Saga - ST Don't Be Afraid - Kylo/Rey

Title: Don't Be Afraid

Characters: Kylo Ren and Rey- Could be considered Reylo but I wasn't focused on that.

Summary: Kylo Ren and Rey come face to face for the first time since their battle on Starkiller Base.

Notes: I used to write here a lot under a different pen name but haven't written anything since around 2009. The Force Awakens and in particular Kylo Ren revived my love for Star Wars once again so I felt a need to get this out of my system. I love how human and flawed he is. Hope you enjoy.


He could barely look at her as she crouched in the corner of the cold metal cell he'd had her put into. His men had caught and escorted her to the ship hours ago but it had taken him this long to bring himself to face her. The first time since they'd crossed sabers on Starkiller Base.


She'd won that battle but only because he'd been severely weakened by blood loss from the laser bolt he'd taken in the side from the Wookiee's crossbow. Plus the fact that his master had demanded he bring her before him. Alive. A sharp stab of grief briefly contorted his features before he forced the look of love and betrayal on his father's face and the roar of grief torn from the Millenium Falcon's copilot to the deep recesses of his mind and heart.


Yet another sign of his continued weakness, his master would admonish him. The bouts of doubt seemed to plague him even more these days. No matter how hard he tried to kill any remnants of the man he used to be. Had Han Solo's death been in vain after all?


Torn apart he'd told the smuggler. Even more so now.


A quiet noise forced his thoughts back to the present and to yet an even greater disturbance to his peace of mind.


Rey. The scavenger orphan.


She was staring at him from beneath lowered lashes, her beautiful features tightened as she realized his attention was once again focused on her. Her chin tilted up defiantly as she met his gaze full on, lips firming in anger. That face had haunted him from the moment he'd met her and the pull he couldn't explain only grew stronger the more time he spent in her presence. She was an unwanted and confusing distraction he couldn't afford.


There was no denying the force flowed through her in incredibly strong but untrained waves. Pure.The failed mindprobe had unlocked something untapped deep inside her. He'd felt her powers unfurl, felt her presence hum throughout his body in burning tendrils. It was something he had no words for. No experience to match. His mind shied away from the word that echoed through his mind.


Bond.


His feet propelled him forward a step before his mind was even conscious of the decision to do so. She slowly stood and braced herself for an attack, shoulders pulling back in anticipation. When he made no further move to approach and only stared intently, her brows drew together in puzzlement as the tense silence spun out between them. Had he expected anything else? How could he after she had seen him at his worse. His weakest. A monster she'd spat at him with such loathing.


A monster.


Unsure why, he'd removed his mask before entering the cell and now found himself regretting the decision as her sharp gaze traveled thoroughly over his bare features. She was too intelligent for her own good was his initial thought, until he began to notice a subtle weakening of her defenses. Curious he grew deathly still as he noted the telltale signs she was unwittingly displaying.

Her gaze froze as it settled on the long scar that ran across his face. A reminder of the fierce battle they'd fought in the bitter cold. A badge of dishonor he was forced to carry for the remainder of his days. Hux's eyes had glistened with glee and disgust when he'd first glimpsed the wicked wound, the same look that no doubt would be mirrored in the girls.


Only it wasn't. Her eyes seemed to reflect a confused mixture of guilt and sorrow and her lips opened on a ragged inhale of breath. His lungs froze as her hand lifted, fingers trembling as if she fought the desire to trace the raised edges of the damage she'd inflicted. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her internal struggle. He longed to know what thoughts flew through her mind as she studied him but he dare not subject either of them to another probe. Her expressive features flitted between a myriad of emotions before settling behind a mask of cool indifference and rebellion.


"I thought after our last meeting mine would be the last face you wanted to see," she spoke in a quiet voice laced with derision.


