Saga - PT Kenobi - A Star Wars Story

Title: Kenobi - A Star Wars Story (since I can't currently come up with anything better)

Author(s): -Phoenix-, BRENTOSAURUS in most other places.

Timeframe: 8 BBY

Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Owen and Beru Lars, Luke Skywalker, Jabba the Hutt, Cad Bane, and a few other special guests.

Genre: Western?

Summary: Obi-Wan really needs to learn to forgive himself


Hi all, hopefully this is the right place for this. A couple of mods recommended this be posted here, so let me know if I've done something incorrectly. I've been away from these forums for... almost a decade, I think, and I'm back now because since November of last year I've had an itch about this. I'm not much of a writer, but I wanted to give myself an excuse to practice a bit and test myself to see where I could take my ideas. With all the talk of Star Wars anthologies it was assumed very early on that Obi-Wan was a perfect candidate to receive a little extra exploration into his dealings, and since he's possibly my favourite character in the franchise I have been a big advocate for this. In many places I've seen people suggest bits and pieces of plots that didn't sit right with me, either too blatantly copying other films or squandering opportunities that still sit waiting to be used.

So yeah, what I have is more or less a screenplay. It's not currently written in full script format (it will be eventually) but I wanted to get my ideas on paper, and it started to snowball from there into something that will soon probably cap off at about 100 pages, beginning to end.

What I'd like to do in this thread is hopefully share a little bit of the broad strokes of the story, and then offer up a small excerpt or two from the story itself. I'm hoping that stays within the spirit of this sub-forum, and if it doesn't I apologize in advance. I'm happy to be directed to a more appropriate location. If there's any interest, I can share more, but currently I do feel like keeping some of the details a bit close to the chest. It's sort of a selfish thing, but now that there's possibly a real actual Kenobi spinoff happening I want to live in the world a little longer where I can cling to the miniscule chance that something I do could have an effect on the Star Wars universe (the ultimate dream, right?).

So a few months ago I posted this on Reddit in their Star Wars forum and got a few kind responses, before watching my thread get swallowed up by pictures of Lego sets and book collections. Such is life. Nothing compares to the good old TF.N community I guess! I am very proud of what I've come up with, and before I posted this originally there I had not seen anyone hit on the same concepts so I feel my story is fairly original. I should disclaim that I have not read the now-legends Kenobi novel, nor any of the new canon appearances of Obi-Wan in Marvel comics, so I can't speak to any other official material that may already exist. I have seen the Twin Suns episode of Rebels, and this does not conflict with that at all, so I'm fairly confident that this could exist alongside the films and television shows without conflict. This is probably too much preamble. Get on with it already.


It is still a work in progress, so lots of this has the potential to change as I streamline it a bit.


Naturally, the film takes place (almost) entirely on Tatooine during Obi-Wan’s exile, probably around 8 BBY. It's a little more contemplative; a little slower-paced. Obi-Wan is doing his best to act as Luke’s guardian angel (without the boy’s knowledge) while Owen and Beru are growing increasingly uncomfortable with Obi-Wan’s interference in their lives. Obi-Wan wants to train Luke as a Jedi, but his aunt and uncle want Luke to not grow up with the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. They are aware of Anakin’s murder at the hands of Darth Vader and do not want Obi-Wan to turn Luke into a target for the Empire. Luke and Beru both play small roles in the story, and Owen’s role is significant. Obi-Wan seems very strange at the beginning of the movie, often talking and arguing with himself. Maybe all the years in the desert really have made him crazy. In reality, Obi-Wan is able to commune with Qui-Gon through the Force, and this often looks to outsiders as the ramblings of a crazy old hermit. Qui-Gon even materializes in a couple of scenes (if Liam Neeson is willing to return).

From there the story moves on similar to a western with much of what we love about Tatooine. T-16s, Tusken Raiders, Mos Eisley. I even briefly considered finding a way to work in a bit of podracing but decided against it (though there is something similar for Legends fans). A team of bounty hunters working for Black Sun and led by Cad Bane has their eyes on Jabba’s piece of the Hutt pie, and so they arrive on the planet to stir up trouble. Obi-Wan and Owen (don't worry, he's not secretly some swashbuckler) get accidentally tangled up in that plotline and Obi-Wan has to keep his identity as a Jedi hidden, so he doesn’t use his lightsaber and has to be careful how he uses the Force. There are lots of fun double-crosses and bad guys-playing-bad guys with Jabba really coming off as an extremely intelligent and manipulative crime lord, always one step ahead of his enemies.

