Saga - Legends Iron Butterfly: The Diary of a Queen [DDC 2015 - Breha Organa AU] - Completed Dec 28

*huggles little Luke* I'm not surprised he had such a reaction.

Love Bail saying that he is their father

 

How terrifying for Breha to see her beloved baby so distressed! It's interesting that Luke has these reactions but not Leia.

The love in this family shines so brightly.

 

Thanks for reading everyone!

Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 6

My babies are now 6 months old and growing like thesel flowers. Luke still has his bright blue eyes, but he’s getting some whips of blonde hair. Leia, meanwhile, has rich brown eyes and a mess of brunette locks which I am going to have so much fun with as she gets older. There has been plenty of sleepless nights, but over the past few weeks they’ve been getting good at letting mommy and daddy sleep through the nights. I know we could have had nannies do all the sleepless nights, but they already have nannies looking after them in the day when both Bail and I have meetings or assemblies to attend.

They have started to sit up and roll over. Leia loves anything that rattles. She’s our loud one. She babbles, screams and laughs. Luke is our quiet one. While they both are healthy and developing normally, Luke is content just to smile and shove anything he can in his mouth.

It is the holidays here on Alderaan. The weather is getting colder, the days are short, and parliament as well as the High Council are both on breaks until the end of Fete-week and the new year. So Bail and I decided to get out of the capital, give our staff a break and give us a break from politics and royal life. So this morning we packed our bags and the twins up for two weeks - including Fete-week. We are heading for our cabin in the mountains. The cabin has been in Bail’s family for generations and remotely monitored, so there is no need for security to join us.

It is several hours speeder drive into the mountains. Bail is at the controls and the twins are sound asleep in their speeder seats, so I have some time to myself to kill. I think I want to write on my favourite memory of this cabin.

~ ~ ~ ~

It was when I fell in love with Bail.

I am a bit ashamed to say, when I accepted Bail’s marriage proposal, I was not in love with him. We had been dating for a year when it was decided (for us) that we were to be married. Queen Mazicia’s heath had taken a turn for the worst and I was the only option for Alderaan. I did love Bail when he proposed, but as a friend. I cared for him and he cared for me. It was clear that we could put up with being married to each other and have a happy life together. The respect was there, as was the dedication to each other and the people. I wouldn’t have said yes if we had neither. But the passion just wasn’t there.

Anyways. After our upcoming marriage had been announced, the holozines were being particularly ruthless, hounding us and what they were saying about Bail and I was simply degrading to us both. I was apparently Bail’s mid-life crisis. So we went to his family’s cabin.

It was the middle of the winter (he formally proposed to me on Lovers’ and Beloveds’ day - it was cheesy, but charming) and a storm swept over the mountain as we were heading towards the cabin. I remember being so nervous. Not only was I going to be spending a full week alone with my fiancé, but it is is Alderaanian custom for a bride to sleep (with protection against insemination) with her groom once after the wedding is announced (they say “once” but no one ever listens to that). It is to ensure the bride and groom are physically compatible. It is often called the First Night.

Being a bit of a traditional girl, and only 23, I had never slept with any man. Bail, however, I knew he had a bit of a past. He was 40.

I remember him holding my hand on the speeder-trip up the winding path. “You are going to love it here. It is so quiet and peaceful. We have stables with equuses and an outdoor skating rink.”

I smiled. “I haven’t been skating since I was a girl.”

We pulled up to a beautiful, large cabin in the middle of no where. It was lightly snowing. Bail turned off the speeder. I was about to get out when Bail stopped me. I rolled my eyes as he got out, got my bags, then opened my door for me and helped me out.

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do. You are the future queen. You have to get used to stuff like this.” He offered me his arm and I begrudgingly took it.

He guided me into the cabin. I remember thinking it was huge. Then again, at the time I was living in a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate. Bail showed me to his mother’s room. The room was large, decorated in light blue fabrics and light blues. There was a large bed (which I may have belly-flopped on - I was so immature back then), a communication terminal, an empty wardrobe and a huge ensuite fresher room. “This was my parents’ room when they stayed up here,” Bail had explained. “I don’t think my mom will ever be up here again, so make yourself at home. My room is just across the hall. I’ll make some lunch and then we can go skating.”

I remember he sounded so excited.

After lunch we found some skates and made our way out to the rink. That is where it all went wrong. We began skating slowly, as I was rather rusty. Then Bail started to drag me along, trying to get me to go faster. We were both laughing when my knee gave way. I fell on my side. I tried to break my fall, but my arm broke.

I bit my lip to keep from swearing. I tried to sit up, but it hurt too much.

Bail then appeared at my side. I tried to insist I was fine, but it was clear I wasn’t. He tried to help me up, but my side was killing me and my knee would not hold any weight. So Bail picked me up in his arms and carried me inside the cabin.

He put me on the bed. “I’m going to comm a medic-team,” he said as he kissed my cheek. I tried to get out of my wet clothes, but it was almost too painful to move. At that point I started to get scared. No simple fall should have caused that much pain. I managed to get my long overcoat off, but that left me exhausted.

