Beyond - Legends Atonement- a Jacen Solo Fanfic

Title: Atonement
Author: Anedon
Timeframe: During FoJ
Characters: Jacen Solo,OCs
Categorization: Legends, AU
Notes: Other than Jacen is alive, I try not to contradict the legends canon.

This fic is an older one from me i decided to translate and upload here. I also changed some details to make it fit better with FoJ. (Basically all events of FoJ play out as in the books, Jacens journey is not directly related to them)

Thanks to the wonderful Lady Belligerent, who is my beta reader.

One

Jacen watched how the planet under him became smaller and smaller while their ship left the orbit and prepared for entering the hyperspace.
He turned to the Jedi beside him. “How far is it from here?”

Gaven turned to him. “Only one jump through the hyperspace before we reach Darvin. I guess we are there in a few hours.”
Jacen was surprised, Gaven answered him.
The older Jedi had been silent for the most part of their travel. Again he asked himself why of all the Jedi in the galaxy Gaven became his partner for this mission.
“I was born there, you know?” Gaven continued. “On Darvin, it’s a hard place to live but I`m looking forward to see it again.”

Did he read my thoughts or was it coincidence he talked about that?
Jacen didn´t knew much about Gaven and even lesser about the world Darvin. It was an Outer Rim world like so many others, too far away from any civilization to be a part of the galactic alliance. And it was the place his uncle send him to. Like so many times before he asked himself why the Jedi had given him this mission. Just a week ago he had thought they would keep him in his cell for the rest of his live.

He had expected to never see the light of the Stars again, and in his hearth he had known that he didn´t deserved any better. He was a traitor and a mass murder in their eyes.

And in his own? Jacen didn´t knew even that. He had believed that there was no light and dark side, only the force and that he was strong enough to avoid the fate of his grandfather. But now he wasn´t sure about that any more, he wasn´t sure if anything Vegere told him was true. He even asked himself if the vision that led to his fall had been real. Lumya could have created it, bring him to the dark side.

He felt the guilt overcoming him, for a moment he saw the dead again: Mara, Isolder, Admiral Paelleon and all the other that died during the second galactic civil war. He stumbled a few steps back and tried to find a clear though. But he could only think of the deaths he caused and of Jaina of the hatred in her words when she spoke to him.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Gaven stood before him and looked directly into Jacens brown eyes. He didn´t said a word but the look in his grey eyes was warm and Jacen managed to calm himself down a bit.
“Thanks.” Jacen muttered when he could think clear again. When he looked out of the ships window he saw that they entered the hyperspace.

“I can´t imagine what you are going through at the moment.” Gaven said in a softer voice that usual, “but I can sense your guilt and that tells me there is something good left in you. Something of Jacen Solo.”

“Jacen Solo is dead,”

“As is Caedus.” Gaven answered.

“How can you say that?” Jacen asked him.

“As I said, I feel your guilt; I feel that it is your greatest wish all that never happened. You wish you had died on Mykr instead of your brother.” For a moment they stood there in silence than Jacen nodded.
“He was a so much better Jedi than I ever was. He wouldn´t have felt to the dark side, he wouldn´t have killed Mara and those countless others.”

Gaven sighted. “We cannot tell what would happened if you died in his place. So we shouldn´t think about it. Maybe there is a reason you survived.”

Jacen laughed bitterly. “A reason? You say the force wanted that a good boy died and a monster survived?”

“I haven´t spoken of Mykr, I think you can still do good and that’s the reason you didn´t died on the Anakin Solo.”
Jacen said nothing to this. He had spent most of the last four years thinking about why he didn´t died there.

Jaina had heavily wounded him, but in the end he could have killed her. But instead he had used the force to warn Tenel Ka and Allana from the attack that otherwise would have killed them. Maybe it was this action that led the Jedi to spare his life. As if one noble action could make up thousand evil. And now? They had released him from his cell and send him on this mission.
Why?

He knew most of the galaxy thought Jacen Solo was a rotting corpse inside of his grave and he assumed that most thought that this was a fitting place for a man like him. A traitor, a murderer, a Sith. Only a hand full people knew about his survival. His family and some trusted allies. And a part of this lie was in fact true. Jacen Solo was dead; he died for his family when they discovered what he had done to them and the galaxy. For Jacen, he already died when he was captured on Mykr. But he also knew that Caedus was dead as well. Jaina killed him on the Anakin Solo. And now he was… just Jacen. To the public a bounty hunter, in secret an agent of the Jedi order.

“There are many problems for us to face right now,” his Uncle had told him the day they released him. “Daala has declared the Jedi traitors against the alliance and remnants of the ancient Sith are attacking us. But there is even a bigger threat.” And then his uncle had told him about Abeloth.
After this Luke Skywalker had turned directly to Jacen.

“There is another thing. Two days ago we got a message send over an old communication canal. A canal that hasn´t been used since the massacre of the old Jedi order. It´s a distress call. And I want you to find out who had sent it. Maybe there is a connection to Abeloth.”
At first Jacen couldn’t believe that his uncle would let him out of his cell. But Luke Skywalker had kept to his word and now Jacen was here, on the way to the outer rim world Darvin, to search for answers.

“Maybe you´re right,” he said quietly to Gaven. “Maybe I can do something to atone for my sins.”

“Fate has given you a second chance Jacen Solo. Don´t waste it.” Gaven answered.
For a short moment they both stood there in silence.

Then, without a warning the floor under them moved to the side and both men landed on the ground. Jacen felt a series of vibrations though the ship, and when he looked out of the panorama window he knew what was happening. Their ship was under attack.

 

Thanks Lady Belligerent. I´m glad you like it.

Two

Jacen jumped back on his feet and for a moment there was only one though in his head:
They have found me.
Somehow the galaxy must have learned of his survival and now they had come to make sure he died for good.
“Pirates!”Gaven cursed next to him watching though the panorama window.
When Jacen followed his view he recognized that most of the attacking ships were older than the galactic empire. He didn´t know most of their specifications but he guessed Jaina would have known them all. For a short moment his thoughts returned to his sister, he remembered how they fought on the Anakin Solo, and he remembered the hatred in her words.

An explosion somewhere behind them brought his thoughts back to the present. He could see how one of the attacking ships came closer to theirs and prepared to board them. Jacen reached for his lightsaber only to realize it wasn´t there.

Of course, the jedi hadn´t returned it to him after he was released and even if they had returned it, it was too conspicuous to wear it in public. So he reached for the light blaster he wore instead.

“My lightsaber is in our cabin.” Gaven told him as the left the upper deck.

Their ship, the Adventure was a freighter, which mainly brought supplies to the worlds in the remote parts of the outer rim, so Jacen guessed the crew had some experiences fighting pirates, but the force told him that this attack would be harder than the usual.

When they reached the small room, they had rented most of the crew was already in defensive positions and armed. Jacen noticed some of the other passengers and he felt their fear of the fight that was about to begin. Gaven entered their quarters and returned a short moment later with his lightsaber. In this moment they heard blaster fire from the deck below them. The attackers must have reached them. Jacen saw a young mother hugging her children and assuring them they were save.

“I will go down there and try to fight the attackers off.” Gaven told them and walked towards one of the ships elevators.

Jacen followed him, but before they reached it the sounds of blaster fire stopped.
“It’s too late to go down there.” A member of the Crew, a Togruta told them. “You should stay here. Together we have a better chance to survive.”

Gaven thought for a moment, than he nodded. They went back to the others and Gaven told the scared passengers to hide in their quarters until the fight was over.
Jacen wished he had his lightsaber with him. He created the sword himself and he knew that only a few people in the galaxy could beat him when he uses it. Well this had been four years ago and he wasn´t sure how strong he was today. He tried to concentrate on the fight but his mind was to confused to work.

What if the fight brought Caedus back?
What if he would again turn into the Sith Lord and slaughter everyone on board?
He felt Gavens eyes on him.

“Jacen stay behind and protect the passengers,” the older Jedi ordered him. Once again he asked himself if Gaven had just read his thoughts. Did these four years made me so easy to read? But he followed Gavens order and searched for cover behind a locker a bit behind the others. Then they waited. Jacen concentrated on the fight and his thoughts became clearer.

A moment later the elevators opened and their enemies stormed into the corridor. They wore the same old amour and weapons like most pirates Jacen had seen before:

Blasters and vibro blades, nothing special. Although he recognized one who was wearing an amour the soldiers of the old republic used during the clone wars. After they left the elevator they opened fire on the defenders immediately. Most of their shoots were surprisingly precise for rogue pirates and they managed to hit two crew members before they could even react.

The next thing he saw was the blue lightning of Gavens lightsaber. The older Jedi stepped forward and defected most of the fire, but it also blew their cover. Now everyone knew Gaven was a Jedi, because he acted as one. He had put the lives of the crew and passengers over their mission. The crewmembers were surprised for a moment but then they returned the fire. Jacen held his blaster in his hand but he was unable to shoot. He had the feeling that every man he killed would worsen his crimes; that it would be as if he killed Mara again. So he just sat there and was unable to move.

He saw how Gaven killed two of their attackers with their own blaster bolt, how the crewmembers shoot three more. How the pirates stormed forward and ignored the fire that was hitting them, while another group stormed out of the elevator. They are too many.

