Saga Diary of a Moisture Farmer; OCs, DDC 2014

Shouldn't they go to a really big 'imp'infested place?

 

Let's see how long he will make 'present' last Azure.

Sorm? What storm, Findwoman?

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Konkers says he doesn't have top stop. He treats it like a hobby. Everybody needs a hobby, he says.

So that is it. He needs something to do. Too bad there isn't much in the way of activities on this frelling space wedge, even if it's the number one space wedge of them all. Guess that means it's up to me.

Oh well. He's a good mate and made sure I could make alcohol when I needed it. That's got to be worth something.

 

Find something nice for Konkers

 

Any number of hobbies to be found. All they need is a little vision... okay, and a total lack of caution. But they seem to be pretty close, there.

 

Will do, earlybird.

I think the total lack of cautin is more likely than the vision, Kahara.

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Well, there is a limited amount of things you are encouraged to do. But somehow working out doesn't work out at all. It's all those very fit guys, I'm sure. Quite a sight, indeed, but make you feel scrawny. Not to mention unfit.

I thought I had things down alright what with being a farmer and all the physical work involved. But seems that moisture farming is not what it used to be. Konkers is at least naturally tall and strongly built. But even he looks like a Hutt among tanks. So. No working out for us. I don't think either is very sorry.

 

Ball games is a dead end as well. Firstly, we're not team players. Not that the other guys want us around. Anything you play with to ends up some kind of fight where we hit each other over the head with the bats.

"Mud wrestling!" Konkers shouts with a happy grin, whacking me over the head with the net of his lightball bat.

"In you dreams!" I whack him right back.

He stops short and shakes his head. "Nightmares possibly. The mud must be hell got get off again."

I am not gracing that with an answer. He might just want to try it. "Mousebot surfing would have been good," I say instead.

"Stupid little critters," he agrees.

Their programming won't allow them to carry loads. We tried to circumvent it. Without success obviously.

 

I have just begun reading through the fan fiction section, and I did not want to comment on anything until I caught up fully on these diaries, and the other threads as well, but as I am 15 pages behind, and over 100 other threads... I realize, that could perhaps take time... so, as my first comment before I get back to that I just wanted to say fantastic work MsLanna as from what I have read thus far it seems obvious that you are a gifted writer, and perhaps even more impressive is the fact that you manage quality within succinct verses of brilliance, which is a very difficult task I would surmise. Cannot wait to catch up on this, and other great stories, and look forward to many more logs in this diary to come.

 

Well, Jetedonne, good luck with catching up on all of the stories. Not sure that is even possible, but do your worst! And after a while the old stuff is all truncated so there's that.
Thank you for the kind words. Personally, I think being short is easier. It has taken me quite a while to be able to write verbose.

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There's chess. There's some astrogation club. Mapping the stars where there is nothing was also an accepted activity. There was no lack of data for that either. We tried, we really did.

"Y334.76, X0976.67, Z875.23," Konkers says.

I zoom in on the three-dimensional map of some piece of space. "Nope."

"Should be a drinking game," he says. "Could use one by now."

I can only agree. There is indeed a lot of space in the Unknown Regions and not many stars, let alone planets. I wonder who made the scans and why the frag they didn't stay around to do the job properly. Lazy idiots.

 

looking for nothing, that's boring

 

Oh dear. Out in space, no one can watch the grass grow. They'll have to create some havoc.

Konkers and the narrator are the most hilarious of space wedge friends. I admire how well you capture those two troublemakers.

 

I wonder if those two are slightly based on the pair of funny desert rodans you once had...

 

It is indeed, earlybird. I'm afraid they'll look for somethiung else to do soon.

You haven't seen nothing yet, Kahara. Or well, maybe a little bit.

Nope, Azure. Not at all.

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We raid the diy-manuals.
Knitting is fun but Konkers gets out needles confiscated. I told him not to leave them lying around, especially not where his roomies would find them. Or where they'd get poked by the pointy bits sticking out of somewhere. What am I supposed to do with half an oven cloth now?
And I miss the fighting. crotchet hooks just don't cut it in that respect. We tried.