Bail came back after a few minutes with a first aid kit. “I asked for an airlift team, but they don’t think they can get one here with the storm, but they are going to try to send a speeder team. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know why everything is hurting so much.”

“We’ll get to the bottom of it when you get you to a doctor. You probably just fell awkwardly. In the mean time, can I help you out of your wet clothes?”

I nodded as he began to unlace my red dress - it had a corset back. “Though I had hoped the first time you undressed me would be more romantic than this.”

He chuckled. “I have some candles and flower petals in my bag.”

I sighed. “No you don’t.”

“I had this big romantic night prepared,” he said as he took my leggings off along with the dress. He turned his back to hang both garments up and I got to quickly take inventory of my body. My knee was swollen, my side was starting to bruise and my arm was definitely broke. I grabbed a throw blanket with my good hand and covered myself up.

Bail turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I just want to save the surprise,” I lied.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, sarcastically. “You ruined the surprise when we went swimming at the lake house and you wore that pink tankini.”

I laughed lightly. It hurt.

“That afternoon was torture,” he said, opening the first aid kit. “Let me at least see your injuries, then I’ll let you wear the big ugly flannel pyjamas I brought for myself.”

I let him put my knee in a soft brace. But he grew alarmed when he saw my ribs and arm. “Breha, I think something might be seriously wrong. I’m going to wrap your side up, but I’m going to comm the medcentre again.”

I didn’t refuse because I knew he was right. He bandaged me up with some bacta patches and helped me into his pyjamas (which I then stole and still wear to this day). He helped me under the blankets, prompted me up on a dozen pillows, put in a fire for me, then left.

I remember, despite the pain, I felt like a princess. I also felt incredibly loved and lucky. I was going to marry one of the most caring gentlemen on Alderaan.

Bail then came back looking worried and carrying a tray. “The medcentre said that there is no way they can get a ship to land here in the weather. They said it is probably just best to wait here for the speeder. So,” he said, setting down the tray. “I made soup.”

I smiled.

We ate and talked for a long time. I then must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is waking up on top of him (in the most innocent of ways - I had the blankets wrapped around me, we were both fully clothed, and he had his arms gently wrapped around me).

“Hey there, Sunshine,” he said, softly. “I think the medics just arrived. Can I go get them?”

I groggily nodded. He rolled me off of him. It was gentle, but something cracked on my already bruised side, making me gasp in pain. Between the pain and just waking up from my nap, I began to cry.

“Breha?” he panicked.

“Just get the medics in here, now.”

He did as I told him.

I was honestly surprised by my words. I will admit, I’m not a nice person when I first wake up, but I had just ordered the prince of Alderaan around, and I didn’t even say please.

The medics came in and started to examine me. I asked for Bail, but they said they wanted to get me in the speeder as soon as possible. To make matters worse, they decided to drug me before transferring me to the hovergurny.

By the time they loaded me into the speeder, I was pretty out of it. “Baiiil?” I whined.

He moved to my side. “I’m here, Sunshine,” he said, taking my hand. “What’s wrong? What can I do?”

“I’m sorry for ordering you around.”

He chuckled slightly. “Bre, you are going to be queen - and my wife. You are allowed to order me around.” He kissed me softly. “You had better get used to doing it.”

“In that case, hold my hand while I conk out.”

He did just that

~~~~

Luke is being fussy and we are almost at the cabin, so I will finish this in another entry.

 

Wonderful details in the present and the flashback. Bail is definitely a keeper - definitely!

 

Breha and Bail are a cute couple, it was nice to see a big of their courtship!

 

What a sweet courtship story! I hate to say it though, but I wonder if her injuries are the first sign of her chronic illness.
They are a lovely family.

 

AN: Quick update from the land of term papers! Thanks for reading everyone. These flashbacks make me want to write a canon-compatible Breha/Bail courtship fic! Maybe if I survive these papers I’ll start on Star Wars: The Courtship of Prince Bail.



Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 7

What an eventful past few hours it has been. We have settled in here at the cabin and have prepared it for the upcoming festivities.

Bail and I tried bundling up the kids and taking them outside to play in the snow, but they weren’t too keen on it, Luke in particular. I filmed a few holos, but Luke is crying in every one of them. He has never been a screamer, but he did not like the cold.

We came inside shortly after that and I fed them both bottles, so they were content. The whole fiasco tuckered them out. They are sound asleep in their playpen together. I think it is going to be a mainly indoor vacation, not that I mind. We have plenty to keep us busy.

Anyways. I think I’m going to spend this time finishing my story before I forget.

~~~~

I remember waking, some time later, with bacta on my breath, lying in a posh medcentre. Beside me, sitting down but obviously asleep, was Bail. Judging by the stubble growth on his face, I had been in a bacta tank for about a day. He was still wearing the same blue button-up collar shirt he had on when we had made our way up to the cabin. The first two buttons were undone and the collar was disheveled.

I sighed softly. He looked so concerned. I rose my hand up to gently brush his face. I then realized, I was not seeing my prince, or even my friend. I was seeing the man that loved me. He could have left, cleaned up. But he did’t. He had remained at my side as I had asked him to. Somehow, all at once, I fell in love with him.