Some of them now attacked Gaven with their vibro blades and the older Jedi wasn´t able to defect the fire any more. The Togruta was hit and landed next to Jacen on the ground. He saw the blaster wound in her stomach and felt her pain in the force. Jacen left his cover and grabbed her arm trying to pull her behind the locker. But then a blaster bold hit him in his chest, he felt the pain and stumbled back. It was like Jainas lightsaber had hit him again… Jaina…


When Jacen awoke he had the feeling everything had been a dream. He hadn´t died through his sisters hand, he hadn´t killed his aunt, he never turned to the dark side, his brother never left this world, the Vong never attacked the galaxy…

He was again a student of the Jedi academy and before him was nothing but a great day with his sister and his friends. They would listen to uncle Lukes teachings or maybe Tionne would play a song for them. They would fight a food battle with the other students or play Raynar Thul a prank.

Everything was alright and he was happy.

Then he opened his eyes, the ceiling over him was mad of iron and had nothing similar with the ceiling in the temples of Yarvin 4. He laid on a small bed much less comfortable than the one he had in the academy. One the walls there were no cages filled with the animal he collected, instead nothing but bleak metal.

He tried to sit up but his chest protested against that. When he looked down he saw that his upper torso bare and he recognized the wound on his chest. It were the same scars he had seen at the victims of lightsaber attacks. And when he looked further he realized that one of his arms had been replaced with a prosthetic. Then it hit him with the power of a death stars laser.

Nothing had been a dream. The Vong had attacked the galaxy, his brother was dead and he had turned to the dark side. Despair filled him and another thought.

Allana! His daughter, had she survived? Had his warning reached her and Tenel Ka?

He turned around and tried to leave the bed once again, but the pain was too strong. When he looked to the side he saw that one side of the room he was made of transparisteel and behind it… Jaina. His sister stood there and looked at him. She didn´t said anything, she just looked at her brother and in her eyes he saw the hatred he saw in her eyes while they fought. But there was something else Jacen wasn´t sure about. Regret? Contempt? Mourning? It could have been all three together or none of them.

“Where is Allana?” he asked. His voice was so weak it was nothing more of a whisper. Jaina didn´t answered she just stared at him.

“Where is Allana?” He asked again and his voice was even weaker than before. Jaina kept silent for a while then she said.

“She is alive.” Jacens eyes filled themselves with tears and he started to cry. He just laid there and cried, than his sister spoke again.
“Why Jacen, why?”

 

Lady Belligerent I was really sad when I read Invincible the first, and only, time. I´m glad you like my alternative.

Three

When Jacen awoke the pain in his chest was gone. He lay on his back on a sleepcouch; above him he could see a dark ceiling over him. It was dark in the room, only a weak lumapanel spent some light. Again I´m not dead, he realized.
Jacen tried to sit up and he managed it without any pain.

“Ah you’re awake.” He saw Gaven above him and realized he was in their quarters. Gaven stood at the other sleeping couch and tended the wounded Togruta with bacta.

“What happened?” Jacen asked him.

“They stunned you while you were dragging her behind the locker. I guess it hit your scar directly so it was painful. Shortly after you passed out I managed to fend off my attackers and drove them back. They retreated and tried to destroy our ship but the captain managed to bring us back into the hyperspace.” Gaven answered.

“How many have died?”

“There four dead crewmembers. Some others were stunned like you, I think they tried to capture as many of us as possible, to gain some extra profit. On their side at least ten are dead, and one is badly wounded. He is on the med station right now but I think he won´t make it. Three have surrendered.”

“And the passengers?”

“They hid in there quarters until the fight was over, they´re okay.” Jacen kept silent for a moment then he asked.

“What about her?” he pointed at the Togruta. “She will make it. Her wound isn´t as bad as it looks and thanks to you she didn´t get a second hit.” Gaven turned around. “There some other injured I want to look at. Can you take care of her if she needs something?”

“Of course.” Jacen nodded. After Gaven left he just sat there for a while and thought about what the older Jedi had told him, some of pirates had escaped their ship and they had seen Gaven with his lightsaber.

Jacen knew that Daala had placed a bounty for any Jedi that would be captured; they could only hope that no rumours of their presence would reach the new chief of state. He didn´t want to imagine what would happen if his cover would be blown. He would be imprisoned and executed but, than Daala would also uses his survival against his family.

Again he asked himself why Gaven had to use his lightsaber, couldn´t they have driven the pirates away without using it? Maybe but then more members of the crew would be dead right now. Gaven had acted as a Jedi, he knew and when he was younger he would have done the same. But when he grew up he had started to believe that the end would justify the means and that the needs of the many were more important that the personal ones. But where had that way of thinking led him?

His guilt returned as his thoughts returned to the second galactic civil war. He had started a war because he believed it was the only chance to prevent the dark future he had seen. Jacen wondered how Gaven would have acted in his place. He would have told the other Jedi about what he had seen,Jacen knew. And he would have tried his best to find another way to prevent this future from happening. But Jacen?

He had slaughtered countless innocent, members of his own family and in the end almost caused Allanas death. The guilt overcame him again and he could only think about what he had done to the galaxy. Again he wished he had died on Mykr instead of Anakin. He asked himself how the force could have let this happen, that a hero died and a monster survived.

He didn´t deserved this he knew, he didn´t deserved a chance for redemption.

The Togruta started to wake up and Jacens thoughts returned to the present. He left his sleepcouch and he sat down on the chair next to her. She was young, younger than him and he assumed she hadn´t been part of the crew for long. She opened her eyes and smiled at Jacen.
“Is it over?” she asked in a quiet voice.

Jacen nodded. “Yes, they drove the pirates from the ship and managed to escape in the hyperspace.” He could feel how this relived her.

“You have saved my live.” The Togruta continued.

“No I´ve just tried to drag you into cover,” Jacen replied a bit harsh.

“You have risked your own life to save mine. You are a hero.”

A hero. There had been a time Jacen Solo was considered a hero to the galaxy. The brave young Jedi that faced the leader of the Vong and killed him, ending the invasion.

The name Solo had basically stood for hero. His parents the heroes of the rebellion, his brother the hero that gave his live for the galaxy, Jaina the sword of the Jedi and him Jacen Solo for a time maybe even the greatest of them.

But now... Now his name stood for treason, cruelty and evil.
“I am no hero.” He said quietly. She took one of his hands, the real one, in hers.

“You are, I know it. You have a good heart.”
Jacen felt miserable about this. This young woman believed him to be so much better than he was. She gave him praise he didn´t deserved and was friendly to him, because she had no idea who he really was.

“You don´t know me. I´ve done terrible things.” He replied.

“Maybe you have, but for me you are a hero. You have just forgotten that yourself.” She answered and he could feel that she was serious about that. The door opened and Gaven entered the room.

“We have reached Darvin. Are you ready?” Jacen nodded and stood up.

“What is your name?” The Togruta asked him.

“Jacen.” He answered.

“Then farewell Jacen, I won´t forget you.” When he left the room a thought came to his mind: Maybe the Togruta knew him better that he knew himself.

Maybe there was still something left of Jacen Solo. And maybe, just maybe he could really do something to atone for his sins.

 

Lady Belligerent He feels definitely very bad about it. I think he wants to be redemed but isn´t sure if he deserves it.

Sinrebirth I´m glad you like it. It definitely was even more than Thrawn death. For me Jacen is the most interesting Star Wars character.
Maybe he could but I think even without the force Jacen is still smarter than Daala




Four

Jacen followed Gaven through the small spaceport of Darvin. They had left the ship almost immediately after they landed, they had said their goodbyes to the crew and Gaven had asked them to not tell anyone he was a Jedi.

But both of them knew that they couldn´t keep it a secret forever. Many of the crewmembers would visit the cantinas here. The spaceport was fairly small consisting of an old building that contained the landing pits, some streets of durasteel barracks and three cantinas.

Outside of this small settlement there was nothing but an endless prairie. Gaven had told him that pretty much the entire population of Darvin lived out there as nomads. They followed herds of great aliens over their planet. It was a simple life but they lived it since many generations, staying outside of galactic politics and being too small and worthless to catch the attention of a major power.

But the spaceport was different; it resembled most of the spaceports Jacen had seen in his life. It was loud as several different species tried to communicate with each other in their different languages. Nobody took any interest in them.

They were just two more strangers, here at a settlement full of strangers. Jacen noticed that most of the others here were armed too, some even wore uniforms but he didn´t know the symbols on them. He suspected these men could be mercenaries or part of a local militia.

Gaven stopped his walk and for a moment the older Jedi stood just there, in the middle of the crowd. Jacen knew that Gaven used the force to get an overview over the situation.

He walked beside him.

“I can´t feel any real presence in the force here, aside from yours. If there is really a Jedi around he must know how to hide his presence.”

Jacen nodded. “It was a distress signal of the old Jedi order. If it was a Jedi that used the distress signal he must be a survivor of the massacre. He probably knows how to hide when he hid his presence for such a long time.”

“If it even was a Jedi. It could also be a trap or someone used the distress signal unintentionally.” Gaven answered. “I guess it will the best to visit one of the cantinas. Maybe there are some rumours that could help us, maybe someone around here knows more.”

The air in the cantina was hot and filled with smoke when they entered. Practically every place in the room was taken and Jacen wondered how so many different persons had come to this place, so far away from any civilisation.

Gaven led him through the mist directly to the counter.

