Saga - ST The Dating Game - CCs and OCs - The Mods' Dare Challenge

Title: The Dating Game
Era: post RotJ
Genre: Humor
World: Canon
Characters: Leia, Han and Ben Solo,Lando Calrissian, Wes Janson and OCs
Synopsis: Lando and Wes Janson are participants on a reality gaming show
Warnings: None
Series: None
A/N 1: This is my Mod Dare Challenge
A/N 2: So, I’m not the kind of person that watches Reality Dating Shows so I had to do some research and decided to use the old reality show called ‘The Dating Game’ as a reference point since I think the show’s format is better suited for a shorter fic then a show like ‘the Bachelor’.

The Dare: Lando Calrissian or Wes Janson enters a reality dating show. I'm not putting any further stipulations on it.

Submitted by: @Mistress_Renata

A big, big thanks to both Ewok Poet and my Mom for reading this and giving invaluable insight.

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In their home on current capital of the Republic, Han and Leia cuddled on the couch in front of a HoloNet receiver with two-year-old Ben playing with stacking blocks on the floor.

“Please let Lando be on tonight. I don’t think I can handle a third night of watching people say suggestive things,” she informed her husband as she readjusted her position so she could see Ben playing on the floor.

“He will be,” Han answered with a smile. “He was really excited about the possibility of appearing on such a popular dating gameshow that wouldn’t involve over two dozen females vying for his affection.”

“That’s what you said last night,” Leia said annoyed.

From his place on the floor, Ben turned from his blocks and looked at her with wide eyes.

Leia mentally kicked herself for allowing her annoyance to slip through. She knew that Ben was extra sensitive. The emotions of a room or location had caused him distress more than once.

Several commercials played - advertising a brand of clothing detergent, an interplanetary restaurant, a new variation of a popular speeder model, an interplanetary clothing store that sold leather jackets, and then a local furniture builder.

Finally, Dahn Morse, the host of the show strutted onto the stage. He greeted the audience both in the studio and across the galaxy warning risqué questions and answers were allowed, so to ensure that young ears weren’t listening.

Ben levitated one of his blocks slightly off the floor and Leia smiled; she had fears for him but to see him trying to get her to smile warmed her heart.

“And here are our bachelors! Number One is Rendall Hosse, a 28-year-old Zabrak computer technician from the Ombri Military!” The first bachelor was revealed to the audience who smiled and waved to the crowd.

“Number Two is Morse Bohdi, a 30-year old Marine in the Ryloth Military.” Like bachelor one, the yellowish-green Twi’lek was revealed to the audience, but unlike Rendall Hosse he just nodded.

“And Number Three is Wes Janson, a 27-year-old Human pilot in the Taanab Navy.” The former Rebel X-Wing pilot smiled widely, showing off slightly crooked teeth and waved enthusiastically.

Leia bit back a groan at the thought of having to watch two more rounds of the stupid gameshow. She couldn’t understand how anyone could see any kind of reality dating gameshow as entertainment

“And here’s our bachelorette - 24-year-old Zahra Neill, a lovely Scáth from Scáthia! She’s a mixed martial artist and has her own martial arts training academy on Scáthia in Argrah. A very talented lady, she is known for her drop kick but maybe the lucky man will catch her off guard and get the drop on her,” Dahn Morse announced dramatically. A tall, stately woman walked out from backstage, with ash blonde hair and bright cyan eyes that sharply contrasted with her jet-black skin. Leia couldn’t decide if this made Zahra Neill look exotic or odd; but she was a Scáth and they were known for their shifting skin tones.

Ben chose that moment to abandon his blocks and crawl onto the couch next to her.

“Momma!” he said as he cuddled into her, radiating contentment.

“Hey Bandit!” Han said with a smile and he reached across her to ruffle Ben’s dark hair. Ben pulled away from Han, his contentment gone; replaced by unease.

“What’s wrong, Bandit?” Han asked Ben.

“You’re gone a lot; you make him nervous sometimes,” Leia said grateful that she had kept her bitterness about Han’s long absences out of her voice and well hidden behind her mental shields.