This all culminates in Obi-Wan and Owen having to help Jabba and his thugs defend his palace from a sort of reverse-“magnificent seven” of bounty hunters (some of whom are canon, some who are Legends and I wanted to bring back into canon, and some completely new).

Oh, and there’s one more element I’ve left out so far. Someone extremely important.

Mace Windu.

I was never really happy with the way Mace was written and used in the prequels. Sam Jackson is an incredible actor and I wish he was able to shine through a little more in the role but unfortunately he never really had much to do. I do like what his character represents and think he would work extremely well in this film. I first got the idea after hearing Sam Jackson speak last year about how he would love to come back and play Mace again, and his own theory on how Mace probably survived. On this I have to agree with him. Mace gets his hand cut off and suffers a great fall. When was the last time a major Star Wars character, ESPECIALLY a Jedi, died this way? Never! Luke has almost the exact same thing happen to him (sans electricity), and Luke is not one of the greatest Jedi in the order at the time. It’s totally feasible to me to think that Mace could have recovered his bearings enough to slow his fall and save himself based on how tall Coruscant’s skyline really is. So that means Mace now gets to spend some time hiding in the Coruscanti underworld, watching everything around him be corrupted by the Empire. He’s in bad shape and he’s missing a hand, a constant reminder of Anakin’s betrayal.

So Mace escapes the planet. He spends the next ten years scouring the galaxy for other Jedi who might have survived. Everywhere he goes, as soon as he gets a lead on another Jedi, they’re dead by the time he arrives. Sometimes it was the Empire, sometimes it was Vader himself. Sometimes it was bounty hunters. Eventually Mace manages to seek out small numbers of Jedi throughout the galaxy and even manages to gather a very small enclave of Jedi in secret, hidden in the junkyards of Ord Mantell. Until it all goes wrong, and while he's away the entire group gets wiped out by our main group of bounty hunters. Mace's world crumbles yet again, and he is determined to catch up to the bounty hunters and eliminate them, hopefully buying more time and hope to find and gather other Jedi. He follows Cad Bane’s team to Tatooine (as they have been offered a new contract by Black Sun), where he feels a familiar presence in the Force.

Mace notices Obi-Wan during his and Owen’s adventures and manages to reunite with his Jedi friend. The two are of course ecstatic to see each other, Mace because Obi-Wan is and old friend and possibly the best hope he's found yet for the future of the Jedi and Obi-Wan because Mace is a great mentor and authority figure in the order. Mace informs Obi-Wan of his plan to rebuild the Jedi order, and Obi-Wan is happy to help, except he has to help Owen out of the jam he’s in with Jabba, which involves that big shootout I mentioned earlier. Mace is happy to help out since they are the very same bounty hunters he’s been trying to hunt down anyway.

Anyway, the day is saved, the good guys win, and the two Jedi bring Owen back to the farm, and everyone is happy. And then Luke runs out to greet and hug Owen.

And then Mace realizes who Luke is.

And why Obi-Wan is on this particular planet.

Mace felt a familiar presence on Tatooine who revealed itself to be Obi-Wan, but perhaps what he actually felt was something more akin to Anakin. It’s particularly strong with that boy nearby, and Mace isn’t an idiot. He instantly puts all the pieces together. Owen and Beru take Luke inside (still wondering about the crazy old hermit and his equally crazy vagrant friend outside) and leave Obi-Wan and Mace alone.

Mace wants to kill Luke.

He’s not evil. He’s not acting out of anger or hate. He hasn’t leaned into the dark side of the Force. But there was a moment, over a decade ago, where Mace had the galaxy’s greatest evil at the tip of his lightsaber. He had the chance to stop the Empire from being born, a chance to stop the Jedi Order, his family, from being destroyed, and a chance to destroy the Sith once and for all. What went wrong?

Anakin.

The boy who HE said shouldn’t be trained. HE knew all along that training Anakin was a bad idea, that he was too old, that he had too much fear. Qui-Gon was a maverick within the Jedi Order, and Mace was a real hardliner. And Mace was right. In his eyes, his strict adherence to the code was justified. If Anakin hadn’t given in to his fear and betrayed them all, the Republic would still stand. And now Mace gets to learn that not only did Anakin fall to the dark side, he had been defying the Jedi code in secret the whole time?