When Jacen looked around he saw a holographic band consisting of biths in one corner. Skimpy clad Twi´lek women brought the drinks to the tables and Jacen saw some of them sitting on the knees of the customers.

They reached the counter and found two seats, that weren´t taken. They sat down and Jacen concentrated and searched in the force for dangers. But while he could feel anger, rage and mistrust nothing was directed at them. He relaxed a bit.

One of the three barkeepers, a human in his age turned to them. Gaven ordered drinks and when the barkeeper brought then he asked.

“There are many customers here. I remember last time I was here it wasn´t as half as full."
The barkeepers grinned.

“Who are you? Bounty hunters?”

Gaven nodded. “And you haven´t heard about it? That’s strange.”

“We spend the last week mostly traveling through rough space, so we haven´t heard any news.” Gaven answered and Jacen was surprised what good liar he was.

“Oh were your travels successful?” the barkeeper asked.

“More or less,” Gaven answered and sighted.

“I understand.” The human grinned even more.“Well many of these guys here are on the run. Daalas politic hasn´t been very friendly to them. Other ´s were hiding here for even longer. Have you heard about this Darth Caedus? Some of them fought for him in the war and came here after the war fearing prosecution for the crimes they have committed in his name.”

Jacen nearly swallowed his drink. The sudden sound of Caedus name had shaken him. He felt how his guilt threatened to overcome him again. He had given these men the orders to commit these crimes. It was his fault that they were forced to leave the civilized regions of the galaxy and hide here in these forsaken systems.

“What’s wrong with you?” The barkeeper had noticed Jacens reaction and starred at him.

“It´s nothing.” Gaven answered in his place. “He had fought in the war, and he lost something there. I guess everyone has.”

The barkeeper shrugged. “After the war they were forced to sell their firepower to the highest bidder. They formed a mercenary group calling themselves the Lost Sons.”

“Okay,” Gaven answered, “But why are they here? The galaxy is big, there other places to hide.”

The barkeeper kept silent for a moment to tend another guest’s wish and then he returned to them.
“They search for Jedi. It´s been rumoured for a long time that in this sector an old Jedi enclave exists. Shortly after the massacre on the Jedi, people on these planets started to hear suspicious messages over the holonet. They are encoded of course but some of the travelers said that these codes were used by the old republic.

In the years after the imperial takeover many imperial passed though here. They were searching for something, but nobody knew more. In these days rumours came up that there exists a Jedi enclave somewhere in this part of the outer rim. But the Imps didn´t find it. After a few years they left the sector and never returned, while the broadcast of the messages continued.”

“You are very generous with this information’s,” Gaven noticed.

“Oh everyone here knows this. It´s no big deal.”

“And why are all these mercenaries here, now?”

“They search for the enclave. In the last half year more messages than usual floated through the sector and this made them suspicious. There is a bounty on the Jedi you know? Daala wants them and many of this men hope, that when they bring her some they might get pardoned for the crimes they committed in the war. So they started to search through the sector to find the enclave. And they started to recruit others to strength their ranks. Cause, you know, these Jedi are very strong.”

Jacen felt again very bad, he had ruined the life of these men and now they were hunting Jedi, hoping that would pardon them. His sins were still haunting the galaxy.
He wished he could do something for them, but what could he do?
Nothing came to his mind. He asked himself how they would react if they knew that their leader was sitting here among them.

They would tear him apart and they probably even had the right to do it. Or they would sell him to Daala. He drank the rest of his drink.

Gaven stood up and put some extra credits on the table, he gave Jacen a gesture to follow him and together they left the cantina. On their way out Jacen saw a group of the mercenaries the barkeeper talked about. For a short moment he had the feeling that he knew one of them but he wasn´t sure. How did they call themselves?

The lost Sons.
Jacen asked himself if the universe had a dark sense of humour.

 

Lady Belligerent I´m glad you liked that idea.

Five

Jacen and Gaven stood together on a windy hill a few klicks outside the spaceport.

After they left the bar the older Jedi had left the settlement and Jacen had followed him. They had walked almost a standard hour until Gaven stopped.

Then he turned to Jacen.
“I guess we are safe here to speak open. This is a bit more than I expected. I thought we would run into a trap or that everything would turn out completely pointless. But a Jedi enclave? That is impressive.” He stood there in silence.

Jacen asked. “But why didn´t we know anything about it? Why did they never contact us?”

Gaven thought about it for a moment. “I guess we didn´t know about it because it wasn´t in the imperial archives. The barkeeper mentioned that the imperials searched for it and didn´t find it and the emperor wasn´t very proud of his failures so maybe he didn´t include it. Why they didn´t contacted us is a greater mystery. Maybe they are so isolated they don´t know what’s happening in the galaxy. Or they believe the news about the new republic is part of an imperial strategy to lure them out of their cover. But I think we cannot say if something of this is true.”

Jacen asked. “What do you think we should do now?”

Gaven stood a moment there and watched the grass waving in the wind for a moment.
Then he said.” I think we should try to find more about it. Our task was to seek a Jedi who possibly hid here the last sixty years. So I guess we should continue our search.” They thought about it for a while.

“I guess we won´t get much information’s in the spaceport the Lost Sons have been there for weeks and it didn´t looks like they have found something out. I doubt even its on Darvin. I think I would have noticed it. This is my home world.”

Jacen thought about it. “I don´t think we can find them in the force. They managed to hide from the empire for years. Vader and the dark jedi would have found them. But if we take into account that in a group of Jedi not every one of them knew how to hide their presence they must have found another way. I remember that my uncle taught us that some jedi could hide their presence by staying close to place in were the dark side manifested.”

Gaven nodded. “Yes, I`ve heard the same. That could also explain why they didn´t feel the return of the jedi in the force.”
He started to walk in circles while he talked.
“The problem is that this sector was always a very lawless place. It was never part of the republic and many sith and dark Jedi seek refuge here, most of them were even killed here. So I think there are lots of places where the dark side is strong.”

Jacen answered him. “Yes but, I think if one dark Jedi died somewhere the dark side isn´t strong enough to hide a group of Jedi. So it should be a place where more of them died, maybe a battlefield.”

Gaven nodded, Jacen could feel how his thoughts where running through his head.
“You´re right. I guess we can rule most of the places out then.”
He stopped and turned to Jacen. “And I think I knew a person that can help us.”

Jacen looked at him, a moment before Gaven had been very excited but now there was something else in his voice, worries?

“Who?” he asked.

“An old friend, I haven´t seen her for years but she knows this sector better than the most.” He turned around, back to the spaceport.
“We should go if we want to meet her before night fall.”

They returned to the small settlement. On their way back Jacen´s thoughts turned to his friends. He asked himself what they did at the moment and in which corner of the galaxy they were.
Most of them didn´t know that he was still alive, at least he assumed that. Tenel Ka knew but even thinking of her was hurting him.

He remembered the one conversation they had, the one time she had visited him in his cell. But he didn´t want to think about it. When they reached the spaceport they spent the next hour searching for a land speeder.

During their search they passed some groups of Lost Sons and Jacens guilt plagued him again. He wished he could do something for them, but what? Jacen saw the bitterness in their eyes and it filled him with shame. He was glad when Gaven finally managed to find a speeder.

It was an older model Jacen didn´t know but he assumed Jaina would like it.

While Gaven drove the speeder trough this endless ocean of grass Jacen thought of his sister. What was she doing right know?

From the news he heard during their travel he knew that Jaina had become a key figure in the Jedi rebellion against Daala. He smiled by the thought but it disappeared when he was again transported to the Anakin Solo.

He remembered how he begged her to let him save Allana and Tenel Ka and how she demanded his death instead.
How their lightsaber crossed over and over again.
How he at the end allowed her to kill him so he could warn his daughter from the attack, and how painful her lightsaber strike...

“Jacen!”
A voice called him out of his vision.
He opened his eyes.
Gaven looked at him and Jacen could see the worries in the face of the older Jedi. “What happened?” Jacen asked still shaken by his vision. “You´ve suddenly started to scream, like if you were in great pain. I thought it would be the best to wake you up.”
“Thanks.” Jacen muttered.

“You have dreamed of your duel against your sister?” Gaven asked him.

Jacen nodded. “It happens more often since I have left my cell.”

“I see. Is there is anything I can do to help you?”

Jacen shock his head. “No, but thanks.”

“Okay, we are there.” Gaven pointed outside.

There in the middle of nothing but prairie, stood a house.
It was build of durasteel like the barracks in the spaceport, but it looked far more inviting than them. When he left the speeder he asked himself how Gaven managed to find it. For him every part of the surroundings looked the same. Around then the night began and the world became darker, while a cold wind blew around them.

While they stood there someone left the house and walked to them.

“Gaven? “ The woman asked. She was a bit younger than Gaven he assumed, but older than him. She was slender and had short dark hair. Gaven turned to her, he smiled.

“Nev, it’s been a while.”

 

Lady Belligerent Thanks, the next chapters will give some insight in Gaven.

Six
The woman smiled.
“You have an interesting definition of a while. It´s been eight years since you left.”

Gaven answered. "The galaxy is vast and I can´t be everywhere at the same time." She laughed and hugged him, Gaven hugged her back and smiled.

"It's good to see you, Nev," he said.

"Well, you can´t have missed me that much, when you spend so many time out there instead of visiting me."