Bail woke with an undignified grunt, but smiled when I smiled at him.

“Hey there, Starshine,” I said softly.

He took my hand and rubbed it lightly. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Better,” I said, honestly.

“Good,” he said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead.

“Gods, you need a shave,” I said with a chuckle.

“The doctor wanted to talk to you when you woke.”

Bail left and returned with an older female doctor. “Miss Antilles, I am Dr. Nhix. Would you like to have this conversation privately?”

I knew what that meant. I wanted Bail with me. “No,” I said, “Bail can stay.”

A look of relief washed over Bail’s face. I held out my hand out to him and he came to my side, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Dr. Nhix sat down. “I shall start from the beginning. When you first arrived here, we were initially very concerned because your injuries did not match Prince Organa’s the description of events. We put you in a bacta-tank so you could heal. We also went through your medical history and found out that you have had another innocent where a simple fall had caused a bone to break. So we took both blood and bone marrow samples and ran several tests. We can confirm that you have ostia-phromitia.”

“What is that?” Bail asked, pulling me a bit closer.

“Ostia-phromitia is a rare auto-immune disease that affects the bones. In layman’s terms, the immune system sometimes believes minerals in the bones is a foreign substance and attacks, causing the bones to become weak and brittle. It happens in generally random cycles, but these cycles and attacks get worse as a patient ages.”

“Is there any treatment?” Bail asked before I could.

“Yes. Though oral pills we can replace the minerals and correct the immune system, to a degree. Miss Antilles, your immune system will always go through these cycles, but through treatment, we can greatly reduce the severity. But there are side effects.”

“What are they?” I asked.

“The most significant one I feel I have to mention is reduced fertility. And if a woman does manage to get pregnant, the treatment will cause her to miscarry. Pregnancies with ostia-phromitia are theoretically possible, but no woman with this disease has ever carried to term.”

I then saw my world crumble. I would never have children. The implications then fell on me one after the other. I couldn’t produce an heir. I would never be allowed to marry Bail. If this information had come a day or two before, I could have probably dealt with it. But now, it threatened to destroy me.

The doctor gave me the prescription notes I needed and told me I could be discharged when I was ready. She left and my dam broke.

I cried and I cried hard. Bail tried to envelop me, but I pushed him away. “You should go,” I said. He looked shocked. “It will be easier for us both this way. Just go.”

“No, Breha, I don’t understand.”

I continued to sob. “I can’t give you an heir. That is what the doctor wanted to tell me. I can’t marry you.”

“I’m going to give you a couple minutes, okay? Then I am coming right back.”

He left. I cried until I could cry no more. I debated leaving before he could get back. I actually asked the nurse to bring me some clothes and I was about to change into them. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, but then Bail reappeared. He still look disheveled, but he was holding flowers. He stood at the door.

Tears threatened to fall again. “What, Bail?”

He came in, gave me the flowers, then knelt at my feet. “I want you to listen to what I have to say before you give me your answer, and you are allowed to say no at the end of this all. I know we both know I asked you to marry me because my mother is dying. And I apologize for that because it made it seem like I was asking you out of duty to my planet. Perhaps, at the time, just a few weeks ago, I was. But since then, I have continued to fall in love with you. Screw the planet. Screw my duty. We can make this work. We can try to have a baby, or we can adopt. I love you. I loved you when I asked you to marry me and I have fallen for you completely. You make me fall in love with you more every day. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I do. You treat me like a normal man. Your laugh makes me smile and your smile brightens my day. You truly are my sunshine. I’m not going to ask you to marry me again. I am going to ask you to give me the chance to make you fall in love with me. Breha, will you give me that chance? Will you fall in love with me?” He then opened a box with a necklace in it.

I smiled. “I already have.”

He then scooped me up in his arms and kissed me.