And he had a son.

A son who is probably every bit as powerful as his father. Who is now the same age (and even older) as Anakin when he showed up. And Obi-Wan wants to train him too? Are you insane? Didn’t they learn their lesson the last time they plunged the galaxy into darkness? Not only is training Luke incredibly dangerous, but he doesn’t even have the benefit of growing up in a stable environment like the Jedi Temple. Mace (rightfully so) feels that Obi-Wan training Luke is inevitably going to end the same way. So for the good of the galaxy and for any potential future for the Jedi, the boy has to die. Mace is not going to stop no matter what. He will not miss the second chance he has been given to do the right thing.

Obi-Wan has to make his decision. Does he help Mace rebuild the old Jedi Order? Or does he deny him and put his faith in the new, preserving the legacy of his apprentice and friend? We already know what Obi-Wan chooses. This is the only point in the film where lightsabers are ignited. It’s blue vs purple against the setting twin suns of Tatooine. And once again two former friends are pitted against each other for the fate of the galaxy. It’s a mean, dirty fight. And I guess we know how it ends.

I want this ending to suck. I want it to be the most heartbreaking decision for Obi-Wan to have to choose. No easy "dark side" scapegoat. Just two Jedi doing what they think is right.


So I'll share a quick excerpt too. This scene is more character-establishing than it is plot-related, but I like it all the same. Hopefully you do too.


The suns are starting to go down as a hot dusty wind blows across open plains. A plume of dust kicks up and expands as a single swoop bike streaks across the sand. The rider is covered in a dented helmet and goggles, with tattered robes that twist and snap in the wind. The bike heads for a narrow canyon and slips between two towering ridges. Obi-Wan Kenobi brings his swoop to a halt in a concealed rocky crag and steps off the bike. He takes off his helmet, wiping away dirt and sweat, pulls a makeshift rucksack off the back of the bike, and slings it over one shoulder. The bag is heavy and filled with various equipment: macrobinoculars, pieces of his old Clone Wars-era armor, a slugthrower rifle. He winds his way up a narrow trail to a small hut perched near the top of the cliff.
Obi-Wan reaches the top and notices a man standing in front of the hut. A bounty hunter. Obi-Wan registers no surprise, but gives the man a friendly wave. The man doesn’t respond. He just stares at Obi-Wan from under an opaque visor. His left hand is clasped around his opposite wrist, and in his right is a blaster. Obi-Wan gets closer and watches as the man’s hand slightly twitches. Obi-Wan smiles at him.

“Hello there!”

No response. Obi-Wan continues toward the door and lays his pack down, the bounty hunter at his back.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you. I can invite you in but I haven’t got anything prepared. I can make some refreshments if you care to wait.”

The bounty hunter says nothing. He just keeps staring. Obi-Wan steps through the doorway into his home and removes his desert cloak. He wanders across the room and begins brewing some [space-tea – Tea-tooine?] His visitor stands in the doorframe, casting a long shadow against the wall. As Obi-Wan works, he keeps talking, not expecting any answer.

“You must be thirsty. You’ve no doubt come a long way. I don’t get many visitors out here. I’m sure you know it can be dangerous to come this far out into the desert.” Obi-Wan turns around with a pair of small, steaming cups. He looks expectantly at his guest, who doesn’t budge from the door.

“Ah. Of course. You must be in a hurry.”

He walks to the door and hands one of the cups to the stranger. The man holds it and waits. Obi-Wan raises his cup in a half-hearted toast and drinks his first. Convinced, the bounty hunter downs his as well and drops the cup on the ground. The bounty hunter steps aside to let him exit his home, holstering his blaster as Obi-Wan continues another twenty feet toward the edge of the cliff. He turns back to face the bounty hunter, now in a ready stance. One hand twitches as it hovers over the blaster in its holster. Obi-Wan’s smile slowly turns to an expression of grim resignation.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

The two share a brief moment in the silence. A gentle breeze whispers and scatters sand across the stones, obscuring and revealing the hard ground, which bakes even in the setting suns. The wind catches the bounty hunters scarf, tugging at it like a ribbon.

