Before the Saga By One's Grace - A KOTOR Story

Hey, I've been toying with a story for a bit and this is some of it. I've never written saber combat before so I would greatly appreciate some tips!

3957 BBY ​

The Jedi Civil war ​

Before The capture of Revan ​

Dantooine ​

​

Quill Oredall’s POV​

“There is no emotion, there is peace,”

I recited the Jedi code as I slowly walked the large, rocky plains of Dantooine. Something I did often as to get away from the annoyances of training and other Jedi.

“There is no ignorance, there is knowledge,”

I’m a Cathar, joining the order was the best thing to happen to a weakling like me. Cathar society was very warrior prone, so to a skinny and physically weak non-fighter like me, I was not taken to very well. I’m on track to becoming a knight, the life of a padawan is a tedious one.

“Peace is a lie, there is only passion.”

I nearly jumped at the sudden, raspy voice. What stood almost parallel to me was a man dressed in the same brown Jedi robes as I.

He bore a black mask made of leather, the outline of his mouth, eyes, and ears were made out clearly. The man seemed to have taken care to cover every inch of skin he could. In his left hand he held a metallic cylinder with nothing seemingly remarkable about it, the most standard lightsaber one could get.

He flicked the weapon to life, a long blue blade appearing where once nothing stood.

“Dark Jedi.” I whispered.

I held my right hand straight out in front of me, calling upon the force my saber flew from my belt to my limb and immediately was ignited. I pointed the green weapon at the man, arm outstretched so it stayed about level with my chest.

The man wasted no time in attacking, using the force to augment his speed I barely deflected a blow directed at my face, in turn, the force of his strike causing me to stagger a bit. With a grunt, the dark Jedi holding the lightsaber with both hands slashed at me downwards horizontally.

I flipped backward, gaining some distance. I had little time to rest as a stream of lightning shot towards me, I met his blast by quickly pulling a small boulder in front of me with the force, it takes most of the attack, I still felt the burning pain surge through my left leg. I sent the huge rock flying towards the foe who cut it in two with his saber.

My only chance was to keep him at a distance, at most I could block and badly parry his moves, any sort of elongated clash I could not win.

I needed to use my best card, force stasis. I’ve devoted countless days to mastering this advanced technique and as a result causing both my saber fighting, as well as my other force abilities to suffer.

I quickly gathered my strength and with a growl, I stopped the charging man in his tracks, static energy surrounding his body. I pulled small rocks, stones, and pebbles from the earth to levitate around me, as many as I could. I managed to collect around twenty.

I let the stasis shield down and sent him flying into a tree with a strong force push, he dropped his lightsaber. This was my chance, I commanded every piece of earth I had gathered to shoot towards him. He yelped in pain as he was pelted, my move happening so fast that he could not react in time. His forehead and arms were bleeding badly.

Anger took over the dark Jedi in full, with a pure animalistic roar he collected his weapon and tossed it at me, I easily dodged it, however, it seemed this is what he wanted as his fist; strength greatly augmented, landed on my chin in a painful uppercut. I tripped, falling on my back. The man instead of grabbing his own or my lightsaber jumped on top of me, savagely punching my face and chest. Despite the pain I quickly realized… he let his force shield down.

I couldn't help but let the sides of my lips twist into a minor smile. I unleashed an admittedly weak push, but it was enough to get him a decent distance away from me. The dark being charged again, this time remembering to cover himself in a shield. Gathering up most of my strength, I once again froze him in his tracks, his right foot raised slightly off the ground.

Despite my near-exhaustion, I commanded both my and his lightsabers to my hands, I jumped, flipping in the air, I landed directly in front of the man.

“You lose!” I shouted.

“Indeed,”

I jumped backwards, accidentally dropping the stasis I’ve placed on the man and crashing into him.

What stood there was my master, Jedi knight Korris Morr.

Korris was a Bothan with rather unconventional ways of teaching his students. He only took on those who were seen as “troubled” or unruly, whenever asked why he just smiles. He wore a white tunic without a robe and had a strange lightsaber strapped to his belt. The weapon was silver with touches of gold spots on the upper side of the hilt, directly under where the blade would ignite.

“Get off me you idiot!” the man pushed me before taking off his mask to reveal himself as my rival, Tora Derin.

Tora was born into the dark side, he himself doesn't know if he was born to a sith, or a normal family and was stolen by one. It was a controversial move to say the least, letting the former darksider join the academy. Korris had encountered Derin on a short skirmish on Cartao, neither has ever told what happened between them, what I do know is it ended with a new padawan.

Despite our issues I do in a way admire my rival; the hooks of the dark side are still deep within him, anger is a hard thing not to give into, especially when your entire childhood was reinforced to give into it, despite this he tries his best to stay to the light.

He had a padawan braid, just like me. His hair was traditional short Jedi; it was a dark blonde with little to say about, his eyes green and fiery.

“This was a test for both of you. Tora, it was to see if you could control your anger… we’ll need to work on that bit,” Tora grumbled in response.

“Quill, you reacted to the situation quite well. You were well aware of your strengths and weaknesses as well as using the environment to your advantage. You have come a long way, plus I personally find it better to focus on mastering one or two things then being a jack-of-all-trades.”