Bail and I then spent the next few weeks just doing what we wanted to do and really building a strong relationship. I think it really helped a lot, especially when the craziness of planning our wedding became a headache (which is an entire saga in and of itself), and through the many heartaches we have suffered.

~~~~

Leia is beginning to fuss. I had better go. But I enjoy writing. Perhaps I shall write something for Bail tonight. I think I’m going to recount our first real night together and send it to him. Just because I’m queen, doesn’t make me “proper”.




Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 8

Fete week with Luke and Leia was simply a joy. We are on our way back to the capital as I type this. We showered the kids with gifts. It was relaxing and wonderful. I just can’t wait till next year.

 

SQUEE! Oh melty! Yup, flashbacks rule.

 

Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 9


Today was a hard day for me. This date always will be. It is the 24th anniversary of my father’s death. It is also the 3rd anniversary of my most recent miscarriage. It is the day I have put aside to morn the loss of my 5 biological children.

I got up early, as I always do on this day. The sun wasn’t even up yet. Bail tried to stop me from getting out of bed, he always does, but I insisted I had to do this.

I had a sanisteam and dressed in a black dress and black robes. I did my hair in a simple braid. Bail was waiting for me when I got to of the ‘fresher. He was still in his briefs, holding a fussing Leia - she’s teething right now. “You don’t have to go alone, not this year.”

I kissed Leia’s soft brown hair. “Yes, I do.” I gave him a soft smile. “I’ll be okay.” I gave him a soft kiss.

I stopped briefly in the nursery and kissed the sleeping Luke. I gently rubbed his blonde hair. He woke, but only for a moment, to give me a smile, before drifting back off to sleep.

When I got to the hangers, my cousin, Raymus, was there, waiting for me. The speeder was already running. The only reason why Bail lets me do this every year - alone, with no security detail, is because Raymus comes with me. I sat in the front seat with him.

“How are the twins?” he asked as we drove through the city.

“Growing like crazy,” I said with a smile. “Leia is teething, but babbling like a politician. Luke somehow gets into everything, and eats like a Gamorrean.”

“Motherhood suits you, Bre. I am so very glad they came into your life.”

We eventually reached a cemetery at the edge of the city. The sun was just coming up. Raymus waited with the speeder. I made my way through the headstones until I reached my father’s and my son’s.

My father was Hian Rhriac Antillies. I was only seven when he died of termonuluas. I don’t remember much of him before he got sick; I was only three when he was diagnosed with the deadly disease. I remember him as a very kind, very funny man, but he was always so tired and weak.

“Hey, Dad,” I said, talking to the wind. “Sorry, no flowers this year, instead, I brought a flimsi-holo of your grandchildren.” I placed the image of Luke and Leia on the headstone. “Gods, you would love them. Bail and I are so busy with them. I love you.”

I then took a few steps to the right and brushed off the smaller head stone. It simply read Hian Rhriac Organa ~ Gone Before Hello. I placed a small, heart-shaped wood carving in the corner. “You have siblings now. But mommy will always love you.”

~~~~

I don’t talk of my miscarriages, but perhaps it will be cathartic for me to finally write about them.

My first two miscarriages happened fairly early on in the pregnancies. The first was only three months into my time as queen. I simply started to bleed one day. I was sitting in on a parliament and I felt sick. The prime minister at the time panicked and made me see a doctor. She told me, very clinically, that I had miscarried. She commed Bail for me and he just held me for a very long time. It was more of a shock than anything else. I think I was simply in denial more than anything else.

The second time was also from the drugs I take for my ostia-phromitia. It was just before our first anniversary. I was just enjoying a quite afternoon in our suite with Bail when the heavy bleeding started. I didn’t need to go to the doctor. I knew what had happened and it broke me. It was odd. The first time didn’t affect me nearly as much as the second did. I cried for a long time. As did Bail. He eventually carried me into the refresher and we sat together in the sanisteam for a long time.

The third time, the pregnancy was planned. It was two years into our marriage and we decided that I would go off of my medication and I would be inseminated at a fertilization clinic. I was so excited. I was pregnant for all of 7 weeks before my knee gave out, causing me to fall, break my hip and miscarry. I was walking with Bail at the time. That was the miscarriage that did Bail in. He swore to me that he didn’t want biological children. He said feeling so helpless has he held me as I cried was the worst feeling in the world.

That is why when I became pregnant four years ago, I didn’t tell him. Something just told me I was pregnant. Bail was away on business. So I went off my meds. Then, in a cruel twist of fate, I miscarried for no apparent reason. I was angry for a long time and stupidly determined to have a child.

So, I decided, three years ago, just before the war started to go off my meds and get pregnant. I did. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after the war started. When I found out, I told my hand-maidens, but no one else. I got medical approval to sit on all my meeting via holo-net. I knew the rumours were swirling, but I didn’t care. Bail was on Coruscant and too busy with the war to suspect anything.

It was hard. I barely walked. I was bored out of my mind. Having a team of hand-maidens follow me to the refresher was just embarrassing. But I knew, if I could just make it to about 25 weeks, the baby could be born, put on support, and everything would be okay.

I only made it to 15 weeks. I woke up one night, rolled over, and my pelvis cracked. I knew it was all over. I cried. I screamed. My hand maidens commed medics and tried to get me to the medcenter, but I refused. My mother, sister and aunts even came, but I refused to let them in. I laid in my blood and in the dark for a very long time.

Many hours later, Bail showed up.

“You’re mad,” I murmured as he appeared in the doorway.

“I should furious,” he said. “But right now, I’m too worried. We need to get you to the medcenter.”

“I’m going to have to give birth to him, or her,” I said, clinically.

“Yes, but I’ll be right there to hold you. You don’t have to do this alone. Not like last time.”

“You knew?”

He n odded. “I knew. I knew you didn’t want me to know, so I let you grieve alone. I knew it would only hurt you more if you realized I knew you betrayed my wishes.”

Breathing suddenly got difficult to breath and pain ripped through my body.

Bail panicked. “Breha, I think you are going into labour.” My body was trying to complete the miscarriage, but I had a broken pelvis.

“No,” I said as tears began to stream down my face again. “Not today.”

Bail knew what I meant. I didn’t want to give birth to my dead child on the day my father died.

“Bre, I’m not losing you.” He then called in the medics. “I’m sorry,” he said as he stood at my side.

