Story [Multi-Fandom] It's a Drabble! (12/31: "The Giving of Thanks" (Guardians of the Galaxy))

Thanks.

Title: Unlucky in Love
Fandom: Freakazoid!


The Lobe paced about the room. "There aren't a lot of women willing to date a guy like me."

Freakazoid asked, "Is it because your head's all pink and wrinkly and brainlike?"

"I expect so, but it's not as if I've been able to take a survey."

"Did you try hitting them over the head," wondered Sergeant Cosgrove, "and tying them to chairs?"

"Seems a tad excessive, don't you think?"

"Of course it's excessive!" shouted Roddy McStew, struggling against his bonds. "But not any more than when you did it to all of us!"

"I don't want to date you!"

 

The above drabble was written after I met David Warner (voice of the Lobe) at a convention a couple weekends back. This one doesn't have any such specific origin.

Title: Ultraxenolinguistics
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation


"I do not think that word means what you think it means," Data said.

Ambassador Spock nodded thoughtfully. "Any definition would, of course, be speculative. That is only to be expected with a language that has been dead for millennia, spoken solely by a species extinct for almost as long. A species, I must add, that was utterly unlike humans or Vulcans physically and likely psychologically, though again, we have only the scantest of circumstantial evidence of what their thought processes may have been like. So, yes, Mr. Data, you could very well be right."

He added, "But you're not."

 

Ah, a conversation between Data and Spock ... can I now?

 

Not until I'm wearing my galoshes. I don't think there's anything spoilery in this drabble, which is very loosely based on an actual encounter.

Title: Faith to Face
Fandom: Avengers: Age of Ultron


"Excuse me."

Ultron turned and saw a tiny, wizened black woman standing behind him. In a thick Caribbean accent, she asked, "Are you a Christian?"

Ultron looked around to see if she might've been addressing someone else. "Yes, I'm talking to you, Mr. Robot Man," she said. "Are you a Christian?"

He chuckled. "Dear lady, I am something far greater."

Without warning, she slapped him across his Vibranium face. "Don't blaspheme," she hissed.

* * *

Ultron resumed his journey, a stack of more than a dozen religious pamphlets clutched in his hand. He muttered, "I should just have killed the old bat."

 

Title: Launch Window
Fandom: James Bond


"Frank, get up here now, man! You have to see this!"

That was the cue Bond had been waiting for. The Coast Guard launch that pulled up alongside Platino's yacht had been small, with just two men. One had boarded the larger vessel to investigate, but the other stayed behind. Until now. The sight of a morbidly obese man with a harpoon through the face can have that effect.

Once the second man was out of his way, Bond squeezed out through a porthole, dropped down into the launch, and stole it before the officers could realize what was happening.

 

Eeewwww A guy with a harpoon through his face would indeed be distracting.

 

I was expecting something to do with the space race, not Coast Guard launches.

Nice drabble.

 

Watched a lot of Archer: Vice not long ago, and you have successfully captured the vibe and Archer's random affrontedness rather than answering a question.

 

Thanks.

Title: Twice Dead
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Eleventh
Spoilers: Through "Name of the Doctor"


Twice. Clara had died twice for him. No more, no less. It was the most important thing about her, the very reason he'd sought her out. He'd met her twice, and each time, she died.

And yet, now, as he thought back over his lives, he recalled meeting her hundreds of times, seeing her die dozens. He knew the reason, of course, because he'd watched her fling her splintered self back into his past.

So what was it about those two times that he'd remembered them and them alone, even before she'd gone? Just how impossible was his Impossible Girl?

 

Aww, I really like this! Very sweet

 

Thanks. This is based on the Big Finish audios and the companion who starts traveling with the Sixth Doctor in "The Condemned."

Title: Keeping the Mystery Alive
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Sixth


The Doctor folded his arms. "Charlotte Pollard, why do I get the distinct impression there's something you're not telling me?"

"Because you've had that impression every second since we first met?"

"I mean," he countered, "something specific about this planet." He pointed past her to a large square; at its centre was a statue of Charlie with a man in a frock coat.

"Ah. Well, if I've been here," she hedged, "I certainly can't remember with my dratted amnesia."

A tentacled blue alien loped by. "Hey, Charlie."

"Hey, Phill," she replied. "Uh, I mean, hey, strange being I've never met!"

 

Title: The Lost Fifty
Fandom: Harry Potter


The students turned, confused, as an unfamiliar man walked across the dais to the podium. He was younger than most of the professors, though his hair was beginning to thin on top. "First," he announced, "fifty points from Gryffindor!" Though his voice was as strange as his appearance, some of the older students gasped in sudden recognition. "Twenty points is for leaving your polyjuice potion lying around for any random classmate or headmaster to drink. A further twenty is for buying your potion off the muggles' internet.

"The final ten points," Dumbledore added, "is because I'm apparently an American now."

 

Poor Dumbledore

 

Title: The Search for Meaning
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Twelfth


The Doctor grabbed Clara by the shoulders and leaned close, his eyes peering into hers. "Don't you see what this means?" he asked.

"Don't I see what what means?" she asked right back.