Salisis waited eagerly for his ghrakhowsk, the trandoshan’s life was saved by Quiff around a year ago. Many students gave him strange looks as he impatiently tapped his scaly foot. Salisis inspected his blaster and vibroblade, he fought in a form many found interesting, his blaster in left and sword in right, the lizard was surprised very few took on this method.
Finally, Quiff come into the trandoshan’s sight, he was walking with a human female. She had two ponytails, one for both left and right sides of her head. She wore a suit of brown and cream, somewhat like a traditional jedi robe but less baggy and more so skin tight.

With a nod the two departed and the cather made his way to Salisis.

“The masters feel it best I accompany the person I was talking to, Bastila Shan, on a. . . mission. I wish I could tell you what it is, my friend.”

This is something the lizard did not expect.

“What? I can’t let you do that, you need me!”

“If I remember correctly I was the one who saved you, I don’t like it anymore then you do, but I’m under direct council orders, I leave in an hour.”

Marren Cinage POV​

I’m a solider for the sith not because I wanted to be, my choices basicly were let my son and daughter starve to death or die of some illness in the lower cities of taris, or give my blaster to the winning side for some half decent pay. I send everything I get to them, they are staying with a friend.
I wish I could tell you how pretty I am. . . truth is my hair is a faded black, short and ugly. I’ve gotten a decent tan from my days working on various farms, my eyes as grey as much as darth Malak is a prick.

Have to say, never thought I would be assigned to Darth Revan's flagship, still a private. I bloody hate the military armor, I look like a sextoy in this metal thing! I walked down the painfully grey halls of this awful ship, I don’t understand the sith’s hatred of coloring. I tightly clutched my bland-as-kriff blaster rifle; standard and ugly with a range of 28 meters.

Something hit us. That was evidenced by the sudden sound of energy hitting shield and an awful shake that made me slip and bash my kriffing head on the wall, I guess that dildo armor has one use. After nearly breaking my neck I picked myself up and some guy started talking over the ship’s comm systems.

“Alert, alert, we are under attack. All hands to battlestations! I repeat we are under attack!”

A wall of other soldiers ran down the hall, I laid myself flat against the wall so as to avoid being trampled by the spooky dildo-people.

“Marren!” Ken, one of the few people I can safely call friend ran to me down the depressingly ugly hall, he was helmetless, his skin black and short hair brown, a thin strip of hair covered his upper lip. He carried the same basic rifle as me.

“Marren,” he repeated as he stopped in front of me.

“A fleet of republic ships just shot out of hyperspace,” another blast shook the ship and caused the both of us to simultaneously say: “Son of a kriffing blaster!”

We had a quick chuckle before he continued.

“We need to report to an officer for orders!”

I nodded. We passed several doors and other troops until we finally reached some sithspit with a lieutenant rank.
He turned to us as we stopped in front of him.

“Private Ken Mortar and Marren Cinage reporting for duty SIR!” Ken spat out as we saluted the black haired thirty-something.

“I’m an ugly poop-face!” is what I imagined he would say, he however said something more akin to: “We’ve detected a boarding party in the lower levels, it is mostly troops but a small team of jedi are with them, slow them down!”

With another salute we ran to the elevator.



“You notice how he didn’t say to take them out?” I turned to Ken as we stood in the moving box.

“Slow them down, yeah… we are grunts going against jedi… the best we could do is slow them down,” He said matter of factly.

“You’re such a pessimist!” I joked.

“Maybe They’ll be too busy cutting down the other troops to notice us?”

He laughed at that, I was happy.

The elevator opened to a large room of troops all pointing their blasters towards a large magnetically-sealed door. A couple of black robed dark jedi stood in front of the small army, around four.

It was so sudden I would have jumped backwards if not for my elite soldier... ness? A yellow lightsaber blade stuck right through the near top of the Durasteel door. You could rape the tension with a vibro-blade as the saber slowly made a complete circle and then pulled itself out. The just cut door shot from its home and impacted on a handful of soldiers, you could clearly hear bones break and see blood flow.

Quill Oredall’s POV ​

As soon as bastila sent that door flying did we all charge through and slashed at whatever was nearest. I cut down four sith soldiers in a wide, clean, straight slash; an admittedly less than fancy maneuver from a less than fancy form; that being Shii-Cho, the only form I have any real skill in thanks to my focus on the force. A dark jedi jumped at me, I barely dodged a surprisingly elegant (for a sith) piercing attack. The slim Twi'lek stabbed straight outwards, her hand being perfectly level with her chest.

She wore a black robe with a gray tunic under it, her skin blue and seemingly without a flaw. My guess was she hadn't been a darksider very long, she showed no darkside degradation; she had a strong aura of confidence that was extremely off-putting for me, most of these dark jedi are mindlessly addicted to the power the dark side offers. Many attack with no skill, extremly used to rampaging through entire rooms of enemies with little trouble, they have little chance against a decent force-user.