One medic started feeling my pelvis. “Your Highness, we need to get you to the medcentre. Your pelvis is in pieces.”

“No,” said another, older medic, also at that end of the bed. “The fetus is coming now. Your Highness, we need to get you to push.” She tried to position my feet, but my femur broke. Over 15 weeks without my medication and my bones were crumbling. I screamed, Bail grabbed my hand, but that broke too.

“Stop touching her,” the medic ordered Bail and her team. “Queen Organa, I’m sorry, you have to push on your own before your body goes into shock.”

It was as if my body pushed, but my mind was elsewhere. Pretty soon it was over. I was drenched in blood, sweat and tears. “I need to see him,” I gasped as I fought darkness.

“Breha… no,” Bail began.

“No, I need to,” I insisted.

“It’s alright,” one of the younger medics said. She approached me with a towel, scooped my son up and put him in my arms. He barely resembled a human, but he was my son. Bail came to my side and held us both. He was crying too.

“Hian,” I said.

“Sunshine?”

“His name will be Hian. He will get a proper burial beside his grandfather.”

“Okay.”

*

I don’t remember much after that. However, I do remember waking up in the medcenter. I had been put in a bacta tank, but many of my bones needed to be encased in bone-knitters - barbaric looking wire frames.

Bail was at my side, looking fairly rough in a big grey sweater. His facial hair was scruffy and he had huge bags under his eyes. His hand was wrapped in a bandage. He looked like shavit. I immediately felt guilty. I had caused him so much grief at a time when he didn’t need it.

“Bail,” I said softly.

He looked up and a small smile graced his tired face. “Oh, thank gods, Breha.” He softly rubbed my cheek. “I thought I had lost you.” I could see that he was holding back tears. “They said it was touch and go for a long while. After all the adrenaline wore off, your body just wouldn’t go on.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly as his tears started to fall. “I will never go off my medication again.”

“Thank you,” he croaked hoarsely. “The doctors said if you ever become pregnant again, it will likely kill you.”

I closed my eyes and nodded.

“I have everything prepared for Hian’s funeral. We will have it when you are ready. I want to be here for it, for you, but I can’t be away from Coruscant for too long.”

“Okay. We will have it as soon as I am fit to leave this bed. I need you for it.” I took a deep breath. “What happened to your hand?” I asked, wanting to get off the subject. “Why is it bandaged?”

Bail turned away from me. “I may have gotten mad.”

“At who!” I asked, shocked. My Bail is nothing but gentle and dignified.

“At a wall. Don’t worry, the wall won.”

“Bail,” I sighed, softly. “Why would you punch a wall?”

“I wasn’t very happy with the prospect of having to find a new wife.”

“Oh Bail,” I said. “Come here.”