Gaven took a step back. "Nev, this is Jacen. Jacen this Nev, well actually..."

"Just call me Nev," she assured Jacen.

"Nev, Jacen is my friend. We are on a mission and I thought you could help us."

The woman, Nev, smiled at Jacen. "A friend of Gaven is my friend as well."
She hugged him.

Jacen was too surprised to hug her back and for a moment he asked himself when someone had done that to him the last time.

He couldn´t remember.

"We better go inside," Nev told them. "We shouldn´t stay out here when night falls." Gaven nodded.

They followed her into the house. Inside it was warm and comfortable, Nev lead them into a room that was filled with some armchairs that stood around a low desk.

On the desk stood a carafe, filled with a liquor in the same brown as Jacen's eyes. Nev sat down in one of the armchairs and Gaven and Jacen did the same.

Gaven and Nev talked a bit about the events in the galaxy while Jacen's thoughts returned once again to his family.

How did they felt about his mission?

Except for Luke he hadn´t seen any member of his family since he left his cell. He was sure they knew about it, but he wasn´t sure what they thought about his mission. His parents were still very dismissive to him, but he knew that Jaina felt a bit sympathy to him. Sympathy I don´t deserve. He had done so many terrible things and still his sister believed in the good in him. Maybe our duel has changed her as well.

When they had fought on the Anakin Solo his sister had demanded his death, but something must have changed then.

She had spared his life, and she had convinced the other jedi not to kill him or put him on trial. Instead they had imprisoned him in a hidden outpost of the jedi order.

Jacen missed his sister but he knew that he would never be able to talk to her like before, he would never feel their twin bond again, he had committed to many sins to consider her as his sister any more.

He left his thoughts and concentrated again on the present as Gaven asked, Nev. "And how have you been doing the last years?"

She smiled. "Well things got better after you left. My wound has healed and I returned here in the year after. Since then I´ve stayed here and lived my life."

"As we all did." Gaven answered.

Nev turned to Jacen. "Is everything okay? You look very sad."

Jacen looked at her. "No I´m good I just thought of my family."

"Have you lost them?" She asked friendly.

Jacen nodded. "You could say that."

Nev looked down. "I´m sorry for that. Gaven and I lost our families years many years ago. We have looked after each other since then, until the day Gaven left to become a Jedi."

For a moment the three humans sat there in silence.

Than Nev asked."So what is it about with your mission? Why have you returned?"

"Well a few days ago the Jedi recorded a distress signal of the old Jedi Order from this sector. They assumed the signal hailed from Darvin but I don´t think that true. We found out about the rumours of a jedi enclave in this sector and now we are searching it."

Nev looked at them. "I´ve heard about these rumours but I didn´t believed them. How do you think I can help you?"

"Well, we think these Jedi are hiding at a place where the dark side of the force is strong. A place where a Sith or a dark Jedi has died. You know more about this sector then I do and I thought you could help us."

When Jacen looked out of the windows he saw that around them the night had come. While he looked into the darkness he thought for a short moment he had seen something out there. Large creature, but when he looked again there was nothing to see but darkness.

"I think I can help you." Nev said in a quiet voice. She activated a holoprojector on the desk. It showed a star map of the sector.

Jacen recognized Darvin at edge of it.

"Let's see. You are looking after a place a dark jedi died. I will search for every planet where such an event was reported." She typed something in a console and Jacen saw around two dozen planets being highlighted.

"We assume that the enclave is at a place several Dark Jedi died or one very powerful." Gaven added.

Nev typed again and about a third of the highlighted planets remained. They looked at the projection.

"Have you more info?" Nev asked them.

"I think the planet should be offering some natural resources most species need to survive, like water. I don´t think they can import much without blowing their cover." Jacen said.

Nev nodded and typed again.
While she did Gaven took the carafe and filled three glasses with the liquor and took a swallow of his, Jacen sipped some of his and liked the taste.
Nev had finished her typing and four planets remained:

Darvin, Learan, Tyrek 4 and Asterian. Jacen noticed how Gaven fixated the last planet for a moment before he said.

"I´m very sure they are not on Darvin, and Tyrek 4 is a water world with one small continent, where some settlements exist it would be difficult to hide there, but let's check the incident there."

Nev typed. "A group of dark Jedi fled there but they were killed by the locals."

Gaven thought about it."Maybe the republic didn´t even knew about this. So we should rule them out."
Jacen took a shallow of his drink and concentrated on the two planets left.

"So Asterian and Learan, both have some large continents and where settled." Nev summed it up.

She zoomed to Asterian. "Well on Asterian a Dark jedi ruled the planet for almost twenty years. with his followers until he was killed by the Jedi and some mandalorians. It´s said that he had many followers and most of them died in the same battle."

Gaven looked directly at the planet. "Maybe the enclave is there. That would be a great irony." Nev nodded.

"Yes but the problem is that the battle took place in the capital city, which was rebuild afterwards and is still the home of many beings. So hiding there could be difficult."

"What about the other planet?" Jacen asked her, Nev typed.

"Well Learan has seven continents that fill almost half of the surface. Most of the population lives in small villages shattered there. The locals a very isolated and dislike most strangers."

"Any connection to the jedi?" Jacen asked.

"Yes, the Jedi once helped some of the local communities against a epidemic. maybe they hold the jedi in high regard."

"What about the dark jedi?" Gaven asked.

Nev looked at the projector. "There was once a Sith academy on Learan, some Sith had fled there after Malaks defeat and tried to rebuild their power there. But the republic discovered them and destroyed the academy. All Sith there where killed as far as we know."

"Then there would be a massive presence of darkness there. It´s the most logical place." Gaven concluded.

Jacen nodded, while Nev continued reading. Then she looked up.
"And we have forgotten something, the Phaeron it´s on Learan."

Jacen could feel how Gaven shivered."The monument of darkness. I haven´t thought about it for a long time. It makes Learan an even more likely place. Maybe the Jedi wanted to keep an eye on it."

Nev nodded. "I guess we have found your planet."

Gaven drank the rest of his liquor. "I´m glad you helped us Nev."

The woman smiled. "Anytime Gaven, but I´m tired now and I don´t have to be Jedi to see you are feeling similar. We can talk about all this tomorrow."

Jacen saw that Gaven tried his best to cover a yawn. He felt tried himself and he knew that Gaven must be even more tired than he was.

Nev stood up made a gesture to follow her. "I will show you were you can sleep." The house was larger than Jacen had thought, Nev led them trough some corridors which floors where covered with carpets. Then she stopped at two doors.

"These rooms are for guests." She said and showed it to them.
The room she showed Jacen was very comfortable as was the sleepcouch in it and shortly after he laid himself down, Jacen fell asleep.

 

Lady Belligerent I´m glad your enjoying it.
Sinrebirth Thanks, I´m glad your like my ideas.

Seven
Jacen stood inside of his cell, desperate trying to find words, words to explain, words to apologize. But nothing came over his lips.

Tenel Ka stood outside of his cell and the view in her eyes was colder than the void between the stars. Almost a year had passed since they imprisoned him here, at least Jacen believed that. It was hard to get a feeling for the time down here. He had no chrono and he decided to turn the lights in his cell off or on.

Jacen didn´t know how long Tenel ka had already stood there before he had recognized her.

Minutes?
Hours?

He didn´t know.

It was the first time she visited him and he had the feeling that it would be the last time too. In the last years his sister had visited him a few times and also his parents and his uncle, but they all had shown him nothing than dismissing.

He knew his parents believed both of their sons where dead and Jaina... She claimed she had lost both of her brothers a long time ago and deep in his heart Jacen knew they were right. Jacen Solo was dead, he died on Mykr, on the worldship and in the ruins of corusant where a true hero had died so he could return to his family.
A family that was no longer his.

But Tenel Ka, she was the mother of his daughter, Allana, the only reason he felt still alive. And she just stared at him, he felt the pain inside him, the pain of the fifteen year old Jacen Solo who didn´t understand why the girl he always tried to get to laugh was hating him and the pain of the man who sacrificed everything to save her and his daughter.

He saw the hatred in her eyes the hatred of the Warrior girl and the hatred of the princes alike. I´ve killed her father he knew, Isolder was one name more on the giant graveyard he would call his legacy. His guilt overcame him and he collapsed against the transparisteel and started to cry.

The woman he loved said nothing. "I´m sorry," Jacen muttered in tears. "I´m so sorry." He continued.

Tenel Ka stared at him, then she said.
"I´ve told my daughter that you where dead and I wish that hadn´t been a lie."

Jacen felt every word of her like a hit from a blaster. He shivered, his daughter believed he was dead? Tenel Ka turned around and left, without throwing a look back.

"I´m sorry," he muttered again, but she ignored it. Jacen just sat there and cried as sadness overcame him. He wished he had died on the Anakin Solo, he wished he had died on Mykr, he wished none of this had ever happened.

His family was right, he wasn´t the boy they loved. he was just a monster they had imprisoned cause they didn´t want to become like him. He saw the dead before him and they all told him that they all would be alive if he had just died as a child.

"Jacen?" He opened his eyes and saw Gaven standing above him. The older Jedi had a worried expression on his face and put one of his hands on Jacens shoulder.
"Another bad dream?" He asked in a silent voice.

Jacen nodded. "It's getting more worse every day."

