JCC Terrible song lyrics thread.

So recently I've begun listening to a more pop-oriented radio station. It's more of a variety station, your typical "Best of the 80s, 90s, and today!" type of thing, but they play a lot of new stuff.

I've been, in some cases, pleasantly surprised by the quality of some of this modern music. "fun." is a very likable band, and that song by Gotye is pretty good as well.

BUT

I am simultaneously shocked by how pants-****ingly terrible some of the music on the radio can be. There is simply no way some of these songs aren't written to be purposely terrible as a gimmick. That's where I got the idea for this thread.

So let's get down to the nitty gritty, share some terrible lyrics you've heard. It can be new or old, doesn't matter.

The worst I've heard is probably:

Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All
"Mr. Know it all, well you think you know it all, but you don't know a thing at all baby, ain't it something y'all?"

A close runner up:

Pink - Blow Me One Last Kiss
"Just when it can't get worse, I've had a **** day. You've had a **** day. We've had a **** day."

 

Ha. What would you say if I told you that and "call me maybe" are guilty pleasures of mine?

Seriously though, check out fun. Their singer reminds me of Freddie mercury when he sings with a little bit of an edge.

 

"Yellow diamonds in the light."

 

Yeah that one's pretty bad. How about this one:

"Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, like I'm the only one that you'll ever love, like I'm the only one that knows your heart."

I want to throw Rihanna off of a cliff.

 

On the other hand, Umbrella.

 

I prefer Some Nights. To be fair though, I see your point. It is a little self indulgent. I still like it though


Also, all of Born This Way by Lady Gaga. I'm troubled by the whole premise, considering there are plenty of terrible not ok things people are born with. And plenty of things they choose that are ok. Sort of misses the point, I think.

 

Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball

 

"I've seen a million faces, and I rocked them all."

 

You're so much cooler when you never pull it out
'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

 

Can we name Jon BonJovi as the male patron saint of this thread? With "The More Things Change" he has clearly used up every cliché the English language has to offer.

 

"That's the biggest black ass I've ever seen, and I like it. And I like it."

Yes that's a real song. It's not hip hop or anything of the sort.

I'm on board with Jon Bon Jovi being the thread's patron saint. He won that title long ago with "I'll be there for you, these 5 words I swear to you. When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you, I'll be there for you."

 

"I wish that I could fly into the sky so very high just like a dragonfly"

 

Anything by freaking Madonna. I wish she would go away.

 

Life is demaaaaaaaanding
Without understaaaaaanding

 

ACE OF BASE WAS AMAZING TAKE IT BACK NOW OR FACE MY WRATH.

 

Here, your meds.

 

I am offended by your implication, good sir.

Also thank you.

 

For me the most god-awful Rihanna remains "Unfaithful" -- 3+ minutes of her whining that she's screwing around on her boyfriend, as if we're supposed to feel bad for her. By the end of the song, who isn't left praying that the boyfriend will be the murderer.

 

Wow. That's... Shocking even for her. Know who else is bad? Katy perry.

And the next time I hear "I've got the moves like Jagger," I might resort to physical violence.

 

With Perry it's not so much the lyrics as the fact that feels a need to scream the lyrics to every song "BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

Yeah baby I was in the dark. I was falling hard. With an open heart.


Katy, what in the assclenching hell are you even talking about?

 

It might be me, but I like any song that talks about Chris Brown blowing his head off.

 

My wife listens to the dominant teeny bopper garbage station and I just don't get it. The lyrics are just terrible.
I'm actually glad that I now have to drive my daughter to and from school because it removes that crap from her rotation.

I'm sure she'll like it anyway but there's no need to accelerate the trend.