Leia used the excuse of cuddling with Ben to tune out the questions and answers, since last night’s episodes had been suggestive and she hadn’t been amused by them. She was only watching the Dating Game again tonight because she wanted to spend time with Han, who wanted to see how his old friend Lando would fair.

Han suddenly whistled low causing Leia to turn her attention away from Ben who was babbling back at the HoloNet display. On the display, Wes Janson was walking towards Morse and Zahra with a bright smile.

“Janson’s going on a date with a woman that could kill him with a finger. If he acts like a gentleman, he might survive the date,” Leia commented with a chuckle.

“Some women like it when a man tells them that they’re beautiful and pushes a little bit because it shows that he isn’t afraid of them. Besides, she’s wearing a form-fitting dress; she wants to be appreciated as a beautiful female.” Han said as he watched Janson and Neill walk off out of the sight of the camera droids.

Their outfits complimented each other.

While more advertisements ran, Leia retrieved Ben’s Wookiee doll from the floor and gave it to him.

“If Lando’s not in this section, I’m not watching another episode,” Leia grumbled.

“Uh-huh,” Ben said in agreement.

“It’s not that bad!” Han argued.

‘If you enjoy females asking males potentially embarrassing questions like ‘do or did you have pinups on your wall in your barrack live on HoloNet, or a male saying he looks at adult magazines or other suggestive comments,” Leia retorted.

“At least Janson said that what he expected in return for taking a woman on a date is a ‘thank you’ and to know whether she had fun. I know some people that expect a lot more,” Han countered with a wink.

“Then there’s hope,” Leia conceded.

Ben crawled over her and cuddled into her chest, then yawned.

The show returned and Leia sighed when Morse announced that this time there would be bachelorettes behind the screen.

“Our first bachelorette is 30-old Lieutenant Ziva Acker, a gunner for Bosta’s Planetary Protection Fleet.” Ziva smiled and politely waved to the audience. She was wearing a Vacari dress that complimented her beautifully. Those watching in person cheered along with a lone finger whistle.

“Our second bachelorette is 32-year-old Lieutenant Commander Aaliyah Lamar, a Commando in the Ryloth Military.” A shapely blue Twi’lek appeared wearing a Malikovic evening dress. Like when Lt. Acker had been introduced, the in-house audience cheered and there were several people finger-whistling, but a single glare halted them and a few people chuckled.

“And last, but not the least, our third bachelorette! 29-year-old Lieutenant Rebekkah Grunewald, a Naval Officer in the Erde Navy!” Morse called out and a Caféaulait appeared, wearing what Leia guessed was a traditional Caféaulait dress that looked like it was held in place with folds and tucks. She smiled and waved to the audience, her lips forming words that were lost over the cheers, jeers and laughter of those in attendance.

“And now it’s time to introduce our lucky bachelor! He’s a war hero but he retired to go back to doing what he loved: running a business. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome Lando Calrissian, the Baron Administrator of Cloud City on Bespin!” Morse called out.

Leia sighed with relief as Lando waltzed onto the stage. The man smiled and nodded politely at the audience. The bachelorettes barely reacted.

Leia wasn’t sure if she should feel sorry for Lando if he selected Lt Grunewald or laugh at the image of Lando going on a date with a female from a race known for their conservative nature when it came to sexuality.

A giggle escaped her as she imaged Lando and Lt Grunewald eating dinner and the atmosphere being closer to either a state dinner or the dinner at Cloud City with Vader.

“What funny?” Ben asked her.

“Yeah, what’s so funny?” Han asked.

“Lando’s in for a surprise if he chooses Lt Grunewald! It would be like an awkward state dinner.” She laughed.

“Not all Caféaulaits are prudes. I met one that was quite sensual. Besides, I bet you a night you won’t forget anytime soon that she will say or do some rather suggestive things.”

Leia was silent for a moment as she weighed the bet.

“I accept,” she told Han with a smile. In her lap Ben sighed dramatically and flopped against her.

It took a little bit but Han was proven right when Lt. Grunewald answered one of Lando’s questions with a suggestive answer.