Gaven sighted. "Well, my father always taught me that it has to become worse to become better." Jacen wished he could share Gavens optimism.

"Why?" he suddenly asked.

"What?" Gaven asked him, a bit confused.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you so friendly? Why do you keep insisting there is still something good in me? My family my friends everyone in the galaxy seems to hate me, everyone except for you! Why?"

"Do you really believe they hate you? Do you think Luke would have sent you on this mission if he didn't believe that there is something you can do?"

This surprised Jacen, he had asked himself before why Luke had send him here but he never had that thought. Gaven sat down on the edge of Jacens bed.
"But to answer your question. I believe there is still something good in you cause I can feel it. The time in your cell has weakened your force powers, and I can hear your thoughts through the force sometimes, you are feeling guilty Jacen Solo. And no Sith feels that way, and I know you wish you could find redemption for your crimes."

"I don´t deserve redemption," Jacen answered.

Gaven looked at him and Jacen could see the sadness in his eyes. "Maybe that's true, but I don´t believe it. But even when there is no chance for you to find redemption, what would you do?"
Jacen was confused. "What would I do?"

Gaven nodded. "Just think for a short moment this whole mission wouldn´t exist. Imagine you could go anywhere you want and do whatever you like. What would you do?"

And Jacen understood. "I would try to do something to make up for my crimes, even if I knew it wouldn´t be enough."

The older Jedi smiled at him.
"The Jedi of the old republic believed that when someone once began to follow the dark path there was no turning back. But I know that isn´t true. The path of light will be always there for us to follow, no matter how deep we fall."

"How do you know that?" Jacen asked him.

"Cause I´ve fallen too. " Gaven said quietly.

Before Jacen could ask another question Nev entered the room.
"Have you slept well?"

Gaven nodded. "I have and I think Jacen also feels a bit better now." Jacen was surprised that Gaven was right with that. He could feel something inside him he hadn´t felt for many years: Hope. Nev looked at them. "Well I´m a bit afraid to tell you that but outside there is a Storm." Gaven shivered for a moment.

"Our land speeder?"

Nev smiled at them. "I´ve already drove it into cover yesterday after you went to sleep." She turned to Jacen. "On Darvin we have periodic storms that basically destroy everything that isn´t build on a strong foundation, but no need to worry we are safe here. But I guess you will have to stay for the next days until the storm has ended." She explained to him.

"That won´t be so bad," Gaven assured her. "I will have to look deeper into the archives about this Sith academy on Learan. Maybe I will find something that can help us."

They left the room together and Jacen felt a bit better while they held breakfast in the room they had their discussion the evening before.

Gaven was right he knew, it doesn't mattered if he could still earn redemption for his sins or not, nothing prohibited him to try.

He had done his grandfathers mistakes, he thought, but in his last moments Vader had left the dark side and returned to the light. Maybe he could do the same.

After their breakfast Gaven started to read in the archives while Nev dragged Jacen into a corner of the room where they sat down.

"Gaven is a good man you know?" she asked him.

"I know, a far better man I ever was." Jacen replied.

"Do you know what he was before he became a Jedi?"

"No he just told me that he had fallen once."

Nev nodded. "Yes he did. But he found his way back to the light." She felt silent for a moment, then she continued. "Gaven and I were born into one of the local tribes here on Darvin. Gaven was born in the year the first death star exploded over Yarvin, I followed him the year the second was destroyed. Our families where pretty close and so we quickly became friends. He was a good friend, he protected me from the other kids and was always there for me. We were both outsider because our families had joined the community not long before our birth.

One day, when Gaven was twelve our tribe was attacked. A group of pirates led by a dark Jedi killed most of our group and enslaved the rest. Gaven and I where the only survivors, he saved me that day. We managed to find refuge in another tribe but something had changed with Gaven.

Over the next five years he studied military tactics and learned to use weapons. He grew up to become a leader of soldiers, he began to train other people and formed a militia around him. He still looked out for me and was always there for me but he now tried to do the same for Darvin.

He protected the tribes and drove the pirates out, but he lost more and more of himself in the fight. Every friend who died at his side made him a bit colder. For the next almost ten years he continued his fight and his desire for vengeance grew.

He started to make harsher decisions and fought more ruthless. Then nine years ago a group of Jedi reached Darvin searching for the dark Jedi who had felt to this sector years ago and Gaven offered them an alliance. When they fought alongside him they saw how deep he had fallen and they showed him his mistakes, but he didn´t want to hear, because he believed it was the right thing to do.

But when we faced the dark Jedi and his men I was injured and Gaven had to decide between his revenge or saving me."

"And he saved you?" Jacen asked.

Nev nodded."Yes he left the fight to the Jedi and tended my wounds instead and later the Jedi offered him to become one of them. And he decided to go with them, to become a better person."

 

Lady Belligerent I´m really glad you like Gaven, its always a bit difficult to create likeable OCs.

Eight

"And he did." Jacen said. Nev nodded:
"Yes, I was sad that he left but I think he needed that. Spending time far away from here coming to terms with what he did. He even offered me to go with him, but it was his way not mine. I just hoped he wouldn´t die out there."
They sat there in silence while Gaven was still reading in the holographic archives. Jacen´s thoughts returned to his uncle, he asked himself how Luke had thought about Gaven when he joined the order. Had he believed Gaven had found his way to the light?
Or was he more suspicious about the new recruit? Jacen tried to remember if he had ever seen Gaven among the other Jedi. But he had been on his journey while Gaven had joined and after his return things had changed. But another question came to his mind:
Had Luke send Gaven with him because of his past?
Or was there another reason?
"Do you live here completely alone?" He asked Nev.
"Yes since Gaven left, the house belonged to my parents before they joined one of the tribes. They were initially colonists from the core, they came here to seek refuge from the wars there."
"Was it safer here?" Jacen asked. Nev shock her head: "Maybe. Yes there were pirates before Gaven crushed them, but here was no war. Pirates only attack you when you have something they want. In the core you can be killed just by living on the wrong planet or because of your opinion how to use an ancient force field."
"The Jedi didn´t kill innocents." Jacen assured her, but his voice wasn´t as strong as he wished. She shrugged:
"I don´t know much about this." She admitted. Jacen said nothing to this, when he had been a Jedi he would have assured her that the Jedi where only trying to help the galaxy and later after he learned more about the force he could have told her that the jedi where just one group beyond many.
But now?

He wasn´t a Jedi anymore and he had experienced where the part of the Sith would lead a man.
But now? He wasn´t sure about what he was.
He was just Jacen, nothing more.
"You have been in the war?" Nev suddenly asked him. Jacen nodded. The war. In the end everything returned to the war. He saw the burning forests of Kashyyyk before him, the battle of Fondor... The duel with Jaina.
Would he ever be able to forget this day?
The day brother and sister fought over the fate of the galaxy?
The day that should have been his last?
At least Jaina, wasn´t forced to kill me. He didn´t want to think about this, he couldn´t imagine how Jaina would have felt after it. Just by the thought that he also had tried to kill her he felt horrible. She is my sister I could never harm her.
But he knew that it wasn´t the truce any more. When they were younger they had been closer to each other than anyone in the galaxy. They had shared everything and Jaina had always helped him when he needed her help. He had done the same.
He remembered how they once found an old Tie fighter in the forests of Yarvin and how Jaina wanted to rebuild it. When he had been Jacen Solo a Jedi apprentice, the Son of Han and Leia, the brother of Anakin...

"Are you okay?" Nev asked him worried. Jacen nodded weakly: "Yes it just, I was thinking of what had been." "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
He shocked his head: "No, but Thanks."

"Jacen?" Gaven looked at them. "There is something I would like to show you." Jacen stood up and concentrated on the present. Gaven was still sitting before the table and analysing data. When Jacen approached him he smiled.
"I´ve read through most of the information's about Learan and I think I´ve recognized something. There was an expedition of Jedi to the planet almost a year before the clone wars started, we don´t know what they did there, but we know that one member of the expedition belongs to the Jedi whose death was never confirmed during the order 66. Maybe he knew about an outpost of the Jedi on Learan, or at least about the planet and how uncivilised it is. maybe he fled there after surviving the massacre on the Jedi and maybe other Jedi joined him."

"You think the outpost has already existed before the massacre?" Jacen asked him. Gaven shrugged:
"Maybe, we know that the old Jedi spend time there helping the locals against an epidemic. Maybe they wanted to keep a distance to their patients."
"Or they build it there to have an eye on the phaeron." Nev added.
"What is this phaeron?" Jacen asked them. Gaven shivered for a short moment. "Well you will see it when we are on Learan, it's not a topic I want to speak about now."
Jacen had a bad feeling about it. He knew Gaven as a man who has always very collected and still he seemed to fear even talking about this topic. It worried him but he didn´t asked further. "I guess this makes Learan even more likely to be the planet we are searching for." He said instead.
Gaven nodded, "Definitely, maybe it has nothing to do with the rumours about the Jedi enclave but I think we are on the right path. I will try to find some more about every time the Jedi where on Learan, maybe we can find a hint where on the planet we should search."