A breath.

It happens in an instant. The bounty hunter is a real gunslinger, lightning fast.

It doesn’t matter.

His single blaster bolt finds only a lightsaber blade and returns, killing him. Obi-Wan sighs.


Obi-Wan sets the last stone on the pile. It is now dark. He rises and slowly wanders past a dozen other identical graves, back to his hut. He picks up the cup from the doorway, and steps into the tiny residence. Obi-Wan lights a candle and sits down in the middle of the room, eyes closed. After a moment, a voice. Not his. Qui-Gon.

“You should be more careful.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes open, but he does not turn to look at the apparition now standing across the room.

“Interesting advice, coming from a dead man.”

“If anyone sees you doing things like that in the open, you’ll attract the attention of the empire. Or worse.”

“I didn’t invite him. He made the mistake of coming here alone.”

“I’m not talking about the bounty hunter. I’m talking about the boy.”

Obi-Wan sighs and stops himself from rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t have much of a choice this time, Qui-Gon.”

“If you draw any unwanted attention to him-”

“The boy is drawing plenty of attention to himself without my help. I’m beginning to think this was not the right place for him. His family is strained. I don’t know if they can handle the burden.

“He’ll grow out of it. He’s young. Reckless and impulsive, like his father.”

“Like you. He may not have time to just ‘grow out of it’.

“I made many mistakes, Obi-Wan. Finding Anakin was not one of them.”

“The Jedi Order would disagree, Master.”

Qui-Gon pauses to consider Obi-Wan’s remark. Obi-Wan himself is somewhat caught by his own words.

“Training Anakin was the real mistake. My mistake. Perhaps you could have avoided this, Qui-Gon, but I wasn’t ready. This was my fault.”

“I would not have asked you if you weren’t ready, Obi-Wan. You can’t blame yourself for Anakin’s fate. The pull to the dark side is strong, and Anakin had weaknesses he would not admit.”

“But I should have seen them. That was my job. I failed him. I’m going to fail this one too, if we wait much longer. He’s already older than Anakin was when you found him.

“The boy will come to you when the time is right. The Force has a use for him, as it does for you and I. We must be patient.”

“And what do I do about the boy’s uncle? Owen does not want Luke to have any knowledge of the Jedi. He believes our extinction is a good thing. I’m not going to be able to convince him with ‘The Force wills it.’”

“An opportunity will present itself. We must be ready when that time comes.”

“You sound like Master Yoda. Not all of us can wait around another hundred years. The Empire is powerful; more powerful every day. They won’t ignore Outer Rim planets like this one forever.

“Then you mustn’t give up, Obi-Wan. Life will become very dangerous if knowledge of Luke’s heritage gets out.

“His life is already very dangerous, Qui-Gon. He seems to be trying very hard to get himself killed.”

“If the emperor finds him, Obi-Wan, he will face much worse than death. He’ll become an agent of evil. His death would be a mercy, for both himself and the galaxy.”

The candle in the room extinguishes, taking Qui-Gon with it. Obi-Wan is left alone in darkness.


Thanks for reading. Any feedback is appreciated. I'm also happy to discuss any questions about character motivations or anything like that.

 

This is well thought out but I don't know how to feel about mace windu being alive, it would seem too much like fan service.

 

I am curious what will happen next. A bounty hunter usually has somebody who pays for the mission. And you mentioned the Black Sun Syndicate. Is Prince Xizor possibly behind it?

The dialogue between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was also interesting. You write good dialogue.

But pray, is this just a little extract of the story? Is there not more text?

What fanfic writes usually do is to build up their fics brick by brick without spoilers. You did spoiler us now, but those spoilers are so interesting that I really would like to read the actual story. Bit by bit.

 

That's fair, but I thought he could be used well since his "death" still leaves a few possible doors open. His station and personality inform his goals, and he can be used as a friend, partner, foil, and antagonist without ever really being a "villain". Plus when you have an actor as enthusiastic about coming back as Sam Jackson seems to be, I can't imagine a better place to use him. That way the film doesn't end with Obi-Wan just killing whichever bounty hunter or mercenary happens to be the big bad and going back to sitting in the sand. Mace is a character that's deeply tied to him and represents Obi-Wan having to fully let go of the old Jedi Order in order to give hope to the new.

