Saga - PT The Phantom Menace (Rewrite)

Hello, I have had a storyboard for a rewrite of this movie for about a year. I have always wanted to do something with it, and I finally decided to go ahead. I am pretty busy with work right now, so I can't promise I'll be able to write the story from the storyboard at specific times. However, I'll do my best to put up new scenes/chapters as I get them finished. I would love for people to just enjoy reading this and let me know if you like it.

 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

STAR
WARS

Episode I
THE PHANTOM MENACE

For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights have been the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. However, with time, complacency can find a foothold in even the most noble of groups. Unbeknownst to the Jedi, a movement is underway that seeks to fracture the Republic and discredit the entire Order. Unknown and unchallenged, this movement may provide for the return of the evil Sith Order, unseen for the last thousand years.

At this very moment, a Jedi team has been dispatched to investigate an assassination attempt on a Senator of the Galactic Senate. As they follow the evidence, they can only hope to resolve this situation quickly and restore security to the Galactic Republic.

 

Scene I

(Space pans down to see a planet. Pan down to surface and across a waste horizon of steam bog pits and mesas in the distance as 2 robed men are running along the surface. Zoom in as 1 of the men stops and bends down and touches a black substance on the ground. Light Brown Robed Man (LB) shakes black substance off his hand as he stands up.)
LB: Speeder fluid. It's still warm.
Dark Brown Robed Man (DB): (Notices steam coming off LB's hand.) More like hot, young one.
LB: We must be right behind. And please don't call me young!
DB: Easy. Be patient you....(LB glares at him.) We will find our query.
LB: When we do, he will be sorry.
DB: He? Are we sure it is a he?
LB: Why wouldn't it be?
DB: Not all bounty hunters are male. Not all species even define gender, young one. And we'll never catch our QUERY standing here. It seems...(DB closes eyes)...we need to go...(DB points) that way.
(LB and DB head in that direction avoiding another bog pit.)
LB: You did it again, you know.
DB: Do not give me reason to and I won't. You are quite far along in your training. You need to remember your studies on galactic biology.
LB: But what does that have to do with anything? We operate on Coruscant.
DB: Our role is to help people.
LB: But how does knowing what creatures live on a distant planet like Yavin help? Or what gender they are? We'll never be sent there.
(DB stops and puts hand on shoulder to stop LB from stepping on a snake camouflaged like a small log.)
DB: You should at least study the planets we are sent to. The knowledge might save your life. (DB points to the snake slithering off.) One bite from that would have killed you. However, we are to help all people and creatures. That becomes easier when he know enough about them to know what help they need.
LB: Yes, Master. (LB points to another black pool and they move past it.)
DB: Be mindful. Your thoughts are inquisitive. Yet, you find your answers too quick without contemplation. You would surely come to the right conclusions if you meditated on them more often.
LB: I suppose I still have much to learn, Master.
DB: Much to learn, maybe not. Much to still apply is all. Now....I feel you have another question.
LB: Why are we even on this assignment? This seems more like a job for Republic Intelligence.
DB: Well......(DB stops and looks around.) Do you sense that?
LB: Yes, I sense it too. Danger! (LB points at a crack in the wall.) It's coming from there! (LB runs towards crack.)
DB: Wait! (LB disappears into the crack. DB shakes his head.) Why did you send him with me?
(As LB enters crack and moves forward, an avalanche of rocks crashed down and blocks off both ways.)
(DB approaches blocked path from outside crack.)
DB: Are you okay?
LB: (From other side) Yes. Just trapped.
DB: Hold on. I will get you out.
(DB looks at rocks and grabs one and pulls it loose. The rest of the rocks fall free and open up the crack.)
LB: Thank you.
DB: And what are you going to do when no one is around to get you out of these messes?
LB: Don't say that, Master. Someone like you will always be around. That's why I can do this!
DB: Maybe I should just have left you in there.
LB: That would have been a very boring place to be stuck. About like being that statue back in the library.
DB: At least the statue can be quiet though and not get in trouble.
LB: I'm sorry, Master.
DB: Sorry is just an excuse, young one. How about acting...
LB: (Interrupting) Get down!!
(LB flings DB on ground as a sniper bolt hits the wall behind them.)
LB: You're welcome.
(DB glares at LB.)
DB: Remember, together this time. Reach out and anticipate the next attack.
(DB and LB search the horizon. Both evade sniper bolts. Suddenly, there is a whine in the distance and as a speeder bike drops off a far mesa and races toward them.)
(The speeder bike shoots bolts at DB and LB who pull lightsabers out and block the bolts. DB blocks a bolt back into the nose of the bike and it starts spinning side over side as it races towards them. As the bike comes by, DB slices the front, but LB flips over it slicing it 3 times before coming down on the far side. The bike slams into the wall behind the Jedi and explodes.)
(DB and LB approach wreckage and see a dead Twilek male. DB and LB shut down lightsabers and clip them back to belts.)
LB: I guess there goes any evidence. Another dead end.
DB: It would appear so now. We should head back.
LB: (Sarcastically) But this is such a nice place. I thought we might stay longer for awhile.
DB: You seem to excel at your wit. Too bad you do not apply any moderation. Especially with a lightsaber.
LB: What do you mean, Master?
DB: Look at your attack on the bike. Why 3 strikes with a flip?
LB: Why not?
DB: First, because it was unnecessary since the bike was already out of control.
LB: Then why did you strike it?
(DB glares at LB.)
DB: I was hoping to stop it from hitting the wall. We hopefully could have found useful evidence if the assassin had lived.
LB: Are you saying it's my fault he's dead? That I caused him to hit the wall?
DB: No. But that leads to the second thing. You were showing off. We do not fight to show off our skill.
LB: Why not?
DB: Tell me, would you buy 3 Delta-7s or 1? For how many are necessary?
LB: I understand. Forgive me, Master. Sometimes, it just seems so easy and....fun.
DB: I know. But we must be mindful, for easy and fun lead to the...
LB: (Interrupts) Dark Side I know.
(Suddenly there is an engine roar from up in the sky.)
LB: I wonder who that could be.
DB: I fear we may have overstayed our welcome.
LB: Oh, how wonderful.
(A shuttle descends and stops above DB and LB.)
PA Announcer from Shuttle: Jedi! You are trespassing on the Hutt home world of Nal Hutta. You will come with us to see the Hutt Council at once!
LB: This is why I thought it was a job for Republic Intelligence.
DB: Maybe you were right, Obi-Wan.
(Screen goes black.)