For a while the three of them sat together before the console and read more about the planet of Learan.
After a while Nev left the room to prepare a lunch for them and Gaven asked Jacen: "She told you about what I did before I became a Jedi, right?" Jacen nodded. "Since we are on this mission I´m thinking of it for most of the time. I´ve made some mistakes then, did some terrible things."
"You have changed." Jacen told him. "Yes, but it still haunts me sometimes." He keep silent for a moment than he said:

" Near the end of the our fight, when we fought alongside the Jedi, we searched for the main base of the pirates and we found out it was on Asterian. When we attacked them there, we realized that their base was a village. They were just normal colonists who had chosen to ally with a dark jedi out of desperation. Sure some of them liked it to kill but most of them weren´t really different from the men I lead against them. Some of them were just normal citizens who believed using a blaster made them soldiers. And we killed them. We stormed into their village an killed them."
He stopped for a moment and Jacen could feel how these moments still haunted him. When he continued his voice was flattering:

"When Nev and I entered a house, there was a girl, she was maybe sixteen years old and she cried. Nev tried to calm her down but she just continued crying and screaming that her parents were dead. Nev, she tried to get her out of the house and into safety but the girl draw a blaster a shoot at her. I still don´t know if she was planning to do that the whole time or just reacted in panic. I just saw how my best friend felt to the ground with a wound in her stomach and I fired, out of pure rage. I killed the girl and when she died I realized what I had become. I broke down next to them throwing my blaster away. I just sat there and cried while he fight continued around me. I will never forget the face of the girl. Then I realized that Nev was still alive, she had just tried to help this scared girl and I had reacted with violence. I carried her outside and away from the fight. She didn´t know what I did to the girl, I never managed to tell her."

Jacen saw that tears run across Gavens face. This time it was his hand that hold Gavens shoulder. After a while Gaven managed to calm himself down and continued:
"After that day I knew that I had to change my life. So I decided to become a Jedi to help others. And since then I´ve done my best to make up for my mistakes."
"And you did." Jacen assured him: "You are a good man."
Gaven smiled:
"And you can be one too, Jacen Solo."

For a time they sat there again in silence, than Jacen said:"Thanks."
Gaven looked at him: "What for?" "That you´ve come on this mission with me. That you help me although I don´t deserve it." Gaven laughed bitterly.
"Helping you is not the only reason I´m here right now. I couldn´t have stayed with the others Jedi at the moment." "Why?" Jacen asked him. When Jacen looked into Gaven eyes he could see sadness and anger.
"Kenth Hamner was my friend."

 

Lady Belligerent I´m glad you like that part.

Nine

Jacen sat inside of his cell, he assumed that he had spent almost two years in the small room since they imprisoned him here.
But it was hard to figure that out, he had no idea which time it was right know, he didn´t even know on which planet he was, if he even was on a planet at all. He had no idea what was happening outside of his prison, when he talked to the few visitors he had he managed to figure something out basically he had no idea what happened in the galaxy since the duel on the Anakin Solo.
He assumed that the Jedi had won the war completely although he didn´t know how long the fighting continued after his official death.

He asked himself what had become of Tahiri. Was she killed or had the Jedi captured her as well? Jacen felt ashamed about what he did to her but, in contrast to his other crimes... sometimes he asked himself how the galaxy was thinking about him these days.
But of course he knew that most beings considered him an evil Sith Lord, a monster who died a well deserved dead at the hands of his sister.

He asked himself what had become of those who followed him, the soldiers who committed crimes in his name. Were they pardoned or did they had to face trials?
Jacen didn´t know. The only thing he knew was that he would spend the rest of his life in this cell.
"Jacen?" a voice called his name and he lifted his head to see who visited him. Jaina entered the room through the heavy durasteel door that marked the end of his world.
She wore her flight suit, like she did most of the time she visited him. She was alone, as always. During all the months only his parents had visited him together.
The other, Luke, Jaina and, once, Tenel Ka had come alone.
"Jaina." Jacen said in a quiet tone, he wasn´t sure how he should behave around her. In another life she had been his sister, his best friend and he had been hers.
They were so close that it was hard for them to be separated, he remembered how he had felt after they fought against each other in the Shadow Academy, there the Sith had created illusions to trick them into fighting.

And later they had done the same, but this time the whole galaxy burned for it. Jaina approached him and sat down on the small bench before the transparisteel window. They looked at each other and once again Jacen wasn´t sure which emotions he could see in the eyes of his sister.
In another life Jacen Solo had been so close to his sister that he could sense her emotions and even sometimes felt her thoughts. But now everything had changed. During Jainas first visit here she had asked him a single question.
"Why?"
And Jacen didn´t know the answer.
"I had a vision. The galaxy was burning, I tried to..." his voice had cracked, his entire body had shivered and tears had filled his eyes. He had started a galactic war, that killed billions of beings and now he couldn´t even say why.
"I´m sorry. I´m so sorry."
These were the only words he was able to say. He had only wished she had killed him, that her lightsaber cut through his chest and ended his life. Darth Caedus had deserved this fate.
Jaina had said nothing she had just stared at the broken man who once had been her beloved brother. Then she had left, and Jacen stayed alone in the darkness of his cell.
Since then she had visited him several times, more often than everyone else. Jacen didn´t know why, maybe the Jedi knew that he preferred talking to her and told her more than the others. Or maybe his parents just didn´t wanted to see him and Jaina visited him in their place.
"You have a new arm." She pointed out while she sat before his cell.
He nodded weak, after Tenel Ka had left his cell he had raged out and slammed his robotic arms against the walls of his cell until it broke completely. The pain was been horrible but the pain Tenel Ka brought on him had been ten times worse.

Shortly afterwards someone, he assumed Luke had narcotized him and removed the rests of his robotic prosthetic. Instead he now had a new one, resembling the one his uncle wore.
It looked and felt more like a real arm than the one he had before.
"Jaina." he began, "I´m sorry." he didn´t know how many times he had said that to her but he still felt it wasn´t enough. "I know." She answered but he couldn´t feel any emotions in her voice.
"Why?" This time it was his voice who asked this question. It was the first time since he asked her about his daughter that he asked her something. "What?" Jaina asked "
Why you haven´t you killed me?" He asked her and used all courage left in him to keep his voice from breaking. Jaina kept silent for a moment. Then she said:
"For a short moment I felt the real Jacen returning, for a short moment the boy I loved as a brother was there on the bridge of the ship."

Jacen awoke and found himself again in the small room in Nevs house on Darvin. Gaven stood in the entrance and looked at him. "Did I wake you?" the older Jedi asked him.
Jacen shock his head. "You slept better this night." Gaven pointed out, "I felt you where less disturbed, than last night."

"You are watching over me when I sleep?" Jacen asked him. "No, but in the last night I could feel your pain through the force, it awoke me and I came here to look after you." Jacen once again realized how much Gaven cared about him.
He had a harsh childhood but despite that he managed to become a great Jedi and mine was wonderful and I became a monster.
He felt bad about this for a moment.

Then he stood up and followed Gaven back into the main room, they had spent the last two days in. After a short breakfast he and Gaven returned to the main console. "I´ve tried to get access to the data about the activities of Jedi on Learan during the epidemic but I realized it didn´t exists. This leaves two possibilities, either the data was lost during the great Jedi purge, or the Jedi deleted it beforehand." Jacen though about this for a moment:

"When the Jedi deleted it before the purge they might have tried to hide something about it. Like an hidden outpost." Gaven nodded: "I´ve came to the same conclusion. Then I looked a bit deeper about the academy the Sith had build there: It was build by some of Revans and Malaks followers after Malaks death and Revans disappearance. They hoped to hide there from the Jedi. But they were quickly discovered by the Jedi and the republic destroyed the academy. As far as I know not a single Sith survived the destruction. Today from the academy are only ruins left, here."
He pointed on a promontory at one continent, that laid a bit separated from the others on the southern half of the planet. "This continent is only inhabited by a few small nomadic tribes and there is basically no civilization. No spaceports or settlements."

"And it's the place the phaeron stands." Nev added, Jacen turned to her and saw a worried expression on her face. Gaven nodded. "Yes, I guess we can say that the enclave is somewhere there. I don´t think its directly among the ruins of the academy, but it won´t be far away from them." "So we will look there?" Jacen asked him.

"Yeah, when he storm has ended we return to the spaceport and try to find a ship. I hope we can rent one there, but I´m worried that someone might follow us."
Jacen´s thoughts returned to the Lost Sons. He knew they would be able to follow them to Learan if they believed it was worth a try. My demons were still haunting us. He felt pity for these men, they had followed him into the war, they had killed on his orders and stayed loyal to him until the end. And all he had given to them was a miserable life out here. Gaven deactivated the holo.
"I guess we will see how we get there when we return to the spaceport. I have a few ideas that might help us to avoid being detected. But now all we can do is stay here and wait until the storm ends."

 

Lady Belligerent I´m relived you like them. There will be some more.

Ten

Jacen sat in the seat of the co-pilot and looked down on the world below him.
Learan was a dark world, at least it seemed so from his perspective.
The Oceans where dark and the continents between them weren´t much brighter. Nev sat right next to him and piloted the ship down to the planet.
Jacen was surprised how skilled she was, she didn´t reached his sisters level but he assumed that in another life she might have become a part of the Rouge squadron.
Gaven, who had admitted he had absolutely idea how to fly a spaceship stood behind them. They had spent almost a week in the house on Darvin until the storm had ended, according to Nev it had been a very average storm.

