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Topic:
The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
10/30/03 4:37pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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Raw pumpkin is now used as a spa treatment product.
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/3/03 4:20pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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What makes a man sexy?
Brought to you by Match.com!
What makes a man sexy? Ask any dozen women and you're likely to wind up with two or three dozen answers.
Piercing eyes are always a good choice; a great smile gets a popular vote. Some get chills from a rock-hard body that makes it unnecessary for the guy to tell you he works out daily.
Apart from the physical, most women will tell you that a great sense of humor is a must for any man who wants to be regarded as sexy. Smarts are sexy, too —intelligence and an ability to communicate make for a winning combination. But what if that good brain is topped by flesh, bone, and ... nothing else?
What if he's bald?
Well, then we might be on to something really sexy.
The editors of popular print magazines continue to display 10-year-old photos of celebrities who had hair then but today do not. The headlines proclaim the men have gone "from dud to stud." And there's no shortage of women who count Bruce Willis, Patrick Stewart or Michael Jordan as hot. Shaving his head didn't exactly diminish Denzel Washington's seething sexiness, did it?
Most of the time a naked scalp reduces a man's sex appeal not in itself, but in the ways in which the guy tries to cover it up. There's nothing sexy about hair plugs. Toupees rarely enhance a man's appearance; the bald-on-top, ponytail-to-the-shoulders look is one very few men can pull off; and comb-overs are disasters just waiting to happen.
In the end, true attraction comes back to a guy's sense of humor, his ability to communicate, his brain, his personality. That's what's going to get and keep our interest—not the number of active hair follicles on his head.
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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Princess_Skywalker_
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
11/3/03 4:36pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
- Date Edited:
11/3/03 4:37pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Princess_Skywalker_
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I would agree with that Jada, but they always forget kindness. A sense of humor is always what I say first, but a guy with a good heart is the sexiest thing of all.
EDIT:
And Patrick Stewart....SO da sexy! meow! 
-----signature-----
Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/6/03 11:53am
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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Star Wars Trivia Quiz
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/8/03 8:05pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say "See this chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
11. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
12. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
13. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
15. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:48pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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I
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:49pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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need
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:50pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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(7) seven
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:51pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
- Date Edited:
11/10/03 7:57pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
jada_marnew
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posts
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:52pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
- Date Edited:
11/10/03 7:57pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
jada_marnew
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to
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:56pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
- Date Edited:
11/10/03 7:57pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
jada_marnew
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reach
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/10/03 7:58pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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4,000 posts!!!!!!!!!!!!
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/11/03 5:13pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
|
Top tactics to get him to take a hike
Brought to you by Match.com!
Dating involves trial and error. Often after a promising beginning we find that the person we shared a pleasant evening or intriguing email conversation with just isn't the one. Eeeeep. Wrong answer. Try again. Time to move on. So you tell him that. And he calls back. And emails. And calls again, just to see how your day was. He's definitely failed the take-a-hint test. Now what?
Let's all hope you never have to use these. If you haven't given "I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you again" a try, you probably owe him that. Take the following tactics only after the honesty approach has failed.
The broken record.
Good if you're not comfortable with creative stories. He may be latching on to some modifier in your "I don't want to see you" statement and interpreting it to mean continued interest. Examples being "not right now", "not ready", "I feel bad about hurting your feelings". Write out a clear, concise statement, and put it on a post-it note by the phone. Repeat it in response to his calls. Avoid other conversation. Respond to all his emails with it, without adding other comments. Can't avoid seeing him in person? You may have to have it printed on business cards.
Mom is in town.
Tell him your mother has come to live with you while her home undergoes painstaking dissection and remodeling to rid it of toxic black mold spores. She's afraid she may never be able to go back. Come to think of it, you can't figure out what this stuff on your coat is, either.
Tell him you're joining a celibate religious order.
Even considering a vow of silence. If you are concerned that he might research it, make one up. You must do this with a straight face. He may express disbelief and/or imply that you are lying. Insist. Then try this one: "Good bye. May the twelve blessings of the central order penetrate you in the end time."
Have strange "dreams" that involve him.
Respond to his emails with involved descriptions of the one where he's waddling along in a vast herd of penguins chasing you down the street or the one where the Washington monument collapses on his car while you're kissing Antonio Banderas. Don't make any additional comments. Screen your calls.
Tell him you've encountered long lost relatives or lovers.
If that doesn't work, add more as needed. How about, "The children I put up for adoption have come to find me. I'm going to be so busy building a relationship with all of them" or "I just ran into that wealthy adventurer who left me his grandmother's engagement ring when we parted after a torrid affair four years ago, we are thinking about going out for drinks".
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/12/03 7:21pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
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Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big
bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf," says LRRH.
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and
this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf," says LRRH.
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams,
"Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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jada_marnew
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
11/17/03 3:23pm
Subject:
RE: The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!
|
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my Account and I wrote him a check."
-----signature-----
Wait by the river long enough to watch the bodies of your enemies float by
AHBY!
The disease of dramaqueenitis is very closely related to the ItakeNoResponsibilityAndIt'sYourFault-tosis
You're so vain, I bet you think the sock is about you
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