The time ran out and Morse asked Lando which bachelorette he wanted to go on the date with. To his credit, Lando looked thoughtful. “They all sound so interesting but I want to spend time with the third bachelorette!”

Leia watched as the first two were introduced to Lando and noticed that Lt. Grunewald had a strange smile on her face She almost laughed at the look on Lando’s confused expression when he saw what Lt. Grunewald was wearing.

Suddenly, the hem of Grunewald’s dress snagged on the edge of a chair and it came loose and dropped on the floor, leaving her exposed. The audience that had previously jeered and booed at her choice of clothing now came alive, along with appreciative finger whistles. Lt. Grunewald’s face was flushed in embarrassment.

Han had clasped a hand over Ben’s eyes causing him to shriek in surprise.

In the background Lt Acker and Lt Com Lamar were yelling something that sounded like ‘go off the air’ as they ran back towards Lt Grunewald.

Lando quickly whipped off his cap and wrapped Lt Grunewald in it before he retrieved her dress from the floor. Leia couldn’t help but smile at the chivalry Lando displayed.

The angle changed drastically and when it righted itself a few minutes later Lt Grunewald was wearing an ankle length cloak with her dress folded over her right arm and standing next to Lando. Leia wondered with some annoyance why they hadn’t done it earlier when the lieutenant had first lost her dress.

“What an exciting night everyone,” Morse commented, “very exciting. Please join me in wishing Administrator Calrissian and Lt Grunewald well on their date to the Crystal Lakes of Vashu.”

Leia flicked the HoloNet Display off and picked Ben up.

“Well, that was . . . interesting; I hope they both have a good time and hope that her losing her dress doesn’t ruin the date for them,” she said as she carried Ben towards his room.

“I’ll get our room ready,” Han commented. “We can get busy once you’re done putting Bandit to bed.”

“You do that. I’ve missed you.” She said. She suspected that Han had cheated but right now she didn’t care.


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Great that Lando used his chivalry to good use in covering up Lt. Grunewald, but I also wonder if Han knows her all too well.

 

A fun interpretation! Not what I was expecting, but a great approach! I'm not sure Han actually KNEW Grunewald herself, but if he'd gone out with other ladies from Caféaulait, he might have guessed that they had a wild streak that would crop up. Lando got to be chivalrous, and who knows, maybe he'll get lucky? I'm guessing that the planet of Caféaulait has the best caff in the Galaxy? Nice entry, Lady Misty! It's been years since I've seen the original Dating Game; it was a nice choice.

 

Findswoman Well I went the route of Han and Leia watching the show because I wasn't sure if I would be comfortable writing some risque dialogue and whether or not it might border on inappropriate for the JCF. And no, Han has never met Lt Grunewald but he does know that it's a misnomer that all Cafeaulaits are prudes or lily white; yes some are more inclined to blush at some suggestive comments and all of them wear clothes that don't bare their midriff but you can't lump them all together.

RX_Sith Yes, it was chivalrous of Lando to cover Lt. Grunewald with his cape, something he got bonus points for with her and her family (even if they don't expect them to get married the mere fact that he did it without hesitation will have him in their good books for the rest of his life).

Mistress_Renata I'm glad you liked it! Yeah they never met but some Cafeaulaits have a wild/rebellious streak (originally Lt Grunewald was supposed to reveal to the audience that she was wearing a cocktail dress that exposed her midriff and back under a concealing coat).

Lando might get lucky.

No, they don't make the best caff in the galaxy, their name comes from the splotches and streaks on their skin that looks like coffee/caff/ardees with milk/cream. They didn't have a name for themselves and were thrust into the galaxy rather unceremoniously and because it was a nickname that was assigned to them but some nasty people it has stuck

Edit: Han did cheat! Some 'live' shows are recorded to be broadcasted either at a different date or to do some finishing touches on the episodes or to create a buffer. In this case the episode was delayed by a day. Lando called Han to let him know which night the episode was going to be on and warn him of the wardrobe malfunction.


Bonus So the Cafeaulaits have unique markings on their backs and torso which are considered private so when her ceremonial dress came loose (she didn't do the folds and tucks tight enough because she planned on redoing them depending on whether she was selected or not) it's probaby our equivalent of flashing the audience and doing something that allowed someone to see that you're going commando all without meaning to do it.

