Saga Emerging from Shadows (Replies and Interlude 7/26)

Findswoman: She is. I am striving to convey that Aspirants know and accept the value and potential that can stem from building and working with familial units, something I feel the Jedi don't and it's their great loss. Presently, it is Wilhuff being led on the conversion path but as he is already husband/father/grandsire/some fashion of leader, I think it only right that his Clan and those he influences know that he accepts Toru as his Spiritual Guide in the Ways of Fashioner of Stars. Since he is coming to accept this shift in motive, thought, and actions as the Way, he absolutely wants his grandcub to be instructed in it.

I fret that exclusive intensive training and instruction can come off selfish. I don't want Wilhuff separated from those he adores for any great length until his two great tests that remain. You see, Peter cherished others and he needed the support of others. I am attempting to shrew this forth with Wilhuff because I intensely dislike how many project upon the character that he feels nothing whatever that is soft, gentle, some indeed don't even treat him like a Human Being. This troubles me.

As you likely are aware, this is an anti-war piece. It is likewise meant to highlight that I don't believe that 'adversary' equals the right to dehumanise. I consider it very dangerous.

At present, I don't know yet. If Toru/Jeremy inspire me to address it, I shall and it would fit given that other themes include: Responsibility and Mercy. Justice and Forgiveness.

Thank you for understanding. The hints of stiffness and injury are equally meant to reflect some of Peter's trails of ageing: loss of agility and mobility and the breaking of a hip. I don't enjoy making Wilhuff suffer but I hope by permitting it and showing it it may make my take on him more relatable. I equally am striving to show as you say that he is being prepared, changed by his path. The 'hardness' of Jova's conditioning is being stripped away.

I love it! You see Toru as a cat-being, very interesting. To answer you: Cushy was not a cat person at all for a long time. I prefer canids. However, God gave me a little dark runt of a tabby cat to love as my first major pet during the Divorce Years. I adore my Goof and yes that is why I say alien or not my Boys' characters can purr. Goof's purr could soothe Cushy like nothing else. I miss her.

 

Very Nice DD.

As I told you before, Toru is my favorite character of yours. What he's doing for Tarkin will hopefully give him the strength to endure. The religious overtones are evident and forgive me for saying but I swear even before I saw the bible comments, that is what I felt I was reading like in my head. I see you've also resumed using the "Stag" descriptions/metaphors, which I also liked from a previous bit you wrote. Nicely done.

 

Wow, the use of the Tarkin novel's rather harsh background is really intriguing here -- and rendered perfectly into the style and tone of the rest. I really like how you've chosen bits of canon and used them to make something unique with this. Having this Tarkin return to the Carrion Plateau to make some peace with the past is a really cool moment, and it shows in stark relief how his choice to embrace a more spiritual path has changed his destiny. One of the more disturbing things about that book (which is definitely well-written, just sad in a bleak and understated sort of way) is the clear legacy of the old Tarkins and their seemingly ancient tradition of brainwashing each new generation into the mold of the last.

The many contrasting kinds of paternal figures that we see in the chapter sections so far for "Papas" is a great reference back to the chapter title. We get to see several facets of Tarkin's relationship with the concept of fatherhood, from the emotionally abusive (or at least that's the best label I can put on the novel Tarkin clan's brand of child-rearing) shadow of Jova and his upbringing on Eriadu, to his grief and devotion to his own son Rookery, to the grandfather/granddaughter bond with Leilani, and then even his mentor/spiritual pupil relationship with Toru. It makes for a very moving picture of how this Tarkin has reshaped what "family" means for future generations of his family -- replacing that vicious cycle of cruelty and power with nurturing and love.

Wilhuff seems to have gone out of his way to do better for Rookery than his parents and uncle did for him, and the change is then reflected in the happiness of those memories of his son, and in Leilani's sweet nature. (Really liked her point of view, by the way -- her realistically child-like uncertainty in the face of intense emotional events and her caring for her grandfather both come through really well. ) And Toru has become for him the kind of loving paternal figure that he lacked in his youth as well as a mentor in his religious development.

 

Furio: Thank you. Yes, in nearly all my writings my firm belief in the Bible is a primary component. This is partly due to my faith being integral to both who I have become but likewise because I believe my talent for writing is granted by God and the conversion path for Wilhuff reflects that I see the elements of faith in Peter's life. Indeed, I strive to live in hope that all may be saved and trust God's Justice. Glad you like the deer metaphors.