 

SCENE II

(Screen revealed right to left.)
(A palace sits on a mesa with bogs all around. A YV-666 freighter lifts off and flies toward space.)
(Scene shifts to doors opening and an Aqualish and Weequay holding blaster rifles lead DB/OW who have hands shackled into huge chamber with 5 raised dais in the center.)
OW: Nice place. Where is everyone?
(Aqualish grunts at OW.)
OW: I'm sorry, I don't understand you. (DB glares at OW.)
(Aqualish grunts again and moves to hit OW with the butt of his gun.)
DB: There is no need for that. We will not cause any problems. (DB glares at OW.)
Off-screen voice: Da remains tah be seen. (That remains to be seen.)
(An image of a different Hutt appears on each dais.)
Weequay: May I present to you the Grand Hutt Council. You will address them with the proper respect of else.
OW: Sure...
(DB bows and motion OW to also. OW does reluctantly.)
DB: Greetings...
2nd to Left Hutt: Choy? Are jedai doing trespassing on doe grandio Jewel of doe Hutts? (What are Jedi doing trespassing on the Glorious Jewel of the Hutts?)
DB: Exalted Ones. We mean you no ill will. My name is Qui-Gon Jinn. This is Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. We are here on assignment for the Galactic Republic.
Far Right Hutt: Doe Galactic publiko has noah authority unko! (The Galactic Republic has no authority here!)
Far Left Hutt: Except tah spy on us! (Except to spy on us!)
Qui-Gon Jinn: I assure you, that is not why we are here.
Center Hutt: Then tell us, why are you here on our home world?
OW: I didn't know any Hutt could speak Basic.
CH: Do lot sa nopa known about Jabba doe Hutt. You would do good to keep it that way. Ateema! Why are u unko! (A lot is not known about Jabba the Hutt.) (Now! Why are you here?!)
(OW waves shackled hands in air at Jabba.)
OW: You don't need to know...
JtH: (Laughs.) Do jedai mind tricks ap-xmasi work on je. This Padawan seems unqualified. U should do neechu gee him. (Your Jedi mind tricks do not work on me.) (You should do away with him.)
OW: Hey! What does that mean?
QGJ: That is not the Jedi way.
2nd to Right Hutt: Doe jedai are weak! (The Jedi are weak!)
OW: The Jedi are far better than a bunch of crime lords!
(Silence as all Hutts glare at OW. Aqualish and Weequay raise weapons. OGJ steps forward.)
OGJ: Forgive the young Padawan. As you can see he is still learning his place. We arrived here on Nal Hutta tracking a bounty hunter who attempted an assassination on a Republic Senator.
FLHutt: Do jedai lie. (The Jedi lie.)
2RHutt: Ya are noah assassins unko. (There are no assasins here.)
(OW laughs. OGJ glares at him and he stifles it.)
OW: Well, not anymore then...
JTH: Nopa anymore? (Not anymore?)
QGJ: We were forced to.....subdue the assassin...Exalted One.
2LHutt: Forced tah subdue? U mean killya. (Forced to subdue? You mean kill.)
QGJ: In self-defense, I assure you.
FRHutt: U assure us! (You assure us!)
(All Hutts laugh. Suddenly, Jabba looks serious.)
JTH: Silence! Jedai! U have trespassed um have killed without authorization tuta doe Hutt Council. U are hereby sentenced.....to death! (Jedi! You have trespassed and have killed without authorization of the Hutt Council. You are hereby sentenced.....)
OW: That's not good.
QGJ: Exalted Ones, surely we can come to a more peaceful resolution.
FLHutt: Ateema u mock our judgment? (Now you mock our judgment?)
2LHutt: U bolla peetch far! (You go too far!)
QGJ: Killing two Jedi will not go unnoticed. You all know that. How do you think the Order of the Galactic Republic will respond?
FRHutt: Jee-jee are nopa afraid of doe publiko. (We are not afraid of the Republic.)
JTH: Silence!!
2RHutt: But Jabba... (But Jabba...)
JTH: Silence!!
(JTH stares at QGJ in silence until it's uncomfortable.)
JTH: Very well, Jedi.
2LHutt: Surely u will nopa... (Surely you will not...)
(JTH slams hand down on a button in hologram and all others disappear.)
JTH: Ree well, jedai.u will perform do task che je. (Very well, Jedi. You will perform a task for me.)
QGJ: We are not your henchmen, Jabba.
OW: We don't answer to you!
JTH: You will do this task or you will not leave Nal Hutta!
(QGJ and OW look at each other. QGJ slowly looks back at JTH who just glares at him.)
QGJ: Okay, what is the task?
(Screen goes to black in clockwise spinning pattern.)