It stung. The reminder of how this girl, this untrained scavenger had beaten him down as if he were the callow padawan. He'd paid for his abject failure tenfold. Weak, exhausted, his blood a crimson stain on blinding white snow. His defeat at her hands had paled in comparison to what had laid in store for him once his wounds healed enough for him to stand and face Snoke for the first time. Unimaginable pain.


A choked gasp of anguish snapped his attention back to his guest. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she stared at him in mute horror. Was that a feather light brush he felt through his mind? Impossible.


"What is that?" she whispered, a thread of fear finally coloring her voice.


He refused to answer. Couldn't provide her with an explanation because he was as lost as she was. They were both standing on ground just as treacherous as they had that day in the snow. Both in grave danger of tumbling off that cliff to an unknown fate. His silence seemed to flame a spark of anger, her teeth gritting as she took an abrupt step toward him.


"How could you? What kind of monster can look his father in the eyes and kill him so brutally? So coldly?!"


Rage colored his words as he forced them from between clenched teeth. "You know nothing about me. About him. How long were you with him? A few hours? Days? You bought into the myth, the legend. Just like everyone else. He was weak and a stranger. Don't you, an orphan, think to judge me!"


The force of his anger seemed to force her back a step. Stubborn innocence had her speaking further.


"He was your father. Family. Blood. I've met your mother. Do you have no idea just how lucky you were? People who loved and cared for you? I would have given everything to have that."


Blinded by the anguish her words incited his feet carried him forward until her back hit the wall and she was well and truly cornered.


"If anyone should understand I'd think it would be you. Orphaned at such a young age on that barren planet. Left behind as if you were no more important then a piece of garbage. The people who were supposed to care for you, love you, taking off without a backwards glance." His chest rose and fell as he allowed her to see what was in his eyes. "They cared about their own interests more then they did me. An inconvenience. That's what we were to them. Different set of parents yet the same result."


She stared up at him mutely, a negative shake of her head halting before it could even be completed. His anguished words hung thickly between them as they locked eyes. The silence became uncomfortable and the tremors that shook his body had him moving away until he dropped down to sit on the hard cot as far from her as he could get. When she finally spoke again it was in a hushed and subdued voice that barely carried across the small room.


"What now? What are you going to do with me? What do you want?"


A humorless chuckle slipped through his lips as he stared at her in confusion.

I wish I knew little scavenger. Force help me I wish I knew.

 

Wow. Excellent little story! I love the tumultuous confusion that they both feel, and the undeniable link, as Force users, that they can't deny. You've managed to steer clear of the over- sentimental Reylo trope and taken this much, much deeper. Here are two people who have no family ( she due to them leaving her, he due due to him leaving them), who are both trying to stay in control of their fears and build their own destinies, and both acutely aware of what will happen if they go wrong.

She has literally left her mark on him for the rest of his life. He's struggling to figure out what her connection to her actually is. The neat thing the story does, too, is show how Kylo's hubris has been splintered and broken. From the man who presumes that he can teach her, to the helpless fallen warrior whose red blood stains the white snow. He doesn't know who HE is anymore either. Rey has shattered the illusion that he is in control of anything.

 

Thanks so much for the feedback! I agree 100% that Rey really had some type of impact on Kylo from the get go. Not necessarily romantically but I feel there is something there that intrigues him. Very interested to see how that plays out in the next two films. I for one hope he finds redemption somehow.

 

It never occurred to me that Kylo Ren/ Ben would feel like an orphan, too. But I think in the back of my mind his character always gets mixed up with the "legendary Jacen Organa Solo", who had a twin sister and a little brother. Despite busy parents they had one another.

Now that I read your fic and reflected on it, I agree that something must have gone pretty wrong in Kylo´s/ Ben´s upbringing. So wrong that he sought out "the comfort" of the dark side of the Force.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention!

 

Thanks! I'm glad I could get at least one person to think a bit differently about him. I got the idea from one of the BlueRay extras where Adam Driver and JJ Abrams discuss how he was shipped off with his uncle, he had these incredible powers and two parents ill equipped to handle him so they sent him away and went about their business. Adam said that left him with a huge chip on his shoulder. I feel for the guy.