Thanks for the questions! Black Sun's involvement in the story is fairly minimal, existing mostly as a trigger to get Cad Bane on Jabba's bad side. Xizor doesn't appear, but he is mentioned in passing to indicate that he is around in current canon. Nothing that says "this is supposed to lead to a sequel" but just enough to fill out the galaxy a bit more. There are even a few more Shadows of the Empire easter eggs here and there.

And yes, there's lots more to the story! That scene takes place near the beginning of the first act, before the dominoes start to fall. I know it's an untraditional way of sharing this, but I like the idea of sharing scenes here and there that don't spoil the story, instead giving little tastes of certain elements.

 

Didn't read the scene yet, but I like the plot you gave a lot. I think the idea of Mace being alive is awesome and I totally agree with your reasoning for it. I'm not much for bringing back dead characters but yeah Mace's death did feel the slightest bit open ended considering the stuff we've see Jedi survive. I at first thought you were gonna have Obi Wan at odds with Mace's plan of action regarding rebuilding the Jedi order, but your idea is cooler tbh. great way to make Obi Wan's mission a key piece of the story. It also solves one of the main issues with the film, finding an feasible antagonist for Obi Wan. Also I always wanted to see Mace's moment of vindication where he gets to bask in the fact that he was right all along about Anakin.

 

Great story outline. I don't mind Mace being alive but I don't think he'd ever consider killing an innocent kid, no matter how unhinged he's become. I think if anything he'd order Ben not to train him & if he refuses he may have to eliminate Ben. Also, does Yoda play any part? Is Mace aware of him?

 

Yeah his solution for Luke seems extreme, but I look at it sort of like that old "if you went back in time, would you kill baby Hitler?" question. Mace was right about not wanting to train the guy that got 10,000 of his friends killed and brought down a galaxy-wide democracy, affecting the lives of trillions. If he was presented with (what he perceives to be) the same mistake happening AGAIN, how unhinged would he have to be to think it's the only option?

As for Yoda - in my current draft Mace does not know about Yoda. By the time he joins the action there isn't a ton of time to sit down and go over everything that's happened in the previous decade, and Obi-Wan is careful how much he reveals about his purpose on Tatooine, given how much has changed since the end of the Clone Wars. Of course, that all unravels by the end, but I currently don't have any references to Yoda.

 

I'd be tempted to incorporate Yoda in some small way. Keep in mind that Yoda is also watching over Luke from afar. Perhaps he could appear to Mace to try to talk some sense into him.

I'd still like to see Mace reluctantly decide to kill an old hermit Jedi to prevent Luke from being trained, rather than the kid himself. But, if Mace is shown as sufficiently nuts then targeting Luke makes for a more desperate situation. & may force Ben to take extreme measures.

 

Yoda could definitely work in that context. I do have a scene where Qui-Gon appears to not just Ben but Mace as well, and those two don't exactly see eye to eye about how the last 25 years have gone. Nothing that paints Mace as a bad guy, just that he definitely has a much harder line when it comes to his views on the Jedi and the Force.

 

With Yoda you'd get to set up certain attitudes in the OT. Like the fact that Yoda is unimpressed with Luke's looking to the future & being reckless. I'd also have Ben becoming impatient & annoyed with not being able to train Luke due to Owen blocking him. Yoda could be adding to this by complaining that Luke is becoming too old. The more time that passes, the more dangerous & difficult it is to train him. Maybe Yoda could even suggest that Obi-Wan should take Luke & bring him to Dagobah. Which Obi-Wan objects to, but has to seriously consider when Mace makes his threats. Just some random suggestions that your story probably doesn't need.

 

There is a central arc for Obi-Wan running through the story that starts with him being impatient with Owen. I imagine perhaps he (and maybe Yoda) expected that he would be able to start training Luke at a young age, as is the Jedi way. Owen is very resistant for good reason, and this is very damaging to their relationship. Mace serves as a reflection of Obi-Wan's former life and adherence to the code and rules of the Jedi. This means that eventually Obi-Wan has to choose between upholding the dogma of the group he pledged his whole life to (represented by Mace), and the possibility that perhaps that belief system was flawed and something like the love between a father and son (represented by Owen, and later proven by Luke and Vader) can actually lead to a new generation of Jedi through Luke. Essentially giving him the chance to trust that the Force will bring Luke to him when the time is right.