He then held me for a long time.

~~~~

I eventually said goodbye to my father and son. I made my way back to Raymus. We drove to a small diner and had breakfast. No one recognized me as the queen. It was quite nice just to be Bre Antilles again for a little while. As much as I love Bail, always being in the public eye can get exhausting.

Eventually I knew I had to go back.

When I got back to the palace, Bail was with the twins in the play-room. Bail was wearing all black, for me, but he had Luke in dark pants with a cream sweater, and Leia in a cream sweater-dress with black leggings.

They all smiled when they saw me. I got on the floor and played with my babies for the rest of the morning.

 

I've always thought Bail and Breha's fertility problems were heartbreaking - especially for Breha having had all of those miscarriages. Your depiction of them, particularly the last one was just...

I'm so glad they have both Luke and Leia as their children.

 

How utterly heartbreaking! I love that she has the twins, too, and Bail is a darling! Both in the earlier times and in the present! I can just imagine time away from public scrutiny is needful for Breha now and again.

 

I still love this fic, and I apologize for letting the previous post slip past me.

This is heartbreaking. No wonder Bail was so eager to bring a child to Breha at last. The idea of losing five babies is beyond comprehension, then couple it with the agony of your body snapping to pieces to deliver your dead child - I can't even begin to fathom that loss.

You have really gotten us inside the walls here, and made Bail and Breha such wonderful parents and such a loving couple. Beautiful!

 

AN: Thanks for reading and commenting everyone. Now for a much happier post!

Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 10


Oh goodness. It has been months since I’ve written in this diary. I have a feeling I won’t be updating this regularly any more. I’m just way too busy. Perhaps I will just stick to updating this for the “big stuff”.

Today was pretty big. My babies turned 1 today. One year ago, I held them in my arms. They are so big now. Luke is beginning to walk on his own. He can walk a few steps on his own, but he motors around if he has something to hold onto. Leia is just behind her brother. Leia is aways babbling - everything is “TA”! But Bail is “DA” I’m “MA”. But Luke has always been pretty quite. They are already getting into all sorts of trouble and messes. I, along with their nannies, have been busy. Thank goodness they are sleeping through the night… most nights. We have them in separate rooms now. Gods, that was a nightmare, but they kept waking each other.

Today was all about the twins. Bail and I had the day off so we started with breakfast, then a family portrait, plus some extra holos of the kids. Leia was in a bright yellow dress while Luke was in a traditional blue suit and knitted overcoat, much his daddy wears.

We had a picnic in the gardens. Bail and I fed them lunch, then let them explore.

A flitterly landed on Leia and she was positively amazed. Meanwhile Luke got into the dirt. Then his sister got into it. Needless to say, a sonic-bath was required before nap-time.

Bail and I laid them down for their naps in their diapers. It is getting quite warm here. Pretty soon my babies will be running around in swim-wear.

After I laid a very tired Luke down, Bail grabbed me from behind. “It isn’t often we have a couple hours alone, in the middle of the day with nothing to do.”

I chuckled as I leaned back into him. “What are you suggesting, Viceroy?” I asked.

“That we have some adult fun,” he said. “Get the cards, I’ll get some drinks and meet me in the sitting room.”

I chuckled as I got the deck of Drillan Blitz cards.

Bail and I love playing Drillan Blitz, but it’s a fast-paced game, so it isn’t east to play when one is tired after a long day of paper-work, even after the twins have gone to bed.

We made it through five rounds before Luke started to cry.

Bail got up. “I’ll dress him,” he said.

My men returned a few minutes later, this time Luke was dressed in greens and greys. Luke had groggy eyes and clinging onto Bail. I smiled.

“Are you going to help Daddy beat Mommy?” Bail asked, sitting down with Luke in his lap.

“Dada,” Luke said, looking up at Bail. We both froze. Luke had said his first word. Instantly our card game was forgotten.

“Yes, that’s right, Luke,” Bail said, hardly containing his excitement, “I’m Daddy. Can you say mommy, like your sister does. Say mommy.”

Luke just looked at his dad, confused.

I laughed. “Is Daddy confusing you?”

“Dada,” Luke said again, swinging his feet and smiling.

Before long, Leia started yelling. Bail gave Luke to me while he went and dressed her.

I held Luke close. Sometimes I remember that he almost wasn’t mine. He almost went to another family: Anakin’s step-family on Tatooine. I wonder about them and what Luke’s life would have been like. Would he have been loved? Probably, who couldn’t love Luke? But did I deprive another woman from the joys of motherhood? Did we make the right decision keeping him here?

Bail and Leia emerging from her room broke me from my thoughts. Luke laughed and clapped as his sister came into view, now wearing a green dress, similar to the colour Luke was wearing. Leia’s tired face brightened when she saw her brother.

Yes. We made the right decision. To separate these two would have been a crime.

“I’d better be getting ready. Guests will be arriving,” I said, getting up, and giving Luke to Bail.

Bail groaned. We decided to have the twins’ birthday dinner here at the palace in the grand hall. I tried to keep it a small affair, with just my family and the little extended family Bail has left, but an event like the Princess’ and Prince’s first birthday was a big deal and it was not appropriate to snub people, so a big ball was planned.

My handmaidens quickly helped me change into a formal gown, a light blue flowing dress with long sleeves and a sleeveless white robe, and do my hair and make up. By the time I was ready, Bail had changed too. I scooped up Leia, Bail picked up Luke and we were off to the grand chambers.

The ball was actually quite lovely. We asked for no gifts for the twins (we of course had gotten them a few things), but most of my family didn’t listen. We sat Luke and Leia, in their high-chairs at the head of the table. Our guests had a fine dinner, meanwhile Luke wasn’t too happy about his mashed veggies.