 

First of all, welcome back! If a single character could have inspired you to come back to writing, then it's good news - looking forward to more & definitely interested in the stuff you wrote under your old alias, if you're willing to give us all a heads-up.

This is so disturbing, yet so.good. I would not classify it as a Reylo, because their interactions are ambiguous and the story seems to be driven by parallels and opposites, as opposed to some genuine attraction; so calling it a Reylo would be oversimplifying it.

And I'm not sure if any of the observations in this story are intentionally symbolic, but that is what they seem like to me. At first, Kylo has Rey behind the bars, as a denial of everything they could be and everything their first encounter was. And then he sees every single attempt to actually analyse her in a way as a weakness. Is this his fear of Snoke speaking OR his fear of Rey herself?

This paragraph outright gave me chills. I can't quite figure out if Kylo is afraid of his master sensing the traces of Ben Solo still living in him; or if he had already reached the point where the depersonalisation is such that he calls his late father by his full name. Eeek!

More and more chills. The idea of the mindprobe actually helping Rey is something that seems plausible, yet I bet most of us never thought of it that way.

And then, she beats him with what mostly is indeed what he was afraid of - purity, kindness, the thoughts of family - all of the things that he wants to get rid of, forever.

Great comeback story & please, do write more.

 

Findswoman

Good insight! I hadn't even made that possible correlation between the two of them. Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to reply.


Ewok Poet


Kylo is so wonderfully unfinished I think that's why I adore the character. He's just beginning his journey and no where near complete like Vader was in the OT. We get to see the evolution of this character and I find that fascinating! Thank you for the reply and the kind words. All of my old work was hacked to death in the board moves so I hesitate to even mention my former work since they're unreadable.

 

There are ways to access it. I'll PM you later today.

 

That would be awesome! Thanks.

 

KyloFan
This is probably the best Kylo/Rey fic I've read in quite a while...! Most I find are way too reylo-ish for my tastes, and some are just so terribly written that I can't even read them. This one is quite true to established canon, and the fact that Rey and Kylo were both abandoned (Kylo not literally, of course) is something interesting that I hadn't thought of.

Sent from my LG-F350L using Tapatalk

 

Thanks so much! I have no issue with the Reylo shippers but I doubt that's where these two characters end up. I just don't know how that could work itself out. I do however think the two have some form of connection whether good or bad we'll have to wait and see. Glad you enjoyed my take and thanks so much for the reply.

 

I liked this. It was nice to get inside Kylo's head and see him still being conflicted. I lurk on here a lot and haven't logged in for a long time but this was worth a quick review.

"the Wookiee's crossbow" -- this jumped out at me because he obviously knew it was Chewie, someone who he grew up knowing, and was probably his dogfather or something. And you did it again later with him calling Han Solo by his full name, as opposed to "dad" or whatever.

I think you have a very good grasp of the character of Kylo Ren, so very well done!

It's nice to see old authors coming back because of the movies. I hope you write more in the Future!

 

Hey! Don't start the OLD remarks! Thanks for the reply. We all know how obsessed I am with this character.

 

So, so happy you're back! And what a wonderful showcase of your skills. I feel like you perfectly captured the confusion and fascination these two have with each other. I could feel every breath, every stare. Brilliant.

I hope you will continue to be inspired and write more.

In fact, I'm counting on it.

 

Shoo hop! You are back and as good as ever! Very well done.

I love the parallels you drew between Kylo and Rey.

 

Jaira

Aw thanks! They have a very interesting dynamic whatever it is. I enjoyed writing it a lot. As for writing more, your turn!!


Red

Thank you! And I eagerly await your return!

 

Beautifully written! I agree, Kylo Ren is a fascinating character! Struggling against the light and trying to reconcile this strange bond and draw he has with 'that scavenger orphan,' what will he do next? So much more to be written Great job.