She claimed that she once had experienced a storm that lasted for an entire month. Jacen wasn´t sure if he could believe this but he had to admit that the storm on Darvin were different from the any other he had experienced before.
After the end of the storm Nev had told them, that she intended to accompany them to Learan. Gaven had been against this and he had tried to talk his friend out of it but Nev had remained stubborn and even Gaven couldn´t deny that she knew more about Learan than he did.
Jacen wondered why Nev knew all this, from what she told him he assumed that after Gaven left she spent pretty much all of her time in her home.
But he hadn´t asked her.

They had returned to the spaceport and found it emptier than when they left. The Lost Sons were gone the locals had told them. Nobody knew to which planet they went but it seemed that they believed to be close to finding the Jedi enclave. This news had worried them and Gaven had bought the first spaceship that was offered to them. It was an old freighter that had its best time probably in the time when the old republic was on the height of its power.
The price for it had been so high that Jacen didn´t believed it at first. But Gaven had paid it and they had left Darvin in a haste.

"Did you recognize anything on the sensors?" Gaven asked Nev. She shook her head: "I can´t see any ships around here, the orbit is empty."
"And the system?" Nev took another look at the display before her. "I can´t see anything, but I won´t give much on these scanners." Jacen felt how Gaven relaxed a bit:
"I guess they are not here. So we have still time." Jacen nodded. It relived him that they wouldn´t meet the Lost Sons on the planet. A part of him hoped he would never see them again. But another, stronger part still wished he could do something for them. "Can you feel it?" Gaven asked him suddenly. "What?"

"The darkness." Jacen closed his eyes for a moment and opened himself in the force. He could fell the planet below him and the dark side. Not very strong but still present, "Yes. It feels like the planet is filled with hate. Not very much but it's there. An old hatred." Gaven nodded: "Yeah Learan was never a friendly place to live. It isn´t to the extent of Korriban or Ziost but have the feeling that something is down there."
"Have you ever been on the surface?" Jacen asked him. "Twice once when I was younger during the fight against the pirates and one time directly before I left to become a Jedi."
Nev turned around: "You have been here a second time? Why?" Gaven sat nothing to this for a time while the planet came closer.

"Because I had something to do there."
That was all he said about it and Nev didn´t asked further. Gaven turned to Jacen: "When we are there, the dark side will be stronger than it is now, especially when we reach the ruins of the temple. Are you sure you can withstand it? Or would you prefer to stay at the shuttle?"
Jacen thought about this, he had asked himself the same question. Was he strong enough? He had managed to break away from the dark side of the force but he didn´t know what would happen if he faced it again. But he also knew that he had to do this, maybe Gaven would need his help on the planet and Jacen wouldn´t let him and Nev go there alone.
He had wished for a chance to atone for his sins and he wouldn´t ignore it. "I´m coming with you." he told them. Gaven smiled: "I knew you would. When it becomes too hard for you tell me and I will help you." he threw a look at Nev, "we will help you." Nev nodded in approval. Jacen turned to Gaven:
"Just thank you, both of you. If I should fall..."
"You won´t fall." Gaven assured him.

When they left the shuttle Jacen felt the oppressive air around them. It was warm, not hot but entire absence of wind made it harder. He felt the energy of the dark side around him, it had become stronger the closer they came to the planet.
Gaven stood beside him and together they watched in the valley below them. Brown grass grew everywhere down there and in the middle of it a small creek streamed down into the lower regions of the valley and further in the planes behind it.
No living creature was in sight and Jacen couldn´t feel anything in the force apart from the three humans and the omnipresent dark side. He took a breath of the air and he could nearly feel the darkness in it.

"Does all this hatred come from the ruins of the academy?" he asked Gaven, the older Jedi shook his head. "No, the hate was always here. I think that's the reason the old Sith tried to build the academy here. It corrupts everyone who stays here for longer and the locals are more aggressive than on other worlds in the galaxy."
"Has it something to do with this Phaeron you mentioned?" Gaven nodded: "Yes." He said nothing more but Jacen felt that Gaven knew more than he wanted to tell. "What is your strategy to find the enclave?" Jacen asked him while Nev left the shuttle and came to them.
"Well I thinks its best when we visit the ruins of the academy. There the dark side is stronger than anywhere else on the planet. I´m not sure if the enclave will be there but I think it would be a good idea to look there first. Maybe the Jedi left a hint there that can lead us to them. If not I will mediate there and try to look through the darkness, maybe I will even open myself in the force for a short moment maybe this will make them recognizes us as Jedi. If this doesn't lead to anything we will search in the territory surrounding the ruins, we may even ask the locals for help."
"And the Phaeron?" Nev asked him: "You said the Jedi might wanted to keep an eye on it, maybe they are there." "Let's hope they're not. I hope we don´t need to come close to this place, but you are right. Maybe we´ll have to."

Jacen had another thought: "When the dark side corrupts anyone around here, might it be that the Jedi were corrupted as well?"
Gaven nodded: "We can´t out rule that. But I think the Jedi knew about this influence. They spend three months here to help the locals against the epidemic, maybe they have found a way to shield themselves against it." For a moment they stood there in silence, then Jacens asked: "How far is it from here to the academy?"
Nev answered him: "It's not very far, I landed here to avoid someone to notice us. I guess I´ve we go now, we can be there before the evening."

She started to walk down the side of the valley in the direction of the stream. Jacen followed her, down in a world filled with old hatred.

 

Lady Belligerent, Thanks for the beta.

Eleven

The academy lay in ruins, the massive orbital fire of the republic fleet had destroyed most of the structure and left only one of the outer walls.
The rest was nothing but a pile of crushed stone. Jacen didn´t know if the republic destroyed the place from the orbit while the Sith were still inside or if they cleaned the place before destroying it. He guessed that if Jedi were among them, they had at first tried to turn the Sith back to the light. He turned to Gaven:

"You feel it too?" The older Jedi nodded: "Yes the dark side. It´s strong here, I felt like the Sith that lived here were still around. I´ve read once that the ghost of Sith sometimes stick in this world on a place where they lived and used the dark side. Maybe it´s the case here."
Jacen had read the same once.
Would my ghost have stayed on board the Anakin Solo if Jaina had killed me? His thoughts returned to the ship. It had been his headquarter during the war, the place from which he had commanded the Guard of the galactic Alliance. The same men that called themselves now the Lost Sons. Jacen concentrated on the present, he couldn´t allow himself to think about it now, not here. Nev approached them:
"Well I guess you haven´t found anything yet?" Gaven shook his head: "No, but I think the enclave won´t be that easy to find. We should split up and look through the ruins of the academy, maybe the jedi left a hint or something like that."
"And what could it this hint be?" Nev asked him. "I don´t know, basically anything, just look for something that you find strange or remarkable. We should stay in contact with each other and don´t separate us too far."

He turned to Jacen: "If the dark side becomes too strong, please tell me. I don´t know what will happen there." Jacen nodded and the three approached the ruins.
Jacen started climbing, the academy was build of a dark stone that made most of the mountains on Learan. He searched for something that wouldn´t fit in here but the only things he saw, were crushed stone and the plants that grew in the cracks. He could feel the dark side around him but he protected his mind against it, like his uncle had taught him many years ago.
He pulled himself on top of the next rock looked around. He had reached one of the highest points on the ruins and he could see Gaven and Nev below him. When he turned around he saw something, a piece of metal, some feet below him. He tried to see more but he couldn´t recognize it.
Jacen started to climb down to it.
When he reached it he was surprised, it was a lightsaber and it looked new. This thing isn´t here since the days of Darth Revan.

Then when he picked it up a shivering went through him, the lightsaber looked and felt exactly like his. This was impossible, how could his lightsaber had come here.

"There you are." A familiar voice said behind him. Jacen turned around and saw Mara Jade walking towards him. Her eyes were filled with pure hate.
"Are you still pretending to do the right thing?" Jacen closed his eyes for a second and opened them again. Mara was still there.

"You are dead." His voice was nothing more than a whisper. He felt how his whole body started to shiver. Mara laughed: "Of course I am you have killed me." "I´m sorry." Jacen tried to answer.
"For what? That you betrayed the Jedi? That you killed me? That you tried to turn my son to the dark side? That you slaughtered countless of innocents? That you became even worse than the emperor? That you survived instead of being killed by your sister. You are a monster, Darth Caedus."
Jacen broke down on his knees tears started to run over his face. He felt the guilt overcame him. then he remembered Gaven and what he said to him:
"I´m not Caedus anymore." Mara laughed again.
"Who told you that? This slaughterer, who calls himself a Jedi? I guess he says that to himself every morning, so that he can live with what he has done. He is nothing more than a hypocrite."
"Gaven is my friend. He is a good man." Jacen responded. "Your friend? You don´t have friends. Monsters don´t have friends. One day you will turn against him, and you will kill him. You kill everyone next to you."

Jacen said nothing he just felt the desperation inside him and anger. "Why are you doing this? Pretending to be a better person than you are?
Do you really believe you will find atonement for your sins, that your family will forgive you someday. You are a monster, nothing more and someone needs to put you down."
Mara activated her lightsaber: "This is for my son, you piece of sithspawn."
Then she attacked him, he last thing he saw was her lightsaber blade.

When he awoke he found himself on the Anakin Solo, he stood there on the bridge completely alone.
He didn´t know if everything just had been a dream, or a vision. He felt the pain inside of his wounds but he managed to hold it back with his senses. When he looked outside of the panorama window he could see the battle going on outside of the ship.

