Obi. He is going to have such a hangover when this is over. Hey, is Qui-Gon going to show up? He can chase after Obi. hehe

~Swede

 

No this is a no Qui story, at least till the end.
*****
Obi-Wan was babbling incoherently.

"Lalalalalala....doodedooodedoo....hummmmhummm......what other sssongsss do I knowssss? Umm.......heehee, Misssss Ssssuzy had a sssteambot the ssssteabot had fell....heehee, I mean dell, or kell, no BELL heehee......"

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!" One twilek cried.

"Um...okadok.....There was a Jedi from Venus...."

"Ughhhh..."
******
Five minutes later, Obi-Wan was standing gripping a cup of caffe, but no one could tell if ti was working. And the twileks didn't care, they were argueing about what he should wear.

"Silk!"

"No, bad if he sweats, cotton absorbs."

"Cotton's bland!"

"So?"

"I'VE GOT IT!!!! LEATHER!!!!"

All the twileks grinned at Obi as they nodded simultaneously and they licked there lips.

"Wat...." Obi mumbled, confused.

"GRAB HIM, AND GET HIM OUT OF THOSE!" Cried a Twilek.

Seconds later, Obi-Wan was surrounded. "Ahh, no that tickles!" He cried.

 

"AAAAHHHH!!!!" Obi-Wan yells as the Twi'lek strip him of his clothes. About five minutes later obi-Wan is standing in leather and feeling very strange right about now.

" That's better...."

"This is unconfortable" Obi-wan complains shifting slightly in the outfit.

Aayla comes running out and takes a picture of Obi-Wan..." Uh.... blackmail and it could be usefull later" Aayla runs back into hidding.

" Leather doesn't breath..." Obi-Wan complains again.

"Ah shut up..." says one twi'lek then pats obi-wan on the head. The Twi'leks get obi-wan drunk but he can still stand up right.

" There once was a man from nantucket!--" Obi-wan began but was cut off.

" THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!" One twi'lek yells then slaps a hand over obi-wan's mouth.

Obi-wan Licks her hand. " you taste goooood"

"EW!" The twi'lek screatches.

" Well I think it's time we get him dancing.."

" I agree.."

Obi-wan just looks at them like a drunk would look at someone they want desprately. then Next thing Obi-wan knows is he's in some strange room and sees people dancing.

 

This is funny! Up!

 

One twilek grins at Obi-Wan.

"You are going to dance. And all the girls will throw creits at you and we will make lots of money, then we will take you home."

Obi-Wan grins at that.

"Well, girls, solo or what? We want to teach him to dance....like....well...like him!" The twilek points at a blond haired man who has his hair cut to just below his eyebrow and is dancing. Three females are cheering him on.

"How much do you think he would charge to teach......wait, do we even know his name?" The twileks shake their heads. "What's your name?"

"Obi, Baby." Obi-Wan says.

"Ok, Obi-Baby." Jacinta's laugh can be heard outside a door.

"Hey you!" The twilek calls to the man, who turns to look at them.

 

UP!

 

The Man Looks over at the four " Excuse me ladies..." the man walks over to Obi-Wan and them. " What can I do for you?" the man asks

" We need you to teach Obi-Baby how to dance..." says one twi'lek pointing at obi-wan.

"OK.... I'll charge you 50 an hour..." the man says as he looks over at Obi-Wan.

"Deal!" says one twi'lek while the other two go and grab Obi-Wan.

" Say girls... where we going?" asks obi-Wan.

" You're going to learn to dance..." Replies a twi-lek.

"Ooo goody! Sounds like fun!" Obi-wan says just as they reach the man.

 

The man looked Obi-Wan up and down. "Well, you're outfit's ok, look's like I can spare you that lecture. Let's get started."

The man helped Obi-Wan up on the stage. Obi-Wan kept tripping and falling on his face, and the worst part was, he thought it was hysterical. He went into laughing fits everytime.

"Ok, let's see." The man said. Bit by bit, he taught Obi-Wan how to dance, and Obi-Wan learned quickly, even though he was drunk.
*****
3 hours later
*****
"Here, he's as ready as he'll ever be. I should have charged more, trying to teach a drunk is like trying to get a hawkbat to obey you." The man snorted and stalked off.

"He's ma-ad." Obi-Wan laughed.

"Ignore him. Come on Obi-Baby, let's get you started. Where to girls?" A twilked said.

 

" Let's take him to the bar the teach worked at..." Suggests one.

" YA! I wanna dance for da ladies..." Obi-wan manages to slur out.

"ok..." say the twi'lek as the grab the drunk obi-wan and lead him to the strip bar.

=============================================
sorry I can't think of anything :S

 

(has a fit of giggles) Hey - I wanna see that picture (pouts)
u can't leave it like that - so post!

 

Since I'm probably the only male reading this,I should just skip the next post.

 

I'M NOT LAUGHING.PEACE Ewen

 

Well, considering I have to pst next, and I don't do that kind of stuff, don't worry.

Ewen. Why?

Ok here goes.
***
"Go up there and dance." Says a twilek. Obi-Wan goes up the steps to the stage.

"Um...." Obi says, but soon realizes it's dance or be killed by an outraged mob.

He starts dancing, and as he goes on, he attracts more screaming girls, a few of which try to climb up with him, but the twileks are watchful. They don't want him mauled.

A few girls are screaming something, and Obi-Wan unzips his leather jacket to reveal a white t-shirt, and throws it into the audience. The girls go crazy.

Then, Obi-Wan mutters something about the pants being uncomfortable, and reaches for the zipper.

Jacinta comes screaming out of a door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" She yells, jumps on stage, and tackles him on the ground.

She gives him a jealous look. "I'm not sharing, got it?" She say slowly. Obi-Wan hiccups and nods, the room spinning. The twileks run over.

 

Jacinta, Aayla, you two are NUTS



x Clare x