JCC apparently i give off mad mormon vibes

and it is becoming a problem. "Young Single Adults" are always jockin' me lately and ive had at least three acquaintances (two of them lds) and one friend (non-lds) ask me if im mormon.

buddy: "hey are you mormon?"
me: "DUDE! we were at a wine party like last week! i drank like half of the bottle you brought!"
(in his defense he's not originally from this lds-rich zone of the country and he was apparently unaware of the prohibition against drinking)

the situation has now become intolerable. last night i spent the late hours chillaxing with a hot young lass who had been givin' me the eye the last couple weeks in tango class, only to have her mission trip come up halfway through the night. for how into me she allowed herself to be, i can only assume that she too at one point thought she recognized mormon game

how can i "ward" (hehe that's a little joke) off mormon accusations without resorting to, like, extreme alcoholism and like always carrying a flask around and swigging from it conspicuously every 10 minutes?

 

Tell them you already have enough wives.

 

Go Goth!

 

Stop wearing the magic underwear.

 

Take that Romney sticker off your car.

 

You've probably just got the Mormon glow(http://m.psychologytoday.com/articles/201210/whats-in-face).

Try taking up smoking all the time to get rid of it.

 

I've always respected you for being so progressive for a Mormon.

 

mormons need to start wearing, like, identifiers or something. like a little bugler dude necklace or something. cuz apparently their mormondar is WACK

by the way empireforever i like how that psychology today article uses the phrase "fail."

 

actually that is the proximate cause for these situations i find myself in. "Young Single Adults" love them some partners dancing, so i have recently been coming into contact with mormons at about 300% the rate of my pre-dancing social life. but none of my non-mormon dance friends seem to have this problem. somehow im giving a false-positive on mormondar, both to lds and non-lds

 

Mormons only have a glow because they are usually successful and attractive.

 

Rogue, I think Bob is coming on to you.

 

No, I am coming on to Mormons.

 

eehhhhh. i havent noticed them being particularly more of either than other people around here. if anything, mormon men are usually pretty sad and dopey looking in my experience, actually

 

You hang with the wrong Mormons, son.

 

could be all the good looking dudes got married at like 18 and now cant spend any leisure time doing anything other than taking their 8 trillion kids to the park, so the guys that are still single and "tearin' it up" (such as it is) are the real sadsacks.

if you're not married by 31 they actually put you in a special ward-group with the other rejects because you're so ******* hopeless lol

 

You had a hot lass talking about her own Mormonism? Am I reading that right? You know, you could milk this for all it's worth.

 

idgi but i have a feeling im about to get montied

 

The "Mormon glow" (applies to other hardcore religious people as well) just means creepy.

 

post better

 

Having been to Mormon services, I think the Latter Day Saints are more cynical than most people believe. Not saying they don't believe their religion, just saying that they understand very clearly the practical benefits of their social organization. But they also are genuinely nice people, on the whole.

 

Post better what?

 

I'm just saying, learn a bit more about Mormonism, let her think you can be recruited, and...how did you say that before..."bone down"? Then break away clean.