His com awoke and Darth Caedus activated it. "Sir!" It was the voice of one of his officers but he didn´t knew his name. "Sir reinforcements have arrived. We are driving the Jedi back." Caedus smiled: "Good. Crush their fleet and let not a single one of them escape." He ended the communication. He looked around the bridge, along the destruction.
He looked at every corner of it, with the exception of the floor directly before him, because he knew what he would see there and he feared it:

The corpse of his sister. He couldn´t step away from it but he didn´t managed to look at it either. He could feel the guilt in him. He had killed her, the person in the galaxy that he was closer too than anyone else. She had tried to stop him, and now she was dead.
Jacen felt the pain inside him, it was as had he killed a part of himself too. He broke down next to her corpse and hold her in his arms. And he cried. Then he remembered the reason he killed her:
Allana, she was still in danger and he had to protect her. He was her father. He stood up and tried to leave the bridge but before he reached the elevator it opened and a Jedi entered the bridge. He wore an heavily damaged armour and wielded a blue lightsaber.
"Not so fast traitor."
"Gaven?" Jacen,
"How do you managed to get here?"

"I came here with the son of the woman you murdered. he tried to save your apprentice from herself, but she killed him. So I had to avenged him, and now it's time for you to pay."
"Please Gaven. I have to go." Jacen begged him.
"There is only one place where you go today, to hell." Gaven attacked him and Jacen had to jump back to evade the hit. He activated his own lightsaber and defected Gavens next attack.
He knew he must kill the jedi quickly if he wanted to save his daughter. He started a series of attacks but Gaven managed to block them all. He was stronger than Jacen thought.
But that wouldn´t save him. Jacen threw Sith lightings at his foe and Gaven had to protect himself with his lightsaber.

He let go of his hatred, he wanted nothing more than to kill this man. Jacen saw how Gaven became weaker and his defence started to break. "Force protect me." Gaven said as he was driven back. Jacen felt how his victory came closer, this Jedi wouldn´t stop him, he was too strong.
Killing Gaven would be the last step, after it he would save his daughter and together they would bring peace to the galaxy.
He was Darth Caedus and it was his destiny.

 

Lady Belligerent, Sinrebirth Thanks for the likes.
I hope you, and everyone else, enjoy this chapter.

Twelve

"Jacen!"
The bridge was gone. They had left the Anakin Solo.
Above him he could saw a dark sky but the man before him was the same.
He is your enemy, you must kill him.
A voice said into his head. Gaven tried to hold him on the ground but Jacen started to struggle against him. "Jacen!" Gaven shouted at him, "Whatever you have seen it isn´t real."
He lies, he wants to kill you.
His own will awoke. Why should Gaven want to do that?
He is your enemy. The voice said again. "Jacen, please." Gaven looked at him sorrowful, horrified. "I want to help you."
Lies, Lies.
No, Gaven was his friend.
You have no friends you are a Sith.
With a blow of the force Jacen pushed Gaven away from him. The older Jedi jumped back and raised his hands: "I am not your enemy."
He is a Jedi, he wants to kill you. Jacens fist slammed into Gavens face, he stumbled back.
He is a threat to the galaxy, you must kill him. No, he knew Gaven was a good man.
He murdered a child, he isn´t your friend. Gaven threw himself on Jacen and he tried to hold him down. "Jacen the dark side controls you, you have to fight."
There is no control the dark side gives you freedom. This voice wasn´t his, he shouldn´t follow its commands.
I am a part of you, you are a part of me.
No he was Jacen.
You are Darth Caedus, the dark lord of the Sith.
He tried to push Gaven away a second time but this time the older Jedi reacted quicker.
He threw Jacen to the ground. Jacen felt the grass below him as he gasped for air. "Don´t forget who you are." Gaven begged him.
You are a Sith Lord.
No he was a Jedi.
You are a traitor the other Jedi despise you.
Gaven believed in him.
He just tries to fool you. He is a liar.
Gaven slammed his fist into his face: "Come to your senses, you are Jacen Solo the brother of Jaina."
She almost killed you, she isn´t your sister. "The son of Han and Leia." The fist hit him a second time.
They hate you, they´ve told your daughter you are a monster, they told your sister she should kill you. Gaven hit him a third time:
"The father of Allana."
"Don´t call her name!"
Jacen shouted and slammed his fist into Gavens stomach. The older Jedi let go of him and fell behind. "Jacens please." Nev tried to calm him down. Jacen shoved her away with a force push, she flew two meters and landed on the ground. Gaven came back on his feet: "Jacen! It´s not real. You are strong fight against it."
Why fight the truth? You are me and I am you. We are Caedus. It´s your destiny.
No, he wasn´t a Sith anymore.
You are and you always will be.
Not as long as he lived, he had fallen once he wouldn´t fall a second time.
There is no fall, it´s just who you are.
He was a Jedi.
No you are a Sith.

Gaven threw himself on him a third time. The older man used the forced to hold Jacen on the ground. Jacen struggled against it as but the real battle took place in his head.
"Remember who you are!" Gaven shouted.
He remembered, he was a student in the Jedi temple he and his best friends were Jedi and they knew they would never fall to the dark side.
But you have fallen, you have fallen.
he fought in the Vong war, he took part in the mission to Mykr, with his friends.
They are not your friends, you have no friends.
He had saved the galaxy.
And they didn´t care.
He had tried to end the swarm war.
And they hated you for it.
He had turned to the dark side...
You have embraced what you are. ...
to save the galaxy.
He had fought a duel on the Anakin Solo.

He returned to the fight.
He stood there his blade in his hand and shielded himself against the lighting.
"I have to do this." Caedus begged him.
But Jacen ignored him. He was a Jedi and he would end the terror of Caedus, his rule, today. He raised his sword and reflected the lighting.
"Please I just want to save my daughter." Caedus pleaded him.
"She doesn´t belong to you." Jacen answered.
"She is my child." The Sith Lord shouted, "I must save her."
"You brought her into this, it´s your fault." He saw how Caedus started to cry and strength his attacks. "You can´t control her and you can´t control me."
"I am a part of you." "Maybe you were but not anymore." Jacen slammed his sword at Caedus and the lighting ended.
"I will always be here. You need me."
"Not anymore." Jacen attacked Caedus who was stumbling back before him.
"You know what will happen. The galaxy will burn."
"Maybe, but I won´t let you set her one fire again." Jacen drove the Sith back, to the part of the deck were Jainas corpse laid.
"Allana will die. I am the only one who can protect her."
"You nearly killed her, I nearly killed her." They had reached his sisters corpse and they fought next to it. "You are strong, stronger than I thought." Caedus laughed. Jacen answered:
"No you were weak, once you had everything, once I had everything, but I´ve lost it all. That's where the dark side leads us."
"And you think doing some good thinks will get you back what you have lost?" Caedus grinned at him.
"No," Jacen lowered his blade.
"But it´s worth trying." With this he slammed his lightsaber against Caedus. His blade cut directly into Caedus hearth at the same point Jainas lightsaber hit him. The Sith broke down to his knees:
"No! I am a part of you. You need me. I need you."
"Go to hell."
Caedus broke down on the floor.

Jacen opened his eyes.
The voice was gone. He was laying on the ground. Jacen looked around. He wasn´t in the academy any more, instead he laid on the grass almost a click away from it.
"He is gone." he muttered, "Caedus, he is gone." Gaven stood above him and looked at him worried. "Gaven" He said in a weak voice,
"I´m sorry. I wasn´t strong enough." Gaven shook his head: "No, you are strong. You´ve managed to overcome it." Nev stood next to Gaven and looked at him worried.
Gaven offered Jacen his hand and pulled him back on his feet. "Nev. I´m sorry for attacking you." She shook her head: "That wasn´t you."
"It was me a part of me. He was always there, but the dark side let him return. And now he is gone." He realized it while he spoke it out loud, whatever was left of Caedus inside him was dead now. He was just Jacen.
Just a... What?
He knew the answer.
He was a Jedi. Again a Jedi.

He turned to Gaven and Nev.
"What has happened?" He asked them.
"Shortly after we began our search Gaven started to talk to someone who wasn´t there." Nev told him. "I approached him but he didn´t react, so I decided to hit him in the face." "It helped,"
Gaven continued, "I awoke and knew that we should find you. You had already lost your consciousness when we found you. I couldn´t wake you up and so we dragged you outside, then suddenly you started to scream and attacked both of us."
"I´m sorry." Jacen said again. "It's not your fault. I shouldn´t have let you go with us in this ruins. I must have known that this would happen. But I was so sure there was nothing of Caedus left inside of you." He there in silence.
"You are a good man and you had faith in me. More than I deserved."
"And I was right with that. You haven´t forgotten who you are, and you have faced your dark side." "Without your help, I hadn´t." Jacen answered. Gaven smiled: "That's what I´m here for." "Any other Jedi would have killed me." Gaven laid his hand on Jacens shoulder:
"Not any other Jedi, your sister had spared you as well. She and I we both know that even the best Jedi can fall to the dark side, but there is always hope for him to return to the light." For a moment they stood there in silence. Than Jacen asked:
"Do you think I can be a Jedi, again?"
Gaven smiled at him:
"You already are I suppose, it´s an honour to call you brother again."
Jacen smiled back: "The honour is all mine."