As a result, the sith mainly use these fools as shock troops and little else. She stepped back, looking me in the eye she stood sideways, saber pointed about neck level; her non-dominant left hand upwards behind her. I fell into a basic defensive position, legs standing apart, both hands encasing the hilt and the blade’s tip pointed slanted at the ceiling.

Her saber had an interesting design, it was slim and black with a single gray-metal zigzag that wrapped itself around the cylinder. The bottom of the hilt was curved, making it look almost like a revolver's handle. As if to demonstrate why it was built this way; she spun the blade with ease, the weapon (While still ignited) left her hand for a second. It gently grazed the back of her hand before she once again gripped the weapon and fell back into her previous position.

“A smart opponent would have pressed their advantage, I know you saw me let my weapon go, if only for a bit, to show off. A smart opponent would have taken the second when my blade was over my hand to strike, taking me off guard, or wounding me… if you were skilled enough you might even would have killed me,”

Her lekku twitched at that, she seemed to be enjoying this.

“A smarter opponent would have recognised that was a feint, for me a test of your skill. They would have used a force based ability to toss me off, then go from ther—”

I cut her off as I unleashed a relatively powerful push, she nearly crashed into the wall, barely being able to steady herself with the force before she made impact.
With a smile she fell back into her fighting position.

“I like you.” is all she said.

Finding a new confidence within myself, I charged, my blade held sideways over my head. She stood still as I twisted the saber over my skull horizontally at her face; the alien parried my attack with a simple flick of her hand, only the tip of the violet colored deathblade making contact with my lightsaber. This pattern of attack, parry, went on for longer than I care to admit.

Anger took over me in full. I cut at her downwards, this time she instead of parrying the blow, caught it; we stood in a clash with her blade holding mine down, all the while smiling. The twi'lek took me for surprize when she suddenly and swiftly kicked me in the stomach, I recoiled and thus my guard weakened for but a second. She only needed one as she sharply spun the saber, the hilt twarling in the palm of her hand. I screamed in pain as the blade’s tip cut elegantly into my left cheek, burning its way to my eye; blinding me.

I fell to the ground, hand covering my scarred, half-blind face. The twi'lek with a flick of her wrist sent the still ignited weapon spinning high into the air. It nearly hit the ceiling before it fell back down to earth where she caught it perfectly. She pointed the blade right at me, I desperately crawled backwards before hitting a wall; she walked ever closer to me, all the while holding a smile on her face.

“Stay... away,” I choked out. I was shivering with fear, her lekku swayed from left to right as the dark jedi slowly came closer; in that same elegant, sideways Makashi pose.

“Stay away!”

“No,” she replied

I closed my eyes, waiting for death. . . death didn’t come.
Bastila tossed her lightsaber, the double-bladed weapon rapidly slicing through the air, a slash meant for me deflected the staff back at Bastila who easily caught it. The two women ran at each other, both moving with a fantastic elegance that I had never seen previously.

 

On the first part:
That was pretty cool! The character of the rival was interesting, and I hope he'll be explored further. One thing I don't understand is if he was known to be struggling with the dark side, why is he a dark jedi in the exercise? I like the way the main character combatted for the same reasons as the Bothan, and it was pretty creative. Not to mention a mission with Bastila Shan! I'm also pretty interested in the Trandoshan.
On the second:
But, you did well with this. 'Twas sad, especially when I reread it.
On the third:
He again fights well, but the Twi'lek seems to have studied more lightsaber combat. But Bastila is there?
I think I know what mission this is. Quill was nice.
I haven't written saber combat, but you seemed to do pretty well. One line was a bit confusing though. It was in the first part, and said that he sliced horizontally downward. You were definitely creative with it, not making it person x stabs at person y, who blocks. You put character into the combat.

Whew, just realized how long-winded I was. A scary bedspread

 

BookExogorth

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback!

First off, Kora was a Dark Jedi in the exercise because their master wanted to test his students in his own way. He almost encouraged Kora to give into the Darkside, him growing up in the sith, he has some abilities from the Darkside. Despite Korris pretty much telling Kora to go dark in this fight, he expected him not too.

Bastila is there, Quill is part of the strike team meant to take down Revan.

 

That's the mission I thought! Your answers make sense. Will this continue?

 

BookExogorth

Yes, I want this to mostly be a character-focused story, with Quill and friends doing missions and leading troops against the Sith. If this works out I might do something on kotor 2 (First Jedi Purge). If I did, that would be focused on my own version of the Jedi Exile, maybe have him/her meeting Quill who has by then lost the will to fight and gave up being a Jedi, only for the Exile to breathe some life back into him.

 

Not at all familiar with KOTOR, but I like your style and pacing. Can't wait to read more.

 

I stopped reading, soon after your "dark jedi" sliced the boulder in half.

I notice you did not change the blue lightsabre to a red one, so I still cannot see how your Cathar identified his opponent as Dark Jedi.

So, advice. Time taken to do things.

In the films, Force Sensitives can lift and throw something quickly if it is relatively light, such as whatever Darth Maul uses to open a door in the Theed hangar in TPM, but for something heavy like a boulder, there is usually a few seconds getting a good grip on it, shifting it from its perch, then lobbing it; I don't know if that is a wise move whilst Force Lightning is already on its way to you.