Kahara: Thank you for the insightful depth of your reviews. A pleasure. Given I read Tarkin last month, I wanted to challenge myself to see if I could take elements of the broken lad and the desensitsed man and credibly express the reforming and rediscovery of his humanity, his heart. Likewise I am striving to fuse Tarkin and Peter together in essence which is a very delicate task given how different Character is on paper to Real Man. However that is why I take my lead from what I perceive of the film character and Tarkin book ONLY because I believe the baseline is Peter. I know this is an unpopular stance but I am glad to have it.

So glad you're enjoying the different parental relationships and yes, your observations are spot on.

This Tarkin section of Papas is winding down but I still have a far bit to say in the Chapter.
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Five Hours Later

A clawed hand taps the door that leads to the Tarkin quarters. Wilhuff starts frightfully at the unexpected disturbance rousing his companions due to his agitated movements and unsettled vocalisations.

Leilani scampers to her personal chamber to attempt more sleep. Toru rises and fetches a gleaming ebony walking stick whose shaft bears a large embossed W & H in brass lettering as his Pupil scrubs his haggard face and blinks blearily a few times.

Accepting the offered stick, the seventy-two-summer-old Wilhuff Tarkin dutifully coaxes his body into assuming an erect standing posture before calling softly: 'Yes? You may enter.'

A magnificent Ewok of uncommon stature and bearing possessing grey and black striping along his semi-shaggy fur adorned with a gurreck skull headdress and grasping a shaman's staff enters, his flat nose twitching.

Eyes widening, Wilhuff inclines his head respectfully. 'Greetings, Friend Teebo. Is anything the matter?'

Using a combination of perfectly simulated nature sounds and an excited wave of Ewokese, the shaman conveys his message, dark eyes grave, punctuating his warning with a few waves of his staff that cause his headdress and necklaces to jingle.

'The Father Spirit's hand is upon you, Striving Seeker. He has appointed me to inform you that your tribe is to receive a gift in the form of a test. Prepare.'

Touching the side of his right hand to his chest in a gesture of respectful acknowledgement, Wilhuff murmurs: 'I will heed your words. Peace guide your steps, Friend Teebo.'

Teebo has barely departed when a priority holomessage is received. In the time it takes Tarkin to settle at his desk upon which his holo transmitter is recessed, Hannah and Leilani cluster near sensing the unusual gravity of the pending message.

Asking a brief bracing prayer, Wilhuff presses a single finger to his thin lips thoughtfully as he waits for the message to decode and congeal into the nearly translucent blue-white shimmering form of a young Coalition Security officer, her facial features dainty but embedded with strength

'Forgive me, Sir, I know you're back home on a vital relief mission given the spikes in piracy and terrorism...'

'The point, if you please.'

'We just received confirmation that your son's murderer is in custody, Sir.'

 

Leilani bit:

Ever since you made your list of characters, I was waiting for Leilani "Playful Acklay" to appear. And there she is, d'aww!

The whole ritual seems appropriate for both where they live and how they're related to Toru and his complex set of guidelines. On the other hand, I can see that Wilhuff had not slept before that bath and his willingness to play with Leilani regardless is a sign that they're on the same wavelength, even when their dynamics clearly are different.

Now, the process itself was heartbreaking. One can see how much Rookery mattered to both his daughter and his father. The sincere, puppy-like nose kiss scene is especially touching. This is both a downer and an uplifting moment, in its own, strange and beautiful way.


The bit with Toru and the holy book:
The contrast of Toru and Leilani in the same place is interesting. From their outside, who would ever think that they both have the Force? Toru is an old man who seems worried even when he's tranquil and gives the vibe of a very disciplined being, like a straight line. Leilani, on the other hand, is a dotted line that goes where it wants, a true child.

The interior of Wilhuff's home is interesting. It's close to what I have imagined for my stories twenty years after the Battle of Endor, actually! Some tech, but not much and most things being still super-raw and organic. I could smell, taste and feel the texture and warmth in this bit.

Yet, with each passing season, the Kaladroni grows more certain that Great One Above has chosen Wilhuff Tarkin, ex-governmental official and military leader, to become His son.

Hmmm...he's not a messiah. He is not going to pass away. So...redemption? I assume the path to it won't be entirely thorn-free, but the fact that it started is already a big, big deal!

The symbolic "death" of the pre-redeemed self is one of the creepiest things I have ever read on this board, in a good way. Probably because real, actual death looks like this and equation between a metaphor and an event to this point has got to mean that the redemption will be special.