EDIT: In fact it's Qui-Gon's spirit (unconvential viewpoint in death as he was in life) that is his sounding board for this alternative view of Luke's destiny.

 

Well, you've made a good start, -Phoenix-. You've laid out a very ambitious storyline! Now the hard part is...writing it out! The bit you've posted already, I've really enjoyed. Bounty hunters after Ben...so do they know he's not just a crazy old hermit? Who are they working for? And the fact that there are so many other graves there... I actually had a flash of Arsenic and Old Lace, with the yellow fever victims in the cellar!

As to bringing back Mace, well, heck, if LFSG can re-canonize Darth Maul's survival (CUT IN HALF!!!), then Mace surviving when he only lost a hand seems like nothing.

So, go for it. Keep writing. I thought Obi-Wan's characterization was pretty good, so far, and if he seems a little bitter to Qui-Gon, it's entirely understandable.

 

Thanks a lot!

I figured I would just allude to the idea that even though Ben is in hiding and most of the locals ignore him, every now and then, some freelancer comes poking around looking for an easy bounty because of some rumour they've heard. Ben just sort of accepts this as an unfortunate reality of his new life. At least they come for him and not Luke, right?

Qui-Gon, even when he doesn't materialize, gets a few chances to speak to Obi-Wan internally, and Obi-Wan responding really supports the local perception of him as a crazy old wizard.

I'm currently 2/3 to 3/4 done and the hardest part is resisting the urge to go back already to do some rewrites!

 

As long as you haven't posted, rewrites are a GOOD thing. My personal ROT is to finish the entire first draft, and then tweak as the posts go up. Should be good.

 

Hi,

I checked your story out and it is a good idea. Just let me tell you that I also write a fanfiction (with other leading characters) where I chose an almost similar way for Mace. He just bites the dust (not that of Tatooine) several more years later.

But please: Don't let Mace want to kill Luke. This is not only out of character for Mace. This is not "The Adjustment Bureau". You would do better letting Mace desire to train Luke instead of Obi-Wan and have the final fight about this.

Just one hint: There are heavy rumors that Cad Bane did die during the cancelled TCW-seasons. But nevertheless they are canon, hence the not yet released bounty-hunter arc, where Bane's death is expected to happen. So when you are eager to avoid being AUed unvoluntarily later because LFL decides to allow a novel or a technically half-finished arc on screen to be released, you should better turn to a bounty-hunter seen in ANH like Greedo or Dengar. Such an imposed AUation happened to me one year ago with Ventress after the publication of "Dark Disciple".

Regards
Sudooku

 

Welcome to fanfic -phoenix-, we'd be happy to have your fanfic posted here on the boards! That being said, we don't allow the posting of outlines, but since you've posted a scene, I'm going to go ahead and let it stand. But I'm going to ask that you guys don't have conversations here in the story boards. Comments and replies about the story are fine and encouraged but please keep the back and forth to a minimum and that the author not post in the thread more than once per day. That's not to say there can't be a question from a reader and then an answer, but longer discussions should go to PM.

If you have any questions, please PM me, I'm happy to answer.

Per the fanfic FAQ:

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I have another excerpt here to share, this one from somewhere in Act 2. It's a little different from the last one, but hopefully the lack of context won't rob it of any value!


The rust-coloured landspeeder slows to a stop as Beru and Luke arrive home at the Lars moisture farm. Tatooine’s twin suns are just starting to dip in the sky, casting early evening shadows. The homestead is silent except for PT-4, his lopsided gait visible through the speeder’s plasteel windshield. The droid lumbers along with a makeshift tool belt slung over its shoulder. Luke is out of the speeder almost before it stops, running toward the droid.

“Peetee!”

PT-4 turns around just as Luke wraps his arms around the droid’s legs.

“Sorry we were gone for so long! We saw the swoop race, and there was a big explosion, and Uncle Owen went to buy another droid! You’ll have a new partner here as soon as they get back!

“Finally, someone I can boss around.”

Beru smiles as she walks up, and puts a hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“Slow down Luke, you’ll short PT’s circuits."
The droid's single optic sensor swivels slightly toward Beru. Luke runs off into the home.

“Surprised he hasn’t fried his own. Good to have you back, ma’am.”

“Good to be back. Any trouble while we were gone?”