Come to think of it, Luke wasn’t to impressed with any of it. He spend the majority of the ball crying on my lap. He calmed down, but only when I made him a tent by draping a blanket over my shoulders. In there, he could ignore all his guests and play with his bantha. I didn’t mind sitting with him. It got me out of socializing with political dignitaries.

I smiled as I watched Bail dance around with Leia in his arms. She was giggling and smiling, as was Bail.

My mother then approached me. Now, I love my mother dearly, but her and I often don’t see eye-to-eye. We’ve always had a difficult relationship, but it only got awkward when I married Bail. She is still my mother, but I am her queen.

“Why aren’t you out there, dancing and socializing?”

“Luke is having an evening,” I said with a sigh. I was actually kinda glad he was, because I wasn’t feeling the greatest. I think I feel an ostia-phromitia cycle coming on. My medication may help the severity but I still need to be careful. I had warned Bail and my handmaidens and they all knew that I was going to take it easy during the birthday party and Luke’s fuss gave me an excuse without bringing attention to my condition.

“Well, maybe he needs to come see Grandma,” she said, picking Luke up. He squawked a bit but didn’t cry. Damn kid betrayed me. “I got him, go enjoy yourself.”

I begrudgingly got up and made my way to Bail. Unfortunately, several ministers entrapped me to discuss business.

Bail eventually rescued me by placing Leia in my arms. “Men,” he said. “The Queen and I would like a dance.”

We dropped a sleepy Leia off with her aunt Deara, and Bail and I enjoyed a few minutes together. We swayed in each-other’s arms. It was wonderful.

But then Luke started to cry and I knew it was time to retire for the night.

I took Leia, Bail took Luke, we thanked everyone for coming, then took the twins back to our suite. I changed Leia who fell asleep as soon as I put her down. I then went to check on Bail’s progress with our son.

I entered Luke’s room and I couldn’t help but smile. Luke was out of his clothes and into a pair of yellow pyjamas. He was in Bail’s arms, having his night-time bottle.

“I know he’s not supposed to have milk before bed, but he was hungry,” Bail said. Luke was pretty close to falling asleep.

“Bail, a year ago you didn’t even know how to feed him, let alone change Luke’s diaper. Now look at you two.”

Bail grinned.

“People say motherhood suits me, but I think fatherhood suits you just as much.”

 

Wonderful family time. I won't say what instantly came to mind with the phrase "adult fun". Yup, I bet that would lead to a tangled relationship "My daughter is the queen" And yes, they did make the right decision keeping the twins together.

Daddy!Bail is just ... just. delicious!

And Luke's first word awwww.

 

They are such wonderful parents and their love for each other is so strong. I like how you bring Beru into the picture. It's quite possible that Obi-wan never told Owen and Beru about Luke being a twin, but Bail obviously knew. He most likely would have told Breha. The idea that the twins might be split up is a difficult one to consider.

Love the details in this story!

 

Aw, it's so nice to see Luke and Leia grow up together - Breha's right, it was a crime to separate them.

I love the idea of Luke being a quiet baby, and then his first word being "dada"

 

AN: I am sleep deprived. I just finished an assignment using a BADLY translated text, so I'm feeling a little zany today! Also, just a short update, but I thought it was fitting for mother's day.

Geez. What a filthy, filthy mind. Who do I think I am, GINCHY?!

Thanks so much. I doubt Obi ever told Beru or Owen about Luke being a twin - the whole idea of Leia remaining 'completely anonymous'. I love Beru so much - I had to give her a mention.

Thanks. I've wanted to do my take on "Luke and Leia" grow up together AU. And Luke being a quiet baby, VS loud Leia comes from the fact that I was a silent, brooding toddler, meanwhile my sister NEVER SHUT UP. Sadly, not much has changed.

Thanks. Ha! I never realized the whole VADER-dada connection.

And

Spoiler

Beru will get a DIRECT mention in the summer and is scheduled to get another mention near the end of this diary, though I still got a LONG way to write.

 

A/N: So, I totally didn’t know this, according to the Wook, Winter’s parents actually died in 19 BBY, very shortly after the Empire took over. I thought Winter was orphaned as a toddler, not as a baby, but oh well. This is an AU anyways.

Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 11

It has only been a month since my last entry, but sadly, I must record this.

Two days ago, Bail’s senatorial aid, Sheltay Retrac and her husband, Ob Khaddor, died in a speeder accident. I believe it may have been politically motivated. Ob was an acclaimed artist and strongly against the empire. Unfortunately, because of Luke and Leia, I can’t launch an investigation or even accusations. Thankfully, Sheltay was a bit more reserved in her opinions, so Bail isn’t under suspicion.

They left behind a beautiful 15 month old daughter, Winter. She had no family, other than an elderly great uncle. So, Bail and I adopted her. Alderaan has strict rules regarding to accession of the throne. A princess who is adopted before her first birthday may ascend to the throne, but daughters adopted after their first birthday can not, so unfortunately, Winter will never hold the title of Princess, but she will be raised as one. She will hold a title of “Lady of Alderaan.”

We already have her moved into Leia’s room. Winter has her own bed and is thankfully already comfortable with Luke and Leia as we have had many play-dates. I don’t think Winter quite knows what is going on, but she does cry every night. Bail and I simply take turns holding her and rocking her. She will be loved by us.

Why do I get the feeling I am not going to get any writing in anytime soon?

Oh, yeah, because I am now a mother of 3 one-year-olds.

Ancient Gods help me!

 

Wonderful. And LOL no sleep indeed! It's a plus that the wee ones are already used to one another. Nice to see the origins of Leia and Winter's "sisterly" closeness.

 

Lovely to see Winter joining the Organa brood! It will be interesting for her to grow up with both twins and I'm sure they'll all become close friends.

 

Oh my gosh, three little ones? That will keep Breha and Bail busy! But what wonderful exhaustion it will be.

 

AN: Thanks for reading everyone! This is my personal favourite entry thus far.

Datapad: On