And Darth_Furio is a Toru fan, too? Yay! #torufanclub2015

The Teebo bit

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.

I am totally flattered with the cameo my favourite SW character got in your story. He is the messenger, by Force and he sees what will happen before the message actually arrives to Endor. Love it how the spiritual connections and the living Force travel faster than anything conveyed with technology.

Not to mention that seeing him as the shaman in future, like it should be and like it hope it will be in the new canon, or I'll have to taser some rear-ends is extra-wow.

And now the cliffhanger. I know I said I was slow, but forget that - I want to see what happens next!

EDIT: After you just told me that these scens happen on Eriadu, I wonder if I'm the only one who made that mistake.

 

Likely not, Poet. After all it is the Officer's error she calls Eriadu 'home' in relation to Tarkin. Wilhuff does indeed consider Endor his real home. I love your reviews and thank you for being an ear and helping Cushy iron out various bits of this.

I am almost halfway through the Big Moment bit which will nearly conclude this Tarkin Section of Papas.

 

These words cause Wilhuff's stark features to tighten with misery and grow dark with a rare display of genuine anger turning his mouth into a snarling grimace as he howls with undeniable feeling as a hand flies out to grasp and shatter a lovely decorative vase from Altair VI.

Hannah gasps at the announcement and shutters as water and glass shards go flying. Wilhuff's fingers and hand are abraded and punctured by the slivers of crushed glass and blossoms of blood slowly stream down coating his flesh in ribbons of burgundy and scarlet. However, he is seized by such great emotions, he doesn't feel anything of his latest injury.

He gradually returns to his senses as he feels Hannah's knowing hand tenderly and masterfully massaging his knotted neck and shoulder muscles and feels precious Leilani bury her face in his side from her place upon the floor beside his chair.

Voice thick with emotion, Wilhuff manages somehow to say: 'My family thanks you for this news, Lieutenant. Please forgive my lapse of decorum.'

While the dutiful woman speaks to her husband, Hannah slips to the refresher and retrieves a dermal regenerator, tweezers, sterile moist cleansing wipes, and cotton swabs.

Returning with the medical supplies, the graceful lady kneels down on her man's opposite side and meticulously addresses first the elegant hand of her beloved then disposing of the rubbish, Hannah next sweeps up the debris of the vase and mops up the water and small blood spatter trails.

Though the holofield is still active, when Hannah returns again to his side, Tarkin gently raises her hand to his lips kissing it reverently. 'Thank you, Hannah. You attend me so well.'

Leilani suddenly pipes up: 'What's going to happen to him?'

The security officer glances at Tarkin then the girl uneasily and with a hint of disapproval. 'Sir, I'm not sure this matter is suitable for a child.'

Bristling slightly, Wilhuff waves a finger as he chastens: 'Now see here, your caution is understandable, do not mistake me, however Leilani is in her ninth summer, according to the traditions of the Tarkin line 9-15 are the age range during which a young person may experience his or her Rite of Responsibility and the concerned is her sire. Since she has chosen to be present, I shan't send her away.

'Kindly, do answer my granddaughter's inquiry, Lieutenant.'

Nonplussed, the chestnut-tressed woman regards the conflicted gaze of expectant Leilani. 'That is yet to be determined, Mistress Tarkin. That is the purpose of my contacting your grandfather. For the sake of accuracy, I must point out that the culprit is a she.'

This causes Leilani's mouth to fall agape several moments before she marshals her composure again.

Pressing a button and putting the feed on standby, Leilani declares: 'This is my Age of Responsibility trial, I feel it.'

'No, not this!' Hannah protests, aghast.

Taking pity on his wife, Wilhuff lightly entwines their hands as he rests them upon his bony knee. 'Come now, Darling, you know better than we others newer to the Path of Realisation that Lord of Might's tests are never easy to endure. If they were, they would profit no one with growth.

'Believe me when I say I find it disquieting that our little sapling is required the Trial of Blood but we must submit to His will and trust this. Perhaps Leilani will be spared the taint of transgression I, myself, still bear.' Shame and disgust deaden the keen eyes.

Swivelling his chair, Wilhuff summons: 'Come before me, Leilani Starshine Tarkin.'

Complying, Leilani regards her grandsire unflinchingly as his hands skitter soothingly across her upper back before coming to rest on her small shoulders: 'Your years are tender but you have already experienced many things. Granddam and I have done our best to rear and prepare you justly since the day you came to us when your mother cast you aside.