 

The beta-reader is late to the party! As usual.

Was glad to help with this, though I lost my brains at some point and kept on thinking that Ben in the story was Ben Skywalker, from the Legends timeline. D'oh! Now when I see the Saga - ST tag, it absolutely makes sense. So, sorry about that random bit of weirdness.

Only two dozen females for Lando? Whoa, he's getting old, all right!

This makes me wonder...do you think that Ben/Kylo has a sensory processing disorder of sorts? Or even an ASD?

The last name Hosse made me laugh. It's like "hose" with an extra "S" and knowing your fascination with all things German/Germanic and the theme of this show...this is just...just...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And these folks are so funny, each in their own little way. Both them and the women are kind of grotesque.

Ugh, Han. And LOL, Leia. There is truth in both statements, but Leia's is just a good splash of funny which she doesn't practice that often and that makes it FUN.

Now, what is the woman is an Ewok?

And Han is being so, so, so Han here....kind of annoying, but 100% in character!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

Glad that she could hide that image from the boy, despite their Force connection!

And the eventual reveal was...whoa. Did not expect it. And wondered the same as Findswoman did.

Another thing I liked a lot is how the show host's last name was Morse. Kind of...communicative. Fitting.

 

Hehe, this was fun! I loved Han and Leia's running commentary, and how you inserted in there various hints of how their own relationship as well as their relationship with Ben is shaping up.

Plus, I thought that this was spot-on:

... because even though Wes Janson can be really annoying sometimes, he also comes across as a really nice guy

 

So fun! A dating game set-up with Lando in one round and that scruffy looking nerf herder Wes Janson on the other round! So the bachelorette chose Wes. She may regret it - or it could be one interesting night. At least as a martial arts expert she can make sure Wes doesn't get too rowdy.

Lando proved to be the best bachelor around when he quickly sprang to action to prevent the consequence of a wardrobe malfunction. It's a very Lando thing to do. That cape has many uses!

It's interesting and a little bittersweet that you set this as a show that Han and Leia are watching. There's tension in their marriage from his constant absences, and we can already see little Ben being hesitant to hang around with his dad (or being too clingy with his mom). We have the artificial game show relationships on the screen and the real relationship on the couch. Being in a real relationship is much harder and tricker to do.

A creative response to the challenge!

 

Ooooh, fun stuff. Han and Leia were in-character.

 

I also would watch such a show for Lando´s benefit. Thanks for making me laugh with this fic!

 

Ewok Poet Well you came to the party and that is what matters.

It's really my fault that you didn't realize which Ben I was referring to; this is one reason in my AU of the Legends I didn't name Mara and Luke's son. I decided to leave his name up to the readers.

And no, Ben doesn't have a sensory issue, he's sensing the tension between his parents through the Force.

I'm glad you found that part funny, it was what I was going for.

No, she's not an Ewok and I'm glad that you feel I nailed that aspect of Han's character.

Well they ARE in the military and trained to keep their heads; that's not to say that they aren't excited that THE Lando Calrissian might choose one of them it's just one or two dates and then they go their separate ways (they were kind of roped into participating on The Dating Game).

Odds are good Ben wouldn't have understood the image from Could City. But Leia is grateful that Ben is too young to pick stuff out of her head.

Chyntuck, thank you! And all women I know when they go on dates, especially the first one, want to give the guy feedback on the date (whether or not they had fun and what they thought of _______ and enjoy each others company talking and not doing something more).

divapilot I thought it was funny for a guy that enjoyed having fun (at least in the Legends) to go out with a woman that was a MMA and as I implied: she might have a wicked sense of humor and might enjoy Janson's sense of humor and find him highly enjoyable.

Lando's quite the gentleman and yes capes have lots of uses.

Yeah, Ben is a little wary of Daddy and he Knows Momma isn't happy with him at the time so he stayed with Momma (I think he's closer to her anyway in Canon).

WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Thanks for reading! It's good to have you back!

AzureAngel2 I'm glad that i could put a smile on your face.