 

"I don't understand why they refused!" Konkers is a study in righteous indignation, even holding several cubits of cloth.

"Really?" Sarcasm gets the better of me. "Really?"

"Sewing and stitching are very reputable activities."

"They require needles."

"So?"

He can be thick as a whole brick factory at times. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose.

"What do we do with this now?"

A cloth battle is a good start but not really a solution.

 

Make pillows (or stuffed Vader's, Artoo's and red guards) and start a pillow-fight

 

I feel stupid but I don't understand the needle thing, can somebody explain?

 

Good idea, earlybird. Unfortunately, Konkers is allowed any needles after pranking his roomies.

Findswoman is about right, Gamiel. Konkers let his roomies have run-ins with the knitting needles and won't get any needles for the forseeable future. That idiot.

Black market, Findswoman? Naw, I think there's something like distribution of things necessary for productive and respectable forms of recreation. And what people bring from shore leave.

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Guerilla decorating is forbidden.

Another éclat nobody seems to be able to get to the bottom of. Our luck we still have, well almost all, of the cloth to show. And not a single drop of superglue between the two of us.

And it looks pretty. Okay, maybe Konkers shouldn't have cut out the whole fleet from pink cloth and glued an artistic rendition of the battle of Yavin on the wall of a main corridor.

"Naw, probably just the rules for images again," he says. "Too little of the Emperor's face and too much of his robe."

"It had flowers on it, Konkers."

"Very fashionable, I understand. And I hear he's a very fashionable man."

"Pink and yellow flowers, Konkers. On a light green backdrop."

"What I said."

I'm just glad he didn't add Lord Vader and that the Emperor is not aboard.

 

I just can imagine the eye-catching mosaic there: pink and yellow flowers Making stuffed thingies like banthas or Ewok miniatures might be a good idea ...

 

You can use superglue on cloth and make stuffed things. And a flower covered emperor

 

Yes, Nyota's Heart, miniatures might have been a much better idea.

I think the unconventional idea to glue pillow cases and such has not occurred to them, earlybird.

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We swap the remaining cloth for paper-folding instructions and stacks of coloured paper. What some men get their wives. That some men here even have wives. Whatever.

"I cut my finger."

"Again?"

"It's bleeding." Konkers shoves his leaking paw under my nose.

I wrap a paper around it that will now not become a flower any longer.

Konkers complains. The paper falls off. "You got to do better."

The offensive limb is thrust into my face again.

"I'm not your mum, Konkers. I won't kiss it to make it better. You gotta find somebody else to do that."

"You could at least try."

"Bloody stupid idea." I wipe my mouth. "But at least you'll get rabies now."

"I knew there was a catch." He nurses his finger.

 

paper can be very hazardous. archivists know

 

Or they could use them as spitballs and aim them at the Emperor's likeness.

 

And papercuts hurt like hell, earlybird.

For a thousand paper cranes you get a free wish, Findswoman. Let's hope they wish for some moderation.

Somehow I get the sad feeling that the pink Emperor has been removed quickly, Nyota's Heart.

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Konkers doesn't actually get rabies. Doesn't mean he's not foaming around the mouth.

"Who do they think they are?"

"Your roomies."

"So?"

"You flooded the common space with birds of paper." I sigh. "And flowers. All of any we made in the last week, actually."

"It was definitely an improvement of the ambience."

"It was smothering every free inch to the height of about two foot."

"What I said."

"Look at the bright side," I say. "They didn't burn them while you were standing in there."

"They disabled the smoke sensor! And the heat detector!"

"Good thinking."

"Well~"

"Konkers?"

"Yes?"

"Don't."

 

* sings "It´s raining men!" for no reason whatsoever

Thanks for providing me with some good laughs here.

Somehow I get the sad feeling that the pink Emperor has been removed quickly, Nyota's Heart.

Och!