“Nothing significant. Couple of rats chewing on condenser 3. Took care of ‘em.”

“Well that’s good to hear. I think I need a nap. It’s been a… hectic couple of days.”

“That’s alright ma’am. I’ll head over to the south ri-… Ma’am. My scanners are picking up something. Use the macros.”

PT-4 hands Beru a pair of macrobinoculars from his tool belt. She raises them to her eyes and looks toward where PT is extending a long arm. The horizon is empty. She scans left and right, and then spots it. A single bantha, slowly trudging directly toward the farm. On top of the bantha sits a lone rider, one of Tatooine’s ubiquitous sand people. Beru’s blood runs cold.

“Peetee. Lock the compound.”

She lowers the macros.

“And get the rifles.”

Beru runs to the main entrance and heads down the stairs into the courtyard.

“Luke!”

No answer.

“Luke!”

Beru checks the kitchen and Luke’s room. Nothing. She heads for the garage.

“Luke!”

Luke comes wandering out of the garage with a hydrospanner and his model T-16.

“What’s up, Aunt Beru?”

Beru kneels down and grabs him by the shoulders.

“Luke, I need you to go to your room, okay? You’re not in trouble, I just need you to stay there.”

“What’s going on?”

“We're going to have a visitor. Tusken. It's going to be fine, but I need to talk to him alone. So don’t come out until I tell you, okay?"

Luke looks worried.

"What if something bad happens?"

"Nothing bad will happen, honey. I have Peetee with me. We have nothing to worry about."

Luke smiles.

“Okay.”

The boy runs across the courtyard and hits the control panel for his bedroom. The door slides open and he runs in and hops on his bed. Beru stands in the doorway, smiling at him. She presses the panel to close the door, then enters a quick pattern of keys to lock it. Beru runs back up the stairs and meets PT-4, grabbing one of the cycler rifles held by the droid. PT follows her as she heads for the rim of the farm’s tech dome.

“I’m not much use with this, ma’am.”

“Then pass it to me when I tell you to. You can reload.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Beru leans the rifle against the rim and sets her sights. The primitive rifle has only a manual optic magnifier, and Beru squints to peer through the small scope. The bantha and rider are now much closer. Beru watches as the bantha stops about two hundred meters away. The sun beats down, and Beru sweats. Her finger sits on the rifle’s trigger, steady as a rock. The rider picks up a horn and lets loose a sustained blast. Suddenly, the lone bantha becomes three, then five, and soon dozens more as a multitude of other tuskens fan out from their single column. The lone rider is actually an entire tribe of sand people, mounted on not just banthas, but dewbacks and eopies and jerbas as well. Some of the beasts carry warriors, some carry supplies, and some are ridden by entire families, with women and children perched in homemade saddles. Massiffs, canine beasts, follow along, nipping at tails and heels.

The throng spreads out, and the banthas in the center of the column part as the largest beast in the group, a towering ronto, slowly strides to the front of the crowd. Its rider dismounts, another tusken raider, but this one clearly some sort of marshal or chieftain. It has a head-covering much more elaborate than the usual style, carved from the skull of some desert beast. In its hand is a long staff-like gaderffi, equally as unique as the rest of the rider’s garb. The chieftain strides forward and scans the vaporators of the Lars farm. The other tuskens wait silently for some sort of verdict. The chieftain walks up to the nearest one and reaches out with a hand.

The distinctive crack of Beru’s cycler rifle echoes as a shot bounces off the vaporator, inches from the tusken chief. Its head jerks toward Beru and PT-4, and it raises its gaderffi above its head while letting out the unmistakeable tusken war cry.

“URoRRuR'R'R”

A horde of warriors thunder past on their mounts, heading straight for Beru.

Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't aware of other Mace stories, I'll check yours out! Hopefully what I've done isn't too close, I don't want you to feel ripped off. The Cad Bane stuff is interesting, and I did see that unfinished Clone Wars animatic of his standoff with Boba, but most of what I wrote was before that was released, and since it's not a currently officially-completed-and-released story, I figured why not keep using him. It can always be changed or shifted around later if need be.

Thanks to mavjade for helping me with the rules of this board and thanks to everyone else for sharing your opinions and feedback! They are all greatly valued.

 

What a cliffhanger! I hope you do not leave me hanging in the air with my mouth wide open.