'This day shall be with you, a part of you, for the rest of your days beneath the vast Seas of Stars no matter where your decision and motives for it lay. Do not choose in the fury of rage nor linger in the shadows of apathy's paralysis. Look to Lord of Might and Fashioner of Stars. Granddam and I shall not interfere. Step forth and declare thy Decision!'

Weighty silence settles about the trio as Leilani contemplates and rustles with her divergent desires.

A fervency tingeing her actions, the youth's features are set with determination and her words are steeped in poignancy: 'Patch me through to her and give me five minutes with no recording from any source and no prompting of any kind.'

Seeing the intensity in Tarkin's eyes, the Security Officer knows better than to protest.

A sneering middle-aged woman asks snidely: 'What you want, Pipsqueak? Your Grandsire too timid to face me himself, eh?'

Ignoring the insults, Leilani squares her shoulders and informs: 'I have two questions and a statement. I won't take much of your time. Mind your answers though they have your fate in them.'

'Oh, Little Miss Deep, huh? Throw at me your worst, honey.'

Leilani clenches her jaw in vexation but doesn't rise to the bait.

'If you have anyone you love, do you want to return to them?'

'Of course I do, Pipsqueak. Ma, a little sister, I even have a fiancée waiting for me.' The woman clearly considers saying more but curbs herself.

Fingers digging into Cuddly's sleek plush pelt, Leilani stands upon a razor's edge as she strives to calm the chaos within her so she can pose her final question. Her voice cracks and tears well in her eyes as she demands: 'Why did you do it? Why did you rub me of my Papa?!'

'I wanted to humiliate your grandfather. I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted him to know he's not the Master nor is he untouchable.'

'Rest assured, Ma'am, I shall be keenly aware of your last three claims until my last breath.' Wilhuff says wearily.

Words an indignant whirlwind, Leilani commands: 'Let her go. Let her live out her days such as they are. I never want to behold an iota of knowledge about this being. We will have words in the Next Life, Lady. Till then.'

The transmission is abruptly terminated and Wilhuff stands gathering the now sobbing lass protectively within his loving embrace as he whispers: 'I am so proud of you, Precious. You did what I do not know if I could.' He rains kisses upon the small head as shock and feeling grab him in a fresh tidal wave.

 

Findswoman: I am sorry you found Tarkin's reaction 'extreme'. I honestly thought it was high time to show a bit of anger. I do not think either Sir or I are inclined nor easily given to it, as both of us are: nervous, sad, upset types but neither do I pretend either of us did not know anger. I am deliberately taking a more sedate and individually poignant approach with Wilhuff than I have basically seen anyone else do. However, everyone must release their sufferings at some point and unlike several others I do not make him of a violent temperament, I simply show that both Peter and I *feel* very deeply. For that, I am not ashamed.

 

Given what has transpired this week I do not think I will refold the Pack into this as I originally intended. It doesn't feel right now. Likewise I may not deal with the Skywalkers, either, as a Clan. I may deal with Anakin for one specific reason but that is likely all. In light of these changes Shadows will likely conclude in two chapeters following the conclusion of Papas.

 

This bit wraps up this section. Next, I will be shifting to a focus on Dooku's Clan.

Three moons after Leilani Tarkin makes the courageous and landmark decision to pour mercy out upon her father's murderer, all six of her adopted Codru-Ji aunts and uncles declare their intentions of returning to the Expansion Regions. It is delivered by Shi'pon, the male that has emerged as their leader.

Though the Tarkins are saddened by this announcement, none offer objections. The Pack are no longer pups that require Caretakers' supervision, attention, and structure.

On the evening of parting, the trio sombrely stands in the hangar bay, backs straight, hands clasped behind their backs. Eyes tracing the now familiar forms of the aliens they viewe as children, Wilhuff whispers reverently: 'This night, we that were entrusted with these wayfarers, humbly relinquish all hold upon them. So great is our devotion and affection for Thee and them, that we do not groan or fret as they return among the vastness of Thy marvellous Universe, Fashioner of Stars. In memory of our service and love I ask of Thee, walk with each of these all their remaining days. If it be Thy will, for myself, I would welcome a reunion in the New Age.'