He stood there, not speaking, not moving, definitely not letting go, for a long moment. "How, of all people, Clara Oswald, could you ask me such a thing?" In a whisper, he repeated, "How could you?"

"Doctor," she told him, "You came into the room, marched straight to me, grabbed me, and asked if I saw what 'this' meant, whatever 'this' was. What is 'this'?"

"I forgot."

 

Title: Uneasy Pieces
Fandom: Deadpool


As the glow around them began to fade, Deadpool asked, "Wolvie, how long before we run into our counterparts in this reality? You know, the ones who are very recognizably us but different in narratively interesting ways that allow for loads of cute Easter eggs?"

And then he saw where they'd landed. And swore. Repeatedly.

The Earth of this reality had been blasted to pieces. These chunks, thousands of them, were slowly drifting apart but were still close enough to each other to have some atmosphere; most of the pieces were still on fire.

Logan shrugged. "Might be a while."

 

Title: Uneasy Pieces
Fandom: Deadpool


As the glow around them began to fade, Deadpool asked, "Wolvie, how long before we run into our counterparts in this reality? You know, the ones who are very recognizably us but different in narratively interesting ways that allow for loads of cute Easter eggs?"

And then he saw where they'd landed. And swore. Repeatedly.

The Earth of this reality had been blasted to pieces. These chunks, thousands of them, were slowly drifting apart but were still close enough to each other to have some atmosphere; most of the pieces were still on fire.

Logan shrugged. "Might be a while."

 

Title: Rhetorical Fruit
Fandom: How I Met Your Mother


Ted's voice echoed in the sudden stillness of MacLaren's. "Martin Luther King, Jr. did not say 'I have a Tangerine Dream.'" Lowering his voice to a stage whisper, he repeated the statement.

"That," Barney whispered back, "is just what they want you to think!" He stood, ready to leave.

"Who'd want me to think that?" I asked. "And why on Earth would they want-" But Barney was already gone.

A moment later Lily entered the bar. "Hey Ted."

"Barney thinks that Tangerine Dream was named for the dream in Martin Luther King's 'I Have a Dream' speech."

"Sounds about right."

 

Oh, Barney

 

Thanks. And I didn't notice before now that my original attempt to post the Deadpool one had gone through. Oh well.

Title: The White Terror
Fandom: Maverick


Bart Maverick slowed his horse to a gentle stroll somewhere just beyond the edge of the settlement. As he crossed over the line and continued into the town, he could see the devastation that he'd been warned of.

Scattered throughout, on buildings, on the ground, even on people, splotches of a fine white powder stood out against the brown and the dismal gray.

"Howdy."

Bart found Bret outside the saloon. His upper thighs and part of his torso were covered in the powder.

Bart replied, "Evening. Anything exciting going on?"

"Oh, you know. Same old, same old."

 

Title: That Prove the Rule
Fandom: Star Trek


The tour director grinned as she walked backward across the sand. She announced to her new charges, "Risa's reputation is quite deserved. We'll cater to almost any desire."

Immediately, hands went up throughout the group. "Before you start bombarding me with questions, I should amend what I just said. If it's legal - or mostly legal - in the Federation, we can probably accommodate you. We're not having another Black Widow incident on my watch. Now, what are you looking for?"

* * *

Six minutes later, she screamed, "Are you guys doing this on purpose? Did you specifically search for things we don't do?"

 

Title: Static
Fandom: Blake's 7


Vila waved his hand in front of Avon's face, but there was no reaction. He considered tapping Avon's forehead to see if that did anything, but part of him feared it would. "How long has Avon been like this?" he asked.

Dayna replied, "A couple minutes, maybe. Why?"

"I think he may be broken. If we have to buy a new Avon, can we get a nicer one?"

"I'm not broken," Avon interjected, otherwise remaining perfectly still. "I'm just thinking, something you might want to try."

"Yeah, well," Vila retorted, "you should try thinking and blinking at the same time."

 

Title: Swamped with Time
Fandom: Doctor Who
Doctor: Seventh

Even though the rubber waders came up to her armpits, Benny's lower half was still soaked with swamp water.

Ace, who had taken point on this excursion, glanced around and asked, "How long's it been since we've seen another human being?"

"Three, maybe four hours," Benny replied.

"It's been twenty minutes."

They both turned back toward the Doctor. "Really?" wondered Ace.

Benny added, "Are you sure?"

"I am a Time Lord, you know. Of course I'm sure!" He tapped his chin. "Hmm, something in this bayou may be affecting your temporal perception."

"Too right, Professor," said Ace. "It's called boredom."

 

Title: The Cyclonic Improbability
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory / Sharknado


"Clearly," Leonard countered, "it's not impossible, because it's happening outside right now. How about improbable?"

Sheldon considered this. "Fine. You can tell people that it's just improbable that tornadoes could have-"

He got no further, as just then, the windows shattered, and a giant gray form blasted through the gap and bit off Sheldon's lower half. The shark then flopped right back out through the same hole.

Howard screamed, and Raj ducked behind the couch to vomit. "Will you stop that?" Sheldon asked. "Leonard, you know what you need to do. Bring me my robotic legs. Go on, chop, chop!"