Command: Open “Diary”
Entry 12

My children are now 4 years old and I swear, I barely have time to breathe, let alone write in a diary, but I want to keep at least some snap-shots from their lives, and last night is a perfect snap-shot to start on. But first, a recap.

I am still queen and still happily married (most days), if you can believe it.

All the children have grown so much. Luke is a blond, blue-eyed, fearless lady-killer (not really, but that kid is going to break some hearts). He’s brave and loves anything to do with flying. He wants to be a pilot when he grows up, which isn’t a bad profession, but he has a much greater destiny.

Leia has long, thick brown hair and big brown eyes. Luke will have to beat the boys off with a stick when they get older, because Leia is likely to bring home so many, it’s going to kill Bail. Leia is all sass and all boss. If she wasn’t already destined to take my place, I swear she would become Empress. Maybe, if she had been born in a different time, she would have a future as head of the Republic.

Winter is our intellectual one. I swear that girl never forgets anything. She has clear blue eyes and white hair - a genetic condition from her biological dad. She says she doesn’t know what she wants to do when she gets older, but with her smarts, she could probably do just about anything.

They really are the greatest children, and about to go into school. Winter and Leia will be going to Aldera’s finest all-girls academy, while Luke got into the all-boys counterpart, the school that Bail when to. Gosh, Luke is so much like Bail, so kind and sensitive, he really showed it last night (which brings me into my snap-shot).

I was sound asleep when I was startled out of my slumber by crying. I sat up to see a small figure crying in our doorway. “Luke?” I said. “What’s wrong, pookie?”

“I had a bad dream.”

“Okay,” I sighed, slipping out of bed and wrapping myself in my robe. Bail was sound asleep. I’m not going to lie, I don’t like to be woken up. I thought when we past the baby stages we were done with the sleepless nights. “Why don’t we go get some water and talk about it so that we don’t wake Daddy?” I held out my hand to Luke, who took it. Once we were out in the hallway, I saw exactly how upset he was. Tears were streaming down his face. I knelt down and wiped away his tears with my sleeve. “Hey there, it’s okay, it was just a dream.”

Luke nodded. “I know,” he said as we walked. He climbed onto one of the stools in the small kitchen we have in our suite.

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” I said, getting two cups of water.

Luke shook his head.

“Come on, please? It will make you feel better.”

He sighed. “You kn… know that Darth Vader guy sometimes on the holonews?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to remain emotionless. It has been several years since I’ve personally been in the presence of Vader, and I rarely think about him, but I will never forget Luke’s and Leia’s true heritage. “Was your dream about him?”

Luke nodded. “Yeah, I can’t remember all the details, but I was older, grown up like Uncle Raymus, and I was fighting Darth Vader and we were fighting with laser swords and he cut off my arm and we were in this big shaft on this walk way so I jumped off, but I just kept falling and falling and then I woke up.”

“Take a drink, Luke,” I said, allowing myself time to gather my thoughts. “You’re getting too worked up. It was just a bad nightmare, besides, Mommy would never let Vader - or anyone else - hurt you.” I then hugged him tight and hoped to the forces that be, that my promise would remain true. I, for some reason, doubted myself.

“I know. It just wasn’t nice.”

“I know. Sometimes we just dream weird things,” I said as he finished his water.

“Do you ever have bad dreams?”

“Once in a while,” I said with a shrug. “But I know that they aren’t real and that nothing in my dreams can hurt me. So I get up, have a drink of water, then go back down and cuddle with Daddy.”

“Can I cuddle with Daddy tonight?”

“I guess so,” I said. I mostly just wanted to get back to bed. “Come on, kiddo.” I helped him off the stool.

“I gotta get my stuffed bantha,” he said, leading me to his room. We got his stuffed bantha and his pillow.

I then led him into my master chambers and helped him onto the bed. Bail was still asleep, facing away from us.

“Daddy?” Luke whispered, poking Bail in the ribs. I was discarding my robe, and not exactly paying attention to the fact that Luke was practically climbing over his father.

I was getting into bed when Luke screamed, began crying and practically launched himself off of Bail and into my arms.

“Breha?” Bail groaned, rolling over. “What the kri—” His eyes then focused. “Luke what’s wrong buddy?” He sat up.

Luke would not look towards Bail. The kid buried his face into my arm.

It was then that I realized that Bail’s continual positive air pressure mask makes him kinda resemble Vader. Bail suffers from sleep apnea, so he has to use a cpap machine at night. A clear mask goes over his mouth and nose and is strapped to his face using two padded black straps. The mask is connected to a machine by a long tube. We found out about the sleep apnea just after he turned 50, two years ago. His snoring had gotten unbearable and I refused to let him sleep in the same room as me. It was definitely a low point in our relationship, but since being diagnosed, things have gotten much better.

I sighed. “Luke had a nightmare about Darth Vader. He wanted to cuddle but I think your CPAP mask may have frightened him.”

“Oh,” Bail said, taking off the mask and putting it on his nightstand. “Luke. It’s fine, it’s just my medicine I have to take at night. But it’s gone now.”

Luke peeked. “Is Daddy sick?”

“No, buddy,” Bail sighed. “I’m just getting old. Now come here,” he said, taking Luke and setting his son on his stomach. “Why don’t you cuddle with Daddy so Mommy can get back to sleep?”

I lied down and started stroking Luke’s back.

“But don’t you have to take your medicine?” Luke glanced at the mask.

“Yes, I do, but only when I’m asleep.”

“But you should put it on. I want you to be okay,” Luke sounded extremely concerned for a four year old.

He was in the process of putting it on when two more figures appeared in the doorway.

“Winter? Leia?”

“We heard Luke yell,” Winter said. “It woke us up.”

“Come here then,” I said with a sigh.

Needless to say, even in a grand sized bed, it was not a restful night. But I got to cuddle with my three beautiful children.