With this, a small deep-space research vessel launches from Mildness never to be seen again.
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On the one-year anniversary of returning to Eriadu, the Mildness departs for Naboo.
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Thank you for clarifying that, Finds. It startled me too when I saw his hand whip out and shatter it. However, I am finally returning to writing what I feel after years of struggle and I thought Wilhuff had earned expressing a bit of anger. I didn't let it last long because I have noted that Peter's emotional turn around is often even more swift than mine. Yet, we share a 'it's there and intense and then it's gone' cycle. I do not think we can sustain anger due to our emotional delicacy and need for equilibrium.

In the tale, that is indeed why. Originally, I was going to divide the Clan--half stay, half leave. However, I just can't hear them anymore and given everything Wilhuff has been through I don't want to tear him asunder with guilt and grief again. I am going to now explore Dooku's Clan and yes, Toru, Wilhiff, Anakin, and Thimen will all appear.

I am debating when exactly I will baptize Wilhuff. Before or after his trip to Rakata Prime. The other thing I haven't pinned yet is when to mention the family of ex-Storm Troopers again.

 

Wow. This is some pretty challenging concept - Leilani makes a noble, merciful decision and then the cubs leave. I guess that we have to let go both of those we hate and those we love. Niiiice parallelism.

Also, write what you feel is right and don't worry about our reactions. We just tend to freak out at freak out moments, I think. That means you made those moments realistic enough for that to happen!

 

Poet: Thank you. I was likewise striving to show that sometimes the young can teach/inform/instruct the elders--Wilhuff's honesty in saying he doesn't know if it had been his choice that he could've shown the callous woman mercy.

That is a reassuring approach.

I received my latest 'Sir Book' in the post this morning and am reading it. It is packed with photos and testimonies and even personal correspondence Peter had with others. Very enlightening though I am five chapters in and very little major data is new as yet but some of the nuances of the man and how he's perceived by others is. I am grateful Peter Cushing: A Life in Film is of a much more respectful and careful tone than the other two tomes I bought, read, and discarded in the dustbin. It may assist me in adding completely new aspects to the wind down of Shadows as well as endow my fresh take of my Personal Tribute: To Mend the Heart with a poignancy and a depth of emotion this most Human of men so richly deserves.

 

Note: As of roughly 30-minutes ago, I have finished my read through of my Birthday Book. Over all a marvelous volume about an extraordinary man. I am rather a bit drained at yet again freshly reading reactions to Sir's suffering and death. I am relieved this mild soul is not anguished any longer.

Yesterday, I spent 5 solid hours writing one of the most distressing things I have ever committed to the page. I am glad in the last fortnight I have had two similar vastly 'purging episodes'. However, I do hope it heralds the nearing of a close to a very arduous and difficult path.

As for Shadows, I have three major sets of events I intend to convey, then it shall likely be over. My heart urges me to offer one final heartfelt attempt of loving tribute to my Sir. It will likely have echoes of stories and characters those that have been with Cushy on this rambling path on over the years may recognize. However, I may scrap my rather grim story threads dealing with war, child abuse, and rape and instead offer my take on 'Good Words for Sir'. This darling man has endured so very much and with such dignity, genuine nature, and grace I feel compelled to craft a positive and largely happy tale dedicated to his memory to show that it is his tenderness, authenticity, loyalty, nurturing, and the undeniable power of his breathtaking simplicity that has inspired me so.

 

Removed because this section was ill-placed.

 

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Same here. NOBODY among us can do the justice to what is so dear to your heart. If we would interpret one or two things the way we wanted it, it would no longer be your vision.

 

All I wanted was to show I love Peter and that everyone is human and has hope of healing no matter what. I wanted to pen a tale of peace *worthy* of the sweet man that most here simply jeer as a planet-killer that supposedly feels nothing in Star Wars. But I can't hear them anymore and I am soooo very tired of the anguish and tears. I feel like I have failed him and I just want it to stop. Thank you for the support. I am sorry but I am sick of forcing things.

Poet: Give me a few days and I'll let you know what I decide about the OCs you commented on.

 

You definitely haven't failed him. You and your quaint tale inspired me to go read up on Peter Cushing's life.

He loved his wife more than life. He loved animals. He loved watching gentle birds go about their day, cuz he was a gentle man. He loved to paint. To act on stage, in front of a camera.

Violet died. Her passing shattered him. But Cushing kept his promise to her that he would keep living until it was his time to pass. And so he lived, half-alive, many years after her death, and then they were finally reunited in the beyond.

 

Helen was his *inspiration* and Peter is *mine* and I shall remain unashamed of this no matter the judgement and flack I face. Inspiring the few to look behind the characters to the fragile *man* beneath is why I returned here. Thank you for sharing that.